WTMFI (Way Too Much F***ing Information) Wednesdays
A weekly sex meme arousing discussions on sexuality
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The Questions & My Answers
Who was the first person you fell in love with? (Describe the person to us)
The first time I saw him, he had bright blonde hair styled into a mohawk and a big baggy white t-shirt on. I don’t remember why, but he caught my attention on that crowded chaotic morning in the first French class of the year, and I was immediately obsessed with him.
He was a chunkier guy with a serious case of bad acne and a total punk rocker from head to foot. He taught me how to play guitar, would get upset when I’d wear skirts or make up, wanted us to be drug and alcohol free, and he was my first just about everything!
Ours was a passionate, abusive, fucked-up and totally childish kind of love.
What does love feel like?
It’s hard to describe what love feels like, because it almost never feels the same twice. It’s different for every person I’ve ever felt it for. But it’s one of those things where when you feel it, you know it, because something about is familiar, comfortable, just right.
Where were you the first time you told a romantic partner you loved them?
I’m pretty sure, although I could be entirely wrong, that the first time my first boyfriend and I said “I love you” to each other was underneath the stars on a night out with a group of friends. I’m pretty sure I gave him our first handjob that night too…
With Alfie, we were babysitting my nephew at my sister’s apartment. He was getting ready to go to work and as he was walking out the door, I said “Olive Juice and Elephant Shoes” and he looked at me confused and walked out the door. When he came home that night, he walked in the door and said, “I love you too!“.
The Boyfriend and I took a long while to get to the point of saying “I love you“. We talked about doing it for weeks prior to actually doing it. There were many moments where we were both like, “I think I want to but I’m just not sure…“. We had both just been through harsh break-ups, felt weird in the fact that there was a time when we didn’t really like each other and now here we were falling love, and also Alfie was still so much a part of the picture.
When should you tell a person you love them?
I tend to take the “love” word pretty seriously. So I don’t like to rush into saying it and I won’t say it if I don’t mean it.
That being said, I also think you should never hesitate to say it if you think you feel it. Love isn’t this static thing, it evolves and grows or withers and fades. It changes just like all the other emotions do, so you should always be able express how you’re feeling, even when it’s changing.
Why do you think we fall in love?
I think the biggest reason why we fall in love is because it’s really fun! It feels good, it’s exciting, it’s different, it’s challenging, it’s all these things and so much more.
Generally, I tend to think of love as this almost scientific thing. We’re falling in love because of all of these chemicals and reactions in our brain and our horomones and all this stuff. And I always tend to say things like “evolutionary biology tells us that we fall in love because it is necessary for the survival and evolution of the species” – which I’m pretty sure I read in a book somewhere 😉
Just as the ways in which we love are endless, so are the reasons for love.
How has love positively and negatively impacted your life?
I could probably never answer this question quite accurately…
In the beginning of my love journey, love had a lot of negative impacts on my life. Love was basically a negative force. I made bad choices and decisions under the guise of love, I stayed when I should’ve run away, I held on so tight – too tight – when I should’ve just let go.
Now love permeates positivity in my life. I am surrounded by love and have completely eliminated toxic relationships. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, I wake up everyday just so grateful for what I’ve been given. I have the most amazing partner you could ask for, I have 5 going on 6 beautiful children who are my greatest source of joy and peace and the people who I choose to have in my life are supportive and caring people. I see love in each and every aspect of my life now.