#WTMFIWednesdays: Session #10 – Having Sex


WTMFI (Way Too Much F***ing Information) Wednesdays

WTMFI (Way Too Much F***ing Information) Wednesdays

A weekly sex meme arousing discussions on sexuality


The Rules


  •   Write a post answering as many of the questions as you’d like
  •   Add one of the WTMFI Wednesdays Badges
  •   Tag your post #WTMFIWednesdays
  •   Link up with us by adding your link to the original post
  •   Share your posts using our hashtag #WTMFIWednesdays

The Questions & My Answers


Question 1:
Could you write about your sexperiences? Would you?

I could definitely write about my sexperiences and I do!

I’ve technically been writing about my sexual experiences since I was 11-years-old and got my first journal. I wrote about my first fingering experience when I was 14. I wrote about sex with Alfie the first time at 16. And so, when I started regularly blogging, it just naturally evolved to writing about my sexperiences.

It brings me a lot of joy to write about them, especially when years later I can look back over those posts and remember that evolution of my sexuality. Only a small part of it has anything to do with enjoying other people reading them and enjoying them 😉

Question 2:
Should you always pee after sex?

I generally tend to think yes. I always pee after sex, because I have to. I tend to think it’s more important for girls than it is for guys, just because there’s stuff going in us more actively than in them. The Boyfriend rarely ever pees after sex. So, to each their own.

Question 3:
Would you ever have sex in front of people? Under what circumstances?

It is an absolutely huge fantasy of mine to have sex in front of people.

In one sense, my Pornhub videos are me having sex in front of people. But I would love to have sex in front of a real, live audience. Whether that be an intimate group of 4 or 5 people who I know and love or in front of a thousand strangers – I’ve fantasized frequently about them both!

I think that I would absolutely love to do this, under almost any circumstance!

Question 4:
Should you always use a condom when having sex?

I think that should be up to the partners involved.

I personally rarely ever use a condom. I don’t often use safe sex methods at all. However, I’m in a monogamous relationship and we aren’t trying to prevent pregnancy.

I would use condoms, if I were sleeping with multiple partners or if I was preventing pregnancy. I have used condoms in the past. Just don’t need to right now.

Question 5:
Could you ever see yourself as a sex worker?

Absolutely. By uploading videos to Pornhub and previously being on cam, one could argue that I am a sex worker – although I definitely wouldn’t put myself in that category. I’m more of a hobbyist.

I’ve long thought that the ideal career for me was in sex work.

BONUS:
What would you do if you didn’t enjoy the oral sex your partner was giving you?

It would honestly depend on the type of mood I was in.

If I was feeling kinda powerful or in control (which I normally do if I’m getting oral sex), then I would most likely either verbally or physically direct the person to where I want them to go. I’m not often very shy in saying, “Oh, that doesn’t feel right. Let’s try this instead.“.

There are rare nights where I will be feeling more shy or timid (which normally only happens if he suggests the oral), then I might subtly move myself into a position that feels a little better – lifting my hips or scooching to the left a little.

A lot of times, if I’m not enjoying oral (which almost never happens!), then it’s because of me and my head. A lot of focus and concentration often get me out of this spot. Focusing in on what the sensations actually feel like rather than what I think they feel like. Concentrating on the particular movement of his tongue or his hands on my hips. Often holding hands is a great way to get me past my mind.


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The Rantings - For Everyone

Looking Forward to 2018

Over the last couple of posts, I’ve been looking to the past as most of us do, as one year comes to an ending and another begins. First, I looked at some of my stats for my 2017 in Review and then I took a walk down memory lane and looked back over some of the more memorable moments of the year in Looking Back on 2017.

But now, there’s no more looking back to be done. There’s only time for looking ahead!

I’ve got some pretty big goals coming up this year. I had hoped to get a lot more done in 2017 than I did, especially in terms of blogging-related goals, but it ended up being a much busier year in real life. This year is also going to be pretty busy, but I’m getting sick of all these things sitting on the back burner.

So, here’s some of the things I have planned to do in 2018.


  • Start publishing WTMFI Wednesdays on Wednesdays

    I currently publish each session of WTMFI Wednesdays whenever I get around to it. At the time of publishing this post, I’m 3 sessions behind! I’d love to start publishing these on Wednesdays! Gotta catch up first…

  • Start doing other memes or bring back past memes

    I love memes, like a lot. They are a great way to get constant inspiration and to consistently post on your blog. I have done a few of these in the past and would like to start adding more to my repertoire. Some of them, I’d like to participate in regularly and some just every once and awhile.

    • #MasturbationMonday

      Hosted by Kayla Lords, Masturbation Monday challenges you to “write a steamy hot post about masturbation or so hot, it’ll make people want to masturbate.” I’ve never done this one, but would love to!

    • #TMITuesday

      In the vein of WTMFI Wednesdays (and probably about as old), TMI Tuesday “is a confessional of sorts where people come to reveal too much information–sexy secrets, dirty deeds, and more.” I’ve never done this one, but have always wanted to!

    • #WickedWednesday

      Wicked Wednesday is a “place where you can share your wicked sexiness or your sexy wickedness! Be creative and share!” I’ve never done this one, but think it could be fun to do every once and awhile.

    • #ThrowbackThursday

      I previously did these recap posts of my #ThrowbackThursday’s on Facebook. I still haven’t found an easy way to be able to just see these posts, so I was collecting them up myself! I want to start doing this again!

    • #FridayFavorites

      I’m a lot of places all over the web. Sometimes it’s hard to keep up with what I’m doing everywhere. So, #FridayFavorites served as a place to show you all of the stuff – from my favorite Tumblr post of the week to my favorite Tweet. I really enjoyed doing these, so I’m bringing it back!

    • #SaturdaySerenade

      #SaturdaySerenade used to be a poetry hashtag used by The Erotic Writers Group. I’m stealing it and also transforming it into a song hashtag. I plan to use it every Saturday to share musical-type things with you. You can expect to see song lyrics written by me or song lyrics that I just absolutely love and YouTube cover videos.

    • #TumblrFavorites

      Back in the day, every 3 months, you could expect to see a #TumblrFavorites post. I’d do a rundown of all the best posts to my Tumblr over that time period. I seriously miss doing these and I miss Tumblr, so I’m bringing it back!

  • Publish my first book of erotic limericks

    I’ve been working on this project for about half a year now. I decided awhile ago that it was on the list to publish my first book and also decided that that first book would be a collection of erotic limericks written by me. They’re my favorite type of poem, I love writing them and that’s why it’s going to be my first book!

  • Finish The Mermaid

    I was challenged by a member of The Erotic Writers Group last year to write a story about a mermaid. And I’ve been working mighty hard on this story on and off since I was challenged. I’m determined to have this finished this year!!!

  • Complete the first draft of The Brighton Tales

    The Brighton Tales has been a story in my head for almost a decade. I have every intention of getting this at least somewhat more complete this year. I want to get it to the point where I have the whole thing down on paper and out of my head!

  • Re-launch The Erotic Writers Group (I say this every year)

    Every year I say it and every year I mean it!

    As the creator and founder of The Erotic Writers Group, it’s my responsibility to maintain and expand this community for readers and writers of erotica. Some years, I’m absolutely amazing and the group thrives and does great. Other years, I’m a total slacker and basically just let the group do it’s thing.

    For years, I’ve been wanting to really dedicate a lot of my effort into this group. Get the website that I’ve been talking about going, post regularly and make products and publish books and the list really goes on and on and on.

    This year, I want to buckle down hard!!! Prioritize this like crazy and finally, finally bring my vision to life!!!

  • Start posting videos on Pornhub again…

    It’s been quite awhile since The Boyfriend and I posted videos on Pornhub. It wasn’t a planned experience, so we didn’t plan to keep posting. But we’ve both expressed an interest in doing more. We’ve got tons of ideas and now it’s just a matter of following through.

  • Take a lot more pictures of everything!!!

    I keep getting Facebook memories that make me think, “I should’ve gotten a picture of that!“. There’s so many memories that we’re missing out on. Plus, there’s a new baby about to be a part of our family. Always good to take lots of pictures during that time, since it goes so fast! I also want to become a better photographer and practice makes perfect.

  • Make more products for my Zazzle store

    I bet you didn’t even know I have a Zazzle store... I do and I even have some products. When I do work on this, I work pretty hard. However, I’m likely to forget it even exists for a long time. More designs, more products, more promotion!!!

  • Start playing a Sims 4 Legacy Challenge

    Way back in March, I had asked which legacy challenge I should do as my first Sims 4 challenge after my hiatus. However, I never got around to starting any challenges. I recently ran a poll on my Facebook page asking if I should even bother with the Sims 4 on ValerieRayne.com.

    Either way, I want to play a Sims 4 Legacy Challenge – even if I don’t blog about it!

  • Write something erotic once a week

    Currently, I publish erotica all willy-nilly. I want to do it a lot more!!! I think if I could dedicate myself to writing one erotic thing once a week, I’d be very happy.

  • Write a poem or song once a week

    I used to write poems/songs daily. Now, I’m lucky if it happens once or twice a year. Honestly, this year I’d just like to be more creative in general. And I really want to expand my original songs repertoire, because right now, it’s super tiny!

  • Record a new cover or original to YouTube once a month

    It’s always been a goal of mine to become more active on my YouTube channel. I’d love to be able to add a new video at least once a month. Eventually, I’d love to do a daily vlog too, but really I just need to get comfortable with a little bit more consistency on there!

  • Check into my Tumblr at least once a week

    I was doing a great job of this for quite a long time. And then, I went through a period of rarely ever being aroused and Tumblr really went to the way back burner. I haven’t even looked at it in a few weeks now… It’s time to get back to the good ole days and check into my Tumblr more often!!!

  • Participate in the Goodreads reading challenge

    I have been participating in this for a few years now. Usually, I set the bar way too high and never come even close to the mark. Last year, I set the bar incredibly low with only 1 book to read and of course, did it. This year, I want to actually challenge myself but also make it a reachable goal, so I’ve chosen to try to read 13 books (one for each month and one for good luck 😉)

  • Buy and review an erotic eBook once a month

    Currently, I don’t read any erotica. I never seem to be able to find the time or the space to just sit down and do it. But I really want to support some of the people who have supported me over the years – especially members of The Erotic Writers Group. I also want to try my hand at writing reviews 😉

  • Figure out a way to offer audio of all of my blog posts

    I don’t know why, but I’ve been obsessed with this idea for about half a year now. First of all, I think sometimes my writing comes off as confusing because you can’t get my tone or inflection through commas and exclamation points! Also, I know there is an audience, especially for posts like my erotica or sexperiences.

    I haven’t figured out how I want to do this or what exactly I want it to be like (so if you have any suggestions…), I just know that I’ve been obsessed with the idea and so I have to figure out how to do it!


Ultimately, we can sum up all my goals for the year into three words: More, Consistency and Creativity.  I want to be more consistent and I want to be more creative. I want to finish something, not just start it. Now, it’s just a matter of getting it done!!!

The List - For Everyone

#BucketListed: Publish My First Book

I’ve long talked about my desire to write a book. It’s something I’ve always wanted to do.

I even have books in the works. By in the works, I mean that they are sitting in folders – some of them only just started, some of them just outlined and some of them with thousands of unedited words.

However, I would in no way say that I’m anywhere near the point of publishing said first book yet. Not even close!

Being an author is a way of immortalizing yourself – more than almost any other medium. Words live for centuries!  You can still read the words of authors and philosophers written from thousands of years ago. I was always a big fan of journaling, to remember myself, to remember who I was. To immortalize and preserve myself for myself.

What began as journaling evolved into writing. It’s how I started blogging. I wasn’t doing it to reach out to readers or start conversations, I was just writing in my online journal. Then I began publishing erotica and can now, sorta, put myself into the writer category. Sorta.

In terms of what types of books I want to publish, it ranges and varies. Generally, I want to stick to sex-based subjects, because it’s what I think I know. And what I’m passionate about – which is ultimately what matters. From erotic novels to non-fiction sexual education-type books.

Does that mean that this should be #FucketListed?

To which, my answer is, no it shouldn’t be. Because it’s not a sexual want/desire/aspiration. It’s a very day-to-day mundane interaction – writing a book, that is. Publishing a book is not sexual, even if it’s content may be. And if I only wanted to publish erotica, then maybe. But again, that’s not all I can write!

More than anything though, I want to feel my book in my hands. I struggle with publishing an eBook alone because I want to feel the weight of my words. I want to hear my finger slide down the page and the spine crack! I want to turn the crisp pages and have that memorable smell waft towards my nose. I want to make it to the final page and experience the ending in the way only closing a book can allow. I want to set it down and feel completed.

The Rantings - For Everyone

Scatterbrained

I have been attempting to write for days now. I’ve technically done a lot of writing. My drafts folder is filled with half-finished posts. Finishing things is absolutely not happening for me right now. It means that I’ve been refusing to hit publish.

It’s the weather. It’s the cleaning. It’s that crap between The Boyfriend and I that I have yet to be able to adequately write about. It’s the kids – especially the daughter who has been upsetting everyone and the baby who has been incredibly needy. It’s everything! Absolutely everything is making it hard for me to get anything done or to even want to do it in the first place.

I have never helped so little in preparation for our annual inspection. I was pregnant last year and worked 10x harder than I have this year. For all my bitching about The Boyfriend, he has been beyond amazing, because he’s just been working circles around me – even though he’s exhausted from working and getting less than 6 hours of sleep almost every single day.

We’re down to 3 days before the inspection and there is still an epic laundry list of things to do. Right now, I feel like if we pass, it’ll be because they’ve lowered their standards. However, I feel like this 3 days before every single year and somehow we manage to pull it all together and make this place look spectacular. So, I’m hopeful…

We’ve got so much stuff to do this time of year. I always look forward to Spring because not only does it bring warmer weather but it also brings the largest amounts of money we see all year. Profit sharing and taxes hit within weeks of each other, plus our paydays, and we never go through periods of having to borrow money from people like we do in Winter – because of birthdays, back-to-school and Christmas being all clumped together. However, it becomes one of our busiest times of year because there’s always stuff to do.

Everyday I’m adding stuff to the list of stuff that we’ve gotta do. The Boyfriend’s poor face whenever I do just breaks my heart. He gets his hopes up that he’s going to get to sleep longer and then I remind him that we have to do this or that and his sleep decreases by an hour. I feel so bad for him right now. I can never get over the fact that he does all of this and doesn’t complain once. He never whines or pouts (at least, not outright), he doesn’t distance himself from me (even though, it’s gotta bother him when I’m sitting on the couch and he’s cleaning after being awake for 20 hours…), he never gets mad. I’ve been sure to be a constant stream of appreciation for his absolute amazingness.

My Mom is also being a great help and taking the kids for a night so that we can focus without having to tag team so much. It’s hard to get anything done when the boys wanna tell you a story and the baby wants to be held and the daughter is asking if she can go somewhere with someone. I’ve been finding that my brain is super scattered lately because of all the information for all the people that I’m holding in it. Trying to keep track of friends names and which YouTuber the boys are into and how much food did the baby actually eat today – it’s all just a lot of stuff going on up there. Not to mention my own ideas, thoughts, fantasies and daydreams.

It’s just the beginning of April, but I absolutely feel like I’m ready for it to be over already…

The Writing - For Everyone

I Write to Remember

I Write to Remember

I write to remember
So I won’t forget
All the places I’ve been
All the people I’ve met

I write to remember
Every moment in time
When the seconds and minutes
Did more than tick by

I write to remember
Every day of my life
The days filled with love
The years, with strife

I write to remember
All the love that I’ve had
All of the good times
And all of the bad

I write to remember
All of these things
Because life lives
In the memory

The Rantings - For Everyone

Check In and Vent

One of the things that I absolutely love about The Boyfriend is his ability to completely calm me when my nerves are running rampant. He can tell immediately when something is up and somehow always manages to say exactly the right things to make me forget how stressed out I feel.

Getting Back-To-School Ready

We went to the school and got all the school lists for the year. I refrained from feeling utterly embarrassed when Kaeidyn inquired what type of counselling programs her middle school will have – and whether or not there will be one for kids whose parents have split up. First of all, we originally asked for counselling due to a break-IN not a break-UP. Second, we don’t think she needs counselling for something that happened seven years ago and has always been an amicable break up. Third, the first time anyone at the school meets us as a family and our kid is already asking for counselling… I’m sure I turned various shades of red!

We plan on waking up early tomorrow to do the actual school shopping. The plan is to go first thing in the morning when the stores are likely to have less people in them so that it won’t be such a hassle keeping track of the four kids. I’m stressing about the financial aspects and how much it’s going to cost, but The Boyfriend says he’s got it all figured out and I know from experience that if he says it, he means it. So, I’m letting him worry about it and I’ll worry about the kids.

Boys Being Boys

The boys have all been pretty terrible these last couple of days and that’s causing me a great deal of stress. I feel like I’m yelling a lot lately and they all just seem to be at really terrible stages. Kenzie is getting into talking back and I always find that really hard to deal with. I hate when my kids leave my mouth gaping and speechless. Carter seems to always want to fight with everyone and no one is ever interested in fighting. And so he’ll keep pushing and pushing and pushing until eventually the person gets irritated enough to strike back in a big way. Albeit, he hasn’t gotten hurt at all, there is a lot of crying involved in the whole process – this super dramatic, over-acted cry. And while Keirnan never seems to be directly involved in anything that is causing trouble, he does always have to involve himself in some way, sneakily. He’s also been lying, a lot!

I’m hoping that it will just ease itself out over the next couple of weeks. I think a great deal of it all is caused by excitement over back-to-school. I think a great deal of it is caused by a lack of structure in their days. I think once those two things become relatively more fixed, they’ll naturally let up on the constant bad behaviour. I hope…

The End…

I’ve been trying to write a lot over the last two days. My drafts folder is evidence of this, as I am officially up into the double digits for those. I keep getting two or three paragraphs into something, it’ll give me an idea for something else and the ideas just keep coming in those three paragraph snippets. Everything is left undone. And unfortunately, I struggle with picking things back up after I’ve neglected them. I’m working really hard on a few of the posts though and I’m hoping to have something erotic posted in the next day or so, because I gotta get at least one out of my drafts…

Well, that’s all I’ve got to catch up on for now. Just wanted to check in and vent 😉