#WTMFIWednesdays - Session #15 Cover Photo

#WTMFIWednesdays: Session #15 – Penises


WTMFI (Way Too Much F***ing Information) Wednesdays

WTMFI (Way Too Much F***ing Information) Wednesdays

A weekly sex meme arousing discussions on sexuality


The Rules


  •   Write a post answering as many of the questions as you’d like
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  •   Tag your post #WTMFIWednesdays
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The Questions & My Answers


Question 1:
Should penis-holders be circumcised?

I am always so mixed about this…

In terms of the cock that I like to look at, my preference is for circumcised. And that is why it always makes me feel a little bad that…

All four of my boys are uncircumcised, unlike their Dad’s. When we had Kenzie, our first boy, we had considered getting done but had a doctor who downright refused to do it or to refer us to anyone else who would do it. At the time I was also reading a lot of blogs by people who had felt violated in some way because of being circumcised. And the science is so mixed on the subject…

So do I think penis-holders should be circumcised… I think penis-holders should get to decide that.

Question 2:
If you could grow a penis elsewhere on your body, where would you want it?

Because I’m a girl, the very first place I would want a penis on my body is the usual place.

But if I already had that and could grow another one somewhere else, I’d think my chin. Sure it would look terrible and covering it up would be pretty hard, but imagine what you could do with a penis on your chin… Oral sex could potentially be really amazing!!!

Question 3:
If you could change one thing about your sexuality, what would it be?

I’d probably like to be less curious and open-minded. It sounds kinda odd, but I feel like it would solve so many of my problems.

If I wasn’t so open-minded and curious, I wouldn’t have to deal with constantly being turned down when I find a new desire. I wouldn’t know that there is a world of endless possibilities that are just there, beyond my reach. I wouldn’t be a wannabe kinkster in a vanilla relationship…

Question 4:
Should you shower before or after sex?

I think you probably should after sex – good way to stave off yeast infections – but the reality is that I shower before sex, almost never after it – unless it was really messy!

Question 5:
Would you like to experience an orgasm from the opposite gender’s perspective?

Absolutely, although I think I will definitely be disappointed. I feel like, for guys, it’s a quick minor explosion whereas for me it’s this seemingly endless wave of explosions. However, I’d like to experience his come down from orgasm as opposed to mine, because sleep just comes so easy for him afterwards and it sounds like amazing sleep!

BONUS:
Would you ever participate in a protest that dealt with sexuality?

Absolutely! I’ve never felt passionately enough about anything to protest it, nor have I ever lived near any movements that are facing the potential of protest, but if I had the opportunity and the passion, I would definitely protest for anything that I felt I had a right to.


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#WTMFIWednesdays - Session #14 Cover Photo

#WTMFIWednesdays: Session #14 – Amazing or Mediocre?


WTMFI (Way Too Much F***ing Information) Wednesdays

WTMFI (Way Too Much F***ing Information) Wednesdays

A weekly sex meme arousing discussions on sexuality


The Rules


  •   Write a post answering as many of the questions as you’d like
  •   Add one of the WTMFI Wednesdays Badges
  •   Tag your post #WTMFIWednesdays
  •   Link up with us by adding your link to the original post
  •   Share your posts using our hashtag #WTMFIWednesdays

The Questions & My Answers


Question 1:
Would you rather listen to music during sex or listen to TV during sex?

I would rather listen to music during sex, but the reality is, if there’s any electronics on at all, it’s likely to be a TV.

Question 2:
Would you rather use chocolate sauce or whipped cream during sex?

Whipped cream without a doubt. Not a huge fan of chocolate, even though I think I’d like the consistency and such on my skin, I wouldn’t like the taste or the smell as much as I would with whipped cream.

Question 3:
Would you rather have amazing sex infrequently or mediocre sex frequently?

I think probably mediocre sex frequently. I’ve long said that after three days of no sex I start to get bitchy. And let’s be real, mediocre sex with someone you love is still pretty freaking great sex.

Question 4:
Would you rather read an erotic book or listen to an erotic audiobook?

I would probably rather read an erotic book. I’ve only ever listened to one erotic audiobook and it was a great experience, but it’s not the same as reading. Ideally, I’d do both because I think they’re both different experiences and should both be had!

Question 5:
Would you rather use a glass dildo or a silicone dildo during sex?

I can’t answer this question for sure because out of the two options, I’ve only ever used glass dildos. I like the appearance of glass dildos a lot and also the concept of being able to heat them up and cool them down and the texture.

But honestly, I’m not a huge fan of sex toys. Of the four vibrators/dildos that I’ve had in my lifetime, 2 of them have been lost and the other 2 are glass dildos that get used probably once or twice a year…

BONUS:
Would you rather be paid to have sex in person or be paid to have sex on camera?

I would like to be paid to have either of these types of sex, but I think I would honestly rather get paid to have sex in person. I feel like I would feel like I earned it more if it was in person than if it was on camera.


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#WTMFIWednesdays - Session #13 Cover Photo

#WTMFIWednesdays: Session #13 – Loverly


WTMFI (Way Too Much F***ing Information) Wednesdays

WTMFI (Way Too Much F***ing Information) Wednesdays

A weekly sex meme arousing discussions on sexuality


The Rules


  •   Write a post answering as many of the questions as you’d like
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  •   Tag your post #WTMFIWednesdays
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The Questions & My Answers


Question 1:
Who was the first person you fell in love with? (Describe the person to us)

The first time I saw him, he had bright blonde hair styled into a mohawk and a big baggy white t-shirt on. I don’t remember why, but he caught my attention on that crowded chaotic morning in the first French class of the year, and I was immediately obsessed with him.

He was a chunkier guy with a serious case of bad acne and a total punk rocker from head to foot. He taught me how to play guitar, would get upset when I’d wear skirts or make up, wanted us to be drug and alcohol free, and he was my first just about everything!

Ours was a passionate, abusive, fucked-up and totally childish kind of love.

Question 2:
What does love feel like?

It’s hard to describe what love feels like, because it almost never feels the same twice. It’s different for every person I’ve ever felt it for. But it’s one of those things where when you feel it, you know it, because something about is familiar, comfortable, just right.

Question 3:
Where were you the first time you told a romantic partner you loved them?

I’m pretty sure, although I could be entirely wrong, that the first time my first boyfriend and I said “I love you” to each other was underneath the stars on a night out with a group of friends. I’m pretty sure I gave him our first handjob that night too…

With Alfie, we were babysitting my nephew at my sister’s apartment. He was getting ready to go to work and as he was walking out the door, I said “Olive Juice and Elephant Shoes” and he looked at me confused and walked out the door. When he came home that night, he walked in the door and said, “I love you too!“.

The Boyfriend and I took a long while to get to the point of saying “I love you“. We talked about doing it for weeks prior to actually doing it. There were many moments where we were both like, “I think I want to but I’m just not sure…“. We had both just been through harsh break-ups, felt weird in the fact that there was a time when we didn’t really like each other and now here we were falling love, and also Alfie was still so much a part of the picture.

Question 4:
When should you tell a person you love them?

I tend to take the “love” word pretty seriously. So I don’t like to rush into saying it and I won’t say it if I don’t mean it.

That being said, I also think you should never hesitate to say it if you think you feel it. Love isn’t this static thing, it evolves and grows or withers and fades. It changes just like all the other emotions do, so you should always be able express how you’re feeling, even when it’s changing.

Question 5:
Why do you think we fall in love?

I think the biggest reason why we fall in love is because it’s really fun! It feels good, it’s exciting, it’s different, it’s challenging, it’s all these things and so much more.

Generally, I tend to think of love as this almost scientific thing. We’re falling in love because of all of these chemicals and reactions in our brain and our horomones and all this stuff. And I always tend to say things like “evolutionary biology tells us that we fall in love because it is necessary for the survival and evolution of the species” – which I’m pretty sure I read in a book somewhere 😉

Just as the ways in which we love are endless, so are the reasons for love.

BONUS:
How has love positively and negatively impacted your life?

I could probably never answer this question quite accurately…

In the beginning of my love journey, love had a lot of negative impacts on my life. Love was basically a negative force. I made bad choices and decisions under the guise of love, I stayed when I should’ve run away, I held on so tight – too tight – when I should’ve just let go.

Now love permeates positivity in my life. I am surrounded by love and have completely eliminated toxic relationships. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, I wake up everyday just so grateful for what I’ve been given. I have the most amazing partner you could ask for, I have 5 going on 6 beautiful children who are my greatest source of joy and peace and the people who I choose to have in my life are supportive and caring people. I see love in each and every aspect of my life now.


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#WTMFIWednesdays - Session #12 Cover Photo

#WTMFIWednesdays: Session #12 – Sex on the Beach


WTMFI (Way Too Much F***ing Information) Wednesdays

WTMFI (Way Too Much F***ing Information) Wednesdays

A weekly sex meme arousing discussions on sexuality


The Rules


  •   Write a post answering as many of the questions as you’d like
  •   Add one of the WTMFI Wednesdays Badges
  •   Tag your post #WTMFIWednesdays
  •   Link up with us by adding your link to the original post
  •   Share your posts using our hashtag #WTMFIWednesdays

The Questions & My Answers


Question 1:
Have you ever had sex on a beach?

No and I vary on whether or not I’d want to. I went through a phase where I was immediately dismissive and all, “But the sand… In places…”. And at the end of almost every winter, when I’ve officially had enough of it, I’ll go through phases where I want to watch a lot of sex on the beach and fantasize about it.

I know that it’s more the sun and the warmth on naked skin after so long of having nothing but cold and sweaters on naked skin that I’m desiring, but there’s nothing like the lapping water in the background or the public display.

I would probably do it, assuming I was going through a phase 😉

Question 2:  
Have you ever had sex in a public washroom?

No – which is actually a little surprising. Then again, I don’t think I’ve ever been in a public washroom that would make me feel comfortable enough to have sex – even just a quickie – in it. I’m not a huge fan of bathroom sex in general, so…

Question 3:
Have you ever gone to a nude beach?

I never have, although I only recently learnt that we have some in my province. I would definitely do this, as long as I had someone to go with me.

Question 4:
Have you ever had sex in a moving vehicle (car, train, boat, plane, etc.)?

No, but absolutely #FucketListed!

Question 5:
Have you ever had sex in your parent’s bed?

I don’t think I’ve ever had sex in my parent’s bed, but I’ve definitely had sex in my partner’s parents bed. I’ve had sex in my parent’s house but in my own bed 😉

BONUS:
Have you ever had sex in or near a church?

I wouldn’t say that I’m necessarily proud of it, because 30-something-year-old me is a little bit of a prude, but…

I once had sex on the steps outside of a church after a very drunken night at the dance club. I honestly can barely remember the details, except that walking up those steps to get fucked from behind, it was the first time in hours that I hadn’t stumbled!


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#WTMFIWednesdays - Session #11 Cover Photo

#WTMFIWednesdays: Session #11 – Your Body


WTMFI (Way Too Much F***ing Information) Wednesdays

WTMFI (Way Too Much F***ing Information) Wednesdays

A weekly sex meme arousing discussions on sexuality


The Rules


  •   Write a post answering as many of the questions as you’d like
  •   Add one of the WTMFI Wednesdays Badges
  •   Tag your post #WTMFIWednesdays
  •   Link up with us by adding your link to the original post
  •   Share your posts using our hashtag #WTMFIWednesdays

The Questions & My Answers


Question 1:
Can you remember a time when you really loved your body?

I often love my body, so I can remember lots of times. It’s not the best body and it’s not a super healthy body, but it’s a body that has lived and survived through a lot. A lot of times when I look in the mirror, I don’t see the weight I’ve gained or the marks and scars, I see the life I’ve lived. Obviously, it’s not always like this (see question 2), but more often than not, for at least the last few years, it’s more of an appreciation.

Most of the times when I can vividly remember loving my body and my appearance come from dancing. When I’m dancing and really enjoying myself, there is literally nothing you could say to make me feel like I’m not the most gorgeous person ever!

Question 2:
Can you remember a time when you really hated your body?

I’ve gone through various points in my life where I really just couldn’t stand my body.

When I was a younger kid, I was ridiculously skinny. I just couldn’t gain weight no matter what I did. And I got picked on a lot about it – lots of anorexia accusations, even though they would literally watch me eat huge meals. I was obsessed with the idea of exercising because “muscle weighs more than fat” and maybe if I had some muscles, I wouldn’t be so skinny. I absolutely refused to wear anything that showed off my upper thigh because you could see my bright blue veins and that was horrifying to me!

Then, awhile after Kaeidyn was born – a bad spout of post-partum depression and an intensively abusive relationship – I started to put back on the baby weight that I had begun to lose. Alfie had taken to calling me fat and lazy, which happens when you’re sleeping all day and waking up just long enough to nibble on junk food, and while none of that really affected my body positivity while Alfie and I were together it did end up playing into things later with The Boyfriend and I.

I would write posts about how bad my insecurities had gotten and how much my negative body image was negatively affecting my life. It was a rough time that is often a great way to remind myself that I don’t need to have these issues. They are a waste of time.

Question 3:
Do you think your body is a healthy body? How does that answer make you feel?

I definitely don’t feel like my body is a healthy body. My body is a just barely sustained vessel.

I don’t eat properly. I don’t exercise. In terms of nutrient intake, I’m lacking in just about everything you can think of. In terms of amount of food, I normally eat one small meal a day and a snack or two before bed – the bulk of my eating happening in the late hours of the night. I haven’t had a drink of just plain water volunatarily in years – the last time was at the doctors and I complained the whole time. I tend to sit in front of my computer in my spot on the couch for almost all of my waking hours. I stretch because my body is sore, but other than that, dishes and dinner is the most exercise I’m getting in a day. So, I don’t take very good care of my body.

Health-wise, I’m not terribly bad off. I don’t really have any health issues that we know about. When I do have health issues, they are normally related to a pregnancy or in the case of the year-long period, trying to stop pregnancy.

Sometimes, I’m really down about my unhealthy body, especially if it’s failed me a lot. The last job I had, I complained almost everyday when at the end of the day I would come home and be completely confined to a chair complaining. I can’t stand when my lack of health is laughing in my face. Most days, I just don’t think about it.

Question 4:
Has your body ever failed you? Not worked the way you wanted it to?

My body fails me almost on the daily! It has been that way for many years now. I often say that “I’m only in my 30’s, why do I feel like I’m in my 90’s?“. My body often aches – from bones to muscles – I have pain in my knees, my hips, my back, my neck. I once had joint pain so bad in my knees and hands that my doctor thought I might have rheumatoid arthritis, although nothing ever happened with any of that and now my knees are the only bothersome issue.

I’ve had to stop mid-sex to un-cramp a cramped muscle. I’ve had to stop and stand completely still because something is stiff. I’ve had to use my furniture in interesting ways to support my sore body. I’ve had to take baths in the middle of the night and keep The Boyfriend up late to relax spasms. My body fails me a lot…

Question 5:
Would you say that you have a negative body image or a positive body image?

I have a meh body image.

Some days I’m all, “Damn, I’m sexy!” and nothing you could say, no mirror could change my mind. Other days I’m all, “Frumpy and dumpy is the style today” and every mirror gets a cringe and if you were to say I looked pregnant when I wasn’t, I would fume for three days!

But most of the time, I don’t really care or think about it. If I’m comfortable that’s all that matters. I don’t care about out-of-place hairs or shirts that show off my belly. It just isn’t on my mind, my body.

BONUS:
What is your favorite thing about your body? Least favorite?

My favorite things about my body are definitely my boobs and my lips. I love the little dip in my lips and the shape of my breasts. My least favorite thing about my body is definitely my ass – it’s always been my most hated. When I was younger, it was too flat. Now, it’s too… I don’t even know. Just not how I want it to look!


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#WTMFIWednesdays - Session #10 Cover Photo (1)

#WTMFIWednesdays: Session #10 – Having Sex


WTMFI (Way Too Much F***ing Information) Wednesdays

WTMFI (Way Too Much F***ing Information) Wednesdays

A weekly sex meme arousing discussions on sexuality


The Rules


  •   Write a post answering as many of the questions as you’d like
  •   Add one of the WTMFI Wednesdays Badges
  •   Tag your post #WTMFIWednesdays
  •   Link up with us by adding your link to the original post
  •   Share your posts using our hashtag #WTMFIWednesdays

The Questions & My Answers


Question 1:
Could you write about your sexperiences? Would you?

I could definitely write about my sexperiences and I do!

I’ve technically been writing about my sexual experiences since I was 11-years-old and got my first journal. I wrote about my first fingering experience when I was 14. I wrote about sex with Alfie the first time at 16. And so, when I started regularly blogging, it just naturally evolved to writing about my sexperiences.

It brings me a lot of joy to write about them, especially when years later I can look back over those posts and remember that evolution of my sexuality. Only a small part of it has anything to do with enjoying other people reading them and enjoying them 😉

Question 2:
Should you always pee after sex?

I generally tend to think yes. I always pee after sex, because I have to. I tend to think it’s more important for girls than it is for guys, just because there’s stuff going in us more actively than in them. The Boyfriend rarely ever pees after sex. So, to each their own.

Question 3:
Would you ever have sex in front of people? Under what circumstances?

It is an absolutely huge fantasy of mine to have sex in front of people.

In one sense, my Pornhub videos are me having sex in front of people. But I would love to have sex in front of a real, live audience. Whether that be an intimate group of 4 or 5 people who I know and love or in front of a thousand strangers – I’ve fantasized frequently about them both!

I think that I would absolutely love to do this, under almost any circumstance!

Question 4:
Should you always use a condom when having sex?

I think that should be up to the partners involved.

I personally rarely ever use a condom. I don’t often use safe sex methods at all. However, I’m in a monogamous relationship and we aren’t trying to prevent pregnancy.

I would use condoms, if I were sleeping with multiple partners or if I was preventing pregnancy. I have used condoms in the past. Just don’t need to right now.

Question 5:
Could you ever see yourself as a sex worker?

Absolutely. By uploading videos to Pornhub and previously being on cam, one could argue that I am a sex worker – although I definitely wouldn’t put myself in that category. I’m more of a hobbyist.

I’ve long thought that the ideal career for me was in sex work.

BONUS:
What would you do if you didn’t enjoy the oral sex your partner was giving you?

It would honestly depend on the type of mood I was in.

If I was feeling kinda powerful or in control (which I normally do if I’m getting oral sex), then I would most likely either verbally or physically direct the person to where I want them to go. I’m not often very shy in saying, “Oh, that doesn’t feel right. Let’s try this instead.“.

There are rare nights where I will be feeling more shy or timid (which normally only happens if he suggests the oral), then I might subtly move myself into a position that feels a little better – lifting my hips or scooching to the left a little.

A lot of times, if I’m not enjoying oral (which almost never happens!), then it’s because of me and my head. A lot of focus and concentration often get me out of this spot. Focusing in on what the sensations actually feel like rather than what I think they feel like. Concentrating on the particular movement of his tongue or his hands on my hips. Often holding hands is a great way to get me past my mind.


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#WTMFIWednesdays - Session #9 Cover Photo (1)

#WTMFIWednesdays: Session #9 – Before He Cheats


WTMFI (Way Too Much F***ing Information) Wednesdays

WTMFI (Way Too Much F***ing Information) Wednesdays

A weekly sex meme arousing discussions on sexuality


The Rules


  •   Write a post answering as many of the questions as you’d like
  •   Add one of the WTMFI Wednesdays Badges
  •   Tag your post #WTMFIWednesdays
  •   Link up with us by adding your link to the original post
  •   Share your posts using our hashtag #WTMFIWednesdays

The Questions & My Answers


Question 1:
Have you ever been cheated on?

I only know for sure of one time that I’ve been cheated on, although I’ve suspected that 2 out of 3 of my boyfriends have cheated on me.

Surprisingly, even though I had long suspected that he had cheated on me with girls, the only time that I know about was him sleeping with another man. It came as no surprise since it had always been a curiousity of his and I didn’t find out about it until over a year after it happened, so I wasn’t really upset either.

Question 2:  
Have you ever cheated on a partner?

Unfortunately the answer to this question is yes.

For the first four-ish months of The Boyfriend and I’s relationship, I was still sleeping with the older kids’ Dad, Alfie. It wasn’t what I wanted to be doing (see my answer for the bonus question…) and I wasn’t doing it to try to hurt The Boyfriend or Alfie in anyway. At the time, I thought it was what was needed for people’s protections – mostly the kids.

It was an incredibly complicated situation that makes absolutely no sense to me almost a decade later and I’m just glad that we all made it through the way that we did, because stuff could’ve turned out very differently…

Question 3:
Have you ever faked an orgasm?

Yes. And not even for my partner’s benefit, but for my own. It’s not like a go-to thing either. I won’t just fake an orgasm for the sake of faking an orgasm. I’m perfectly happy most of the time to go without an orgasm and be completely honest with everyone (including myself) that I didn’t orgasm and that’s okay.

But sometimes, you’ve worked so hard, you’ve gone so long, you’ve put so much effort in!

Question 4:
Have you ever fallen in love with someone who didn’t love you back?

Not that I know of.

Question 5:
Have you ever had an STI?

No.

BONUS:
Have you ever had sex with someone when you didn’t want to?

Technically, yes. Although, it was not rape. And you’re like, “Wait… How’s that now?“, but you’d be wrong… I’ve had sex a lot when I didn’t really want to.

In some cases, it’s like the faked orgasm thing. Sometimes you force yourself to get over the hump of lack of sexual arousal because nothing else seems to work. When you’re deep in depression, deep in the fog, for example. When pain in your back or knees or legs is telling you not to do it, but you know it’s the only thing that’ll help (literally just experienced this last night!!!). When anxiety or responsibilities or life is making arousal impossible. Sometimes, you push through that!

The four months that I cheated on The Boyfriend, it wasn’t like I was enthusiastically still sleeping with the ex. Looking back on it now, I would describe it as something akin to “dutiful“. Almost as if the whole time I was thinking, “I must do this, for so and so’s benefit/protection/happiness” – although in no way was I ever saying “No“. Time and perspective and healing has given me that view of the situation.

So yes, I’ve had sex when I didn’t want to, under a whole variety of circumstances.


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#WTMFIWednesdays - Session #7 Cover Photo

#WTMFIWednesdays: Session #7 – Feet or Hands?


WTMFI (Way Too Much F***ing Information) Wednesdays

WTMFI (Way Too Much F***ing Information) Wednesdays

A weekly sex meme arousing discussions on sexuality


The Rules


  •   Write a post answering as many of the questions as you’d like
  •   Add one of the WTMFI Wednesdays Badges
  •   Tag your post #WTMFIWednesdays
  •   Link up with us by adding your link to the original post
  •   Share your posts using our hashtag #WTMFIWednesdays

The Questions & My Answers


Question 1:
Would you rather kiss a foot or kiss a hand?

I would rather kiss a foot. I am not a huge fan of the idea of my lips against feet or anyone’s lips against mine!

Question 2:
Would you rather look at pictures of hands or feet?

Feet. I’m a big fan of footography. I especially like looking at my own.

Question 3:
Would you rather shoes or gloves?

I think I would rather shoes. If I’m going to go window shopping online for anything, it’d be shoes. And it ties into the footography thing.

Question 4:
Would you rather lick the sole of a foot or suck on a toe?

Lick the sole of a foot. Toes are kinda weird to me. They look weird, they feel weird. Just not really my bag. So, definitely lick the sole of a foot.

Question 5:
Would you rather have a foot fetish or a hand fetish?

I would say that I have more of a foot fetish than a hand fetish – although I technically have neither. I’m just more attracted to the foot than the hand. But a hand fetish would be very interesting!

BONUS:
Would you rather being slapped or stepped on?

Definitely would rather being slapped. I enjoy being slapped quite a bit. It makes an invigorating sound. It’s stingy and thuddy. Getting stepped on would be more compression-y, and I’m less into that.


View Session #7 of WTMFI Wednesdays


#WTMFIWednesdays - Session #6 Cover Photo

#WTMFIWednesdays: Session #6 – Pornography


WTMFI (Way Too Much F***ing Information) Wednesdays

WTMFI (Way Too Much F***ing Information) Wednesdays

A weekly sex meme arousing discussions on sexuality


The Rules


  •   Write a post answering as many of the questions as you’d like
  •   Add one of the WTMFI Wednesdays Badges
  •   Tag your post #WTMFIWednesdays
  •   Link up with us by adding your link to the original post
  •   Share your posts using our hashtag #WTMFIWednesdays

The Questions & My Answers


Question 1:
Who are your favorite porn performers?

I don’t really have favorite porn performers. Honestly, I don’t think I watch enough porn to be able to accurately choose a favorite. My tastes in porn also fluctuate frequently, therefore so do my preferences for appearance, performance, ability, etc. My favorite porn performers, at any given time, always look like they enjoy being there. Even if they’re crying or screaming out in pain, they still look like they are enjoying it.

I’d be lying if I didn’t say that one of my favorite porn performers is myself. While I’m highly critical of myself (which is why I only have 6 videos posted out of my home library on Pornhub, even though I have at least a dozen more), when I think I’m hot, I think I’m really hot! I enjoy watching myself enjoying myself!

Question 2:
What is your favorite type of porn?

My favorite type of porn changes constantly. Sometimes, I can’t get enough of lesbian porn and then sometimes I don’t want to watch it at all. I’ll go through periods of only wanting to watch hetero-couples where the girl must be a brunette. At times, I really enjoy watching porn that absolutely pushes my limits and makes me cringe and shudder in disbelief.

Ultimately, my favorite porn is intriguing porn. It doesn’t just stimulate my genitals, it stimulates my mind. I don’t care too much about storyline or plot, quality of production isn’t as important to me. But if it makes me go “Hmm” at any point, I’m likely to enjoy it a lot more.

Question 3:
Where do you typically consume your porn? Describe the setting.

I almost always watch porn in my living room. I have a big couch that I like to stretch out on. I usually use my Xbox One to connect to Pornhub – although we’ll sometimes venture elsewhere. We’re just really most comfortable with it. Then, I lounge and watch porn with the volume relatively low on my 42″.

Question 4:
When do you typically watch porn?

I don’t get to watch porn nearly as often as I would like to. In a perfect world, I’d watch it daily. But the reality is, I rarely ever feel like watching porn. It happens every couple of months, I’ll normally go on a bit of a two week binge, and then don’t look at it or think about it again.

In terms of time of day, I almost always watch porn at night.

Question 5:
Why do you like the porn you like?

My favorite types of porn always make me think about my own sexuality. Make me question things like, “Am I into that?“, “Could I do that?“, “I wonder what that would feel like?“. It’s more immersive than just getting aroused. I can get aroused all on my lonesome, the porn has to add something to it.

BONUS:
How do you typically consume your porn? Describe the experience.

A typical night of porn consumption:

The Boyfriend and I cuddle up on the couch and scroll through Tumblr as he’s finishing up playing games. I point out all the things I like and think are interesting as he shoots bad guys. Then, Pornhub gets turned on.

This is generally a long boring part of the night. We try to only pick videos that are longer than 20 minutes, unless something really catches our eye. It takes us a long time to pick even one video and we spend most of this time just scrolling through the pages talking about the various titles and video thumbnails. Sometimes, we’re teasing each other throughout, but sometimes we’re just scrolling.

The porn usually gets left on while we’re having sex, although it’s almost always completely ignored.


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#WTMFIWednesdays - Session #4 Cover Photo

#WTMFIWednesdays: Session #4 – Lick or Spit?


WTMFI (Way Too Much F***ing Information) Wednesdays

WTMFI (Way Too Much F***ing Information) Wednesdays

A weekly sex meme arousing discussions on sexuality


The Rules


  •   Write a post answering as many of the questions as you’d like
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The Questions & My Answers


#Q1: Would you rather... give or receive oral sex?
#Q1: Would you rather… give or receive oral sex?

#A1:

I would definitely rather give oral sex. Don’t get me wrong, I love receiving oral sex. But I’ve always considered myself a bit of an artiste when it comes to blowjobs (and I imagine cunnilingus too, just have no proof for that particular experience) and derive a lot of serious pleasure from the act of giving oral sex. I’ve written plenty about it and I even have the quotes to prove it 😉

Session #4 - #Q2: Would you rather... lick up spit or cum? - #WTMFIWednesdays
#Q2: Would you rather… lick up spit or cum?

#A2:

Definitely cum.

I’ve never really been all that into spit. I get really grossed out when watching porn when they do the whole spitting on cock or vag – even if it’s for the functional purpose of lube. I use spit as lube, but I’m not about to literally let my spit dribble out of my mouth for the purpose. I’m not a fan of ball gags solely because of the idea of drool. Just not a big fan of spit.

But cum, that’s a whole other game. I like just about everything about cum. And while I’m not a fan of the taste of cum after it’s had a chance to cool (which happens really fast…), I’d be much more comfortable with that.

Had a cute moment when Kaeidyn saw these questions:

Session #4 - #Q3: Would you rather... spit out cum or swallow cum? - #WTMFIWednesdays
#Q3: Would you rather… spit out cum or swallow cum?

#A3:

Absolutely swallow cum.

From a very young age, even before I actually started giving blowjobs, I have always thought that if you get it in your mouth, you might as well swallow it. Also, refer to question 2 – the longer cum sits, the quicker it gets cold and cold cum is not good cum. And another thing, I’d have to like regurgitate cum from my throat to be able to spit it out, it’s normally so far back there that there is no point in spitting it out. Plus, it’s good for me, so why would I spit it out?!?

Session #4 - #Q4: Would you rather... vagina-to-anus sex or anus-to-vagina sex? - #WTMFIWednesdays
#Q4: Would you rather… vagina-to-anus sex or anus-to-vagina sex?

#A4:

I would rather no anal sex.

But, purely for health/hygiene reasons, vagina-to-anus.

Session #4 - #Q5: Would you rather... squirting or non-squirting orgasms? - #WTMFIWednesdays
#Q5: Would you rather… squirting or non-squirting orgasms?

#A5:

First things first, I’m happy with any kind of orgasm. However, it has always been on my list to have a squirting orgasm. Never had one before, but I don’t know if I’d want it to be an every time thing either. Squirting for special occasions or certain types of sex or something.

Session #4 - #BONUS: Would you rather... be caught masturbating or giving oral sex? - #WTMFIWednesdays
#BONUS: Would you rather… be caught masturbating or giving oral sex?

#BONUS:

I think I would rather be caught masturbating. I’ve actually been thinking about this question for a few days, trying to picture it in my head. And I keep thinking, probably masturbating. I can’t exactly pinpoint why I’d rather be caught masturbating than giving oral sex, but probably mostly because then I’d only have to worry about my own embarrassment and not my partners. It also feels less intimate to me and it’s easier to play off like you weren’t doing anything.

It’s funny though, because if you had asked if I’d rather be watched masturbating or giving oral sex, where like all parties were consenting to this experience, I’d have picked giving oral sex over masturbating any day!!!


View Session #4 of WTMFI Wednesdays


#WTMFIWednesdays - Session #3 Cover Photo

#WTMFIWednesdays: Session #3 – Masturbation


WTMFI (Way Too Much F***ing Information) Wednesdays

WTMFI (Way Too Much F***ing Information) Wednesdays

A weekly sex meme arousing discussions on sexuality


The Rules


  •   Write a post answering as many of the questions as you’d like
  •   Add one of the WTMFI Wednesdays Badges
  •   Tag your post #WTMFIWednesdays
  •   Link up with us by adding your link to the original post
  •   Share your posts using our hashtag #WTMFIWednesdays

The Questions & My Answers


Question 1:
What was your first time masturbating like?

I don’t know if I remember my very first time. I remember two of the very first times, but I can’t be sure that they were the very first – just the first ones that I remember.

One time was with my favorite stuffed toy, that became just about my most favorite pervertible ever. It had a nice hard nose that felt so good to grind against. The next time, I was supposed to be laying down for a nap, but couldn’t sleep, so grinded against my fingers and the mattress.

Question 2:
When and how often do you typically masturbate?

I go through phases. Sometimes, I’m masturbating constantly – multiple times a day for days on end. Other times, I can go weeks without even thinking about it. 

Generally, I get bitchy if I don’t orgasm every three days, so I am to either have sex or masturbate that often.

Question 3:
Who, if anyone, do you typically fantasize about when you masturbate?

Almost always, I fantasize about The Boyfriend. 

When I fantasize about other people, which normally only happens in the context of threesomes or group sex with The Boyfriend, other guys typically are faceless versions of The Boyfriend. He really does have my favorite type of body to fantasize about! If there’s a girl there, which sometimes happens, she’s basically a faceless version of me. 

I almost never see faces when I’m fantasizing. Lips up-close, sometimes. But never a full-out face.

Question 4:
Where do you typically masturbate? Describe the setting.

So, there’s basically three spots that I like to masturbate in. 

The first, and probably most used, is the bathtub. I can lock the door and that’s probably the biggest reason I like it. Our bathroom right now is pretty small and the bathtub is pretty small and you can almost never get a full bath of hot water, but again, it locks.

The next is my bedroom. It’s a really boring bedroom. I’m not one for decorating, so there’s literally a mattress on the floor. But I have just about the best comforter in the world and it’s a comfy place to do pretty much anything sexual.

Finally, on the couch, in front of the computer. It doesn’t happen often here, but if I’m having one of those super horny streaks, the couch in the living room gets used a lot more than I’d like to admit!

Question 5:
How do you typically masturbate?

I’ve been masturbating the same way for a really long time now. It’s what works best for me. It’s always right hand, three fingers (pointer, middle and ring), firmly on my clit with periodic dips into my vag for lubrication. Sometimes, especially if I’m having a hard time getting there, I’ll use my left hand to pull everything taut or push/pull things to the perfect spot. 

BONUS:
Are there any reasons, other than arousal, that you masturbate?

Definitely, although I think it normally always turns into arousal. It can be started to relieve stress or headaches, if I’m feeling incredibly bored and lonely or if I’m just having a hard time feeling sexy in my skin. Sometimes, if I’m having bad insomnia, I’ll use it as a way to put myself to sleep – although that normally results in having to go 3 or 4 times, which works, but is exhausting!!!


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#WTMFIWednesdays - Session #2 Cover Photo

#WTMFIWednesdays: Session #2 – I Touch Myself


WTMFI (Way Too Much F***ing Information) Wednesdays

WTMFI (Way Too Much F***ing Information) Wednesdays

A weekly sex meme arousing discussions on sexuality


The Rules


  •   Write a post answering as many of the questions as you’d like
  •   Add one of the WTMFI Wednesdays Badges
  •   Tag your post #WTMFIWednesdays
  •   Link up with us by adding your link to the original post
  •   Share your posts using our hashtag #WTMFIWednesdays

The Questions & My Answers


Question 1:
Have you ever masturbated in front of someone else?

Regularly! 

A lot of times after the actual sexual intercourse and after The Boyfriend’s orgasm, I like to masturbate to have normally my second orgasm – to just kind of close out the night.

Question 2:
Have you ever masturbated in a room full of people?

No, but it is absolutely a fantasy and on my list of things to do. As a bit of an exhibitionist, I’ve always wanted to do all sorts of sexual things surrounded by people – watching and enjoying me doing what I do 😉

Question 3:
Have you ever masturbated at work?

I never have, but probably mostly because I haven’t worked in a really really long time.

Would I do this? Probably. 

Question 4:
Have you ever masturbated using an object that wasn’t intended for that purpose?

Absolutely!

For a long time, I didn’t have access to sex toys – especially as an exploring teenager. So, stuffed puppy dogs were a favorite for a long time. Hairbrush handles were a short-lived obsession. I went through a phase where I would only use pervertibles because I didn’t think my pleasure should cost me anything or involve me going out of my way or above and beyond.

Question 5:
Have you ever masturbated enough to cause yourself injury, no matter how small?

Yes… Unfortunately, I have done this a few times. Normally, really small “injuries”. Nicks from a nail, almost like chaffing from going for too long and too hard, a soreness feeling near my perineum from tugging too much on the area I had stitches. Luckily, nothing serious!

BONUS:
Have you ever masturbated to porn that didn’t turn you on?

No, I’m pretty picky about porn. And I will turn it off the second there is something that I don’t like or that doesn’t turn me on or that doesn’t intrigue me in some way. 


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#WTMFIWednesdays - Session #1 Cover Photo

#WTMFIWednesdays: Session #1 – The First Time


WTMFI (Way Too Much F***ing Information) Wednesdays

WTMFI (Way Too Much F***ing Information) Wednesdays

A weekly sex meme arousing discussions on sexuality


The Rules


  •   Write a post answering as many of the questions as you’d like
  •   Add one of the WTMFI Wednesdays Badges
  •   Tag your post #WTMFIWednesdays
  •   Link up with us by adding your link to the original post
  •   Share your posts using our hashtag #WTMFIWednesdays

The Questions & My Answers


Question 1:
What was your first time kissing like?

My first time kissing happened on New Years’ back in 2000 into 2001. It was with my very first boyfriend. We had been dating for quite awhile by this point and my Mom, in her New Years’ Eve drunkenness, insisted that I had to kiss him that night. I was glad she did, because honestly, I was super scared to have my first kiss. It felt like a really serious move to me.

I remember thinking at the time that it was the best thing I had ever experienced. Even though our little trailer was filled with about thirty people and music was blaring and dogs were barking and everyone except us was drunk, the whole world just kinda stood still for us to have a great intimate moment. I don’t think we ever had another kiss like that with each other.

Question 2:
Did you orgasm the first time you masturbated?

The first time that I can remember masturbating, I had discovered the hard nose of one of my stuffed toy dogs. It was not the type of orgasm I know now, it was more of a quick shudder. I remember becoming absolutely obsessed with that dog until the day that I discovered that water coming from the tap in the bathtub…

Question 3:
What was it like giving oral sex the first time?

So, again with the same first boyfriend mentioned above. We used to go to his Dad’s house about once a month for a big dinner. It was usually food that I hated, but we got to spend quite a lot of time alone there. I remember that the movie Black Sheep was playing in the background. He kept insisting I needed to watch this movie, but we were both far too distracted. I still couldn’t tell you what that movie is about…

I remember thinking that I was exceptionally skilled at it – probably why I’m still so cocky about it today. It just felt very natural and comfortable and right. I immediately knew that I would want to do that again!

Question 4:
Did you think you were good or bad at sex the first time?

Our first time having sex, again with the same boyfriend in all my other firsts, was generally awkward.

It was at a party. Everyone in attendance knew the plan was for us to have sex that night. Everyone was basically cheering us on. My sister had brought along a huge pack of condoms. Again, everyone except us was drinking.

There were a lot of interruptions. Almost as soon as I got my shirt off, my sister barged in and snapped pictures of us (which my Mom later developed and this is how she got confirmation that we had had sex – I had told her ahead of time that it was going to happen). During some pretty intense foreplay, a drunk girl stumbled in insisting I was Crystal. Needless to say, it was hours upon hours upon hours before we finally got down to it.

It was awkward and funny, but I definitely didn’t think I was bad at it. I thought that practice would make us better 😉

Question 5:
What was your first time falling in love like?

Crazy…

We were together for about 2 years, give or take. And I fell really hard. It took me a really long time to get over him. We were both incredibly passionate people – not just in terms of loving each other, but about everything. So, our love was kinda crazy. It was tumultuous.

BONUS:
How do you feel now about your first sexual experiences?

I’ve always felt really good about my first sexual experiences. They happened exactly as I wanted them to at the time, and I don’t think I ever felt uncomfortable about a single one of them.

I was with someone who loved me and whom I loved. We both respected each other and each other’s bodies. Although our first sexperiences weren’t overly romantic and weren’t made out to be these “special moments”, they were perfect and there was no pressure and I think they gave me a really great foundation for my future sexplorations.


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The Rantings - For Adults 18+

Why I Posted Videos on Pornhub

After promoting my Pornhub profile on Google+, a very close follower asked why The Boyfriend and I chose to begin adding videos to the site as part of our sexperiences.

I decided to share my answer and expand on some thoughts with everyone.


The first time I ever remember watching porn was a video entitled something like “Anal Explorations” or something of that sort. I vividly remember ejecting the VHS from the VCR and thinking, “I want to do that!!!“. Not only does my desire to be a total anal whore mostly stem from this experience, but I thought there could be no better job in the world than getting to make these types of films. I don’t know why, 11 or 12-year-old me was attracted to it.

And it wasn’t just a one-time thought. It’s a thought, been a thought, every time I watch an amazing porn or every time I watch a documentary about the porn industry or every time I research a new favorite pornstar. It’s something that follows me, almost haunts me – or at least it did.

Since I turned 14, I’ve been in a series of long-term monogamous relationships with guys who don’t like to share at all (save for the threesomes with Alfie). Mostly possessive, jealous, “you’re mine” types. Plus, I had babies really young and body image issues and the list really goes on of things that have held it back prior to know. Otherwise, you probably would’ve seen my name on Pornhub when I turned 18!

And let’s be real, it’s not like I’m really new to the world of porn. Just this medium…

I never expected that The Boyfriend and I would ever discuss the concept of uploading videos to Pornhub. It was never something that was on my radar. And up until very recently, I didn’t even know that it was an option. However, it’s not necessarily my first jaunt into the world of porn.

The first time I had sex, there was a picture taken – not in some pornographic way, but in some drunk teenage party way. Every boyfriend I’ve ever had has gotten sexy images. And, I began uploading photos when FetLife became a thing. And we’ve been making home movies for our own personal use for years now!!! And let’s not forget that I write some incredibly graphic details about a large majority of mine and The Boyfriend’s sexperiences already!

“Sharing my sexuality – it’s just what I do!”

To me, it is no different than writing about our sexperiences or sharing pictures from my sexperiences. The only difference is the medium.

Honestly, it was a spur of the moment decision. It wasn’t some laid out plan that had a lot of thought behind it. I don’t even know if we consciously decided to upload more than one. We were both feeling aroused by our stint of exhibitionism and wanted to keep that feeling going is the best I can come up with. And what better way than to upload a video to tube site!

So… Why? Really, the simplest answer is: We felt like it… We wanted to… And we could 😉

This post is intended for adults 18+

Wake Up Sex

Every night when we lay down to go to sleep together, he puts his hand on my hip or wraps it around my waist. Most of the time, I can feel his fingers mindlessly tracing back and forth as he drifts off to sleep and slowly his fingers go limper and limper until his hand is flatly and comfortably resting.

This particular night, he wrapped his hand about me as usual. His fingers did their limp to flat resting as usual. But instead of putting me to sleep, as it usually does, I could feel myself becoming more and more aroused. His hand rested right below my breast and his finger kept twitching in a way that would just nick my nipple and I’d find myself holding my breath in anticipation for the next twitch.

I sleep with one hand between my legs, warmed by my thighs. I could feel the heat of my arousal permeate down to my hand and I felt the urge to travel upwards. I could tell he was getting closer and closer to being entirely asleep because he was breathing heavier and his hand moved far less. I laid next to him, on our sides, gently rubbing my clit through my pants. I lifted my leg slightly to give myself more room and he took it as the signal to move over. He rolled onto his back and I rolled onto mine and I looked over at him, now more deeply asleep and imagined waking him up with sex.

My whole body loved the idea so much and sweat formed on my brow as I reached beneath my pants. We’ve both talked often about doing this to one another and will often go to sleep saying something like, “And if you wake me up with sex, that’s okay!” and he’s been able to wake me up many time with sex, but I have never had the opportunity. He’s never been sleeping the right way for me to even attempt to do it. And it’s not waking a person up with sex when you say, “Hey, wake up for sex!” – or at least, not in the context that we wanted to be woken up.

I thought about him laying on his back. I watched his chest rise and fall. I wondered if he was dreaming. My curiosity turned to fantasizing and I found myself reaching my fingers out to him. This was my opportunity!

I slowly slid my hand over to him and down his pants. His arm moved and I retracted my hand, not sure if I felt confident enough to be caught. Even though we had said this was okay to do, I wasn’t sure if I wanted to wake him up. But when he settled, I couldn’t resist going in once more.

His cock laid limply on his leg and I lifted it into my palm and gave a gentle squeeze. He moved his legs and I could tell it was because his balls were catching on his thigh. I gave a soft tug and he eased back to sleep. His cock grew slightly and then shrunk back down and I continued to stroke him gently as my other hand played with my clit. As he began to harden, he reached down to rub away the annoying sensation he was feeling in his sleep and I moved my hand away to let him do his thing. He adjusted himself, tossing from side to side a few times as he moved an arm up behind his head. I watched him intently, trying to hold my shaky breath, watching what he might do next. He let out a loud sigh and then returned to his sleep breathing.

I reached back down and his cock was still hard. He had moved just enough so that I could get a really great grip on him and I gave a few quick strokes. I watched him so closely to see if he would react and as I loosened my grip, he turned and looked at me through sleepy eyes. I smiled and he pulled off his pants in one swift motion. I stroked him a few more times as I tried to figure out what to do next, when I swear I heard my vagina scream at me, “Mount him!“.

I quickly crawled on top of him and I was so wet that he slid in with absolute ease. My legs clutched tightly around his hips and my fingers dug into his chest. I sat still on him for a few minutes as I adjusted to the sensation I had so desperately been longing to feel and he watched my face intently to see the slightest reactions. When I leaned forward to kiss him, he wrapped his arms about me and pulled me in close to him.

I began lifting my hips up and very slowly lowering them onto him and he pulled away, not wanting to cum almost immediately after penetration. The slower thrusting always sends him into orgasm territory, so I pushed my breasts into his face and vigorously bounced up and down on him, my hands pushing hard into his chest as he frantically licked and sucked on my nipples.

When he moved his hands down around my ass, it was too much for me and I squeezed tightly with my thighs as a solid wave of orgasm rolled over me. I gripped tightly at anything I could grab and when his hand went up into my hair and pulled it back, I knew he was preparing to orgasm.

With one hand on my ass pushing me down onto his cock and another hand in my hair pulling me upright, he absolutely devoured the view of my bouncing breasts as he quickly thrusted in and out of me. Three deep hard thrusts was the signal that he was orgasming and when he collapsed on the bed, I collapsed on top of him.

Even though we were soaked in sweat, he wrapped his arms around me and held me tight as we both caught our breath. I rolled off of him and laid on my back beside him, “Now, go back to sleep!“, I said with a wide smile and he reached out his arm to pull my head onto his chest. I don’t think it took even two seconds for him to fall back to sleep and I didn’t take long to follow his lead.

This post is intended for adults 18+

Back to Authenticity

Ever since my serious bout of depression, I’ve been a person who spends a lot of time analyzing my emotions or problems or symptoms, until I can understand their source. I don’t think I was ever taught this particular tool in any of the counselling I had ever been through – usually the focus was on eliminating the worry entirely from the get-go, like the common “worry about it later” strategy. I find the whole method flawed because eventually, I have to let myself worry and then what do I do with that?

So, I decided to spend some time with my worry. Really get to know it. Get to know it so well that it can’t hurt me anymore. I’ve figured out all the possible scenarios, from the good to the absolute worst, so there’s no surprises (though I’m not saying, in anyway, that I don’t come out of it surprised every time!). And while the whole process of worry is probably the worst part of my day-to-day struggle, because I tend to worry about the stupidest things, and while the analyzing only helps to a degree on comfort levels, it’s my process.

So, for weeks now, I’ve been dealing with this lowered sex drive issue. I’ve spent more than a few hours of almost every day contemplating the source of the change. I’ve tried writing so many posts about this, especially through the last few sexperiences, and I just keep getting completely stuck because I haven’t figured it out yet. I haven’t figured out what happened, what changed, or what’s causing it.

The first few days, my theory was one of two things: (1) It burnt out. My sex drive had been in overdrive for so long, I had been so wanting and so desperate for so long, that my body and mind needed a physical break and so I burnt out or (2) It faded away. For even longer than I’ve been blogging, I’ve been talking about a strong desire to have kinky sex and my inability to receive it. I’ve blogged about my complacency towards my “authentic sexual self” on many occasions. I had been so neglectful and so disappointed so many times, that my soul said no and the drive faded away – since it decided it wasn’t being used anyways…

Last night, I was browsing through my Tumblr. And it occurred to me, as it usually does anytime I’m viewing any type of porn, that it’s almost impossible to find stuff that doesn’t involve anal sex in the mainstream easy-to-access porn world. And as you all know, because I talk about it all the time, I’ve always desperately wanted to be an anal whore but the reality is that I don’t really like anal sex very much. I find it to be an uncomfortable experience, both physically and mentally, and I can count the number of times I’ve successfully had anal sex on one hand. As I scrolled through at least a hundred pictures of girls taking it in the ass like champs, it occurred to me that my “authentic sexual self” does not include anal sex.

If I’m being truly honest with myself, the mere fact that The Boyfriend has been able to sustain my interest via his interest for so long, is a serious shock. I have a rule – try everything thricely – and once that’s done and you’ve decided you don’t like it, abandon it. Well, I did my three times, I did more than my three times. Trying to force myself to stay interested in anal sex is keeping me further and further away from being my “authentic sexual self“, especially being that I’m not getting any of the “taboo” things that I want. I’m giving and not receiving and that is not in alignment with authenticity!

Yesterday, The Boyfriend spent the whole day talking about how he has intended to have morning sex and various things have held it back, mostly the fact that I’ve been wearing pants for the last few days. So, he hinted heavily that I should ensure that I made it easy for him and that I did. When he crawled into bed this morning, I felt uninterested. Highly uninterested and half-hoped that he would just fall asleep. I’ve never experienced that before. Although, I’ll have to say that I’m glad that he didn’t!

When he first touched me, I didn’t feel anything anywhere, except for comfort at his touch. No arousal. When he reached between my legs, I was absolutely flabbergasted that I was wet, because I had felt like I was completely un-aroused and dry. The sex was amazing, even as I was half asleep and he was exhausted, the morning spooning is always a great time. We slept for many hours after that wrapped up in each other’s arms and it was a wonderful way to end/start the day (depending on whose perspective you were viewing the day from).

I went for a drive with my Mom this afternoon and sat staring out the window, contemplating. I came home and woke The Boyfriend up and sat, contemplating. Then, a thought came to me. It’s as if my mind and vagina are not communicating at all right now. When I’m aroused mentally, my brain isn’t sending that signal to my vagina. And when my vagina is soaking with arousal, it’s not sending the aroused signal to my brain. It’s as if I’ve disconnected the two organs – where they used to work in tandem and now they’re working separately.

I thought back on the last few sexperiences and how I struggled to describe the type of disconnectedness I felt through the whole thing, even though The Boyfriend was working as hard as he ever does and even though it was enjoyable sex, I just felt so disconnected from the experience of it. And maybe it’s this huge combination of all these things.

Maybe I’ve been too complacent about becoming my “authentic sexual self” and maybe that has caused a major change in the way my brain and genitals communicate. Maybe to correct the situation, I need to re-discover who I am sexually and what my sexuality means. I mean, you do have to take into consideration that sometime ago, I went from defining myself as being “bi-curious” to now defining as “unsure” across the sexual board. Maybe it’s time to be un-unsure!

The Rantings - For Adults 18+

No Expectations = Good

It was such an odd night last night. The Boyfriend was on his night off from work, we had gotten rid of two out of four of the kids (and all of the ones that hate how loud we can get), and all of this seemed to over-excite him. Normally, his desire makes me desire, but I just wasn’t feeling it at all last night – although I wasn’t about to turn him down.

I was completely weirded out by my lack of interest. Usually, he runs the tip of that one finger up my inner thigh and I’m shivering in anticipation. Last night, I really could’ve taken or left it. So, when he undid his belt and whipped off his pants as I was lounging on the couch, I was not even close to ready for penetration. When he roughly entered my less lubricated nether region, I clawed at him and gasped. Naturally, I became wetter and wetter, but my head still wasn’t in it. I was just going through the actions.

Wasn’t Expecting That!

He came quicker than I was expecting. Honestly, I wasn’t expecting him to cum at all, but he did. He was gentle and sweet as he helped clean me up and got me back into comfiness on the couch. Then we both went back to doing our things, me on my computer and him on his games. We ended up staying up a good two hours later than we were expecting to and I was sure that he would pass out the moment his head hit the pillow.

Again, my brain just wasn’t in the game. He was not ready for sleep but was immediately ready for his round two. He rolled me onto my side and began quickly pounding me and I gripped at the sheets, begging my pussy to just get wet. He rolled me onto my back and flung my legs up around his shoulders and the deepness of him sent my hands to his hair where I pulled hard until his head was all the way back. “Let me up!“, I winced and he hastily rose off me.

I went and got a drink, went to the bathroom and checked to make sure there were no reasons why I wasn’t getting as lubricated as I normally do. All was good, so I went back upstairs worrying about my level of desire. I laid down next to The Boyfriend, even though he was anticipating being mounted, and he rolled to caress my legs. He asked, his voice soft and smooth, “Do you wanna roll onto your stomach?” and I nodded and rolled as he worked himself behind me.

Didn’t Expect That!

My fingers went to work on my clit, and I lazily wriggled my hands between my legs. Even though I didn’t feel it, he whispered into my ear, “You’re so wet!“. He slid out of me precisely a moment later and as he thrust forward my hand was smothered in the slick liquid. Just as easily as he had slid out, he slid back in and I sighed audibly with relief, my fingers now working with more effort towards their goal.

His hands suddenly felt so rough on my back and ass, moving back and forth in various configurations, pushing down here and there. I buried my face in my pillow as he grabbed one ass cheek hard on with one hand and my opposite shoulder blade with the other hand, half pulling me back, half pushing me down – the fabric barely muffling the moans as they escaped with each thrust. He kept trying to kiss my neck or my cheeks, but my hair kept getting in the way, or I’d move just as his lips got near.

Both hands gripped at my ass and as he pulled, his cock slid out between my cheeks. I thought for sure he was going to try for anal, especially being there was now an abundance of natural lubrication. Instead, he pushed my cheeks together and sensually ran himself between them and I quivered and cooed beneath him. When he pulled my cheeks apart again, he slid right back into my waiting pussy and held my flesh tightly between his clenched fists.

Kinda Expected That…

A few thrusts later, I pushed back onto him roughly as my orgasm rippled through my chest and as it reached my ribs, he thrust hard and deep and unloaded himself, the shockwaves lashing through him until he collapsed onto my back, breathing heavy with exhaustion. My orgasm had stopped at his first shot and felt tight in my whole abdomen. All I could think about was releasing that feeling.

I began to roll and he rolled off of me and I immediately went to work on my clit. He half dozed off/half caressed my inner thighs or sporadically tweaked my nipple, and eventually I turned my head away and closed my eyes doing everything I could to tune everything else, save for the sensations circling my clit, out. I struggled and I remember wanting to give up as a cramp nestled into my masturbating arm and my boob kept sticking to the sweat on my non-masturbating arm. But the feeling in my gut kept me going and going and going.

I felt it coming for what felt like forever and The Boyfriend must’ve too, because he seemed to completely wake up and his hands gently ran up and down my legs, tugging every so often. The tip of his finger slid across that area where thigh meets vulva, and my whole body froze for a second before quaking through an orgasm that left my whole body tight. I collapsed back from the almost ball-like state I had convulsed into and panted through the remaining twitches, suddenly realizing how utterly exhausted I felt.

Lesson Learnt: No Expectations = Good

He curled up nice and tight next to me, keeping me as warm as he could with his arms on my breasts. I put my cold toes against his calves and it was mere moments before we were both dead to the world asleep. It was a much shorter sleep than we were expecting to get, by a lot, but it was a really deep sleep and we were both surprised at how well we’ve functioned today. He’s already talking about more sex tonight and what he has in store for me – even his humor is dirtier than usual. At least my brain’s a little more in the game tonight 😉

#FridayFavorites - For Everyone

#FridayFavorites: For the Week of August 21 – 28

Ever wanted to be able to see what I’m up to all over the web without actually having to go all over the web? Well, now you can with #FridayFavorites. Join me every Friday to see my favorite finds and posts over the last week.

Favorite Google+ Update

Sometimes, it’s just there. On your mind. And you can’t simply ignore it. Sometimes, it’s not that simple. It won’t shut off…

Circle Me on Google+

Favorite Tweet

There’s been a lot of going through old blog posts lately and the walks down memory lane have been quite exciting and a little hilarious!

Follow Me on Twitter

Favorite Pinterest Board

Last week, I shared some of the beautiful buildings I’ve collected on Pinterest. This week, some of the spaces that I’d like to see within those buildings!

Follow Valerie’s board Spaces to Die For on Pinterest.

Follow Me on Pinterest

Favorite Tumblr Find

Everything you find on my Tumblr will be absolutely NSFW and totally intended for adults only! But here’s my favorite PG-13 find from this week and be sure to check out my upcoming #TumblrFavorites post.


View on Tumblr

Follow My Tumblr

Favorite Facebook Update

Tons of polls lately in The Erotic Writers Group Community on Google+, and I found the stats to be really interesting!

Like Me on Facebook

Favorite Posts

In case you might’ve missed them over the last little while, here’s my favorite posts from around here over the last week…

Follow My Blog

Favorite YouTube Video

Not only are these two hilarious in almost every single show I’ve ever seen them in, they are also incredible at making hilarious songs. I appreciated this one a lot!

Subscribe to My Channel

Well, that’s my #FridayFavorites.

I encourage you to follow me wherever you are and if you have favorites that are different than mine, let me know what you loved in the comments below! And be sure to join me next Friday for another installment of #FridayFavorites – what will I find?

The Rantings - For Adults 18+

Seven Years of #Sexperiences

One of the many wonderful things about being a blog-a-holic is that I can take a walk down memory lane any time I want. I can go through the years of my life and read about them as an outsider to the experience. I can remember the details vividly because I described them vividly and I can relive the best and worst parts of my life. Obviously, I really like the bests!

I didn’t always write about my sex life. For a long time, I felt like I needed to keep it separate from all the other parts of my myself. But over a short period of time, I realized that so much of myself is my sex and my sex life. I quickly went from writing only about my life experiences, to also writing about my sex experiences – which I like to call my sexperiences.

The Boyfriend and I celebrated our seven year anniversary back in July. In that seven years, I have had four different blogs (that’s including this one) that have shared some of our most memorable sexperiences. Today, I wanted to take a walk down memory lane with you and share some of my favorites from the previous three.!

From The Rantings of a Tortured Mind – XXX Edition (2010)

The Boyfriend and I had been dating for quite awhile already when I officially got back to blogging after my breakup with Alfie. I started blogging about The Boyfriend and I’s sexperiences in 2010 when I began writing The Rantings of a Tortured Mind – XXX Edition. These were some of our most experimental years, when kink was something that we were actively exploring.

  • Orgasms and Floggers

    March 2010

    “It was obvious that he wasn’t as comfortable with the legs as he was with my ass, as he very gently hit my legs. He moved back to my ass and began doing a figure eight again, this time much harder and much faster. The harder and faster he went, the harder and faster I played with myself. Until finally, after probably close to half an hour of flogging, my muscles all contracted, my back arched and I experienced an incredible orgasm.”

     

  • From His Lips

    May 2010

    “I don’t want to start this post with “Last night…”, but I can’t seem to find any other way that seems appropriate for what I’m about to go into. So, last night… What was that movie from the 90’s with Kirsten Dunst? Crazy Beautiful, was it? That was what my experience was last night.”

  • YAY for Orgasms

    June 2010

    “Somehow, for the first time in a seriously long time, The Boyfriend and I managed to get away with having sex twice yesterday. Once in the early evening, when all the kids were down in their rooms and again late at night. And for the first time ever, I orgasmed three times!!!”

From Valerie Rayne Rants (2010 – 2013)

This blog was written during a very difficult time in The Boyfriend and I’s sex life. I was desperately wanting kink and he was drifting further and further away from kink. Many of the posts during these years are filled with frustration and questioning, complaining and confusion. But the sex was still mind-boggling, my favorite word to describe our sex during this time.

  • Sexy Dancing and Hopeful Conversations and The Last Post Continued

    July 2012

    “Imagine my absolute delight when he said all this. I told him that what he just described incorporates so much of what I want. Rewards for good (sexual) deeds, anal training and impact play. And all I have to do is have anal every once and awhile. Sounds like a good freaking deal to me!”

    “I needed to be able to focus on the sex and in that moment all I could think was, “Did he really just call me a dirty whore?!?!?”. I was in ecstasy, but still not cumming. I asked if I could roll over while he fucked me from behind and he responded, “Only if you’re going to be a good girl and cum on my cock” to which I promised that I would try.”

  • Woo! That Was Good 😉

    October 2012

    “I was too close to the edge of orgasm for that to be it for me, so I just kept playing until I eventually came. My muscles have never felt so on fire after a sex session of any kind. I felt like they were ripping in my abs and tearing in my arms. We fell asleep and I was pleased with the fact that I had had two orgasms and he had had none.”

  • We Were Primal

    December 2012″

    By this point, every one of our inhibitions had completely disappeared. We were primal. I half-moaned, half-growled at him, “I want you to break my pussy with your huge cock!”. This whole concept, his huge cock and breaking my pussy, really got to us both and you could tell by the change in our demeanor.”

  • Caressing and Words

    January 2013

    “I don’t know what it is about talking during sex that I find so insanely sexy. I am currently under the opinion that he could say anything to me during sex, even something entirely unrelated and un-sexy, and it would still make me go wild!”

From The Rantings of a Tortured Mind – Valerie Rayne Rants (2014 – 2015)

After years of coming from a place of frustration, I finally let go of what I wanted and felt like I needed. Although I’m still a total wannabe kinkster, I think about it less and bring it up less. Instead, it often happens when I least expect it and we seem to hone our sexual communication skills and it shows in this blog.

  • Your Safeword is Bananas

    December 2014

    “He turns so that he can see the clock and he’s watching the minutes tick by as he continues to thrust. I’m still trying to figure out exactly what he’s got planned, when he suddenly pulls back and roughly turns me over. His hand pushes down on my upper back and he says firmly, “Your safeword is bananas”, and I melted beneath him.”

  • I Fought and He Fought Back

    February 2015

    “He bounced my legs up until my thighs were resting on his arms and grabbed my arms and pinned them down to the bed as he thrust himself so deep into me that I immediately began fighting against him. But he just re-positioned his grip and slammed into me again. I kicked out my legs, I thrashed my arms, I pushed against him as hard as I could and while I succeeded in pushing him back, he was quickly back on top of me, holding down my arms and kissing me as hard as he could. I fought and he fought back.”

  • We Sexted!!!

    April 2015

    “I love how, even after seven years of being together, The Boyfriend can still leave my mouth gaping in shock. I love how, even after a thousand and one sexual encounters, we can still have ones that just absolutely blows my mind.”

  • Restrained and Released

    May 2015

    “Almost immediately, he was putting the restraints to use. He laid me on my back and roughly grabbed my left leg, yanking it up above my head and securing the velcro on the first strap. Then, he gently lifted my right leg and kissed my ankles as he strapped the next restraint onto me. I told him that he could tighten it by pulling “this” strap, I signaled with my chin. He smiled and pulled on the straps, my feet now touching the wall behind my head.”

There you have it, some of my favorite sexperiences that I’ve captured during The Boyfriend and I’s time together. As he said to me the morning of our anniversary, “Here’s to an amazing seven years. I can’t wait for the next seven!”, and neither can I. It’s been mind-boggling 😉

The Rantings - For Adults 18+

The Elusive Third

For probably the first time in our relationship, The Boyfriend’s sex drive is way more active than mine is being, and it has been one of the most pleasant twists. Over the last two weeks, the sex has been incredible.

I’m working on a post about the holiday sex, but today, I want to talk about last night’s sex – because it was mind-blowing! I cannot get over the fact that seven years into it and we’re still finding new things to discover and explore. I think every time we have another first, we fall in love just a little bit more.

He had spent the entire day focused on sex it seemed. I mean, he went about doing a lot of other things but every once and awhile, he’d say something or just look over in a certain way, and you knew that he was thinking of nothing else but what he was going to get to do that evening. Once the kids were all in their rooms, it became a lot less subtle as fingers roamed freely every time a new idea popped into his head.

He was in a very instructive mood, even before the sex began. He grabbed out a dress and stated, “You’ll be wearing this after you get out of your bath!“, and a huge grin swept it’s way across my face. So, I went for a nice long bath and tried to read, but he kept coming up and distracting me with stolen kisses and rough fingers in wet places.

I sat on the couch after the bath, red from the heat and slightly draped by a towel, moisturizing my legs. Even though he was in the middle of video gaming, he couldn’t help but suddenly be completely drawn into the legs – he has a thing for them. Abruptly, he dives between my legs and begins some of the best oral sex I’ve ever been given. Hands all over my thighs, still slick with the moisturizer and tongue and lips working in the most incredible rhythm that had my hands vigorously latched onto the curls of his hair.

He’d walk away and go back to games, leaving me panting on the couch. I’d calm down and go back to moisturizing the next part of my body, and he’d suddenly dive back between my legs and this went on for a good hour. He had come and sat down next to me, and his hands were everywhere as he kissed me deeply. When they finally reached my clit, it seemed like mere moments before I was whispering, “If you keep that up, you’re going to make me cum!” and he smiled back, “Good!“. As soon as he said the first consonant, my body tightened and he pulled me in for a tight hug and long kiss as the waves of my first orgasm crashed over me. “That’s the first!“, he said.

We had agreed we weren’t ready for more sex yet. It was still too early. So, we decided to put on a movie. The idea was to watch it just long enough until we headed upstairs, but My Awkward Sexual Adventure on Netflix ended up being a pretty great movie, so we watched it dedicatedly, with only a few little rubs and grabs here and there.

The second the credits finished rolling, we rushed to get upstairs. I had laid on my stomach before he got into the room and something about this was the best idea ever. He enjoyed that my dress appeared to be see-through (which would make sense, since it’s a really old dress), and crawled on top of me and rubbed my back and ass through the fabric. I had remembered that the last time I wore the dress, I had found a couple unfortunately placed holes, so I was planning on throwing it out. I told The Boyfriend about the holes, and his excitement level went from almost nothing to thrilled!

Immediately he began searching for any holes he could find, planning how he might begin ripping me out of this dress. When he reached his fingers inside the first tiny hole and began to tear, we both gasped taking pleasure in the sound of it. His hand reached inside the hole and his hands, one on my skin and one on my fabric, made me shiver in delight. He ripped another hole and then another hole. His cock was so hard as he slid into one of the holes and directly between my legs, where I was much wetter than I thought I would be.

He teased as he gently kissed my shoulders, his hands exploring my sides and reaching around to feel the curve of the underside of my breast. He whispered in my ear as he laid soft kisses on the lobe, “From right now, you’re going to do everything that I say, okay?” and I cheekily replied, “Yes, Sir!” and we both grinned wildly. He lifted off of me and began ripping the dress more. He pulled hard until the three holes he had previously made larger became one large hole. He admired his work for a moment before continuing on and ripping the dress all the way around to the front, turning my ankle-length tank-top dress into a butt-length smock.

He flipped me over onto my back to remove the bottom part of the torn dress, and carelessly penetrated me as he continued ripping up the bottom into smaller pieces. After he had a few pieces ripped off, he told me to sit up and moved away from me. I sat cross-legged and he moved behind me. Without a word, he placed a piece of the ripped dress over my eyes and tied it tightly behind my head. He breathed into my ear, “Are you okay?” and I said, “Yes“. “Good! Well then, get on your hands and knees!” and I asked, “Facing which way?” and he said, “Window” and I shakily moved to the right spot.

He let out the slightest moan and I smiled. He grabbed my feet and put them together and then grabbed another piece of the dress and tightened my ankles together. I could feel him moving closer to me, could feel the heat of him, but when his lips took in my dangling nipples – well, I hadn’t expected that at all. I jumped away from him and feeling suddenly disoriented, “Did you turn the lights off?“. “Nope, you okay?“, he asked concerned, as his hands continued touching me in ways that I felt unable to anticipate.

He grabbed my arms and lifted them up behind me and playfully pushed my head into the pillow. He wrapped another piece of dress around my wrists and tied them together. I could feel him stand back and admire his work, his innovation, and when his fingers easily slid into my wetness, he knew I was more than ready to feel him. He mounted me fast and rough and hard, and I felt like my whole body was going to topple over. I didn’t feel connected to my limbs and when he’d run the tips of his fingers across them, I’d giggle at the strangeness of it.

He pulled out of me and pulled me up by the rags around my wrists, until I was kneeling. I sat waiting and he ripped the front of my dress, exposing one breast. He roughly grabbed them and kissed them before guiding my mouth to his cock. We awkwardly managed this, as I was still wearing the blindfold and kept flinching every time he’d get close. I’d feel something near my cheek and pull back and he’d pull me closer and wordlessly direct me to the right spot.

He undid the tie around my ankles, laid down on the bed and ordered, “Now, get on top of me!” and I literally laughed out loud because I was suddenly aware of how difficult it was to move around when I couldn’t see anything or use my hands. He chuckled, “Don’t worry, I’ll help you.”, and he wrapped one arm around me and used the other to help me lift my leg high enough to get over him without accidentally kneeing him anywhere special.

It took me a bit to acquaint myself with our positioning. He used his hands and his strength to put me exactly as he wanted me, and his pleasure was audible when we got to the point of penetration. He grabbed my phone and tried to snap pictures, but the real thing was too good for him, and after three blurry pictures, he threw the phone down and one hand went between my legs and the other grabbed frantically at my exposed and unexposed breasts.

He reached around behind me and undid the tied up dress pieces from my wrists and from around my eyes and I fell into his waiting arms to receive an incredibly passionate kiss. He held me tightly and ran his hands over my hair to brush it out of my face and inquired confidently, “You okay?” and I nodded, feeling all sorts of floaty.

He rolled me onto my back and quickly penetrated me, both of us more than ready for my second orgasm. My hands went to work on my clit as he hit this new spot that we’ve just discovered that always feels epic for me. My right hand circled my clit and my left hand went between his chest and his ass, gripping and clawing the former and gently following the curve of the latter.

He watched me grinning, as the second orgasm rippled over me. I bucked right off of him and then quickly pushed him back in and convulsed as he gently rocked his hips. I shuddered at the final pulse of my pussy and he moaned, “That’s two!“. I snuggled into his forearms, placed beside my head, and kissed the veins pulsing in them. “Ready for the next one?“, he asked and I nodded, going straight back to circling my clit as he ripped open the rest of the front of my dress.

The third orgasm would just not come. He kept on, even though sweat was literally wicking off his back and chest and burning his eyes. He kept on, even though we both had to stop long enough to pick strands of my hair off of our fingers and arms and legs. He kept on for so long and I finally heaved, “I need you to cum!” and his eyes lit up. He had been so concerned about my pleasure up to this point and my orgasms, that I don’t think it had even occurred to him to orgasm. He was going to last, no matter what!

“Please Daddy, fill me up“, I whispered as I ran my hands up through his hair, pulling just gently, “Cum for me!“, I encouraged and he thrust harder and faster, the sweat dripping from his forehead onto my chest, the heat of him and our stubborn orgasms, making my arms and shins sweat. “It’s…“, he panted and I pulled him close, “I know“, and he collapsed over me, kissing my cheek before asking, “You ready?“. I nodded and he rolled exhausted into his spot.

I continued to work towards my third orgasm as we came down from the experience, talking about the best moments. Normally, this not a sexy conversation, it’s more analytical. But he was working on helping me orgasm, so he made it a sexier conversation full of compliments. “I loved how you had such a hard time moving with the blindfold on! You needed me so much. And your neck looked so good all tight and glistening with sweat.” and I smiled shyly. His hands caressed my thigh as I frantically worked on my clit, the orgasm seemingly escaping me.

I was ready to give up. My arms were soaked in sweat, my whole vulvular area felt swollen and well-used. I didn’t think it was going to happen. He grabbed my leg just right at exactly the right moment and the third orgasm, the elusive one, was the most intense of the night. I’m normally a toe-up type of girl, where the orgasm starts in the toes and radiates up from there. This time, it started in my jaw. I clenched tightly, as it dragged it’s way down my body. My stomach tightened and then my legs pushed hard into the mattress as my toes bent around the blankets. A monotonous clenched moan droned from between my lips and The Boyfriend wrapped his arm around me, consuming me in a hug, as I violently shook and clenched frantically beneath him.

He kissed my cheek and we separated, the sweat now sticky and gross, not sexy and fun. He opened the window wide and I turned on the fan, both of us ready for the night to be done. He was beyond exhausted and I had been thoroughly used. I kissed him hard, “Oh, I really do love you so much!” and he muttered, half asleep, “I really do love you too…” and after a few moments, as his eyes could no longer stay open, “…so much“.

I swear, I went to sleep grinning like a fool!