#WTMFIWednesdays: Session #4 – Lick or Spit?


WTMFI (Way Too Much F***ing Information) Wednesdays

WTMFI (Way Too Much F***ing Information) Wednesdays

A weekly sex meme arousing discussions on sexuality


The Rules


  •   Write a post answering as many of the questions as you’d like
  •   Add one of the WTMFI Wednesdays Badges
  •   Tag your post #WTMFIWednesdays
  •   Link up with us by adding your link to the original post
  •   Share your posts using our hashtag #WTMFIWednesdays

The Questions & My Answers


#Q1: Would you rather... give or receive oral sex?
#Q1: Would you rather… give or receive oral sex?

#A1:

I would definitely rather give oral sex. Don’t get me wrong, I love receiving oral sex. But I’ve always considered myself a bit of an artiste when it comes to blowjobs (and I imagine cunnilingus too, just have no proof for that particular experience) and derive a lot of serious pleasure from the act of giving oral sex. I’ve written plenty about it and I even have the quotes to prove it 😉

Session #4 - #Q2: Would you rather... lick up spit or cum? - #WTMFIWednesdays
#Q2: Would you rather… lick up spit or cum?

#A2:

Definitely cum.

I’ve never really been all that into spit. I get really grossed out when watching porn when they do the whole spitting on cock or vag – even if it’s for the functional purpose of lube. I use spit as lube, but I’m not about to literally let my spit dribble out of my mouth for the purpose. I’m not a fan of ball gags solely because of the idea of drool. Just not a big fan of spit.

But cum, that’s a whole other game. I like just about everything about cum. And while I’m not a fan of the taste of cum after it’s had a chance to cool (which happens really fast…), I’d be much more comfortable with that.

Had a cute moment when Kaeidyn saw these questions:

Session #4 - #Q3: Would you rather... spit out cum or swallow cum? - #WTMFIWednesdays
#Q3: Would you rather… spit out cum or swallow cum?

#A3:

Absolutely swallow cum.

From a very young age, even before I actually started giving blowjobs, I have always thought that if you get it in your mouth, you might as well swallow it. Also, refer to question 2 – the longer cum sits, the quicker it gets cold and cold cum is not good cum. And another thing, I’d have to like regurgitate cum from my throat to be able to spit it out, it’s normally so far back there that there is no point in spitting it out. Plus, it’s good for me, so why would I spit it out?!?

Session #4 - #Q4: Would you rather... vagina-to-anus sex or anus-to-vagina sex? - #WTMFIWednesdays
#Q4: Would you rather… vagina-to-anus sex or anus-to-vagina sex?

#A4:

I would rather no anal sex.

But, purely for health/hygiene reasons, vagina-to-anus.

Session #4 - #Q5: Would you rather... squirting or non-squirting orgasms? - #WTMFIWednesdays
#Q5: Would you rather… squirting or non-squirting orgasms?

#A5:

First things first, I’m happy with any kind of orgasm. However, it has always been on my list to have a squirting orgasm. Never had one before, but I don’t know if I’d want it to be an every time thing either. Squirting for special occasions or certain types of sex or something.

Session #4 - #BONUS: Would you rather... be caught masturbating or giving oral sex? - #WTMFIWednesdays
#BONUS: Would you rather… be caught masturbating or giving oral sex?

#BONUS:

I think I would rather be caught masturbating. I’ve actually been thinking about this question for a few days, trying to picture it in my head. And I keep thinking, probably masturbating. I can’t exactly pinpoint why I’d rather be caught masturbating than giving oral sex, but probably mostly because then I’d only have to worry about my own embarrassment and not my partners. It also feels less intimate to me and it’s easier to play off like you weren’t doing anything.

It’s funny though, because if you had asked if I’d rather be watched masturbating or giving oral sex, where like all parties were consenting to this experience, I’d have picked giving oral sex over masturbating any day!!!


View Session #4 of WTMFI Wednesdays


#WTMFIWednesdays - Session #1 Cover Photo

#WTMFIWednesdays: Session #1 – The First Time


WTMFI (Way Too Much F***ing Information) Wednesdays

WTMFI (Way Too Much F***ing Information) Wednesdays

A weekly sex meme arousing discussions on sexuality


The Rules


  •   Write a post answering as many of the questions as you’d like
  •   Add one of the WTMFI Wednesdays Badges
  •   Tag your post #WTMFIWednesdays
  •   Link up with us by adding your link to the original post
  •   Share your posts using our hashtag #WTMFIWednesdays

The Questions & My Answers


Question 1:
What was your first time kissing like?

My first time kissing happened on New Years’ back in 2000 into 2001. It was with my very first boyfriend. We had been dating for quite awhile by this point and my Mom, in her New Years’ Eve drunkenness, insisted that I had to kiss him that night. I was glad she did, because honestly, I was super scared to have my first kiss. It felt like a really serious move to me.

I remember thinking at the time that it was the best thing I had ever experienced. Even though our little trailer was filled with about thirty people and music was blaring and dogs were barking and everyone except us was drunk, the whole world just kinda stood still for us to have a great intimate moment. I don’t think we ever had another kiss like that with each other.

Question 2:
Did you orgasm the first time you masturbated?

The first time that I can remember masturbating, I had discovered the hard nose of one of my stuffed toy dogs. It was not the type of orgasm I know now, it was more of a quick shudder. I remember becoming absolutely obsessed with that dog until the day that I discovered that water coming from the tap in the bathtub…

Question 3:
What was it like giving oral sex the first time?

So, again with the same first boyfriend mentioned above. We used to go to his Dad’s house about once a month for a big dinner. It was usually food that I hated, but we got to spend quite a lot of time alone there. I remember that the movie Black Sheep was playing in the background. He kept insisting I needed to watch this movie, but we were both far too distracted. I still couldn’t tell you what that movie is about…

I remember thinking that I was exceptionally skilled at it – probably why I’m still so cocky about it today. It just felt very natural and comfortable and right. I immediately knew that I would want to do that again!

Question 4:
Did you think you were good or bad at sex the first time?

Our first time having sex, again with the same boyfriend in all my other firsts, was generally awkward.

It was at a party. Everyone in attendance knew the plan was for us to have sex that night. Everyone was basically cheering us on. My sister had brought along a huge pack of condoms. Again, everyone except us was drinking.

There were a lot of interruptions. Almost as soon as I got my shirt off, my sister barged in and snapped pictures of us (which my Mom later developed and this is how she got confirmation that we had had sex – I had told her ahead of time that it was going to happen). During some pretty intense foreplay, a drunk girl stumbled in insisting I was Crystal. Needless to say, it was hours upon hours upon hours before we finally got down to it.

It was awkward and funny, but I definitely didn’t think I was bad at it. I thought that practice would make us better 😉

Question 5:
What was your first time falling in love like?

Crazy…

We were together for about 2 years, give or take. And I fell really hard. It took me a really long time to get over him. We were both incredibly passionate people – not just in terms of loving each other, but about everything. So, our love was kinda crazy. It was tumultuous.

BONUS:
How do you feel now about your first sexual experiences?

I’ve always felt really good about my first sexual experiences. They happened exactly as I wanted them to at the time, and I don’t think I ever felt uncomfortable about a single one of them.

I was with someone who loved me and whom I loved. We both respected each other and each other’s bodies. Although our first sexperiences weren’t overly romantic and weren’t made out to be these “special moments”, they were perfect and there was no pressure and I think they gave me a really great foundation for my future sexplorations.


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The Rantings - For Adults 18+

Working on #WTMFIWednesdays

So, as some of you may remember from the post WTMFI Wednesdays: Should it return?, I had been considering bringing back the meme that I started back in 2010. Then, I posted on Google+ that I was officially working on the project – and I have been!!!

Blog-a-holic that I am, I’ve started a brand new website for the project and I personally think it is some of my best work to date. At the moment, it’s well-organized, laid out great and super SEO friendly (which is a huge first for me!) – and I imagine as sessions and submissions get added, it’s only going to get better!!!

Today, I want to give you a bit of a sneak peek into what’s coming up. We will be starting our first session on November 1st, 2017. In the lead-up, any thoughts or ideas or opinions that you have, I invite you to leave in the comments below. And if you’re just excited about the return of WTMFI Wednesdays, like me, then give this post a like!!!


What is WTMFI Wednesdays?

WTMFI Wednesdays

WTMFI (Way Too Much F***ing Information) Wednesdays

A weekly sex meme arousing discussions on sexuality.

How does WTMFI Wednesdays work?

Every Wednesday, at a yet to be determined time, a new Session goes live on wtmfi.com.

Each session includes 5 + 1 questions about a topic related to sexuality based on one of our weekly themes. Topics dictate the subject matter of the questions and themes dictate the structure of the questions.

Users are invited to answer any and all of the questions in any manner they prefer – all we ask is that you do us a couple favors – and you can participate by submitting in any of the ways listed below.

How do I participate in WTMFI Wednesdays?

How to Participate in WTMFI Wednesdays

We offer a variety of ways for you to participate in WTMFI Wednesdays – we don’t want anyone to be left out and we want everyone to feel comfortable at whatever level of internet they are. So, we’ve got options as simple as “Add your Comment” or “Become a Registered Participant” to more difficult options like “Post to Our Tumblr” or “Post to Your Own Blog“.

What happens when I become a Registered Participant?

I’m personally most excited for this aspect of WTMFI Wednesdays!

First and foremost, becoming a registered participant is and always will be free. You won’t ever have to pay for anything on wtmfi.com – EVER! Not unless all of a sudden you aren’t allowed to have websites that don’t charge or look at websites that don’t charge or some absurd law I’m sure Trump is all over!

And what happens?

  1. You get a Profile

    Tell other people that visit our website who you are. Upload an avatar and a profile cover photo, post status updates and get access to all of your other features.

  2. Connections (Followers, Compliments and More)

    Connect with other participants of WTMFI Wednesdays. Follow other users so you can see when and where they’re submitting (plus any other activity they’re up to around the site) and earn and send compliments based on your activity around the site.

  3. Session Groups

    Every session has it’s own group. You can connect with other participants in a particular session and have deeper discussions about the theme and topics of that session.

  4. Forums

    From news and support to discussions on the themes and topics of various sessions, you can even make tons of suggestions for questions!

  5. Gamification (Points, Ranks, Badges and More)

    Earn points for almost every action you take as a registered participant on WTMFI Wednesdays. Climb up the ranks from Newbie to Gold to Ruby. Unlock badges for completing achievements. And there’s more…


The official site for WTMFI Wednesdays, http://wtmfi.com/, will go live a few hours before we begin posting questions for Session #1 on November 1st, 2017. It’ll give you enough time to get familiar with the site, register and set up your profile.

Be sure to follow WTMFI Wednesdays on Google+, Facebook and Twitter to find out when the site is open and to get updates on new sessions. And if you want to get some behind-the-scenes news and such, you can check out our Blogger.

Don’t forget to let me know if you plan on participating in the comments below. I know I am!

The Rantings - For Adults 18+

Accidental Anal

The Boyfriend and I have not had very much sex lately.

We’ve had plenty of time and lots of opportunity and make plans to have sex frequently, but we’ve both been more focused on cuddling and sleeping. We’ve been making up for it immensely with makeout sessions like we’re new lovers and tons of beautiful snuggling.

But today, I was pretty desperate. So, when we had a chance to take a nap, I quickly whipped off my pants and stuck my ass out for him to touch. And of course, one thing led to another.

I was wet. Like drenched. Soaking. Absolutely wet.

It started on our sides and then we both started liking how it was feeling when he would get deeper. So, up on his knees he went and slowly I was pushed forward until I was basically on my stomach. The position was awkward, but allowed him to perfectly shove his fingers in my mouth, deeply pound my pussy and since I was so wet, easily slide a single finger in my ass.

He’s really gotten into this lately. Quite possibly because it really does make me cum so fast. I absolutely hate that it works so well – and for me, it’s not necessarily the finger in there as much as it is the finger around there – but it’s almost like a trick to speed up my orgasm. After the last time we had unsuccessful anal sex, he told me I would have to tell him when I wanted it.

As he adjusted, I flipped over entirely on my stomach and he quickly penetrated me. I clenched all my muscles, partially because I was playing with my clit and partially because it feels so good when he’s coming at me from behind. The ridge of the head of his cock tugs so wonderfully in this position. It also usually results in some kind of anal play – normally just cock rubbing around that area. But, I kinda figured that I could clench tight enough to make the transition from vaginal sex to anal sex pretty easily.

It’s never worked so well before!

He thrust into my pussy once more, pulled back just enough and literally popped into my ass. Not knowing he had done it entirely (as I said, things were ridiculously wet), he pushed forward again as he began to cum and I literally jumped up and pushed him off, digging my nails into his chest and curling my legs up underneath me. He continued to cum as he sat there seriously confused about what exactly had just happened. At first he thought I was cumming and then he realized what happened and immediately felt bad. It was entirely a ruined orgasm for him. I felt terrible!

The sensation was one of the most intense things I’ve ever felt. The only time I’ve ever experienced anything like it was when I was young and fell on a bicycle seat. I had to fight back tears and it immediately made me feel hot all over my body. It took forever for me to be able to move, my whole body just frozen. He sat and waited patiently for me and then we laid down for our nap.

I couldn’t resist finishing up my orgasm, since I was so close prior to the whole accidental anal incident. It took a really long time to get there and even though The Boyfriend managed to stay awake during the whole thing, I had to completely block him out to get there. Once I was done, he fell asleep in seconds. It took me another hour of tossing and turning.

I spent two days afterwards sore all over, especially in my anal region. And I don’t know if was necessarily the sex or the kids being home or the news at the time or the stuff going on with my family right now, but I spent those two days in the worst kind of funk. Terrible sleeps, terrible dreams, terrible days. Just right down and out.

The Writing - For Adults 18+

“Good Morning, Beautiful”

The alarm clock rang loudly, the two bells clanging against the metal, sharp and tinny, echoing off the walls. We both jumped, my hand stretching out and throwing the alarm across the room. A final ding as it hit the floor.

He wrapped his arm tightly around me and nuzzled into my neck, “Good morning, beautiful“, and I cringed into my pillow letting out a dramatic moan. He ran his hand down my stomach and over the front of my thighs, an obvious shudder following his lazy movement. “I know today sucks, but I can get your day off to a good start!“.

He rolled me onto my back, my hair covering my face. He gently wiped it away as he climbed on top of me and then disappeared beneath the blanket. I closed my eyes tightly as his tongue and lips began their journey downwards. He sucked gently on my nipple as he lifted my breast up to his mouth and his hand led the way for his lips down my stomach.

He put his hand between my thighs and opened them slightly, kneeling between them. I held my breath in anticipation and he seemed to hover there forever. I lifted the blanket to check that he was okay and he smiled at me before delving in for a taste.

He moaned as he consumed me sending a solid vibration through my already glistening body. My back arched involuntarily and he wrapped his hands up around my hips, his tongue beginning to lap soothingly at my very wet pussy. I tossed my head back and forth, half in disbelief and half still dramatically upset over being awoken. He moaned again and I melted.

He let his finger travel over my clit, followed quickly by his tongue as his finger slowly slid in me. He turned his fingers around, so they were facing up instead of down, and let another finger follow. As his fingers skillfully tugged at the top of my vagina, he sucked rhythmically on my clit, fluctuating between gentle and hard.

He moved his other hand over the bottom of my stomach, pinning my hips down to the bed, pushing my pubic mound up. He tugged with his fingers as if he was reaching for this hand on my belly all the while sucking my clit. The blankets were held tightly in my clenched white fists and he just kept sucking and tugging.

I threw off the blanket and grabbed a fistful of his hair. Pulling him off my clit, he smiled up at me and then quickly pulled his fingers out of me. I went stiff as a board and he placed his strong hands on my thighs, and he held them open as I began squirting, thrashing about with all of my might.

I collapsed back on the bed, drenched in sweat, thighs covered in my own juices and he tapped my clit gently, causing me to flinch and twitch, until my whole body relaxed and my heartbeat steadied. He sat and watched as I came down from it all, rubbing his hands along my calves and thighs.

As my eyes closed, he slid his fingers back in me, this time more forcefully. He flicked his two fingers quickly within me and again I arched my back fiercely, holding myself up on my elbows, as his fingers moved faster. He reached up for my breast, his hand just grazing my nipple and I screamed out his name.

He quickly pulled his fingers out of me and thrust his cock into me as my juices spurted out around him. Thrust after thrust, and it just kept coming. I began to shiver as the final wave swept over me and he pulled me in close to him, my lips on his neck. I wrapped my legs around his waist and grabbed tightly onto his ass as he pushed deeper and deeper into me.

He lifted up to kiss me and put his hand around my throat. My hands wrapped around his forearm as he put just the slightest pressure under my chin and he whispered, “I’m cumming“, as he thrust forward, holding himself deep inside of me, unloading as he held me by the throat. He rocked gently as the last drops left him and I pushed against him with my thighs.

He pulled out of me, releasing me, as I began to cum, squirting out my own juices and his. He rubbed his hand back and forth over the wet opening and my tender swollen clit and I convulsed frantically beneath him. My hips lifted clear off the bed, my whole body pulsing.

I collapsed drearily back onto my pillow. He climbed on top of me, brushed the hair out of my face and wiped a solitary drop of sweat from my eyebrow. He kissed me softly and whispered, “Good morning, beautiful“. I smiled, “Yes. Yes it was!“.

The Rantings - For Everyone

Wanted for a Decade

NOTE: This post was written over a month ago. The “crap that we’re going through” has not really been an issue for awhile now and I’m still working on reading through both these books. But, this post deals with other posts that I plan on publishing, so I’m publishing it!


I have had these two books #WishListed for over a decade!!!

The average bookstore in the towns I’ve lived don’t offer these kinds of books. I don’t travel and until recently we didn’t order things off the internet. However, now we do order things off the internet and now, I hold in my hands a copy of Dossie Easton and Catherine A. Liszt’s “When Someone You Love Is Kinky” and Dossie Easton and Janet W. Hardy’s “The Ethical Slut“.

It’s a little weird that I got these books at this exact time in my life. Feels a little profound and cathartic.

I’ve alluded to the “crap that we’re going through” and in it all, he is convinced that this whole thing is spurred by my desire to be polyamorous and kinky – and his inability to give me these things. I keep saying that that’s not where it was all coming from, but when it’s pointed out to me, it’s like… “Hmmm… Maybe it was…” (I’m still attempting to write about this whole “crap that we’re going through”, so please be patient with me…).

For a really long time, I have been utterly complacent about my authentic sexuality.

I literally went through an entire process of neglecting it. I went from having a clear definition of what my sexuality was and what I wanted, to ignoring and restraining any urges or desires that came my way that The Boyfriend might deem “freaky”. To calling myself a “Wannabe Kinkster” and changing all of my sexual identifiers to “Unsure“. And yes, it was because of him…!

It was because of this beautiful life, this beautiful relationship that we have together, this beautiful love. It’s always been like this for us. From the first time that whoever grabbed the other’s hand (we never can remember…), it just felt comfortable and natural and right. The whole broken world fell into place.

He was/is vanilla. And I understood/stand that my kinks are not his kinks – and for the most part, I am okay with that. Sure, I struggle. I struggle a lot sometimes. Less now than I used to, but it’s always looming there that I am not being authentic, that the sex we are having is not the sex I want to be having.

Don’t get me wrong. Our sex is incredible. Our sex is out-of-this world amazing. Our sex is mind-boggling. I’ve said it before, I’ll say it again and I don’t see that changing anytime soon. It keeps getting better and better with each passing year and as our relationship deepens. If I were vanilla, I would want for nothing!

But… Alas… I am not vanilla.

It feels weird to get these books in the midst of the “crap we’re going through“, because it feels like yet another loaded move on my part. I can just imagine how The Boyfriend is feeling right now. Like he will never be good enough, like I’m always looking for a kinky guy to come and kidnap me and take me away from him, like I’m unfaithful, disloyal, untrustworthy, a heartbreaker. And getting books about all the things that he’s afraid of must be weighing, to some degree, so heavily on him.

The Rantings - For Adults 18+

Incredibly Interesting

I’m probably wrong when I say this, but it feels like we have been having more sex than we’ve ever had, ever!

And it’s not just that it’s a lot of sex. It’s a lot of very interesting, out-of-the-box, incredibly hot sex. I don’t know if he feels like he’s pushing his own personal boundaries a lot, but he definitely is. I feel like I’ve never experienced him like this – and straight up, I’m not complaining for one second.

Yesterday, we both checked a fantasy off our list. It’s something we’ve often joked about doing when we’re watching porn. Or when we make home movies for our own personal use. And so a quick 11-second clip was uploaded to Pornhub. We spent all day obsessing. He was chalk full of ideas and has listed a ton more videos that he wants to do.

He’s decided he wants to do an “Off the Beaten Path” series. I’m jealous that he came up with the idea long before I did! I don’t think I’ve ever looked at him with such adoration.

He had asked me not to cum after we had taken that walk. He was also mean and sent me all sorts of sexy messages before I went to bed. I had been on a week-long masturbating streak. So, the denial felt more epic than anything. The next day, I kept having sudden very noticeable twinges and gushes of wetness, but I was finding it hard to be aroused. More annoyed than aroused.

http://valerieraynetumbles.tumblr.com/post/161469985111/when-theboyfriend-is-at-work-and-wont-let-me-cum

Waiting for “release” during the next day, while also watching our clip get views, and being in this continual state of flirting and sexual tension with The Boyfriend, was incredibly sexy and when it was finally time to get started, I was beyond ready.

He wanted to start with a spanking. He wanted to make videos. I got dressed up, he got dressed up. He insisted I looked “innocent” with my mini skirt, lace and pigtails. I insisted he looked “incredible” with his vest, jeans and forearms. While it was a short spanking, it was a good spanking. We had cameras at two different spots in the room and it was interesting to see the spanking from these varying perspectives. It’s always very interesting to me when we watch back through these videos and the parts that I really don’t like are usually his favorites. It’s awfully funny how perception works!

My legs got an epic workout last night and I discovered muscles I forgot I had. Bent over the couch, unintentionally on my tip toes, I got a cramp in the back of my calf. Kneeling beneath him, feet under my bum and legs spread, I felt my ankles tingle, signaling they were beginning to fall asleep. One leg on the floor, the other lifted up onto the couch, I felt the whole back of my thigh burn.

Needless to say, positions were switched up frequently.

He was also trying to get a variety of videos and pictures during the whole thing – which I’m absolutely loving that he’s getting into. I said yesterday on FetLife, and I’ve alluded to it in the past, that I love when he plays photographer and I get to play model. Unfortunately, I often feel too shy, in front of him,to be as good of a model as I know I can be – so a lot of the pictures get vetoed by me before he even gets to see them. However, it doesn’t take away from the fact that it is definitely a huge turn-on for me. Huge!

We ended up losing a bunch of videos that were made that night. Neither of us can figure out how it happened and are sure that they must be somewhere, but where that is exactly, not sure. I haven’t been able to keep focus long enough to have the patience to figure it out, so we ended up just going with what we have, and ended up uploading another Pornhub clip… (although let’s be real, we can just call this one a video…!).

After the video was uploaded, we went upstairs to have more sensual and intimate sex than we’ve been having. Or at least that was the plan. It started with me on top and it was full of kissing and hands and eye contact. It’s been a long while since we had sex in, what I think is called, reverse cowgirl – me on top facing his toes. This particular position is rarely used because I often don’t feel very confident in the view – it’s a very open position, especially being that I tend to lean more forward – which is great when I’m in the mood to be looked at, not so much when I’m not.

This proved to be a lot for both of us and the next thing I knew, I was being mounted and fucked from behind. He wanted me to be noisy so he could get a recording of it. I came rather quickly, my hand just barely rubbing my clit but his cock hitting just the right angle inside of me. The recording continued as he pounded into me while I muttered all sorts of dirty things to him about filling me up and giving me his cock. The sensation of him cumming caused me to shudder beneath him.

This morning, he woke me up to 420 views on our second video, The Smoky Blowjob. We had expected to get more than our first video, but not hundreds more. We’ve been checking into Pornhub all day to watch our views climb and see the comments on our videos. It’s been a great deal of fun.

Probably my most favorite thing though, is this exploration of fantasy that’s happening between us. The constant open communication about sexual things – like desires and limits. Being able to feel comfortable checking in with one another, “And how are you feeling about that?“, and not feeling shame in anyway. The sexual dialogue, which is what I’ve always wanted, is just being incredible right now. It’s making me feel all sorts of lovely things about him and us.

I’m definitely having fun during all of this, although it is kinda hard to feel connected to all of it. It’s interesting to me how the idea of “authentic sexuality” has re-appeared so much in my thoughts, after so long of not thinking of it. It’s interesting that the things that I keep saying most have a lot to do with being authentic and that that seems to be at the front of my mind. And in a way it feels like it’s not me and him experiencing these things – but like other people, people who aren’t us. It’s an interesting sensation and experience, one that has me largely in silence.

The Boyfriend keeps asking, “How are you doing?” and I keep not knowing how to respond, because I’m just kinda meh… I’m equating it to the post-sex blues and we’ll see how I feel after his first night back at work to see if it’s anything more. I’m definitely not looking forward to spending the night away from him and imagine it’ll be an early bedtime because I’ll decide I’m missing him too much.

We plan on getting more videos this weekend and are impatiently awaiting the arrival of our restraints and my Blog-A-Holic bra and underwear, because we have tons of ideas surrounding those things. Also interesting that clothing seems to be spawning fantasies for us… I feel like I’m learning a lot of about me, him, and us during all of this!

The Rantings - For Adults 18+

Off the Beaten Path: A Quick Walk in the Woods

For as long as I can remember, The Boyfriend and I have talked about getting me a short skirt.

But we’ve never really looked for a short skirt. Typically, we don’t buy clothes with mainly sex in mind. We buy clothes with comfort in mind. We buy clothes with days with the kids in mind. So, if I get a skirt, it’s a long skirt that’s good for covering things up. But, we really wanted a short skirt.

After a night of talking about wants and desires, we ended up on Amazon browsing around and made a couple impulse purchases. He got a vest, which I’ve always said that I wanted to see him in, and I got a short skirt. It turns out it’s a very short skirt – like don’t-even-think-about-bending-over-a-little-bit-short (which is basically what I was looking for, but I think he had a little longer in mind).

As I expected it would, this skirt has spawned a great deal more fantasy-talking. Lots of ideas coming from both of us all from this one little skirt…

We’ve also both been enjoying taking walks around the beautiful trails. He will sacrifice hours of sleep for us to go hang out down by the river or stand in the forest.

These two things have resulted in the obvious fantasy of wearing the skirt out for one of our walks. We’ve both had varying degrees of the fantasy, me probably more than him, simply because I have more time to fantasize. Needless to say, arousal levels have been incredibly high around here as we wait to be able to put my skirt to use. After describing all the dirty thoughts on my mind, we decided to go walk down by the river and see if wearing my skirt down there on his next days off would even be a possibility.

The List - For Adults 18+

No Longer #FucketListed: An Over-The-Knee Spanking

Since the very beginning of my creation of bucket lists, I have had “get an over-the-knee spanking” at the very top.

When I was pregnant with Carter (about 8ish years ago), The Boyfriend had agreed to spank me. It was a short-lived situation that was a lot of fun for me. But after we had Carter, spankings went completely out the window. And that over-the-knee spanking stayed on the list.

Well, no longer!!!

He’s been spoiling me a lot lately. We’ve had some stuff going on aka “the crap we’re going through” (I’m attempting to write posts about this, but its taking some serious time, so I’m not going to go into too much detail), but in one way or another, things are changing for us. I think he feels very insecure in our relationship right now – and not without cause – and so he’s over-compensating in other ways in an attempt to save what feels to him like a failing relationship. Although, I assure you and him both that I am not going anywhere and have no desire to!!!

Anyways, back to the point of this post…

So, the spoiling started a few days ago. We went on a trip to Wal-Mart to pick up a few things and I walked out with basically an entire summer wardrobe. A few shirts, pants and shorts and a bunch of new thongs that I picked out because I knew he would like them. Then of course, there was the trip to Drumheller and that whole experience (which I’m also writing a post about…). On his last night off, I decide to slip into one of the dresses we got and one of the thongs.

We’re sitting on the couch and he decides to moisturize my feet and legs. This doesn’t happen very often anymore, but used to be a regular occurrence for us. After he’s done, he tells me to lay across his lap. I figure he’s just planning on moisturizing the backs of my thighs or maybe give me a nice ass massage. He lifts up the hem of my dress and then…

Hard, hard, hard slap right on my left cheek.

I squirmed, I kicked, I yelped. He liked that and the next thing you know, we’re having a good long spanking session. A hard spanking session. No real warm-up, no gentleness. He had said earlier in the day during an intense discussion that we were “going to have angry sex tonight“, and his hands felt angry but there was a tenderness in all the hardness.

I was all over the place on the couch across his legs. After the first few hits, every single one felt incredibly intense. My whole ass felt red everywhere, even though he had been hitting almost the exact same spot over and over on each cheek – save for the one closest to him. A few hits, just the edge of his palm or his fingertips, would nick between my legs and I would heave frantically – pain shooting through my insides and then subsiding in a way that literally made me feel the color red.

One good slap on my right cheek, sent me up on all fours and I collapsed with my head on his lap curled up in a ball. He wasn’t done with the spanking yet and continued to give me sporadic hard slaps in between drinking our coffees and smoking. When I laid back across his lap, in quick succession, three hard slaps on my left cheek. By now, that side felt fine for the most part – stingy but nicely numbing. So, the three hard slaps were gentle squirms, pleasurable wiggles, cooing. But then three hard slaps befell my right cheek. The second one caused me to kick up my legs and hold out my arms above my head, arch my back and squeal out. He had to hold my legs down to land the third hit and I swear I’ve never moved away from him faster.

He wanted pictures and told me to bend over the couch. Bright purple lines had begun forming all over both cheeks, especially the left one. You could see where he had hit hardest. Then, out of nowhere, the hardest slap. So hard that I still have a hand print leftover the next day! He was so sad that he didn’t get a video of my reaction. I flew forward and clasped onto the couch, bent down and moaned and groaned and whined, laughed out loud at the sensation, kept trying to stand up but the pain kept me crouching, gripping the couch for dear life!

He giggled and watched me squirm and wiggle and admired his handiwork. He came up behind me and stroked the hair out of my face and helped me to stand. Sitting on the couch was very hard, especially since I could feel the fabric of the couch through the soft dress that I was wearing, the coarse fabric scraping the welts that were now forming.

The sex afterwords was out of this world! My pussy actually ached when he woke me this morning for another round. I was bent over the arm of the couch, tied up for a short period, spread wide open and scrunched up in a tiny ball. He was on top, I was on top. Hands were absolutely everywhere and we were both drenched in sweat.

And I got so much amazing oral sex – like, I’m talking learned-new-things-about-how-wonderful-pleasure-can-be-type amazing!!! He spent time licking and kissing and sucking on things and in places that are rarely ever touched and kept doing this lovely thing with his lip coming up under my clit that would have my toes fiercely pointed. It was intimate and sensual and we were both surprised at how long it took me to cum. Which happened the first time kneeling over top of his face, with his hands going absolutely wild all over me.

There were so many intensely wonderful things happening everywhere. The crazy amount of eye contact – which typically isn’t a huge thing for The Boyfriend and I – during the fisting or the blowjob. His frequent use of his thumbs to either rub my clit or penetrate with, which I had told him that I had recently been fantasizing about a lot. There was also a lot of opportunity for each of us to admire each other – to admire his amazing body or to admire my vocalizations – especially being that we recently got a new picture taker AND for the first time in a few years brought the laptop up to make a home movie 😉

All-in-all, it was one of the greatest nights in our sexperiences, although like I said to him after the spanking, I’m sad that it will always be remembered directly along with the “crap we’re going through“. I’m sad that it’s a marred spanking. However, on the other hand, it’s greatness supersedes that sadness. It was almost everything you want in a sexperience. It was hours and hours and hours of some of best sex The Boyfriend and I have ever had. Not only was there great sex, but there was really great discussions had throughout.

At one point, there was just playful teasing while we browsed Amazon for sex toys – specifically restraints, because he’s apparently really into that right now (no complaints here 😉 😉 😉 ). Lots of questions about interests and limit-setting – neither of us is interested in enemas, hard limit! Another point, he gave me two options: go up to bed, get tied up and fucked, or go on cam and get fucked (which is inline with the “crap we’re going through“) and I immediately said “no” to option number two.

It always fascinates me how an emotionally-charged declination of consent can still result in amazing sex!

Because of the “crap we’re going through“, there were some incredibly awkward points of the sexperience. After the spanking and some of the beginning not-orgasm-focused oral and sex, he abruptly said, “I better never catch you with another man” – which stopped everything dead in its tracks and resulted in a good cuddling/comfort session. Or when I tried to explain, through very cryptic and broken sentences, that I absolutely hated that it took me breaking his heart to, nine years later, finally get an over-the-knee spanking or that I was worried that in some way he had felt obligated to spank me to be able to keep me – that he didn’t do it because he wanted to but because he felt like he had to. There were deep conversations mixed into all the sexiness going on and it made everything feel all that much more intense.

The worst part for both of us was when he came. We were trying really hard to cum together. He held off for so long and let me have two orgasms already. So, by the time he’s getting ready to cum and I’m on top and working on that third orgasm, it’s just not happening. He ends up cumming first at my encouragement. He’s decided he absolutely doesn’t like when this happens, because he ends up falling asleep without meaning to. He felt really bad afterwards that he had had to force himself to stay awake for my third and final orgasm of the night. I assured him that it hadn’t changed how I felt about the night.

We were open and vulnerable and wounded. It was beautiful and it hurt. It made me feel so much. And I desperately needed that!

I was expecting to feel more of the post-sex blues that I typically have the day after really mind-blowing sex between us. I was expecting to feel exhausted from the lack of sleep. I was expecting to be reeling mentally when I had time to think about all the things that happened last night. I was expecting to need some serious aftercare or for him to need it. But today, aside from aching thighs and a very tender, gently bruised backside, I feel really good. I feel full of love and optimistic and just really good. Waking up to another dose of sex and then spending the morning exchanging adoring glances with The Boyfriend has just really made everything feel blissful.

The List - For Everyone

#BucketListed: Publish My First Book

I’ve long talked about my desire to write a book. It’s something I’ve always wanted to do.

I even have books in the works. By in the works, I mean that they are sitting in folders – some of them only just started, some of them just outlined and some of them with thousands of unedited words.

However, I would in no way say that I’m anywhere near the point of publishing said first book yet. Not even close!

Being an author is a way of immortalizing yourself – more than almost any other medium. Words live for centuries!  You can still read the words of authors and philosophers written from thousands of years ago. I was always a big fan of journaling, to remember myself, to remember who I was. To immortalize and preserve myself for myself.

What began as journaling evolved into writing. It’s how I started blogging. I wasn’t doing it to reach out to readers or start conversations, I was just writing in my online journal. Then I began publishing erotica and can now, sorta, put myself into the writer category. Sorta.

In terms of what types of books I want to publish, it ranges and varies. Generally, I want to stick to sex-based subjects, because it’s what I think I know. And what I’m passionate about – which is ultimately what matters. From erotic novels to non-fiction sexual education-type books.

Does that mean that this should be #FucketListed?

To which, my answer is, no it shouldn’t be. Because it’s not a sexual want/desire/aspiration. It’s a very day-to-day mundane interaction – writing a book, that is. Publishing a book is not sexual, even if it’s content may be. And if I only wanted to publish erotica, then maybe. But again, that’s not all I can write!

More than anything though, I want to feel my book in my hands. I struggle with publishing an eBook alone because I want to feel the weight of my words. I want to hear my finger slide down the page and the spine crack! I want to turn the crisp pages and have that memorable smell waft towards my nose. I want to make it to the final page and experience the ending in the way only closing a book can allow. I want to set it down and feel completed.

The Writing - For Adults 18+

#EroticLimericks: Did you hear about…

I’ve done a series of six erotic limericks about six different people.

Did you ever hear about any of them before?


Did you hear about Giselle?
Feel free to share these #EroticLimericks!

Did you hear about Giselle?
The girl from down the way
She sucked on his cock
Made him hard as a rock
And then went about her day


Did you hear about Sebastian?
Fell free to share these #EroticLimericks!

Did you hear about Sebastian?
He’s known as a lady’s man
He plays with the pussy
And spanks every tushy
Of all the woman he can


Did you hear about Louise?
Feel free to share these #EroticLimericks!

Did you hear about Louise?
She was always on her knees
From behind, deep inside
She would secretly confide
She was more than happy to please



Did you hear about John Thomas?
Feel free to share these #EroticLimericks!

Did you hear about John Thomas?
That’s what he called his cock
It was given that name
After playing a game
With the twins living down the block


Did you hear about Susannah?
Feel free to share these #EroticLimericks!

Did you hear about Savannah?
This girl she was so fine
She’d point at my penis
Sweet tension between us
And tell me, “Your cum is mine!”


Did you hear about Donald Trump?
Feel free to share these #EroticLimericks!

Did you hear about Donald Trump?
With hair as orange as the sun
He had a small dick
Got pissed on by some chick
Can you believe he won…?


If you enjoyed this post and would like to see more erotic limericks, please leave me a like below. Feel free to share any of the images above wherever you would like. If you feel like linking back to me, great! If not, oh well! Got an erotic limerick that you’d like to share? Please leave them in the comments below!!!

The Rantings - For Adults 18+

Days Off

Sunday, Monday and Tuesday cannot come fast enough!

The Boyfriend has three days off, finally! It feels like it’s been a really long time since he last had longer than two days off and when it’s two days, they go so fast that it’s just not enough. I’m hoping, crossing my fingers hard, that he’ll get a decent amount of sleep one of the nights to be awake enough to actually enjoy a day off together.

His last two days off, we only had sex once. Normally we try to have sex on both nights off to hold us over until his next nights off. But this time, the second night we were both way too exhausted. Our heads hit the pillow and we were asleep before we could even attempt to try for anything.

However, because my body hates me, my period decides to start yesterday. It’s unlikely that it’ll be done by his days off. I spent a good hour upset about it today while I was thinking about all the fun we could have on these days off. I’m getting over it though, because there’s still fun to be had. It’s just unlikely to be vaginal sex.

Honestly, I’m down for just some seriously good cuddling. I want to lie on his chest while he strokes my hair. I want to sleep with his arm wrapped around me. I want to lay on his lap while we’re watching TV. I just want him near me and touching me. I’m desperate to just feel him.

Sunday, Monday and Tuesday cannot come fast enough!

The Gallery - For Everyone

Fin-spiration for The Mermaid

I’ve been working on an erotic story.

I was tasked by a follower on Google+ to write a mermaid story (shoutout to +Richard Bacula).

I have literally had it in the works for over a month now because I keep coming up against walls left and right. I have never read anything with mermaids in it and the only other mermaid I’ve ever known was Ariel from The Little Mermaid. That’s it! So, I’ve been seeking out lots of inspiration for this one.

First was the issue: how exactly do mermaids have sex?

I think I’ve figured this one out. I think I’ve decided how I want it to be done and what I’m hoping to accomplish with the mermaid sex scene(s).

Now, my issue is: how exactly to describe a mermaid tail/fins and the various anatomy of those parts. Plus, how exactly do you describe the color of mermaid scales?!?

So, I went on a Google hunt for some inspiration, which led me to Pinterest and I thought this could be pretty to share. Enjoy some fin-spiration!

If it was specked with more green, this is almost exactly the tail I have in mind:

However, this mermaid tail is pretty awesome too – maybe for a different mermaid character 😉

“A very useful chart for mer-doctors”:


Speaking of information that could be useful for a mer-doctor… The Wikipedia version of the course taught in Mer-Medical School reads something like this:

  • First stories of mermaids had the goddess Atargatis transform herself into a mermaid because she accidentally killed her human lover
  • Mermaids are sometimes associated with perilous events such as floods, storms, shipwrecks and drownings.
  • The word “mermaid” is a compound of the words mere (sea) and maid (girl or young woman)
  • Often equated with the Sirens from Greek mythology who, “would lure soon-to-be-shipwrecked sailors to nearby rocks, sandbars or shoals
  • Sirenomelia, also called “mermaid syndrome”, is a rare congenital disorder in which a child is born with his or her legs fused together and small genitalia.” Also, as of July 2003, there are only 4 known survivors.
  • Mermen are described as wilder and uglier than mermaids and have very little interest in humans
  • Disney’s The Little Mermaid (1989), is based on Hans Christian Anderson’s fairytale, The Little Mermaid (1837)
  • Chinese literature, 15th century, tells of a mermaid who “wept tears which became pearls
  • Since 1947, Weeki Wachi Springs has professional female divers who perform as mermaids at “The Only City of Live Mermaids

The posts for true lovers of mermaids were very inspiring:

Some great vintage mermaid art. This one made me laugh:

Surprisingly, didn’t find more of mermaids with people on land. However, this one immediately touched me:

And finally, Father Tuck’s “Alphabet” Series, 1902:

Also, I discovered the word to describe the color of a mermaid’s tail:

Irridescent

showing luminous colors that seem to change when seen from different angles
Synonyms of Interest: Luminous, Lustrous, Opalescent, Prismatic

Tonight, I’m working on writing about the first appearance of the mermaid. Then, I’m going to finally tackle the first sex scene which I imagine will take me a bit to write as I attempt to navigate mer-natomy. After that, we’ll see what happens.

In the meantime, check out my Fin-spiration Pinterest Board – it’s pretty awesome, if I do say so myself 😉

The List - For Adults 18+

#FucketListed: Sex in Public

In TO DO: Sex in the Great Outdoors, I talked about all the outside spaces that I would love to have sex – like the forest or under the stars and in the rain or on the side of the road. I promised at the end of that post that I would later write a post about all the public spaces that I would to have sex, so now, I’m making good on my promise!

In a Dressing Room

We’ve all seen the porn. Girl takes boyfriend to lingerie store. Invites him in to help her try on her bra. Thong gets pulled to the side as he thrusts into her, both of them struggling not to get caught. Hot!

At a Club

I’ve written erotica about it. I regularly use it as masturbatory fodder. Dancing is honestly one of my favorite things. Drunk slutty dancing, being ogled and groped by strangers, the bass… Yup, definitely want this!

At the Strippers

Okay, so really, there’s a variety of different club-venues that I’d like to have sex at.

The previous one, “a club” would just be a regular normal vanilla nightclub. The strippers would be amazing. It would be especially amazing if we went on amateur night and I got brave enough to get up on stage. Then, the dancing turns us both on so much that we can’t help but run off to the bathroom or some booth somewhere!

At a Sex Club

The point is to get naked and have sex with people. Maybe just us in a room, maybe us being watched by a gang of people in a room or maybe having sex with other people or some type of variation of sex at a sex club.

At a Fetish Club

After the dungeon has been explored, after new sensations have been discovered, after we have gone up and come down, after it all – just me and him at a fetish club – people can watch, but I’d really love for it to be intimate and sensual.

In a Hotel

While the hotel room sex would be fun, and I suppose technically belongs on this list, I’m specifically talking about areas of the hotel that you aren’t typically supposed to be having sex. The elevator, the hallways, the stairwell, the hotel pool 😉

During a Concert

A very common theme in my indoor fantasies is apparently music… At a rock show, a classical opera, an indie folk jam, even an epic music festival. If you’ve ever seen the scene from SLC Punk where Sandy tells Steve-O to fuck her like a man – that! (And if you haven’t seen SLC Punk, I strongly suggest you do!!)

At the Doctors/Hospital

There is a lot of time wasted while you’re waiting for a doctor. I don’t know if I could ever be brave enough to do full out sex in the doctors office or even in a hospital room (unless it was for some sexual study), but I could definitely manage some hand stuff!

At the Movie Theater

It’s a little cliché, I know. But it’s literally the perfect public place to again, do some hand stuff. If you were to wait for the right amount of time, you could basically have an empty theater to go wild in!

Keep in mind that these are only indoor spaces. You can see outdoor spaces in this post. There’s probably more that I didn’t think of and if I remember any, I’ll add them as I remember.

So, tell me, where are some other places or ways that you could have sex in public spaces? Ever done any of the above or wanted to do any of the above? What do you think are some things to keep in mind when you’re having sex in public? Should you plan ahead or should it be spontaneous. Leave your thoughts about sex in public in the comments below!

The Rantings - For Adults 18+

What I Learnt From A Month of Orgasms

It’s always been #FucketListed for me to orgasm everyday for an entire month.

I mean, sure, I’d love to do it everyday for the rest of my life, but I was trying to be realistic. However, I never really thought I would do it but then I realized a couple days ago that I’m 3 weeks into orgasming everyday at least once a day and figured I should just hold out for 7 more days and then I can un-#FucketListed this!

Sometimes, I had an orgasm during sex and sometimes I had an orgasm from masturbation. Almost always I came from manual (hands/fingers) stimulation of my clit – except for the odd oral orgasm. Sometimes, The Boyfriend was there, actively participating or falling asleep and sometimes, he was at work and I was alone. Every single time was in my bed.

So, what I have learnt about myself, my body and my sexuality over this month-long sexperiment?

  1. The More I Masturbate, The Longer It Takes

    Week 1, I would spend typically 15 – 20 minutes to get to The Big O – unless The Boyfriend was lying next to me sleeping, in which case, it would normally take longer. This last week (so Week 3/4), I haven’t had a single night take me less than 45 minutes

  2. My Mind Runs Wild

    When it comes to sex, The Boyfriend and I typically tend to do the same things over and over again. Not like we have gotten into some rut, but because we both know what we like and we like to do the things that we enjoy. So, we do them!

    But during this month of orgasming daily, my mind has been going wild with all sorts of interesting things. Some nights, I like to stick to fantasizing about what we actually do. But other nights, my mind dips into fantasies I didn’t even know that I had and I’m always surprised at how it keeps coming up with all new things.

    I’ve never had so many sexual fantasies on my brain all the time!

  3. Orgasms Feel Really Good

    After a long and stressful day of cooking and cleaning and dealing with the kids and a baby, nothing feels better than crawling into bed and reaching my hands down my pants. And even though getting to the orgasm can sometimes feel like an unbearable amount of work and I sweat more during the mission than at any other time, that release is the best feeling ever!

    When my muscles all contract and things pulse. I just feel so good. And sleep comes so quickly after working towards my goal for 45 minutes and then achieving it. So much peace!!

  4. Periods Suck!!!

    So, orgasming for 3 weeks… That shit was easy! Week 4 is going to be a challenge. And I never considered this prior to experiencing it, but I forgot entirely that every month, you bleed for a week! Probably because I was just pregnant and didn’t bleed for a long time, but man oh man.

    Orgasms feel incredibly good when you’re on your period. They ease a lot of the unpleasant symptoms of menses. However, there is nothing less arousing than having to push your pad out of the way and hope that you don’t get blood all over your fingers.

  5. One Is Almost Never Enough

    I’m absolutely a 2-orgasm kinda girl. That first orgasm just doesn’t do it for me. It’s like foreplay for me, it just turns me on more. The wetness from that first orgasm always makes where a second is necessary. Only when I was so exhausted that I couldn’t move anymore did I not go for a second.

    Sometimes, a second isn’t even good enough and I had a number of nights where there were upwards of five. The more I did it, the more I felt like I could do more. And when I didn’t go for more when I felt the urge to, I felt like it wasn’t as great of a night, wasn’t as successful, wasn’t as pleasurable. Rarely was the first orgasm good enough to just leave it at that.

I thought after having an orgasm everyday for a month that I would have some sort of cathartic experience where I knew my body and my soul better. I would be in touch with some sort of deeper me. But the reality is, the most prolific thing that I learnt during this sexperience, is that I really love orgasms!

I really love the act of working towards an orgasm. I love exploring the dirty thoughts in my mind and just giving myself over to the pleasure. I love the involuntary rocking and pulsing and throbbing and buildup and release. I love “the final paroxysm” and the way my body tightens and contracts in this amazing rhythm that feels like my own personal symphony. And I love that floaty head feeling, when all your limbs are limp and your heartbeat returns to normal and you can feel the heat of your flushed cheeks.

Could I go for longer than a month? I don’t think so. Could I go for a year? I definitely don’t think so. Would I learn something new if I went longer? Maybe… Orgasms take a lot out of you for how wonderful and amazing they are. It’s not only physically exhausting to be having one or more orgasms everyday, it’s also mentally exhausting. Does the experience make me want more orgasms? Yes, absolutely.

The Rantings - For Adults 18+

I’m Mad At Him, And I Don’t Think He’s Noticed

I’m not mad at him for any good or particular reason. But it’s pissing me off more that he’s not noticing.

It all started a few nights ago. We had really great sex. I orgasmed during it but as usual, wanted to have that second orgasm. When he cums, it turns me on so much. I always want an orgasm afterwards, otherwise I spend the next few days until we have sex again, absolutely and utterly aroused. So, I always go for a second orgasm.

But, he’s already cum. He works, he’s a Dad, he’s tired at the best of times. Add in a great orgasm and it’s near impossible for him to stay awake afterwards. Sometimes, I don’t mind and will bring myself to orgasm as he falls asleep next to me and it’s okay and I’m fine with it. Sometimes, it makes me upset and angry and I bring myself to orgasm just to spite him – even though he sleeps right through it, so really, doesn’t affect him.

If I’m especially angry at him, as I was after this really great sex, I’ll intentionally fantasize about another guy. Another guy coming into my room and taking over the monumental task of bringing me to my second orgasm. He’s not there to have sex with me or make me feel loved or any of that bullshit, his job is purely to get between my legs and love my pussy until I explode into orgasm. I always feel guilty after this fantasy.

I woke up the next day really mad at him for yet again falling asleep on me. I get that he’s tired, I’m sympathetic. But there is no way in hell that I would fall asleep during his orgasm – regardless of how long it was taking to get there or if it was his first or fifth. I’m a Mom raising 5 kids, I’m exhausted too, but I would never just pass out and make him work for it himself. In the last year, he’s literally had to work for 1 of his orgasms – 1!!! We weren’t in the same province and he had to work for 1 orgasm – which, might I add, I stayed awake for and watched while we were videocalling each other!!!

Like, it just makes me want to scream. It makes me wonder why no one cares about my orgasm. Especially when he’s always claiming, “Oh, I love it when you orgasm. I love to watch you cum!” blah blah fucking blah!!!

Then, his sleep schedule has been all over the place. First, he was sleeping when all the kids were at school. A lot of times, I’d just stay in bed with him. Then, we had baby and he’s an early riser. So, I’d get out of bed when he got home from work in the morning and then he would sleep after the kids got home from school. Then, out of nowhere, he’s started doing where he sleeps for part of the morning, gets out of bed for the afternoon and then finishes off his sleep with a nap before work. This constant changing of a sleep schedule that was working for us is absolutely getting to me.

Every time he closes his eyes, I feel an immediate anger at him. It feels like all he’s ever doing lately is sleeping. And I know that’s not true. I know he’s not getting anymore hours than he used to, I know he’s not getting deep, well-rested sleeps. But I can’t help but feel jealous that yet again he gets to crawl into bed and yet again he gets time without the kids and yet again…

Also had my first period back since the miscarriage. It was one of the roughest periods I’ve had in awhile – cramps, more bleeding than usual, massive mood swings – it was all over the place. And I’m guessing it probably has been contributing to the anger I feel towards The Boyfriend right now. I have to go through all these lady problems while he gets to just sit back and not have to experience it or go without orgasms because no one wants to touch a bleeding vagina and just argh!!

The Rantings - For Adults 18+

#Sexperience Fails: When FFM Threesomes Go Wrong

I was 17 and pregnant with my first child by the man, who I joked through our whole relationship was, “the one night stand that wouldn’t end!“. He had a guy friend, I’ll call him Mark, who was dating a girl I’ll call Sam. She was a little younger than us and incredibly beautiful. I was tall and skinny and she was short and curvy. Alfie and I were very open about the fact that we were both curious about a variety of kinks. That month, we had discovered blind canes.

Our window blinds had broken. The cane to open and close them had popped off and wouldn’t go back on. It just happened to be laying on the floor by the couch when we had Mark and Sam over for a game of poker, a couple hits from the bong and the boys probably drank beer. A joke was made about the blind cane and somehow it ends with Sam in front of a mirror, me behind here wailing on her ass with the cane, while the two guys sit on the bed behind us sipping beer. The night ended abruptly.

Mark came over the next night without Sam. Alfie and I teased that we should have a threesome. He reached his hand up my skirt rather brazenly as his friend watched on. I went for a bath and Alfie and I had a heart-to-heart – were we really going to do this? How would Sam feel about it? – and ultimately decided that Alfie would go back upstairs and put the feelers out with Mark and come and get me if it were a yes.

The agreement we came to was that Alfie was allowed to fuck me, Mark was only allowed a blowjob. So, I knelt between Mark’s legs, ass high in the air and proceeded to suck his laundry detergent scented cock as Alfie fucked me from behind. I remember the experience being incredibly hot and when they finished close to each other, I laid down between them and Alfie and I made out as I masturbated and Mark watched on.

A few nights later, Sam came over by herself. She knew about our experience with Mark and wanted a taste of her own. She wanted to show me what I had done to her ass with the cane only a few nights prior and we snuck into the bathroom to take a peek. Alfie tried to sneak in and both of us shrieked at him – if she, if we wanted him to see, we would’ve done it right there in front of him. I know it made me feel uneasy, I can only imagine how she felt.

Eventually, we get to a point where we’re all ready to go. I couldn’t tell you any of the details leading up to the moment. I remember Alfie laying on the bed between us in his boxers. I remember Sam and I giggling not really knowing where to start first. I remember Alfie telling me to kiss her. I remember her braces pressed up against my lips.

Alfie says something to indicate that we should suck his cock. He chooses her first. She just barely gets her lips wrapped around him before pulling off and saying she has to leave. She had gotten a text from her Dad saying he was outside waiting for her. Up she goes, quick as a cat. I’m pretty sure Alfie practically chased her out the door…

Some time goes by. I couldn’t tell you exactly how long. Maybe a week. I wake up late one morning and our roommate informs me that Alfie’s been locked up in the bathroom all morning with the phone and he needs to make a call. Alfie lies and tells me he’s been talking to his Mom. The phone says he’s been calling Sam. After Alfie and I talk and he continues to lie, even after he’s been caught, continues to lie, I call Sam.

He won’t stop calling me. I keep telling him I want to come hangout with you but he keeps telling me I can’t unless I hang out alone with him. He’s called me constantly this morning!“. Alfie is literally sitting there watching my reactions to her on the phone and he’s just sitting there, spewing off more lies about how we didn’t understand and it’s not what we think. I never talked to her again...


It’s my 21st birthday. I’m now a Mom to 3 babies, Alfie and I have broken up and gotten back together so many times I can’t even count and we’ve shared a couple handfuls worth of great male-male-female threesomes. I’ve got this friend who we’ve known for almost a decade and we’ve been hanging out constantly. She brings me a best friends blanket and a bottle of alcohol. The three of us sit on the couch drinking.

We all think it would be hilarious to play truth or dare and it starts out innocently enough. I don’t remember who it was exactly but someone dares someone else to lick someones nipples. The game turns dirty very fast – too fast. Very quickly, it becomes her and Alfie daring each other while I’m sitting there watching them play together and thinking, “Isn’t it my birthday?“.

Alfie and I always had this really big issue. I had a bunch of babies, so I wasn’t as skinny at 21 as I was when we first met. As part of his abuse cycle, he would call me fat and lazy to get a reaction out of me and it did, it really did. She was bigger than I was, but she had gorgeous boobs. Just absolutely perfect. I couldn’t get over the fact that he was so interested in her even though she was fat, when he couldn’t be interested in me because I was fat. That took over entirely…

I stomped down to my room, tears held at the corner of my eyes. I slammed my bedroom door shut. It took him 20 minutes to come down after me. I remember him telling me I was being ridiculous and I remember him leaving. I laid in my bed crying for a really long time – or at least it felt like a really long time. I expected to go back upstairs to everyone with their clothes on and feeling a little awkward.

Instead, I walk upstairs to the two of them naked under the blankets, him on top of her. I can’t say for sure that there was penetration. I can’t say for sure exactly what they were doing. But I remember absolutely losing my shit. I remember screaming at her that “this is not what friends do!“, I remember ignoring him entirely as he told me I was overreacting and tried to stop me from throwing her shirt at her. I was completely outraged and told her to get out of my house and never come back. I told Alfie to do the same, but he didn’t listen. I never talked to her again…

The Rantings - For Adults 18+

Holiday Fantasy Fulfilled

I swear he’s inside my head!

We decided last night, that even though we were going to bed earlier than we have been, we were going to watch porn. We’ve been saying it for a few days now and keep putting it off and putting it off until eventually it’s 4 AM and the sex is going to take 2 hours and the baby will be in 4, so porn doesn’t get watched because ain’t nobody got time for that shit!

But last night, we made time. Honestly though, the porn barely got watched.

It started on the couch. I had already been ready to go for a long time and when he pulled his cock out of his pants, I happily went about licking and sucking it while he picked videos – although really, he just flipped through 20 pages of videos until finally I just threw one on. He’s really enjoying trying to shove as much of himself as he can into my mouth and I have honestly been sucking at deepthroating lately, which is so not me! I get to a certain point and then just close up entirely. I don’t know if he’s noticed or not, but he sure is enjoying it lately.

In between watching the porn or kissing him or licking him, I was desperate to talk. Kept telling him to “tell me something interesting” or asking him questions. I’ve been having a lot of fantasies lately and I was curious if he’s had any. He doesn’t really have a lot of fantasies because he likes his sex rather boring. But for a long time FFM threesomes have been on both of our lists. After the week of the anal sex fantasy that I was having, I suddenly switched hardcore into FFM threesomes and so when he said it, I literally laughed out loud. He’s so in my head.

It wasn’t long before we were saying that we should go upstairs.

I was on top first and neither of us wanted full on penetration yet. I was incredibly wet though and placed him between my lips and let him slide around underneath of me. Our hands were everywhere. I remember his in my hair and mine on his lips, at some point he was holding me up under my boobs and I couldn’t reach him, and then his thumb nestled onto my clit.

I came quickly and much faster than I had wanted to. But, he wasn’t done!

I allowed him to enter me during my orgasm and his face lit up as I gently circled my hips on him. I leaned back, it was getting so hot and I was absolutely covered in sweat. He sat up and shoved my breast in his mouth as he rocked beneath me, his hands all over my back and in my hair. He laid me back and made sure my head was all supported and brought his lips right up to my ear.

I knew he was going to say something and I held my breath in anticipation.

It seemed to take forever. He pulled back just enough to be able to see my face, he wanted to watch my response. In possibly the hottest voice he’s ever had during sex, he half-whispered, half-grunted, “Are you going to be my good little slut tonight?“. Ugh, just writing it out and I can feel it in my clit. There are very few times he calls me the names I really like being called during sex. To him, calling a person a slut or whore or bitch is disrespectful, even if they are literally begging for it!

It’s one of those things that I absolutely love and hate about him.

I answered, “I’ll try!“, knowing that he was asking permission to try for anal. We’ve never tried it with me on my back before, even though it’s been a recurring fantasy of mine. We’ve tried and failed a lot with anal and the times that we have been successful either involve me on my stomach or while spooning. So, I honestly didn’t think it was going to happen. He said knowingly, “You’ll do it!” and his encouragement made me smile.

He grabbed the lube and put some on me and some on him. Almost immediately, I felt like I wasn’t going to make it. I could feel my whole body tighten up the moment he went for it and thank goodness for him in those moments. He put his hands on my chest, right above my breasts and pushed me down as he slowly and steadily pushed on. Every time I looked at him he would say sweet words that would relax me entirely. “You’re doing fine“, “You’re such a good little slut“, “You’re almost there“, “Good girl!” and when I suddenly tensed up and tried to pull off, he just kept me still and talked to me in that voice that makes me tingle.

When he was almost all the way in, he said, “I’m going to come kiss you now” and I nodded never taking my eyes off his.

Again, anal is one of those things that I like a lot more in fantasy than reality. Don’t get me wrong, when we’re doing it and we’re in the moment of it, it’s the hottest thing ever. And I love how, (because we don’t do anal very often…) when we do have a successful go at it, it becomes the thing that is talked about and spurs many more sexperiences. It’s a hot thing that we reminisce about it. But when it comes down to it, I find it to be uncomfortable sex for the most part.

There’s a point where it starts feeling really good, but often that point is completely overshadowed by the discomfort.

The change in position though, from him more leaning back while on top of me, to him up on top of me in our usual missionary position, definitely makes things slide a little easier and he finally gets past that uncomfortable point of penetration. And now he’s sliding in and out of me with ease and we both look at each other with surprise. That has never ever happened.

By this point, it feels like dirty kinky sex, even though it’s really not.

He’s still whispering/grunting sexy words into my ear or kissing my neck and jaw. My hands are mostly on his face or arms and I’m holding onto him rather tightly. It’s really very intimate and we’ve barely had a moment without eye contact. The exact conversation between us is a little hazy, but essentially I tell him I want him to cum in my ass and he calls me a slut again and then I respond with something like, “Fill up your cum dumpster” – which is so entirely unlike me, no idea where it came from. I swear we both literally stopped for a second, took in the word and like had to split-second decide how we felt about it.

Apparently, it worked very much for him and he quickly began pounding into me.

My hand tried to rub my clit as he swelled inside of me, the sensation almost entirely overwhelming me and I pushed my heels into his hips and grabbed roughly at the flesh on his back. He lifted his body up off of mine, both of us drenched in sweat and he moaned, “You need to cum on my cock!” and I frantically went to work on my clit. He stroked my legs, whispering that I was a good girl and that I was doing such a good job. He was almost completely limp by this point but still managing to keep himself buried comfortably inside of me.

I came very hard and without meaning to, dug my nails hard into his arms, hard into his back.

He held my head against his chest as I thrashed about beneath him and moved my hair out of my face as I panted and heaved against him. I could feel my nails tearing at his flesh as he began to slide out of me and I bucked wildly at the incredible sensation of him slipping out while I was still mid-anal orgasm. I couldn’t let him go and even though he was now moving away from me, I simply followed him, nails still desperately gripping his arms.

He stroked my hair and whispered, “You were such a good little slut“. He kissed me and I literally shivered!

But then it was all over. I released his arms, he laid down in his spot, asked if I wanted to lay on his chest. I did and within seconds, he was sound asleep. His arm wasn’t even wrapped around me or anything and I suddenly felt all vulnerable and filled with shame. I had to roll away from him because I couldn’t help but feel slightly mad at him for just leaving me here, in this space.

I slept really well, surprisingly. I haven’t been sleeping well for awhile now and especially since he’s been on holidays. Our bed is just not big enough for all of us. We woke up this morning and one of the first things he said to me was, “Mmm cum dumpster” and I felt a sense of awkwardness. I cuddled into his arm and nothing. He got up and went about getting coffees. That shameful feeling loomed.

To me, anal sex is kinky sex. And even if it wasn’t, intense sex deserves aftercare. And I desperately needed some!

After anal sex, I always feel like I need extra attention. I need a lot of reassurance that I did a good job and that I was pleasing and that I was sexy while it was happening. I need the reassurance that happened during it to be carried on – often for a good day afterwards. Even now, a whole day later, I’m still feeling like I need him to give me extra kisses or touch me extra softly. Because I feel breakable.

And a lot of times, even when he’s giving and giving, I’ll still feel like he’s not giving me the right kind of attention. Like he’s not saying the right words or touching me the right way. And honestly, I think that’s just me after anal sex or really any sex that leaves me feeling a little bit vulnerable and exposed. I also have to say that I kind of love the sex that leaves me feeling that way and even though the day after feels unbearable while I’m in it, I do enjoy being in it.

It took until late this afternoon before I felt like he had given me the attention I had needed.

The Rantings - For Adults 18+

Almost Been a Month….

I’m officially starting to get incredibly annoyed by the lack of sex around here. This is probably the longest The Boyfriend and I have ever gone without having any sexual contact whatsoever and honestly, it doesn’t even seem like either of us cares, and that is so entirely unlike us…

It’s been almost an entire month now… It made sense the two weeks he was out of town. We sexted during that time – once, and both of us were talking like his first night back would be filled with sex. Then he got back and that first night had no sex, not even a kiss more than a peck on the lips.

He had two days off a couple days ago. I thought we were going to have sex then. The first night, I ended up being grumpy about his game playing. Sometimes, I can’t help but feel a little jealous of the games – it’s just something that happens. But that second night, no idea why sex didn’t happen.

I’ll admit, I’m feeling a little apprehensive about having sex. I’m the biggest I’ve ever been thanks to baby and sex hasn’t been much on my mind. I can’t say that I feel particularly sexy. I feel big and awkward and functional – like my body is here to house a baby, not like it’s here to be sexualized. I’m nervous about bleeding or hurting or feeling baby kick upon penetration. And so I’m not initiating that intimacy like I usually do.

And of course, if I’m not initiating, neither is he…

I can’t tell if he’s not initiating because he’s not interested or because he thinks I’m not interested or if we’re both just thinking about pregnancy and therefore not thinking about sex. I can’t figure out if we’re both just too tired to get down to business or if there’s a discomfort for us around it or anything. And up until his last days off, I didn’t really care, but now I’m officially starting to care.

He’s been working a lot lately and that always puts a huge damper on our sex life. It puts a huge damper on a lot of things, because his mind is always filled with thoughts of work. Even when he’s not working, he’s worrying about work and I totally get it. It feels like we have no time for each other right now and that of course, affects our intimacy levels.

I’m worried that we won’t have sex again until I’m done being pregnant. And then, you have to wait the stupid 6 weeks after that and it’s already been almost a month of no sex. I’m worried about how it will affect our relationship not having sex for that long, especially being that we’ve never gone that long. I mean, sure we’ve gone awhile without penetrative sex, but we’ve never gone anything close to this long without heavy makeout sessions or blowjobs! I’m worried that eventually I’ll start taking the lack of intimacy out on him and it will take both of us far longer than it should to figure out that I’m pissy at him for the lack of sex.

At this point, I don’t even know when his next days off are, so I don’t even know when it might be possible to do anything. And then chances are, that day will come around and my vagina will be hurting or my back will be hurting or something will stand in the way of us getting down to loving. And while I feel like I could get through it right now, what will it be like a week from now?!? I just can’t believe that it’s already almost been a month…

The Rantings - For Everyone

The Kaeidyn Drama

Originally written around March 13th:

Parenting is the by far, the hardest thing I’ve ever done. And you’d think it would get easier as they got older, but the reality is that it just gets harder and harder. Since my last post, the Kaeidyn drama reached the boiling point today and we ended up going into the school and having a discussion with them.

As part of the school program, Kaeidyn’s able to use Google Hangouts. She enjoys it because she can keep in touch with her friends. And she knows that all the parents have access to her account and are regularly reading through her conversations. Last night, The Boyfriend checked in as usual and noticed some seriously disturbing messages.

One boy had sent her sexually explicit messages asking her to do a variety of sexual favors for him. No matter how often she said “No” or the number of ways in which she said it, the boy continued to ask her and push her – at one point even stating that he would force himself on her. One girl had sent her pictures of her cut arms and messages claiming that Kaeidyn was the cause of them. Immediately, The Boyfriend called me and we began hashing out a plan on how to deal with it.

We woke up early this morning and went down to the school to get it sorted out. We’ve had problems with the girl in the past and honestly, I’m incredibly concerned about her, so I wanted to bring that to the school’s attention right away. We met with the principal and it sounds like they will be talking to each of the kids we mentioned, including Kaeidyn. He will confer with Kaeidyn’s counselor and they will do what they can on their end.

The Boyfriend had been fuming prior to the meeting but was comforted by the meeting. I walked out more upset than I was before we had gone in. The feminist in me is angry at all men today and I don’t see it going away for a while.

All night and all morning, The Boyfriend kept saying things that just were a little off to me. After the boy pushes and pushes Kaeidyn, instead of saying “No“, she replied “Maybe” to the question “Would you have sex with me?“. This irritated The Boyfriend to no end and multiple times he said things that implied that Kaeidyn was inviting more advances. He kept saying that we should ground her off of Hangouts and essentially punish her for allowing herself to be violated, for not telling the parents immediately, for something. This is after the other night spending hours on the phone with Alfie basically listening to the same crap.

Then, we go into the principal and the language used, once again treats it like she’s instigating and she’s at fault. She’s “vulnerable” and “perky“, “attracts the boys” and “puts herself in the middle“. Again, no one is out and out saying, “It’s her fault!“, but almost implying that it is.

I remember being 11-years-old. You are sexual even when you’re not even aware that you are sexual. I remember one time sucking on a candy cane, like I did all the time. Except this particular year, a boy mentioned how sexy it was when I did that. I couldn’t understand how it was possibly sexy and relied on my Mom to tell me. Kaeidyn’s going through the exact same thing and the language used by all the men and even some of the women in our life, implies that she’s somehow at fault for how others’ see her.

It’s ridiculous how ingrained this thinking is in the mind’s of the people around me. It reminds me of when she was wearing short skirts and everyone immediately told her that she “would be raped” dressing in that way. And I feel like everyone is reacting to this negatively, except for me. And I can’t seem to convince anyone of how okay all of this is.

The reality is, that kid is growing up. And faster now than ever before. And in this time, we make the decision what kind of parents we’re going to be and what kind of relationship we’re going to have with her. And to be honest, it is a thousand times more important to me that she comes and talks to me when she’s ready to have sex than it is for me to not have her having sex. Of course, I don’t want my baby girl to have sex yet and I don’t want her out kissing boys and being surrounded by drama. But I know that I don’t control that, she does!

Added on March 26th:

After being talked to by the principal, the boy is no longer talking to Kaeidyn. He considers her to be a “snitch” and Kaeidyn has moved on and seems entirely un-phased by it. She has blocked the girl on Hangouts and has been attempting to steer clear of any drama.

The Dads have all seemed to simmer quite a bit and we haven’t had anymore discussions regarding it. Kaeidyn spent some time not using Hangouts, simply so all the parents could come back down to earth, and has only recently started up again – so far, so good.