Incredibly Interesting

The Rantings - For Adults 18+

I’m probably wrong when I say this, but it feels like we have been having more sex than we’ve ever had, ever!

And it’s not just that it’s a lot of sex. It’s a lot of very interesting, out-of-the-box, incredibly hot sex. I don’t know if he feels like he’s pushing his own personal boundaries a lot, but he definitely is. I feel like I’ve never experienced him like this – and straight up, I’m not complaining for one second.

Yesterday, we both checked a fantasy off our list. It’s something we’ve often joked about doing when we’re watching porn. Or when we make home movies for our own personal use. And so a quick 11-second clip was uploaded to Pornhub. We spent all day obsessing. He was chalk full of ideas and has listed a ton more videos that he wants to do.

He’s decided he wants to do an “Off the Beaten Path” series. I’m jealous that he came up with the idea long before I did! I don’t think I’ve ever looked at him with such adoration.

He had asked me not to cum after we had taken that walk. He was also mean and sent me all sorts of sexy messages before I went to bed. I had been on a week-long masturbating streak. So, the denial felt more epic than anything. The next day, I kept having sudden very noticeable twinges and gushes of wetness, but I was finding it hard to be aroused. More annoyed than aroused.

http://valerieraynetumbles.tumblr.com/post/161469985111/when-theboyfriend-is-at-work-and-wont-let-me-cum

Waiting for “release” during the next day, while also watching our clip get views, and being in this continual state of flirting and sexual tension with The Boyfriend, was incredibly sexy and when it was finally time to get started, I was beyond ready.

He wanted to start with a spanking. He wanted to make videos. I got dressed up, he got dressed up. He insisted I looked “innocent” with my mini skirt, lace and pigtails. I insisted he looked “incredible” with his vest, jeans and forearms. While it was a short spanking, it was a good spanking. We had cameras at two different spots in the room and it was interesting to see the spanking from these varying perspectives. It’s always very interesting to me when we watch back through these videos and the parts that I really don’t like are usually his favorites. It’s awfully funny how perception works!

My legs got an epic workout last night and I discovered muscles I forgot I had. Bent over the couch, unintentionally on my tip toes, I got a cramp in the back of my calf. Kneeling beneath him, feet under my bum and legs spread, I felt my ankles tingle, signaling they were beginning to fall asleep. One leg on the floor, the other lifted up onto the couch, I felt the whole back of my thigh burn.

Needless to say, positions were switched up frequently.

He was also trying to get a variety of videos and pictures during the whole thing – which I’m absolutely loving that he’s getting into. I said yesterday on FetLife, and I’ve alluded to it in the past, that I love when he plays photographer and I get to play model. Unfortunately, I often feel too shy, in front of him,to be as good of a model as I know I can be – so a lot of the pictures get vetoed by me before he even gets to see them. However, it doesn’t take away from the fact that it is definitely a huge turn-on for me. Huge!

We ended up losing a bunch of videos that were made that night. Neither of us can figure out how it happened and are sure that they must be somewhere, but where that is exactly, not sure. I haven’t been able to keep focus long enough to have the patience to figure it out, so we ended up just going with what we have, and ended up uploading another Pornhub clip… (although let’s be real, we can just call this one a video…!).

After the video was uploaded, we went upstairs to have more sensual and intimate sex than we’ve been having. Or at least that was the plan. It started with me on top and it was full of kissing and hands and eye contact. It’s been a long while since we had sex in, what I think is called, reverse cowgirl – me on top facing his toes. This particular position is rarely used because I often don’t feel very confident in the view – it’s a very open position, especially being that I tend to lean more forward – which is great when I’m in the mood to be looked at, not so much when I’m not.

This proved to be a lot for both of us and the next thing I knew, I was being mounted and fucked from behind. He wanted me to be noisy so he could get a recording of it. I came rather quickly, my hand just barely rubbing my clit but his cock hitting just the right angle inside of me. The recording continued as he pounded into me while I muttered all sorts of dirty things to him about filling me up and giving me his cock. The sensation of him cumming caused me to shudder beneath him.

This morning, he woke me up to 420 views on our second video, The Smoky Blowjob. We had expected to get more than our first video, but not hundreds¬†more. We’ve been checking into Pornhub all day to watch our views climb and see the comments on our videos. It’s been a great deal of fun.

Probably my most favorite thing though, is this exploration of fantasy that’s happening between us. The constant open communication about sexual things – like desires and limits. Being able to feel comfortable checking in with one another, “And how are you feeling about that?“, and not feeling shame in anyway. The sexual dialogue, which is what I’ve always wanted, is just being incredible right now. It’s making me feel all sorts of lovely things about him and us.

I’m definitely having fun during all of this, although it is kinda hard to feel connected to all of it. It’s interesting to me how the idea of “authentic sexuality” has re-appeared so much in my thoughts, after so long of not thinking of it. It’s interesting that the things that I keep saying most have a lot to do with being authentic and that that seems to be at the front of my mind. And in a way it feels like it’s not me and him experiencing these things – but like other people, people who aren’t us. It’s an interesting sensation and experience, one that has me largely in silence.

The Boyfriend keeps asking, “How are you doing?” and I keep not knowing how to respond, because I’m just kinda meh… I’m equating it to the post-sex blues and we’ll see how I feel after his first night back at work to see if it’s anything more. I’m definitely not looking forward to spending the night away from him and imagine it’ll be an early bedtime because I’ll decide I’m missing him too much.

We plan on getting more videos this weekend and are impatiently awaiting the arrival of our restraints and my Blog-A-Holic bra and underwear, because we have tons of ideas surrounding those things. Also interesting that clothing seems to be spawning fantasies for us… I feel like I’m learning a lot of about me, him, and us during all of this!

No Longer #FucketListed: An Over-The-Knee Spanking

The List - For Adults 18+

Since the very beginning of my creation of bucket lists, I have had “get an over-the-knee spanking” at the very top.

When I was pregnant with Carter (about 8ish years ago), The Boyfriend had agreed to spank me. It was a short-lived situation that was a lot of fun for me. But after we had Carter, spankings went completely out the window. And that over-the-knee spanking stayed on the list.

Well, no longer!!!

He’s been spoiling me a lot lately. We’ve had some stuff going on aka “the crap we’re going through” (I’m attempting to write posts about this, but its taking some serious time, so I’m not going to go into too much detail), but in one way or another, things are changing for us. I think he feels very insecure in our relationship right now – and not without cause – and so he’s over-compensating in other ways in an attempt to save what feels to him like a failing relationship. Although, I assure you and him both that I am not going anywhere and have no desire to!!!

Anyways, back to the point of this post…

So, the spoiling started a few days ago. We went on a trip to Wal-Mart to pick up a few things and I walked out with basically an entire summer wardrobe. A few shirts, pants and shorts and a bunch of new thongs that I picked out because I knew he would like them. Then of course, there was the trip to Drumheller and that whole experience (which I’m also writing a post about…). On his last night off, I decide to slip into one of the dresses we got and one of the thongs.

We’re sitting on the couch and he decides to moisturize my feet and legs. This doesn’t happen very often anymore, but used to be a regular occurrence for us. After he’s done, he tells me to lay across his lap. I figure he’s just planning on moisturizing the backs of my thighs or maybe give me a nice ass massage. He lifts up the hem of my dress and then…

Hard, hard, hard slap right on my left cheek.

I squirmed, I kicked, I yelped. He liked that and the next thing you know, we’re having a good long spanking session. A hard spanking session. No real warm-up, no gentleness. He had said earlier in the day during an intense discussion that we were “going to have angry sex tonight“, and his hands felt angry¬†but there was a tenderness in all the hardness.

I was all over the place on the couch across his legs. After the first few hits, every single one felt incredibly intense. My whole ass felt red everywhere, even though he had been hitting almost the exact same spot over and over on each cheek – save for the one closest to him. A few hits, just the edge of his palm or his fingertips, would nick between my legs and I would heave frantically – pain shooting through my insides and then subsiding in a way that literally made me feel the color red.

One good slap on my right cheek, sent me up on all fours and I collapsed with my head on his lap curled up in a ball. He wasn’t done with the spanking yet and continued to give me sporadic hard slaps in between drinking our coffees and smoking. When I laid back across his lap, in quick succession, three hard slaps on my left cheek. By now, that side felt fine for the most part – stingy but nicely numbing. So, the three hard slaps were gentle squirms, pleasurable wiggles, cooing. But then three hard slaps befell my right cheek. The second one caused me to kick up my legs and hold out my arms above my head, arch my back and squeal out. He had to hold my legs down to land the third hit and I swear I’ve never moved away from him faster.

He wanted pictures and told me to bend over the couch. Bright purple lines had begun forming all over both cheeks, especially the left one. You could see where he had hit hardest. Then, out of nowhere, the hardest slap. So hard that I still have a hand print leftover the next day! He was so sad that he didn’t get a video of my reaction. I flew forward and clasped onto the couch, bent down and moaned and groaned and whined, laughed out loud at the sensation, kept trying to stand up but the pain kept me crouching, gripping the couch for dear life!

He giggled and watched me squirm and wiggle and admired his handiwork. He came up behind me and stroked the hair out of my face and helped me to stand. Sitting on the couch was very hard, especially since I could feel the fabric of the couch through the soft dress that I was wearing, the coarse fabric scraping the welts that were now forming.

The sex afterwords was out of this world! My pussy actually ached when he woke me this morning for another round. I was bent over the arm of the couch, tied up for a short period, spread wide open and scrunched up in a tiny ball. He was on top, I was on top. Hands were absolutely everywhere and we were both drenched in sweat.

And I got so much amazing oral sex – like, I’m talking learned-new-things-about-how-wonderful-pleasure-can-be-type amazing!!! He spent time licking and kissing and sucking on things and in places that are rarely ever touched and kept doing this lovely thing with his lip coming up under my clit that would have my toes fiercely pointed. It was intimate and sensual and we were both surprised at how long it took me to cum. Which happened the first time kneeling over top of his face, with his hands going absolutely wild all over me.

There were so many intensely wonderful things happening everywhere. The crazy amount of eye contact – which typically isn’t a huge thing for The Boyfriend and I – during the fisting or the blowjob. His frequent use of his thumbs to either rub my clit or penetrate with, which I had told him that I had recently been fantasizing about a lot. There was also a lot of opportunity for each of us to admire each other – to admire his amazing body or to admire my vocalizations – especially being that we recently got a new picture taker AND for the first time in a few years brought the laptop up to make a home movie ūüėČ

All-in-all, it was one of the greatest nights in our sexperiences, although like I said to him after the spanking, I’m sad that it will always be remembered directly along with the “crap we’re going through“. I’m sad that it’s a marred spanking. However, on the other hand, it’s greatness supersedes that sadness. It was almost everything you want in a sexperience. It was hours and hours and hours of some of best sex The Boyfriend and I have ever had. Not only was there great sex, but there was really great discussions had throughout.

At one point, there was just playful teasing while we browsed Amazon for sex toys – specifically restraints, because he’s apparently really into that right now (no complaints here ūüėČ ūüėČ ūüėČ ). Lots of questions about interests and limit-setting – neither of us is interested in enemas, hard limit! Another point, he gave me two options: go up to bed, get tied up and fucked, or go on cam and get fucked (which is inline with the “crap we’re going through“) and I immediately said “no” to option number two.

It always fascinates me how an emotionally-charged declination of consent can still result in amazing sex!

Because of the “crap we’re going through“, there were some incredibly awkward points of the sexperience. After the spanking and some of the beginning not-orgasm-focused oral and sex, he abruptly said, “I better never catch you with another man” – which stopped everything dead in its tracks and resulted in a good cuddling/comfort session. Or when I tried to explain, through very cryptic and broken sentences, that I absolutely hated that it took me breaking his heart to, nine years later, finally get an over-the-knee spanking or that I was worried that in some way he had felt obligated to spank me to be able to keep me – that he didn’t do it because he wanted to but because he felt like he had to. There were deep conversations mixed into all the sexiness going on and it made everything feel all that much more intense.

The worst part for both of us was when he came. We were trying really hard to cum together. He held off for so long and let me have two orgasms already. So, by the time he’s getting ready to cum and I’m on top and working on that third orgasm, it’s just not happening. He ends up cumming first at my encouragement. He’s decided he absolutely doesn’t like when this happens, because he ends up falling asleep without meaning to. He felt really bad afterwards that he had had to force himself to stay awake for my third and final orgasm of the night. I assured him that it hadn’t changed how I felt about the night.

We were open and vulnerable and wounded. It was beautiful and it hurt. It made me feel so much. And I desperately needed that!

I was expecting to feel more of the post-sex blues that I typically have the day after really mind-blowing sex between us. I was expecting to feel exhausted from the lack of sleep. I was expecting to be reeling mentally when I had time to think about all the things that happened last night. I was expecting to need some serious aftercare or for him to need it. But today, aside from aching thighs and a very tender, gently bruised backside, I feel really good. I feel full of love and optimistic and just really good. Waking up to another dose of sex and then spending the morning exchanging adoring glances with The Boyfriend has just really made everything feel blissful.

I Caved Because That’s What I Do

The Rantings - For Everyone

Written about a week ago:

I stopped saying “I love you” nine days ago…

I didn’t think he had noticed and now that I think about it, it took him quite a few days to notice. Day seven, I started getting upset that he wasn’t noticing, so I said, “I can’t believe it’s been seven days“. After a few wrong guesses he said, “Since you said you loved me?” and I looked at him almost surprised that he had actually figured it out.

I said, “Oh really? You noticed?!?

He said, “I kinda thought something was up the other night on Facebook.

I said, “And you didn’t think to say anything?!?

The conversation basically ends and we spend the next half hour in awkward silence. He leaves for work and doesn’t say “I love you“, like he always does and has been doing for the last eight years.

I send him a Facebook message. “FYI, choosing to not say “I love you” to me is definitely not the way to deal with me not saying it for the past 8 days. Unless you want to become the type of couple that doesn’t say it…

He responds on his lunch break, I’m assuming mostly jokingly that, “Maybe I’ve been saying it too much for you lately.

I send him back a novel-length rant about¬†how it would be nice if instead of just assuming what I’m thinking, he would ask. I rant at him, “Do you not care?!?” and throw in some un-useful profanities and then just abandon my argument, “Forget I said, or didn’t say, anything!“. I’m tired, I don’t feel like talking about it anymore, I’ve given up. So, I go to bed and don’t say anything for the rest of the night.

This morning, he comes home from work. You can see the upset all over his face, but he plays it cool and comes and grabs baby and makes it seem like he’s giving me the option to sleep in. I was just going to sleep but my bladder wouldn’t give up, so I came down to go to the washroom. Then, I sat on the couch with him.

After a little while of a tense silence, he says, “I was going to respond to you last night. Wrote a bunch on my lunch break and then deleted it…“. I couldn’t help a sarcastic, “That’s great!“. A few more minutes of silence and then he says timidly, “Maybe I haven’t been caring very much lately.” and of course, I’m completely taken aback. Because I seriously thought I was being irrational when I said it.

Ever since my birthday…“, he adds.

On his birthday this year, we were having an especially rough week. Money wasn’t working out, the kids were all being absolutely out of control, shit just wasn’t being friendly to us. On his birthday morning, when I very first woke up, before I had even had my first sip of coffee or was even aware that it was March 3rd, he was desperate to hear “Happy Birthday“. And I get it, it was the big 3-0.

So, he’s absolutely right. I was a total bitch that day for not making a bigger deal of his birthday. And the bad girlfriend award goes to…

But I couldn’t help but be slightly upset. Because yet again, here we are – I bring up a problem that I’m having, in the way that I always bring it up – awkwardly! But instead of discussing why I’m having a problem or what my issue is, it suddenly gets flipped to why he’s having a problem or what his issue is and how it’s all my fault…

I just honestly didn’t feel like talking about it in this direction. He’s supposed to care about why I haven’t been saying it. And could I tell you exactly why I haven’t been? Not completely. I think I have a list of things, but for every single one of them, I could tell you exactly how he would respond to make it my fault. And he wouldn’t be wrong. He asks with a hint of snark, “So then, why haven’t you been saying it?“. Bottom lip quivering, voice shaking, I threw up my hands and said, “What’s the point?!?“.

The conversation was dropped entirely. Until he went to go up to bed – at a decent hour, might I add!

We cuddled on the couch for a long time. Then he hugged me and said he had to go to bed. “I really do love you so much…. Much more than you think I do.“, and I mumbled into his neck that I wanted to come to bed with him. He invited me up and we went and crawled into bed. While what he said is amazing and sweet and beautiful, it’s not what I wanted to hear or how I wanted the conversation to end.

I’m well aware of the fact that he loves me. There is no doubt in my mind. And I hope that I’ve made it very clear to him that this has nothing to do with me not loving him because I’ve never loved anyone the way that I love him. But me not saying “I love you” to him had nothing to do with love.

I wanted him to notice! And then care! And be interested!

Let’s be real – we don’t have that much in common. He likes action movies, I like dramas. He likes videogames, I like blogging. He likes Star Wars, I like Star Trek. I’m kinky, he’s vanilla!!!! We don’t have much in common.

And this is where I get the great girlfriend award! I take on his interests so that we do share something. I play his vidoegames and keep up on the news so that when E3 rolls around and he starts wishlisting games like crazy, I know what he’s talking about. I listen to the Star Wars news years before the movies are even considering being released and keep up on which Jedi did what. I pay fucking attention!!

But, in 8 years, he hasn’t read a single one of my blog posts… When I play guitar, he turns away from me with his videogame volume up and is totally focused on an online game – so he doesn’t even try to keep the kids quiet for a session… He’s never opted in to watching any of my YouTube videos – unless I put them on when he’s sitting next to me… He shows no interest in my interests whatsoever and can hardly even fake it if I’m talking about it. He literally looks completely dazed if I start talking about how I can’t form a barre chord or that my domain registration needs to be renewed in a few months!

And yet again, falling asleep during my attempt at a second orgasm just totally blew the whole thing up in my face!

I wanted him to notice me. And care about me. And be interested in me. So, I stopped saying “I love you“, in hopes that he would take notice of the fact that I wasn’t saying our most favorite words in the whole world. In hopes that he would care why I wasn’t. In hopes that he would be interested. But, that wasn’t the case…

I can never stand when there is that awkward tension between us.¬†I hate when there’s silence and when our arms aren’t wrapped around each other. I especially can’t stand it when it begins to feel like all those feelings are irrational in some way. I just want it to end and he doesn’t typically end it (he’d probably say something like, “Because you never give me a chance!”). He can give me the silent treatment for days. So, I’ll normally drop it and that’s exactly what I did.

I told him I loved him on the 9th day. I meant every word of it.

What I Learnt From A Month of Orgasms

The Rantings - For Adults 18+

It’s always been #FucketListed for me to orgasm everyday for an entire month.

I mean, sure, I’d love to do it everyday for the rest of my life, but I was trying to be realistic. However, I never really thought I would do it but then I realized a couple days ago that I’m 3 weeks into orgasming everyday at least once a day and figured I should just hold out for 7 more days and then I can un-#FucketListed this!

Sometimes, I had an orgasm during sex and sometimes I had an orgasm from masturbation. Almost always I came from manual (hands/fingers) stimulation of my clit – except for the odd oral orgasm. Sometimes, The Boyfriend was there, actively participating or falling asleep and sometimes, he was at work and I was alone. Every single time was in my bed.

So, what I have learnt about myself, my body and my sexuality over this month-long sexperiment?

  1. The More I Masturbate, The Longer It Takes

    Week 1, I would spend typically 15 – 20 minutes to get to The Big O¬†– unless The Boyfriend was lying next to me sleeping, in which case, it would normally take longer. This last week (so Week 3/4), I haven’t had a single night take me less than 45 minutes

  2. My Mind Runs Wild

    When it comes to sex, The Boyfriend and I typically tend to do the same things over and over again. Not like we have gotten into some rut, but because we both know what we like and we like to do the things that we enjoy. So, we do them!

    But during this month of orgasming daily, my mind has been going wild with all sorts of interesting things. Some nights, I like to stick to fantasizing about what we actually do. But other nights, my mind dips into fantasies I didn’t even know that I had and I’m always surprised at how it keeps coming up with all new things.

    I’ve never had so many sexual fantasies on my brain all the time!

  3. Orgasms Feel Really Good

    After a long and stressful day of cooking and cleaning and dealing with the kids and a baby, nothing feels better than crawling into bed and reaching my hands down my pants. And even though getting to the orgasm can sometimes feel like an unbearable amount of work and I sweat more during the mission than at any other time, that release is the best feeling ever!

    When my muscles all contract and things pulse. I just feel so good. And sleep comes so quickly after working towards my goal for 45 minutes and then achieving it. So much peace!!

  4. Periods Suck!!!

    So, orgasming for 3 weeks… That shit was easy! Week 4 is going to be a challenge. And I never considered this prior to experiencing it, but I forgot entirely that every month, you bleed for a week! Probably because I was just pregnant and didn’t bleed for a long time, but man oh man.

    Orgasms feel incredibly good when you’re on your period. They ease a lot of the unpleasant symptoms of menses. However, there is nothing less arousing than having to push your pad out of the way and hope that you don’t get blood all over your fingers.

  5. One Is Almost Never Enough

    I’m absolutely a 2-orgasm kinda girl. That first orgasm just doesn’t do it for me. It’s like foreplay for me, it just turns me on more. The wetness from that first orgasm always makes where a second is necessary. Only when I was so exhausted that I couldn’t move anymore did I not go for a second.

    Sometimes, a second isn’t even good enough and I had a number of nights where there were upwards of five. The more I did it, the more I felt like I could do more. And when I didn’t go for more when I felt the urge to, I felt like it wasn’t as great of a night, wasn’t as successful, wasn’t as pleasurable. Rarely was the first orgasm good enough to just leave it at that.

I thought after having an orgasm everyday for a month that I would have some sort of cathartic experience where I knew my body and my soul better. I would be in touch with some sort of deeper me. But the reality is, the most prolific thing that I learnt during this sexperience, is that I really love orgasms!

I really love the act of working towards an orgasm. I love exploring the dirty thoughts in my mind and just giving myself over to the pleasure. I love the involuntary rocking and pulsing and throbbing and buildup and release. I love “the final paroxysm” and the way my body tightens and contracts in this amazing rhythm that feels like my own personal symphony. And I love that floaty head feeling, when all your limbs are limp and your heartbeat returns to normal and you can feel the heat of your flushed cheeks.

Could I go for longer than a month? I don’t think so. Could I go for a year? I definitely don’t think so. Would I learn something new if I went longer? Maybe… Orgasms take a lot out of you for how wonderful and amazing they are. It’s not only physically exhausting to be having one or more orgasms everyday, it’s also mentally exhausting. Does the experience make me want more orgasms? Yes, absolutely.

I’m Mad At Him, And I Don’t Think He’s Noticed

The Rantings - For Adults 18+

I’m not mad at him for any good or particular reason. But it’s pissing me off more that he’s not noticing.

It all started a few nights ago. We had really great sex. I orgasmed during it but as usual, wanted to have that second orgasm. When he cums, it turns me on so much. I always want an orgasm afterwards, otherwise I spend the next few days until we have sex again, absolutely and utterly aroused. So, I always go for a second orgasm.

But, he’s already cum. He works, he’s a Dad, he’s tired at the best of times. Add in a great orgasm and it’s near impossible for him to stay awake afterwards. Sometimes, I don’t mind and will bring myself to orgasm as he falls asleep next to me and it’s okay and I’m fine with it. Sometimes, it makes me upset and angry and I bring myself to orgasm just to spite him – even though he sleeps right through it, so really, doesn’t affect him.

If I’m especially angry at him, as I was after this really great sex, I’ll intentionally fantasize about another guy. Another guy coming into my room and taking over the monumental task of bringing me to my second orgasm. He’s not there to have sex with me or make me feel loved or any of that bullshit, his job is purely to get between my legs and love my pussy until I explode into orgasm. I always feel guilty after this fantasy.

I woke up the next day really mad at him for yet again falling asleep on me. I get that he’s tired, I’m sympathetic. But there is no way in hell that I would fall asleep during his orgasm – regardless of how long it was taking to get there or if it was his first or fifth. I’m a Mom raising 5 kids, I’m exhausted too, but I would never just pass out and make him work for it himself. In the last year, he’s literally had to work for 1 of his orgasms – 1!!! We weren’t in the same province and he had to work for 1 orgasm – which, might I add, I stayed awake for and watched while we were videocalling each other!!!

Like, it just makes me want to scream. It makes me wonder why no one cares about my orgasm. Especially when he’s always claiming, “Oh, I love it when you orgasm. I love to watch you cum!” blah blah fucking blah!!!

Then, his sleep schedule has been all over the place. First, he was sleeping when all the kids were at school. A lot of times, I’d just stay in bed with him. Then, we had baby and he’s an early riser. So, I’d get out of bed when he got home from work in the morning and then he would sleep after the kids got home from school. Then, out of nowhere, he’s started doing where he sleeps for part of the morning, gets out of bed for the afternoon and then finishes off his sleep with a nap before work. This constant changing of a sleep schedule that was working for us is absolutely getting to me.

Every time he closes his eyes, I feel an immediate anger at him. It feels like all he’s ever doing lately is sleeping. And I know that’s not true. I know he’s not getting anymore hours than he used to, I know he’s not getting deep, well-rested sleeps. But I can’t help but feel jealous that yet again he gets to crawl into bed and yet again he gets time without the kids and yet again…

Also had my first period back since the miscarriage. It was one of the roughest periods I’ve had in awhile – cramps, more bleeding than usual, massive mood swings – it was all over the place. And I’m guessing it probably has been contributing to the anger I feel towards The Boyfriend right now. I have to go through all these lady problems while he gets to just sit back and not have to experience it or go without orgasms because no one wants to touch a bleeding vagina and just argh!!

Holiday Fantasy Fulfilled

The Rantings - For Adults 18+

I swear he’s inside my head!

We decided last night, that even though we were going to bed earlier than we have been, we were going to watch porn. We’ve been saying it for a few days now and keep putting it off and putting it off until eventually it’s 4 AM and the sex is going to take 2 hours and the baby will be in 4, so porn doesn’t get watched because ain’t nobody got time for that shit!

But last night, we made time. Honestly though, the porn barely got watched.

It started on the couch. I had already been ready to go for a long time and when he pulled his cock out of his pants, I happily went about licking and sucking it while he picked videos – although really, he just flipped through 20 pages of videos until finally I just threw one on. He’s really enjoying trying to shove as much of himself as he can into my mouth and I have honestly been sucking at deepthroating lately, which is so not me! I get to a certain point and then just close up entirely. I don’t know if he’s noticed or not, but he sure is enjoying it lately.

In between watching the porn or kissing him or licking him, I was desperate to talk. Kept telling him to “tell me something interesting” or asking him questions. I’ve been having a lot of fantasies lately and I was curious if he’s had any. He doesn’t really have a lot of fantasies because he likes his sex rather boring. But for a long time FFM threesomes have been on both of our lists. After the week of the anal sex fantasy that I was having, I suddenly switched hardcore into FFM threesomes and so when he said it, I literally laughed out loud. He’s so in my head.

It wasn’t long before we were saying that we should go upstairs.

I was on top first and neither of us wanted full on penetration yet. I was incredibly wet though and placed him between my lips and let him slide around underneath of me. Our hands were everywhere. I remember his in my hair and mine on his lips, at some point he was holding me up under my boobs and I couldn’t reach him, and then his thumb nestled onto my clit.

I came quickly and much faster than I had wanted to. But, he wasn’t done!

I allowed him to enter me during my orgasm and his face lit up as I gently circled my hips on him. I leaned back, it was getting so hot and I was absolutely covered in sweat. He sat up and shoved my breast in his mouth as he rocked beneath me, his hands all over my back and in my hair. He laid me back and made sure my head was all supported and brought his lips right up to my ear.

I knew he was going to say something and I held my breath in anticipation.

It seemed to take forever. He pulled back just enough to be able to see my face, he wanted to watch my response. In possibly the hottest voice he’s ever had during sex, he half-whispered, half-grunted, “Are you going to be my good little slut tonight?“. Ugh, just writing it out and I can feel it in my clit. There are very few times he calls me the names I really like being called during sex. To him, calling a person a slut or whore or bitch is disrespectful, even if they are literally begging for it!

It’s one of those things that I absolutely love and hate about him.

I answered, “I’ll try!“, knowing that he was asking permission to try for anal. We’ve never tried it with me on my back before, even though it’s been a recurring fantasy of mine. We’ve tried and failed a lot with anal and the times that we have been successful either involve me on my stomach or while spooning. So, I honestly didn’t think it was going to happen. He said knowingly, “You’ll do it!” and his encouragement made me smile.

He grabbed the lube and put¬†some on me and some on him. Almost immediately, I felt like I wasn’t going to make it. I could feel my whole body tighten up the moment he went for it and thank goodness for him in those moments. He put his hands on my chest, right above my breasts and pushed me down as he slowly and steadily pushed on. Every time I looked at him he would say sweet words that would relax me entirely. “You’re doing fine“, “You’re such a good little slut“, “You’re almost there“, “Good girl!” and when I suddenly tensed up and tried to pull off, he just kept me still and talked to me in that voice that makes me tingle.

When he was almost all the way in, he said, “I’m going to come kiss you now” and I nodded never taking my eyes off his.

Again, anal is one of those things that I like a lot more in fantasy than reality. Don’t get me wrong, when we’re doing it and we’re in the moment of it, it’s the hottest thing ever. And I love how, (because we don’t do anal very often…) when we do have a successful go at it, it becomes the thing that is talked about and spurs many more sexperiences. It’s a hot thing that we reminisce about it. But when it comes down to it, I find it to be uncomfortable sex for the most part.

There’s a point where it starts feeling really good, but often that point is completely overshadowed by the discomfort.

The change in position though, from him more leaning back while on top of me, to him up on top of me in our usual missionary position, definitely makes things slide a little easier and he finally gets past that uncomfortable point of penetration. And now he’s sliding in and out of me with ease and we both look at each other with surprise. That has never ever happened.

By this point, it feels like dirty kinky sex, even though it’s really not.

He’s still whispering/grunting sexy words into my ear or kissing my neck and jaw. My hands are mostly on his face or arms and I’m holding onto him rather tightly. It’s really very intimate and we’ve barely had a moment without eye contact. The exact conversation between us is a little hazy, but essentially I tell him I want him to cum in my ass and he calls me a slut again and then I respond with something like, “Fill up your cum dumpster” – which is so entirely unlike me, no idea where it came from. I swear we both literally stopped for a second, took in the word and like had to split-second decide how we felt about it.

Apparently, it worked very much for him and he quickly began pounding into me.

My hand tried to rub my clit as he swelled inside of me, the sensation almost entirely overwhelming me and I pushed my heels into his hips and grabbed roughly at the flesh on his back. He lifted his body up off of mine, both of us drenched in sweat and he moaned, “You need to cum on my cock!” and I frantically went to work on my clit. He stroked my legs, whispering that I was a good girl and that I was doing such a good job. He was almost completely limp by this point but still managing to keep himself buried comfortably inside of me.

I came very hard and without meaning to, dug my nails hard into his arms, hard into his back.

He held my head against his chest as I thrashed about beneath him and moved my hair out of my face as I panted and heaved against him. I could feel my nails tearing at his flesh as he began to slide out of me and I bucked wildly at the incredible sensation of him slipping out while I was still mid-anal orgasm. I couldn’t let him go and even though he was now moving away from me, I simply followed him, nails still desperately gripping his arms.

He stroked my hair and whispered, “You were such a good little slut“. He kissed¬†me and I literally shivered!

But then it was all over. I released his arms, he laid down in his spot, asked if I wanted to lay on his chest. I did and within seconds, he was sound asleep. His arm wasn’t even wrapped around me or anything and I suddenly felt all vulnerable and filled with shame. I had to roll away from him because I couldn’t help but feel slightly mad at him for just leaving me here, in this space.

I slept really well, surprisingly. I haven’t been sleeping well for awhile now and especially since he’s been on holidays. Our bed is just not big enough for all of us. We woke up this morning and one of the first things he said to me was, “Mmm cum dumpster” and I felt a sense of awkwardness. I cuddled into his arm and nothing. He got up and went about getting coffees. That shameful feeling loomed.

To me, anal sex is kinky sex. And even if it wasn’t, intense sex deserves aftercare. And I desperately needed some!

After anal sex, I always feel like I need extra attention. I need a lot of reassurance that I did a good job and that I was pleasing and that I was sexy while it was happening. I need the reassurance that happened during it to be carried on – often for a good day afterwards. Even now, a whole day later, I’m still feeling like I need him to give me extra kisses or touch me extra softly. Because I feel breakable.

And a lot of times, even when he’s giving and giving, I’ll still feel like he’s not giving me the right kind of attention. Like he’s not saying the right words or touching me the right way. And honestly, I think that’s just me after anal sex or really any sex that leaves me feeling a little bit vulnerable and exposed. I also have to say that I kind of love the sex that leaves me feeling that way and even though the day after feels unbearable while I’m in it, I do enjoy being in it.

It took until late this afternoon before I felt like he had given me the attention I had needed.

The Boyfriend’s On Holidays!!! (And I have a fantasy…)

The Rantings - For Adults 18+

And I have a fantasy that I want fulfilled!

I told him today that for the past week I’ve been masturbating every night to the exact same fantasy. It always starts the same way, always contains common elements (with very little variation) and always ends the same way. It all started after a very successful anal session and ever since, my mind has been stuck there!

In my fantasy, it all starts laying up in bed. I’m on my stomach and he’s rubbing my ass. We used to regularly give each other ass rubs, but in the past few years it’s an activity that has really gone by the wayside. I get a very quick rub right before anal attempts now, but nothing like I used to. In my fantasy, it’s like the old days. Long, drawn out, incredibly sensual and causes the most insane wetness.

In my fantasy, in some way or another, he gets me up on my hands and knees. A couple nights after browsing very rough sex on Tumblr, he would pull my hair and yank me up or he would wrap his hand around my throat to lift me up. Other nights, if there was oral sex on my brain, then he would be more gentle with me and playful almost. The view of my ass in the air and my back arched causes him to respond in the way that he does when he enjoys what he sees, and that response (both in real life and in this fantasy) is such an extreme turn on for me.

He plays in my wetness, which at this point is literally dripping down my leg, with either his fingers or his cock. He remarks about it and either calls me a good girl or baby girl – again depends on what kind of mood I’m in prior to starting the fantasy – and only one of those things does he ever actually call me! The other one, he doesn’t even know I fantasize about him calling me it and I’m too shy to admit it ūüėČ

Sometimes, especially if I’m trying to draw out my inevitable orgasm, he’ll give me oral and I’ll fantasize that he buries his head between my legs and pushes his tongue into me. Other times, he jumps right into to trying for anal. And unlike in real life, he glides in with ease. In real life, the initial penetration is often a very slow process. It’s often really gentle and intimate and he gently strokes me until I relax and then he’ll push just a little deeper and wait for me to relax again. In my fantasies, it is not like that at all. It would be quick penetration, rough and hard and big strong hands grabbing and smacking at every inch of available flesh.

In my fantasy, he pulls all the way out of me and pushes back into me, fast and hard and over and over again. We have both mentioned a great desire to do this and just have not gotten up the guts to try it. So far, our experience has been that if he pulls all the way out, he’s not getting back in. I just tighten up entirely, but not in my fantasies. In my fantasy, I turn and watch him watching himself inside of me and that look on his face makes the whole thing amazing.

He flips me over onto my back and lifts my legs up. My pussy is absolutely glistening and he smiles at me before rubbing his one hand over my leg and the other around my wetness. He slides back into my ass, this time very slowly, gripping at any piece of me that his hands can get a good hold on. He coaxes me the way that he does during real-life anal sex, lots of “Good girls” and telling me that I’m doing a good job or that he’s almost there, or describing how amazing it looks.

When he is finally entirely consumed by me, he slides one finger, then two fingers, then more fingers into my waiting pussy. His firm fingers expertly stroke deep within me as he cock slides easily in and out of my ass and we are moving in this synchronous manner, when he suddenly pulls his hand out of me and roughly slaps my clit and then he slides his fingers back into me and continues that expert stroking. He repeats this a few times, sometimes adding more slaps, something slapping harder, sometimes almost rubbing more than slapping.

In real life, I often cum very easily from anal sex. For someone who isn’t really a big fan of it mentally, my body sure hasn’t gotten the message. My fantasy is no different. However, unlike real life, I begin squirting as he’s thrusting in and out of me. His reaction to it in my fantasy is normally the thing that pushes me over the edge and typically as I’m cumming¬†in real life, I picture him cumming in my head and it’s honestly rather blissful.

It’s no wonder that it’s a recurring fantasy!!

5 Things That Happened During My Hiatus

The Rantings - For Everyone

My hiatus officially began in the fall of 2016 and by Christmas, I had shut down my blog and turned its maintenance feature on. I went silent on social networks for awhile and allowed The Erotic Writers Group (which at the time had about 750 members and of which I am the sole moderator) to run itself. I explained the reasons why in the post Welcome Back… Finally!!!, so today I wanted to tell you about 5 relatively major life events that happened during my hiatus.

  1. Cazzwell’s Birth

    We had hoped it wouldn’t happen in September and he heard us and came on the last day of August. I woke up from contractions in the late afternoon. Kaeidyn insisted we wake The Boyfriend up and he insisted we go straight to the hospital the moment he saw my face.

    In what was called a “precipitous labor” (which Google has informed me means a labor that takes less than 3 hours from start to finish), we welcomed Cazzwell into the world. The first few weeks were an adjustment to say the least. He took awhile getting back up to his birth weight, so there were more doctors visits and home visits than we had been anticipating, which made things more stressful. The kids all wanted to be such big help but hadn’t had much experience with newborns, so lots of heart stopping moments. And, there was a new baby in our house for the first time seven years… So, there was that…

    In the last almost 6 months, he’s grown exceptionally fast. Sprouted his first tooth at 4 months, he sits up all by himself and now he’s figuring out crawling – already up on the hands and knees, kinda rocks himself and then falls forward onto his belly. You’d be amazed at how far across a room he can make it like that! Everywhere we go, all anyone can talk about is how quickly he’s growing up.

  2. I Turned 30

    The best thing about turning 30 was definitely The Boyfriend! After the kids broke my last laptop, he went out and got me a new one. Then, spent the day making me feel like his sexy older woman, because that’s a thing now until he turns 30 (very soon – muwhahaha!). The kids were all sweet before school, waking me up with Happy Birthdays but after school, they were their normal usual bratty selves.

    I had made a lot of plans for things that I wanted to have done in my life by the time I was 30. I wanted to be married – even telling¬†The Boyfriend that if he hadn’t married me by the time I was 30, it wasn’t going to happen. I wanted to have a career and be on my way to owning a home and have my driver’s licence and know where my g-spot is…

    Alas, that was not what coming into 30 has been like, at all. I’m still only common-law and at this point probably always will be. I’m jobless in a rented townhouse being driven around by my much-more-amazing-than-I-deserve boyfriend and I still orgasm from clitoral stimulation only! I honestly thought I would be a lot more upset about it. And I was, on the 13th day of November, devastated. But then, when I woke up the next day, I was washed in gratitude and so far, that is what 30 has been for me. Everyday, I look at what life has given and is giving me and I am just so grateful!

  3. Got a Guitar

    I posted on Facebook that I missed having a guitar. I do it every time I’m without a guitar for any length of time. One of my maternal aunts, who I sadly never talk to anymore, commented asking when I’d be home. A day or two later, she brought over a guitar.

    It’s nothing crazy special and she’s not super amazing, but holding a guitar in my hands again feels really good! I’ve been doing terribly at playing her and am saddened when I think about how much time she spends put away. But it’s been a long time since I’ve played and so often times, it feels like I’m having to relearn everything I already know or like I just absolutely suck. And sometimes, I can have fun in that place where I’m sucking and just go with it and smile, but other times, it just makes me not want to play for a while.

    Plus, none of the people in my house seem to have any respect for a guitar session!! I can play through a lot of things, but lately, it has been exceptionally hard to play through my family.

    From The Boyfriend, who¬†not only doesn’t listen to me play at all (which always bothers me a little bit) but also has to leave the volume up just enough on his games to be completely distracting, to the older children who decide that the moment I start playing is the moment to ask me questions and tell me every detail about whatever game it is they are playing (or in the case of Kaeidyn, which anime she’s watching…) to the baby who apparently isn’t very fond of guitar (or maybe it’s the guitar over top of all the other noises) because I have only had one session so far that wasn’t interrupted by a total tantrum.

  4. Almost Baby #6

    Sometime near the middle of January, we discovered that we were pregnant again. Definitely not what we had wanted or were expecting. I was literally shaking and sweating as I took the second test, because we didn’t trust the first one. We waited a week until we told his sister and mom and then we told the kids. Kaeidyn literally broke down in tears and told us we “can’t have anymore kids!” and only Carter seemed excited. We didn’t tell my mom until…

    Two weeks later, I had a day of some pretty intense cramps and some bleeding and about a week after that, I – as the doctors put it – “expelled the tissue”. I cried hard, really hard. Harder than I had expected to. Not because I was upset that I had lost the baby. That I was mostly relieved by because I don’t feel ready to have a Baby #6. I was upset because I had miscarried. Because I had had to feel it and experience it. Because I couldn’t maintain a life. Because, yet again, I had failed.

    Ultimately, I haven’t been all that affected by it. I spent a few days in a constantly-near-tears state and The Boyfriend was there every time to hold me tight and I came to terms with it relatively easily. Again, not expecting that. I was just saying to The Boyfriend today that I’m glad we weren’t trying, because we aren’t entirely devastated over it. I think if we were trying or even if it was like the other kids where we weren’t necessarily trying but we weren’t doing anything to prevent it, then I think we would have both been ruined by it – I know I would.

  5. #ReDesign2017

    I fell out of love with my blog. It happens more often than I’d like to admit. In the olden days, I would’ve just started a new blog. But I have a domain now, I pay for stuff, I have commitments. So, I undertook the epic challenge of redesigning ValerieRayne.com.

    Honestly, it took a heck of a lot longer than I wanted it to and it was a heck of a lot harder than I was anticipating! Right now though, I’m feeling like it was totally worth it. It inspired me to pick up projects that I had been neglecting, inspired me to start doing #ThrowbackThursdays on Facebook, and I have pages and pages of thoughts and ideas to continue inspiring me. I have fallen back in love with my blog.

    I’ve got lots of plans over the next little while. You’ll see the return of #FridayFavorites and #TumblrFavorites – both even better than they were before. New erotica will be coming your way, especially as The Erotic Writers Group heats up for 2017. I officially started working on The Brighton Tales again and maybe another book *wink*. Some of my biggest goals here this year center around The Sims, The List and The Gallery – all of which I’d like to see a lot more posts in! And as always, I invite you to leave me comments and let me know what you’d like to see more of and I’ll do my best!

The beginning of my life as a 30-year-old mom of five in 2017 (there’s 3 changes in a sentence!)¬†has been filled with ups and downs and weird squiggly lines. It’s been filled with changes and tears and so much gratitude and love. And¬†I’m just so excited glad to be back from my ¬†hiatus. I’m looking forward to 2017 on ValerieRayne.com! Are you?

Wake Up Sex

This post is intended for adults 18+

Every night when we lay down to go to sleep together, he puts his hand on my hip or wraps it around my waist. Most of the time, I can feel his fingers mindlessly tracing back and forth as he drifts off to sleep and slowly his fingers go limper and limper until his hand is flatly and comfortably resting.

This particular night, he wrapped his hand about me as usual. His fingers did their limp to flat resting as usual. But instead of putting me to sleep, as it usually does, I could feel myself becoming more and more aroused. His hand rested right below my breast and his finger kept twitching in a way that would just nick my nipple and I’d find myself holding my breath in anticipation for the next twitch.

I sleep with one hand between my legs, warmed by my thighs. I could feel the heat of my arousal permeate down to my hand and I felt the urge to travel upwards. I could tell he was getting closer and closer to being entirely asleep because he was breathing heavier and his hand moved far less. I laid next to him, on our sides, gently rubbing my clit through my pants. I lifted my leg slightly to give myself more room and he took it as the signal to move over. He rolled onto his back and I rolled onto mine and I looked over at him, now more deeply asleep and imagined waking him up with sex.

My whole body loved the idea so much and sweat formed on my brow as I reached beneath my pants.¬†We’ve both talked often about doing this to one another and will often go to sleep saying something like, “And if you wake me up with sex, that’s okay!” and he’s been able to wake me up many time with sex, but I have never had the opportunity. He’s never been sleeping the right way for me to even attempt to do it. And it’s not waking a person up with sex when you say, “Hey, wake up for sex!” – or at least, not in the context that we wanted to be woken up.

I thought about him laying on his back. I watched his chest rise and fall. I wondered if he was dreaming. My curiosity turned to fantasizing and I found myself reaching my fingers out to him. This was my opportunity!

I slowly slid my hand over to him and down his pants. His arm moved and I retracted my hand, not sure if I felt confident enough to be caught. Even though we had said this was okay to do, I wasn’t sure if I wanted to wake him up. But when he settled, I couldn’t resist going in once more.

His cock laid limply on his leg and I lifted it into my palm and gave a gentle squeeze. He moved his legs and I could tell it was because his balls were catching on his thigh. I gave a soft tug and he eased back to sleep. His cock grew slightly and then shrunk back down and I continued to stroke him gently as my other hand played with my clit. As he began to harden, he reached down to rub away the annoying sensation he was feeling in his sleep and I moved my hand away to let him do his thing. He adjusted himself, tossing from side to side a few times as he moved an arm up behind his head. I watched him intently, trying to hold my shaky breath, watching what he might do next. He let out a loud sigh and then returned to his sleep breathing.

I reached back down and his cock was still hard. He had moved just enough so that I could get a really great grip on him and I gave a few quick strokes. I watched him so closely to see if he would react and as I loosened my grip, he turned and looked at me through sleepy eyes. I smiled and he pulled off his pants in one swift motion. I stroked him a few more times as I tried to figure out what to do next, when I swear I heard my vagina scream at me, “Mount him!“.

I quickly crawled on top of him and I was so wet that he slid in with absolute ease. My legs clutched tightly around his hips and my fingers dug into his chest. I sat still on him for a few minutes as I adjusted to the sensation I had so desperately been longing to feel and he watched my face intently to see the slightest reactions. When I leaned forward to kiss him, he wrapped his arms about me and pulled me in close to him.

I began lifting my hips up and very slowly lowering them onto him and he pulled away, not wanting to cum almost immediately after penetration. The slower thrusting always sends him into orgasm territory, so I pushed my breasts into his face and vigorously bounced up and down on him, my hands pushing hard into his chest as he frantically licked and sucked on my nipples.

When he moved his hands down around my ass, it was too much for me and I squeezed tightly with my thighs as a solid wave of orgasm rolled over me. I gripped tightly at anything I could grab and when his hand went up into my hair and pulled it back, I knew he was preparing to orgasm.

With one hand on my ass pushing me down onto his cock and another hand in my hair pulling me upright, he absolutely devoured the view of my bouncing breasts as he quickly thrusted in and out of me. Three deep hard thrusts was the signal that he was orgasming and when he collapsed on the bed, I collapsed on top of him.

Even though we were soaked in sweat, he wrapped his arms around me and held me tight as we both caught our breath. I rolled off of him and laid on my back beside him, “Now, go back to sleep!“, I said with a wide smile and he reached out his arm to pull my head onto his chest. I don’t think it took even two seconds for him to fall back to sleep and I didn’t take long to follow his lead.

The Club – Part 2

The Writing - For Adults 18+

Have you Read The Club РPart 1 yet?

Taryn walked ahead of me back across the parking lot and I could not take my eyes off of the amazing shape of her backside and the way it moved in front of me. Her legs, held up by these amazing high heels, stretched out from the bottom of her tight dress and crossed ever so elegantly with each step she took. I knew how wet she was and I couldn’t help but wonder what that must feel like as the cum and her liquid slid down her thighs.

She turned to look at me and flashed me a wide smile and I caught a glimpse of the club just slightly beyond her and I quickly ran to catch up to her, wrapping my arms around her waist as I caught up. She continued walking and I could hear her laughing, although more and more the sound of her was being drowned out by the loud music coming out of the constantly opening and closing club door.

She grabbed my hand and walked into the club, raising our hands up over our heads as she began to dance and walk at the same time. I smiled at her and she continued off in front of me again, raising up her dress just enough that I could see the bottoms of her ass cheeks. She turned her head and smiled at me, continuing to dance her way through the narrow hallway.

Finally back out on the floor, I turned her away from me and forced her hips this way and that across the raging erection in my pants. She teasingly rubbed herself up and down, fast and slow and I could feel her wetness on the front of my pants. I pulled, pushing her harder and harder onto me, and she bent forward as my hands traveled up her back. I roughly grabbed her shoulders and she continued to grind on me as I pulled her and pulled her.

I was so turned on by her. Sure, Taryn and I were best friends and sure we had fucked before, after almost every break up. But never had it been like this and I had no idea what to expect next. Her ass was so hot rubbing against me and I was sure she would make me cum if she kept it up. I wanted to be like that other guy and cum inside of her, not cum in my pants, so I abruptly turned around, putting my ass against her and playing it off like I was just dancing.

She stood up and turned around, wrapping her arms around my waist and pushing her beautiful breasts into my back. She kissed the back of my neck and let her hands roam and I reached behind me to feel her still moving her hips to the beat of the music. I let my hands wander over her ass and when I felt flesh I grabbed hard, digging my fingers into her. Her hands continued on my body, and when her fingers began to slide in between my belt and skin, I grabbed her wrist and turned around to look her in the eye.

I can’t do this here!“, I said, as calmly as I could although yelling it at her so she could hear me. She smiled, “Okay!“, she yelled back and it felt like we stood there forever, neither of us sure what to do next. I shouted, “Come with me!“, and pulled her by her wrist off of the dancefloor.

I glanced back behind me and she was hurrying along in her heels, her breasts bouncing vigorously as I walked briskly towards the exit. I pushed the door open with my hip, never letting her hand go, and pulled her along behind me. She giggled and panted heavily as I hurried through the parking lot, weaving between cars until we finally arrived at mine. I slammed her up against the door of my car and used my leg to open hers. I reached between them and unlocked the car door and she sighed as my knuckles brushed against her.

Get in!“, I said and she turned and opened the door. She began to bend over to get in and I grabbed her hands and put them on the seat in front of her and made her stand with her legs and ass out the door. Her pussy glistened in the night light and I knelt down and put my tongue into her. She tasted salty with sweat and I moaned hard as I began working my tongue around her wetness. Her knees bent slightly as they quivered and my hands grabbed frantically at her beautiful ass.

I stood up and slid two fingers into her as I leaned into the car and told her not to move. I continued to stroke her wet pussy as I unlocked the back door and opened it. I stood behind her and reached my hands around her waist and pulled her back out of the car. She stood against me shaking, as I slid my hands between her legs and walked her around the open door, my fingers reaching for as much as they could feel. She moaned and ran her hand up behind my head and through my hair.

I turned her around and helped her sit on the bench of the backseat. She moved back, her feet dangling out of the car. I crawled in behind her and lifted her legs up around my hips, as I closed the door behind us. She had already begun pulling her dress off, as I undid my belt and zipper. She sat up and pulled my shirt off, kissing my stomach and chest as she did and my cock slid against her boobs.

I kissed her hard and leant her back, her head resting against the handle on the door, one leg on the floor and one in the back window. I lifted her breasts up to my lips and sucked hard on her nipples as my cock dripped precum on her waiting pussy. Her hands were down my pants grabbing roughly at my ass and I couldn’t wait any longer. I pushed myself deep into her, fast and hard, her pussy soaking and warm. I thrust hard into her and she moaned loudly.

She threw her legs up around my back, pulling me even deeper into her and her hips frantically whipped against me. I leaned back a little and slid my hand down her stomach and began to circle her clit with my thumb as I continued to thrust deeply into her. She panted, “Right there, right there!“, over and over again and I grabbed her waist with my other hand to hold her on me as she bucked wildly. “Yeah, cum all over my cock, cum hard!” and her breath quickened. Her whole body froze and a small moan began to escape between her clenched teeth.

I began to pull back and out of her, loosening my grip on her waist, when her moan grew louder and louder and her hips began thrusting vigorously and her hands searched for me. I bent over and kissed her and she violently continued to convulse beneath me. “Fuck me!“, she screamed, and I roughly pounded into her, quick and steady thrusts. “That’s right. Fill my pussy!“, she whispered in my ear and I thrust hard as I pushed a huge load deep inside of her. I shivered as the last shot of cum burst out of me and collapsed on top of her, resting my cheek against her heaving breast.

She giggled as she stroked my head and I felt myself go limp inside of her slowly. “So, should we go home or go back to dancing?“, she asked and even though I wasn’t looking at her, I could tell she was smiling in that way that she always does. I mumbled into her chest, “I don’t know. What do you want to do?” and she sat quietly for a minute as the last bit of me fell out of her pussy, a stream of my cum following behind it.

I sat back and pulled up my pants, as she reached between her legs and played in the mess between them, her fingers gliding over her clit and in between the wet lips. She smiled, “I think I’m going to cum one more time and then we can go back to your place. But I want to come back here tomorrow night, okay?“, she asked and I nodded before bending over and kissing her, sliding two fingers into her opened pussy.

She circled her clit with her fingers as I thrust my fingers in and out of her, the sound of her wetness filling the otherwise silent car. She kissed me hard as her hips began to rock against my strong hand and I pulled my fingers all the way out of her before slamming them back into her. She gasped before lifting her hips right off the bench, her legs trembling and I sat back slightly to watch her body respond to my touch and her touch.

She smiled at me as I watched her intently, my eyes bouncing from amazing feature to amazing feature – the curve of her breasts, the shape of her hips, the way her cheeks flushed with color. I held my fingers deep inside of her wriggling them as much as I could and she moaned as I watched her fingers work her clit. I couldn’t help but bend down slightly and push her hand out of the way with my lips, tasting the sweetness of her.

Her hand wrapped into my hair and pushed my lips harder onto her clit and she continued to thrust her hips wildly, her juices dripping all over my hand. I moaned as she pulled my hair and she suddenly froze, completely motionless. Her legs stopped quaking, she seemed to have stopped breathing, and her fingers sat flat on my head. I sucked gently on her clit and wiggled my fingers two or three times as a slight moan began to seep through her lips. I moaned again and her moans grew louder and louder as she began to buck against my lips frantically. Both hands went to my head and pushed me harder onto her clit and I pulled my fingers out of her and began lapping at the copious amounts of moisture that seemed to gush from between her legs. Her moan was so loud, I was sure someone would hear us, and it went on for a while, as she continued to push me into her.

She collapsed on the bench, her eyes closed and her hair messed with sweat. “Should I take you home now?“, I whispered. “To your place!“, she whispered, glancing up at me before closing her eyes again. “Are you going to come sit up front with me?“, I asked, rubbing my hands up her legs and kissing her forehead. “Right behind you.“, she mumbled and I pulled my shirt on before opening the car door and backing out of it. I reached out my hand to her and she took it to sit up. It took her a minute to get her dress back over her head and she didn’t even bother with her shoes. She reached out her hand to me and I helped her out of the backseat.

I pulled her up to kiss me and she wrapped her arms around my neck. I asked, “You ready?” and she nodded before kissing me. I held her hand and walked her over to the passenger door, opening the door for her and making sure she didn’t hit her head on the way in. She giggled as she put her seat belt on and I closed the door before coming around to my own side. I crawled in and started the car and she rested her hand in my lap. I leaned over and kissed her and she sighed. Before we were even out of the parking lot, she was asleep beside me, as I drove back to my place.

The Club – Part 1

The Writing - For Adults 18+

The music in the club was pounding out a steady rhythm as lights flashed brightly revealing particles in the air. The crowd had gathered on the dancefloor, sticky from an hours worth of spilt drinks, the air around each one of us hot with the presence of more bodies. You could hardly wiggle to the left or step to the right the bodies were crammed so tightly.

I danced closely with my best friend Taryn, our drinks raised high in the air, while our hips gyrated back and forth. Her dress exposed more and more of her cleavage as she bobbed to the beat and I pushed up tightly against her to be able to feel them bounce. She turned around and my hands worked up from her hips to her breasts and she pushed them down as she bent over to tuck them back into her dress.

I slid my hand down her back and pulled her hips closer to mine, letting her feel the bulge forming in my pants. Her skirt began to rise and I caught a glimpse of her ass cheek before she turned around to face me again. She wrapped her arms around my neck, her drink behind my head, and I wrapped my arms about her waist letting my hands rest gently on her lower back, sliding up and down as she continued to wind her hips.

A guy came up behind her and put his hands between her and me, pulling her closer to him. She rubbed up against him as he spoke in her ear. The music was so loud that I couldn’t hear a word he said, but I could see his lips moving, brushing against her neck. She leaned her head back on his shoulder and laughed loudly, as she pushed her hips forward onto me.

She turned around and wrapped her arms about the guy’s neck and he smiled directly at me. I felt like I should leave them be and began to walk away, but Taryn reached out and pulled me back behind her. She let her head fall back on my shoulder, just like she had done with him, and half-yelled at me, “Just go with it!“, and she grabbed my hands and put them on her breasts and the other guy’s hands moved down her body and around to her ass, his hand ever so slightly rubbing against me.

My hands explored the curves of her upper body, squeezing one breast and then pushing my hand down over the other, gripping right below her heaving tips as she grinded skillfully against me. She turned around to face me and kissed me hard as the other guy, sweat dripping from his forehead, grabbed hard at her ass before pulling her against him two or three times in a thrusting motion. I knew how hard she had made me, I can only¬†imagine how hard he must’ve been.

Dancing always made Taryn incredibly horny, so it was no surprise that she was responding like this. She pushed her breasts into me and continued to kiss my lips and neck, sticking her ass out further and further to rub against the guy whose hands were all over her body, running down the sides of her legs and up under her breasts and up through her hair.

He squatted down and put his face right between her ass cheeks and my mouth hung open in shock at how forward he was being. I stopped moving entirely when Taryn reached behind her and shoved his head harder between her cheeks and I glanced frantically at the uncaring crowd around us as he stood and undid his pants pulling out his thick cock.

She smiled at me and pulled herself upright against me, until her whole body was pressed against mine. She grabbed my hands and placed them on her ass cheeks and said, “Hold on tight!“, as the guy behind her gently slid his cock into her. She moaned out loud although no one could hear her the music was so loud. The guy grabbed her hair and pulled her head back, and began kissing her neck.

I watched for a minute, unsure of what to do, feeling slightly uncomfortable as his hips and pants bucked against her bare ass, which I gripped firmly. She grabbed my head and directed it to her chest, where I frantically licked and kissed the flesh as it bounced to my lips. The guy pushed her harder and harder against me in slower and longer thrusts, and she pushed her ass further out to meet him. He let go of her hair and her head fell onto my shoulder, her hands on my lower back and her lips laying soft kisses on my collarbone.

I moved my hands to her back, one in her hair and the other just below her shoulder. I continued to rock her back and forth slowly as the other guy pulled her dress down slightly and walked away. I watched him intently, curious as to what he was doing, until he disappeared into the pulsing crowd.

She said into my neck, “I need some air“. She pushed herself off of me and grabbed my hand before turning and walking away. I followed her through the group of people, our bodies mushed together covered in sweat. We walked down the long hall out of the building, full of people leaning against walls with hands travelling to unknown places. Taryn let go of my hand as we reached the door and she pushed it open with both hands.

The air outside was cool and a light breeze blew over us, sending a shiver down my spine. She walked down a ramp and went across the parking lot and sat on steps directly across from the door of the club. She patted the cement beside her and smiled brightly at me. I smiled and sat beside her, wrapping my arm around her just in case she was cold.

I asked, “How’s your night going?” and she smiled up at me, “Amazing!” and I inquired, “Did he really fuck you?!” and she nodded and then laughed exaggeratedly. “You wanna feel?“, she asked, her eyes twinkling. I nodded vigorously, never knowing if I would ever get an opportunity like this again. She opened her legs wide, revealing that she wasn’t actually wearing any underwear – even though I had assumed she was wearing a thong or something – and she waited for me to move. I tried but I couldn’t. My hands seemed to be frozen in my lap and I just sat there staring blankly at her.

She giggled and grabbed my hand, placing it on her leg and then pushing it up under her dress. It only took a gentle nudge before my fingers were instinctively doing the rest and I gently worked my way up her inner thigh before sliding my finger inside of her. She was soaking wet and I recognized the texture of cum right away. She giggled while¬†I wiggled my finger back and forth. I felt like I should remove my hand, since I had already felt his load inside of her, but when I went to pull away, she whispered, “Not yet!” and I roughly pushed my finger back inside of her.

She wrapped her hand behind my head and turned my lips to meet hers and I rubbed my thumb against her clit. She closed her legs as a car drove by, enclosing my hand between her legs inside of her wet pussy and I moaned at how tight she felt. “I want to fuck you, right now“, she whispered and I stopped moving, “Where? Now?” and she nodded, “Here! Yes!” and I smiled not understanding what she meant.

She knelt on the step in front of me and smiled, her eyes flickering in the yellow of the streetlight, her breasts heaving dramatically. I put my hand behind her head and pulled her lips to mine and consumed her in a deep and passionate kiss. Her hands went eagerly to my zipper and she worked my raging cock out of my pants. She looked down and smiled widely up at me, before quickly placing her lips around my shaft. I moaned and gently pushed her further and further down until she had taken every last inch of me.

She pulled her mouth off of my cock and straddled me on the steps, lowering herself upon me until she was firmly resting in my lap. My hands held the back of her dress down as she gently rocked against me, pushing her boobs up to meet my waiting tongue. I thrust my hips ever so slightly and let my fingers make their way under her dress to feel the flesh of her rear, still ensuring her dress was pulled down to cover her – although she didn’t seem to care.

She whispered in my ear, as she left little kisses, “Are you ready to go back and dance?” and every limb of my tense body went completely limp. I was so close to cumming, I didn’t want to stop, but she stood up before I could say anything and wriggled about as she pulled her dress down and adjusted her hair. I quickly shoved my cock back into my pants, struggling to make him fit through the now too tiny hole he had come out of. She giggled and wrapped her arms around me in a tight embrace, and I plopped my chin on her shoulder.

Read The Club – Part 2

Desire Runs Deep

This post is intended for adults 18+

The Boyfriend started talking about the sex we were going to have on his next days off the exact same day that he went back to work after his last day’s off. And every single day, multiple times a day, he’d make all sorts of comments or suggestions or requests, maybe. I’m not really sure how to describe the sweet nothings that he exchanges when he’s like this. Writing most of them down often time doesn’t sound as good as it does when he says it.

By the time he was actually on his days off, three days later, from the moment he walked in the door, he was immediately going off about sex. The sex he was planning to have, the sex he would like to have in his future, the sex that he’s had in the past, nothing but sex. And it went on all day long. I’ve talked to him about my lack of desire and he had decided that he was going to do anything he could to make it go away.

At dinnertime, he was officially ready to go. It seemed like every move he made would give him an erection and on many occasions, I would catch him staring at me with that look in his eyes that signals that¬†he’s thinking dirty thoughts. He wasn’t by any means ready to have sex at this point, it was just on his mind heavily – like it normally is with me. Part of me was insanely happy that for once it was happening to him and not to me. I feel like his low sex drive has never interfered with his day-to-day functioning, whereas it happens to me all the time. Part of me just felt confused as to why it’s not happening to me…

After we were done getting the kids all ready for bed, it was still too early for us to go and have sex. He also wanted me to be more aroused and spent the remainder of our pre-sex time trying for that. He asked if we could sit on the couch and go through my Tumblr together. The thing that I always love the most about him checking out my Tumbr is that it opens up a great line of communication between us. We can talk about all the stuff we like, are curious about and don’t like. We can reminisce about the time we tried “this” or “that” and we can discuss bodies and genders and sexuality in a way that seems really informal, incredibly comfortable for both of us, and that doesn’t feel like anyone is putting pressure on anyone – which is huge for him, because he does not deal well with sexual pressure.

He ended up leaving for a short while, instructing me to continue browsing. We were probably on there for a good two hours and he was relieved when he reached between my legs and I was showing the first signs of wetness. My computer got put down, our TV got turned onto some show in the background and an incredibly intense fingering session commenced.

It started out really slow to get me into it and he took so much time exploring every little piece of vulva with each of his fingers. He focused a lot less on penetrative fingering and a lot more on soft and sensual flesh rubbing. After a good long while of softness, and as his erection began to tug his pants tighter and tighter, the rubbing turned to penetrating, which eventually turned into four fingers sliding as deep into me as they could manage. He asked if I was okay and I nodded. He covered my neck and chest in these big wet kisses before continuing on. When he pulled his fingers away, I was surprisingly dry and he returned to the soft and gentle rubbing. We went through this process probably five or six times, the softness to the roughness, the rubbing to the penetration.

Finally, I was ready to orgasm, which was his goal all along. Since one of the kids was still upstairs awake watching shows, I asked if we could sneak into the bathroom. He wasn’t anywhere near ready to orgasm yet, but I desperately wanted to orgasm on his cock. I felt like it had been too long since that had happened, even though it really hadn’t. He rushed into the bathroom and waited for me to follow behind him, his pants already down around his ankles.¬†I orgasmed almost immediately and his hands grabbed at every inch of flesh he could get his hands on. He pounded me hard as the last ripple of orgasm shook over me and I covered my mouth to keep myself quiet. Then, he walked away and told me I was getting changed.

He handed me my dress. We came back out the living room and sat on the couch for a few minutes before his hand was between my legs again. He said, “After this, you’re going to do exactly as I tell you to do. And you remember our safeword obviously…“, he trailed off and I smiled wide trying to figure out what he might have in mind. He had been talking about needing lube a lot, so I figured it was going to be something like that, but I was wrong. He sat down on the floor and rested his head on the couch. He then told me to stand in front of him.

Although I put my feet there, it felt like he moved my legs into position, so that I was partially standing, partially straddling his face. He pulled me harder onto him as his tongue and lips went to work and I reached down and grabbed frantically at any part of him I could reach, mostly his hair and one arm that was supporting my shaking leg. He used his hands to force my hips back and forth until I took over. It didn’t take long before I was drenching his mouth with my second orgasm and he responded like it was the best thing ever.

He slid out from underneath of me and quickly and roughly penetrated me from behind, pushing me right into the couch. He threw my dress up to reveal my ass cheeks and dug his fingers deeply into the flesh, pushing himself so deep into me that I moaned into the back of the couch and clawed at any fabric I could gather.

He pulled out and decided he was going to move our bed down to the living room. I’m not exactly sure why he decided on this. Once the bed was all set up, he asked me to put porn on the TV, although it didn’t get watched at all. His hands again went to work between my legs and after he had gotten me good and wet with lots of kissing and breast nibbling, a good long sex session was had. It started on my side, and then my leg ended up over his hip, and then he ended up on top of me.

He went for what felt like forever as I worked desperately for my third orgasm. It was utterly impossible. No matter what I did, no matter what he did, I stayed perfectly peaked near the tip of an orgasm. I don’t know how he manages to continue fucking me for so long. I could understand if he slowed down more, but he doesn’t. He keeps an incredibly steady pace, he doesn’t seem like he’s off somewhere else trying to keep his mind off an orgasm, he still does all the same stuff as if he hasn’t been working his ass off for the longest time! It always impresses me, even after so long of experiencing it.

We were both getting exhausted. My hand just couldn’t do it, we were both sweating terribly, and when he pulled out and said “Time’s up, for now!“, I was actually really relieved and he could tell. His plan was to have another round of sex, but when he stood up from the bed, he immediately said, “Oh my god, I think I need to cum. My balls are begging for it!” and I gladly offered up my mouth for his use.

Normally, he lays down and I get in between his legs or lay beside him for blowjobs. It’s our preferred positioning because he can play with my hair and gets to be in charge of what my head does for the most part. I was lucky and convinced him to be on top and he happily lowered himself in between my waiting lips. Normally, he feels rigid and stiff and you can feel all the veins on his cock. The need to orgasm had made his whole cock feel soft, even though it was still as long as if he had had a regular erection, but it wasn’t vein-y or rigid, almost felt flaccid. It was perfect for how absolutely deep he was going.

His legs were shaking from desperation and it took so much longer than either one of us was expecting for him to cum. He pushed so deeply into my throat as he came, I quickly had to pull him back so that I could swallow and I am sure that I made some very obvious gulping sounds. He kept cumming and cumming and his legs were shaking so bad, I thought he was going to collapse. It took him a few seconds to rise after he was done, which gave me plenty of time to get him nice and cleaned up.

I fell asleep so fast when my head hit the pillow, even though I was expecting to be up all night sketching out, being that it’s been so long since we last slept in the living room. And it was such an amazing sleep! He woke up with the kids in the morning and stayed awake to play games and let me sleep peacefully until noon, and it was utter bliss.

Today, I feel like I can still feel his four fingers deep inside of me. Every once and awhile, I’ll sit in an angle that makes it feel like I’ve been punched in the vagina. It’s one of those things, like a bruise after a consensual beating, that hurts a little but once you remember why it’s there makes it feel pleasurable. I’ve also been in desperate need of hugs today, which he has been ready to hand out at every turn.

This is Not The Role Reversal Your Looking For…

The Rantings - For Adults 18+

For many years, through thousands of awkward conversations and more than a handful of disappointing moments, I have been the one with the high sex drive while The Boyfriend’s was almost non-existent. Rarely did this ever change and definitely not for longer than a couple nights off.

For many years, I have been the one complaining there wasn’t enough sex (even though the calendar said there was) and I’m the one who’s been openly expressing my fantasies and thinking about sex all day. It’s what I’m used to and where I’ve been at for a really long time. It’s normal for me.

But, we’re going on over a month now, where I seem to have little to no sexual desire at all and he seems to be a raging ball of sexual energy. My eyebrows have been raised many times by his overt expressions of arousal. I’m not used to it from him and apparently it is absolutely throwing me off my game…

We may not be having a whole heck of a lot of sex right now, although if he had his way and wasn’t a such a slave to a good sleep, we’d be having it multiple times a day. And I honestly have no idea what has caused the sudden change and he likes to theorize that maybe we switched statistical genders – where his sex drive is peaking in his late 20’s/early 30’s and my sex drive is dwindling off, as if I was a teenage boy in heat back in the high sex drive years.

In terms of my sex drive, I’m not really sure what’s caused the extreme shift for me. It’s been a really slow and gradual process for me. I remember one night being incredibly aroused during masturbation. Then, I remember that the next night I masturbated not because I had any desire to do so, but because I felt like it would help me sleep. Ever since that night, it’s been a little touch and go.

For the most part, it’s not affecting me much at all. I had one night of issues during sex of not being able to keep myself lubricated. I just was not turned on enough to stay wet and nothing either of us was doing seemed to be helping. It didn’t mean that we stopped or anything and the sex was still great sex and he didn’t really seem to notice a big difference, but I found it to be most unusual. I just chalked it up to lack of fluids or exhaustion and basically ignored it. I had a few more nights of masturbating to put myself to sleep, with hardly any “sexual thoughts” and now it’s been more days than I’ve gone in quite awhile without an orgasm.

And somehow, I’m not craving it…

To be honest, it’s quite disorienting. I haven’t gotten to the point where I’m worried about it, because I’m still able to have sex and orgasm and feel sexual pleasure, but it feels weird to not be in a state of constant arousal and it feels weird to have no real sexual thoughts throughout the day. It feels abnormal for me to have to work so hard to get aroused and stay that way. It doesn’t feel precisely right.

And it especially hits me, how absolutely weird it is, when The Boyfriend starts going off about his sexual thoughts. It’s like I have to hear him say it twice to believe that it’s actually coming out of his mouth. That not only is he having these thoughts but that he’s also openly expressing them frequently. And I didn’t even mention his almost constant half-chubs that he’s walking around with all day!¬†You’d think that I’d be getting turned on by all the sensual passion floating around here lately. Typically, this would make me a wet mess! But it’s just not working out that way.

The concept of role reversal has always been a big interest of mine in the kink-sense. Power exchange has been on my list of things to do since day one! But this is absolutely not the type of role reversal I was looking for at all!¬†Maybe I’ll end up appreciating it or learning something from it at some point.

No Expectations = Good

The Rantings - For Adults 18+

It was such an odd night last night. The Boyfriend was on his night off from work, we had gotten rid of two out of four of the kids (and all of the ones that hate how loud we can get), and all of this seemed to over-excite him. Normally, his desire makes me desire, but I just wasn’t feeling it at all last night – although I wasn’t about to turn him down.

I was completely weirded out by my lack of interest. Usually, he runs the tip of that one finger up my inner thigh and I’m shivering in anticipation. Last night, I really could’ve taken or left it. So, when he undid his belt and whipped off his pants as I was lounging on the couch, I was not even close to ready for penetration. When he roughly entered my less lubricated nether region, I clawed at him and gasped. Naturally, I became wetter and wetter, but my head still wasn’t in it. I was just going through the actions.

Wasn’t Expecting That!

He came quicker than I was expecting. Honestly, I wasn’t expecting him to cum at all, but he did. He was gentle and sweet as he helped clean me up and got me back into comfiness on the couch. Then we both went back to doing our things, me on my computer and him on his games. We ended up staying up a good two hours later than we were expecting to and I was sure that he would pass out the moment his head hit the pillow.

Again, my brain just wasn’t in the game. He was not ready for sleep but was immediately ready for his round two. He rolled me onto my side and began quickly pounding me and I gripped at the sheets, begging my pussy to just get wet. He rolled me onto my back and flung my legs up around his shoulders and the deepness of him sent my hands to his hair where I pulled hard until his head was all the way back. “Let me up!“, I winced and he hastily rose off me.

I went and got a drink, went to the bathroom and checked to make sure there were no reasons why I wasn’t getting as lubricated as I normally do. All was good, so I went back upstairs worrying about my level of desire. I laid down next to The Boyfriend, even though he was anticipating being mounted, and he rolled to caress my legs. He asked, his voice soft and smooth, “Do you wanna roll onto your stomach?” and I nodded and rolled as he worked himself behind me.

Didn’t Expect That!

My fingers went to work on my clit, and I lazily wriggled my hands¬†between my legs. Even though I didn’t feel it, he whispered into my ear, “You’re so wet!“. He slid out of me precisely a moment later and as he thrust forward my hand was smothered in the slick liquid. Just as easily as he had slid out, he slid back in and I sighed audibly with relief, my fingers now working with more effort towards their goal.

His hands suddenly felt so rough on my back and ass, moving back and forth in various configurations, pushing down here and there. I buried my face in my pillow as he grabbed one ass cheek hard on with one hand and my opposite shoulder blade with the other hand, half pulling me back, half pushing me down – the fabric barely muffling the moans as they escaped with each thrust. He kept trying to kiss my neck or my cheeks, but my hair kept getting in the way, or I’d move just as his lips got near.

Both hands gripped at my ass and as he pulled, his cock slid out between my cheeks. I thought for sure he was going to try for anal, especially being there was now an abundance of natural lubrication. Instead, he pushed my cheeks together and sensually ran himself between them and I quivered and cooed beneath him. When he pulled my cheeks apart again, he slid right back into my waiting pussy and held my flesh tightly between his clenched fists.

Kinda Expected That…

A few thrusts later, I pushed back onto him roughly as my orgasm rippled through my chest and as it reached my ribs, he thrust hard and deep and unloaded himself, the shockwaves lashing through him until he collapsed onto my back, breathing heavy with exhaustion. My orgasm had stopped at his first shot and felt tight in my whole abdomen. All I could think about was releasing that feeling.

I began to roll and he rolled off of me and I immediately went to work on my clit. He half dozed off/half caressed my inner thighs or sporadically tweaked my nipple, and eventually I turned my head away and closed my eyes doing everything I could to tune everything else, save for the sensations circling my clit, out. I struggled and I remember wanting to give up as a cramp nestled into my masturbating arm and my boob kept sticking to the sweat on my non-masturbating arm. But the feeling in my gut kept me going and going and going.

I felt it coming for what felt like forever and The Boyfriend must’ve too, because he seemed to completely wake up and his hands gently ran up and down my legs, tugging every so often. The tip of his finger slid across that area where thigh meets vulva, and my whole body froze for a second before quaking through an orgasm that left my whole body tight. I collapsed back from the almost ball-like state I had convulsed into and panted through the remaining twitches, suddenly realizing how utterly exhausted I felt.

Lesson Learnt: No Expectations = Good

He curled up nice and tight next to me, keeping me as warm as he could with his arms on my breasts. I put my cold toes against his calves and it was mere moments before we were both dead to the world asleep. It was a much shorter sleep than we were expecting to get, by a lot, but it was a really deep sleep and we were both surprised at how well we’ve functioned today. He’s already talking about more sex tonight and what he has in store for me – even his humor is dirtier than usual. At least my brain’s a little more in the game tonight ūüėČ

The Elusive Third

The Rantings - For Adults 18+

For probably the first time in our relationship, The Boyfriend’s sex drive is way more active than mine is being, and it has been one of the most pleasant twists. Over the last two weeks, the sex has been incredible.

I’m working on a post about the holiday sex, but today, I want to talk about last night’s sex – because it was mind-blowing! I cannot get over the fact that seven years into it and we’re still finding new things to discover and explore. I think every time we have another first, we fall in love just a little bit more.

He had spent the entire day focused on sex it seemed. I mean, he went about doing a lot of other things but every once and awhile, he’d say something or just look over in a certain way, and you knew that he was thinking of nothing else but what he was going to get to do that evening. Once the kids were all in their rooms, it became a lot less subtle as fingers roamed freely every time a new idea popped into his head.

He was in a very instructive mood, even before the sex began. He grabbed out a dress and stated, “You’ll be wearing this after you get out of your bath!“, and a huge grin swept it’s way across my face. So, I went for a nice long bath and tried to read, but he kept coming up and distracting me with stolen kisses and rough fingers in wet places.

I sat on the couch after the bath, red from the heat and slightly draped by a towel, moisturizing my legs. Even though he was in the middle of video gaming, he couldn’t help but suddenly be completely drawn into the legs – he has a thing for them. Abruptly, he dives between my legs and begins some of the best oral sex I’ve ever been given. Hands all over my thighs, still slick with the moisturizer and tongue and lips working in the most incredible rhythm that had my hands vigorously latched onto the curls of his hair.

He’d walk away and go back to games, leaving me panting on the couch. I’d calm down and go back to moisturizing the next part of my body, and he’d suddenly dive back between my legs and this went on for a good hour.¬†He had come and sat down next to me, and his hands were everywhere as he kissed me deeply. When they finally reached my clit, it seemed like mere moments before I was whispering, “If you keep that up, you’re going to make me cum!” and he smiled back, “Good!“. As soon as he said the first consonant, my body tightened and he pulled me in for a tight hug and long kiss as the waves of my first orgasm crashed over me. “That’s the first!“, he said.

We had agreed we weren’t ready for more sex yet. It was still too early. So, we decided to put on a movie. The idea was to watch it just long enough until we headed upstairs, but My Awkward Sexual Adventure on Netflix ended up being a pretty great movie, so we watched it dedicatedly, with only a few little rubs and grabs here and there.

The second the credits finished rolling, we rushed to get upstairs. I had laid on my stomach before he got into the room and something about this was the best idea ever. He enjoyed that my dress appeared to be see-through (which would make sense, since it’s a really old dress), and crawled on top of me and rubbed my back and ass through the fabric. I had remembered that the last time I wore the dress, I had found a couple unfortunately placed holes, so I was planning on throwing it out. I told The Boyfriend about the holes, and his excitement level went from almost nothing to thrilled!

Immediately he began searching for any holes he could find, planning how he might begin ripping me out of this dress. When he reached his fingers inside the first tiny hole and began to tear, we both gasped taking pleasure in the sound of it. His hand reached inside the hole and his hands, one on my skin and one on my fabric, made me shiver in delight. He ripped another hole and then another hole. His cock was so hard as he slid into one of the holes and directly between my legs, where I was much wetter than I thought I would be.

He teased as he gently kissed my shoulders, his hands exploring my sides and reaching around to feel the curve of the underside of my breast. He whispered in my ear as he laid soft kisses on the lobe, “From right now, you’re going to do everything that I say, okay?” and I cheekily replied, “Yes, Sir!” and we both grinned wildly. He lifted off of me and began ripping the dress more. He pulled hard until the three holes he had previously made larger became one large hole. He admired his work for a moment before continuing on and ripping the dress all the way around to the front, turning my ankle-length tank-top dress into a butt-length smock.

He flipped me over onto my back to remove the bottom part of the torn dress, and carelessly penetrated me as he continued ripping up the bottom into smaller pieces. After he had a few pieces ripped off, he told me to sit up and moved away from me. I sat cross-legged and he moved behind me. Without a word, he placed a piece of the ripped dress over my eyes and tied it tightly behind my head. He breathed into my ear, “Are you okay?” and I said, “Yes“. “Good! Well then, get on your hands and knees!” and I asked, “Facing which way?” and he said, “Window” and I shakily moved to the right spot.

He let out the slightest moan and I smiled. He grabbed my feet and put them together and then grabbed another piece of the dress and tightened my ankles together. I could feel him moving closer to me, could feel the heat of him, but when his lips took in my dangling nipples – well, I hadn’t expected that at all. I jumped away from him and feeling suddenly disoriented, “Did you turn the lights off?“. “Nope, you okay?“, he asked concerned,¬†as his hands continued touching me in ways that I felt unable to anticipate.

He grabbed my arms and lifted them up behind me and playfully pushed my head into the pillow. He wrapped another piece of dress around my wrists and tied them together. I could feel him stand back and admire his work, his innovation, and when his fingers easily slid into my wetness, he knew I was more than ready to feel him. He mounted me fast and rough and hard, and I felt like my whole body was going to topple over. I didn’t feel connected to my limbs and when he’d run the tips of his fingers across them, I’d giggle at the strangeness of it.

He pulled out of me and pulled me up by the rags around my wrists, until I was kneeling. I sat waiting and he ripped the front of my dress, exposing one breast. He roughly grabbed them and kissed them before guiding my mouth to his cock. We awkwardly managed this, as I was still wearing the blindfold and kept flinching every time he’d get close. I’d feel something near my cheek and pull back and he’d pull me closer and wordlessly direct me to the right spot.

He undid the tie around my ankles, laid down on the bed and ordered, “Now, get on top of me!” and I literally laughed out loud because I was suddenly aware of how difficult it was to move around when I¬†couldn’t see anything or use my hands. He chuckled, “Don’t worry, I’ll help you.”, and he wrapped one arm around me and used the other to help me lift my leg high enough to get over him without accidentally kneeing him anywhere special.

It took me a bit to acquaint myself with our positioning. He used his hands and his strength to put me exactly as he wanted me, and his pleasure was audible when we got to the point of penetration. He grabbed my phone and tried to snap pictures, but the real thing was too good for him, and after three blurry pictures, he threw the phone down and one hand went between my legs and the other grabbed frantically at my exposed and unexposed breasts.

He reached around behind me and undid the tied up dress pieces from my wrists and from around my eyes and I fell into his waiting arms to receive an incredibly passionate kiss. He held me tightly and ran his hands over my hair to brush it out of my face and inquired confidently, “You okay?” and I nodded, feeling all sorts of floaty.

He rolled me onto my back and quickly penetrated me, both of us more than ready for my second orgasm. My hands went to work on my clit as he hit this new spot that we’ve just discovered that always feels epic for me. My right hand circled my clit and my left hand went between his chest and his ass, gripping and clawing the former and gently following the curve of the latter.

He watched me grinning, as the second orgasm rippled over me. I bucked right off of him and then quickly pushed him back in and convulsed as he gently rocked his hips. I shuddered at the final pulse of my pussy and he moaned, “That’s two!“. I snuggled into his forearms, placed beside my head, and kissed the veins pulsing in them. “Ready for the next one?“, he asked and I nodded, going straight back to circling my clit as he ripped open the rest of the front of my dress.

The third orgasm would just not come. He kept on, even though sweat was literally wicking off his back and chest and burning his eyes. He kept on, even though we both had to stop long enough to pick strands of my hair off of our fingers and arms and legs. He kept on for so long and I finally heaved, “I need you to cum!” and his eyes lit up. He had been so concerned about my pleasure up to this point and my orgasms, that I don’t think it had even occurred to him to orgasm. He was going to last, no matter what!

“Please Daddy, fill me up“, I whispered as I ran my hands up through his hair, pulling just gently, “Cum for me!“, I encouraged and he thrust harder and faster, the sweat dripping from his forehead onto my chest, the heat of him and our stubborn orgasms, making¬†my arms and shins sweat. “It’s…“, he panted and I pulled him close, “I know“, and he collapsed over me, kissing my cheek before asking, “You ready?“. I nodded and he rolled exhausted into his spot.

I continued to work towards my third orgasm as we came down from the experience, talking about the best moments. Normally, this not a sexy conversation, it’s more analytical. But he was working on helping me orgasm, so he made it a sexier conversation full of compliments. “I loved how you had such a hard time moving with the blindfold on! You needed me so much. And your neck looked so good all tight and glistening with sweat.” and I smiled shyly. His hands caressed my thigh as I frantically worked on my clit, the orgasm seemingly escaping me.

I was ready to give up. My arms were soaked in sweat, my whole vulvular area felt swollen and well-used. I didn’t think it was going to happen. He grabbed my leg just right at exactly the right moment and the third orgasm, the elusive one, was the most intense of the night. I’m normally a toe-up type of girl, where the orgasm starts in the toes and radiates up from there. This time, it started in my jaw. I clenched tightly, as it dragged it’s way down my body. My stomach tightened and then my legs pushed hard into the mattress as my toes bent around the blankets. A monotonous clenched moan droned from between my lips and The Boyfriend wrapped his arm around me, consuming me in a hug, as I violently shook and clenched frantically beneath him.

He kissed my cheek and we separated, the sweat now sticky and gross, not sexy and fun. He opened the window wide and I turned on the fan, both of us ready for the night to be done. He was beyond exhausted and I had been thoroughly used. I kissed him hard, “Oh, I really do love you so much!” and he muttered, half asleep, “I really do love you too…” and after a few moments, as his eyes could no longer stay open, “…so much“.

I swear, I went to sleep grinning like a fool!

Familiar

The Writing - For Adults 18+

Of all the hours that make up a day, the two hours that made up her commute home were by far the most tedious. Every day, she tried to feel optimistic about the weather, the traffic, the music in the car, anything – and every day she’d fail miserably as she’d tap on the steering wheel irritated, shaking her leg vigorously and staring aggressively at anyone who looked her way.

The final minutes of her drive always seemed like the longest. The light on the block before her street always seemed to be red and the streets bustled endlessly with what felt like the entire city to her exhausted mind. She’d try to distract herself by watching the people walking past her vehicle, but somehow this always seemed to irritate her more and she’d throw up her hands as she pressed on the brakes, cursing into the wind about her perceived misfortune.

Pulling into the driveway was always met with an audible sigh of relief. She’d pull her key out of the ignition and slump back against her seat, taking a long deep breath before grabbing her briefcase and opening the door. Her legs shook as she’d come to standing and she’d slam the door behind her with the heel of her shoe.

Her keys would slide into the lock of her front door with ease and the familiar click of them¬†turning into place¬†was enough to bring a smile to her face. She’d push open the door and he’d be on bended knee waiting to take her briefcase. She’d plop it down in his waiting arms and give him a kiss on the forehead, before retreating to her bedroom.

The bedroom door was always left slightly ajar, and he would kneel patiently outside it waiting for her to de-compress. First, she’d pull off her earrings and carelessly toss them in her jewelry dish. Her watch and necklace came next and then the buttons of her shirt. Sometimes she’d leave her shirt on and sometimes she’d take it off. She’d sit on the edge of her bed.

I want you“, she’d whispered.

He’d crawl into the room, his head down and his eyes fixated on the floor before him. He’d kneel in front of her and she’d curl her finger under his chin, lifting his eyes to meet hers.

Have you been a good boy today?“, she’d ask him sweetly and he’d nod his head vigorously, “Good. Now get these shoes off of me!“, she’d command uninterested.

Eagerly and without fumbling, he would slide the heel off her foot and gently massage her toes. He’d move his hands up her legs massaging the smooth muscles of her calves and clawing at the skin of her thighs. He’d unhook her garter strap from the top of her stockings and gently roll them off her leg, delighting in the revealing of her flesh.

If she wanted him to go further, she’d pull up her skirt ever so slightly, inviting him to explore her more fully. If she wanted him to wait, she’d rise and proceed to her mirror to brush out her long hair, which had spent the entire day at the office wrapped in a tight bun. He’d move to kneel beside her and wait for her next instruction.

I think I need a drink“, she would comment, as if to no one, and he would scurry out of the room on his hands and knees. After the door was closed slightly behind him, he’d rise to his feet and continue to the kitchen to prepare her a glass of red wine, which he had already decanted in preparation of her arrival. She’d still be in her chair at her mirror when he’d arrive.

He’d walk over to her, his eyes focused on the goblet of liquid. Kneeling down before her, he’d raise the glass up to her and she’d pat him on the head after receiving it. “Thank you darling. Now, please be a dear and prepare yourself for me.“, her voice dripping with honey, “And don’t bother asking me all these stupid questions. I deal with that all day, I don’t need it from you too!“, snapping at him suddenly.

Crawling on his hands and knees again, he’d exit the room and rise as he proceeded to the basement, where they had a small collection of equipment and devices that would cause the most pleasurable of pain and excite the dullest of sensations. While the collection was small, the possibilities were endless.

He’d climb up onto the converted massage table. One of his first projects as her pet was to build this table and she was very specific about how it should be built. Like a regular massage table, it would have a small opening for the face. Unlike a regular massage table, it would also have a small rectangular opening near the nipple area and a larger round opening in the genital area. The table was built on a base and had extendable legs, so that she could raise and lower him to her needs.

He grew in size the moment he heard her heel hit the first step. The familiar¬†clunk of her stiletto on the stair caused his muscles to ripple involuntarily. He’d count her steps every time and by the thirteenth stair he was clawing at the soft leather covering the table. Fourteen and fifteen and he’d turn his head to see her come towards him.

She’d pick up her favorite crop, a solid and sturdy piece she had gotten as a birthday present. It’s black leather was slightly worn and it warmed quickly upon use. She’d trace the curves of his body with the edge of the crop, starting at his feet, which always made him squirm and working her way up over his muscular calves, his shapely thighs and lightly over the downy hair on his rear.

She’d start with gentle smacks on his backside, just barely lifting the crop off his skin. He’d lay silently watching her every move out of the corner of his eye, reveling in the calm that seemed to surround her. She’d rub her hand down his back and over his firm ass, rubbing him softly¬†before bringing her hand down swiftly on his cheeks. He’d squirm slightly as she lifted¬†her hand away.

She’d return to the crop, this time harder and faster. She’d bring the crop down upon him with more force and her blows were successive. An even number of hits was placed on each side and after a couple really hard ones, he was nicely reddened. She’d rub her hands over the forming welts and kiss his flesh feeling the warmth of him against her lips. She could almost never resist allowing a hand to wander to his stiff cock hanging beneath the table and he always cooed at the touch of her.

She’d walk away and he’d watch her intently. Sometimes they would have casual conversations about their days and sometimes they said nothing at all. Sometimes she spoke to him nastily, striking him down with harsh words and other times, she’d banter with him playfully, flirtatiously. He’d been with her long enough to know what was coming for him next based on the tone of her voice. If she was happy, she’d want pleasuring. But if she was unhappy, she’d want to make him unhappy too.

Did you get all your work done today?“, she’d say, her eyebrow arching in anticipation. “Yes!“, he’d respond loudly, ensuring that she’d hear him. “Oh really? All of it?“, she’d push, hoping to catch him in some sort of way to warrant a punishment, but he’d always respond, “Yes, all of it.”. And even the times she would check on his work, it would always be done to her exact specifications. He really was such a good boy.

She’d signal with her hand for him to turn onto his back and eagerly, he’d obey.¬†Pulling his swollen member from the hole it had been situated in and rolling to allow it to spring forth, she could never help the smile in her eyes at the first sight of his beautiful cock, glistening to with his arousal.

She’d place her hands in his hair and lean over him for a deep kiss, their tongues exploring each other fully. Her hands traveled down his neck and when she reached the soft padding of his chest, she extended her fingers and dug her nails into his supple flesh. He’d moan slightly as she’d being to tug down his body, his body tightening from chest to stomach and over his hips and thighs.

She’d pull a strap from the bottom of the table and wrap it over his ankles, buckling it tight to the other side of the table. She’d tickle his feet and giggle as he tried to kick and continue on to the next strap just below his knees. She’d rub her hands up his thighs as she reached for the next strap, pulling it taut to the table. Another strap was added across his chest and one across his midsection holding his arms close to his body.

Now, lay very still darling.“, she’d coo as she removed her heels and any other clothes she was wearing that day. His eyes followed her every move and his breath quickened every time she came near him. His fingers stretched out to her involuntarily and he’d groan softly as his cock throbbed.

She’d crawl on top of him, the table having just enough room for her feet to rest comfortably beside his body. She’d squat down onto him, lowering herself slowly and carefully. Her knees would be bent right up to her chest as she reached the pinnacle of deepness and her head always tilted back. He’d wiggle slightly, his hips desperately wanting to thrust into her, and she’d squeeze his nipples hard to remind him not to move.

Harder she’d bob up and down on his member, delighting in the sensation of him deep within her. Her hands would move behind her and rest on his thighs, and she’d open up her entire body for his viewing pleasure – her breasts bouncing freely and her pussy dripping with wetness. He’d gasp at the sight of her, his eyes roaming every inch of available skin.

Oh my… yes… Such a good boy!“, she’d mutter through her clenched jaw. Her muscles would clench and twitch, and her hands would jump to his chest. She’d take him harder and faster, the feeling of her making him pulsate vigorously. “Now!“, she’d snarl at him, the familiar tone of the end of her orgasm and he would close his eyes tight concentrating on the sensations surrounding his hardened cock. Pulling against the straps on his thighs, his hips desperately craving the experience of thrusting, his forehead covered in sweat, he’d erupt into an orgasm that would leave his body heaving beneath the sturdy leather straps.

She’d undo the strap around his chest and gently lay kisses on his forehead, his neck and his upper arms. “You have been so good to me.“, she’d whisper quietly, as she undid the strap about his midsection. He’d exhale heavily as each strap was released. She’d finish the same way she started, with a soft tickle of his toes and they’d giggle with each other, as he’d playfully kick his feet.

TO DO: Sexual Enhancement Routines

The List - For Adults 18+

I’ve always looked at sex as something so much more than sex – almost as if it’s a way to achieve some sort of ¬†enlightenment, the ultimate nirvana. I use these particular¬†words, because I have no other to explain the way that I feel about the act and art of having sex.

Like any other act that requires a great deal of mastery, I think that sex is like a marathon you train for. Yes, we are all naturally able to have great sex and we don’t need to work at it – just like we’re all able to throw a punch and hit our target. But if you train your muscles and your mind, your fists can endure stacks of bricks. In the same way, your sex can go from great to nirvana.

Now, I’m not saying that I have the answers to enlightenment. I really don’t and I don’t think anyone does. However, there are a few things that I’ve always wanted to do to improve myself as a partner in a relationship, a lover in (and out) of the bedroom and as a sexual being.

Orgasm Daily

Orgasms have a wide array of health benefits which have been proven over and over again by science. Everything from lowering cholesterol to decreasing your chances of becoming depressed. And, they feel damn good!

Plus, after completing all the other stuff on this list, I’d probably have to orgasm just so that I wouldn’t spend the day in a state of arousal…

Do 100 Kegels a Day

Kegel exercises involve tightening the pelvic floor muscles and decrease the likelihood of incontinence as we age, among a number of other benefits, including a more controlled orgasm. Kegels are easy to do and can be done anywhere and I really do love to do them!

I’d like to aim to do 100 of them, in intervals of 10 or 20 at a time. Wake up, do my kegels, check. Eat, do my kegels, check. Do the dishes, do my kegels, check. Write a blog post, do my kegels, check. You get the point ūüėČ

Sexercise

As I get older (and lazier…), my body just doesn’t move in the way it used to. I mean, I can still get into all the crazy positions and he flops me about like a ragdoll, but it just doesn’t move the same way it used it. Sometimes, it gets sore or my hip locks up mid-pounding or I get a cramp in my leg at the worst possible moment.

Stretches and yoga-esque moves seem to be the best options here. The core strength is necessary for maintaining my balance and the flexibility will help when he decides to throw my legs above my head!

Wear Ben-Wa Balls or Alternatives

In the same vein as the Kegels, I’d like to wear ben-wa balls or some other alternative like the Lelo Luna¬†Beads (both of which I’ve owned in the past). I’d like to wear these separate from the 100 Kegels and I’d like for this time to be a very meditative time, where I’m more focused more on the sensations of the experience.

Kegels can be done rather mindlessly. I’d like to wear ben-wa balls mindfully.

Self-Exam Sessions

Prior to the hustle and bustle of kids, it was common for a quick breast exam or a mirror inspection of my vulvular area. I was also regularly visiting my physician. These things happen far less often (really… never…) and I’d really like to go back to the days of knowing my girlie parts like the back of my hand.

Once a month breast fondling and mirror time is not only a great way to ensure my bits are as healthy as they should be but also wonderful for reassuring me of the beauty of my vagina and breasts ūüėČ

Luckily, every single thing on this list, save for the ben-wa balls, is 100% free and accessible for me – for anyone really, so checking these ones off The List shouldn’t be too hard. It’s just a matter of reminding myself to do them and get them done!

What are some other routines that you could employ to enhance your sex life? Leave your thoughts in the comments below!

EdenFantasys: The Sex Shop You Can Trust!
This post features affiliate link(s) from EdenFantasys.com.