I swear he’s inside my head!
We decided last night, that even though we were going to bed earlier than we have been, we were going to watch porn. We’ve been saying it for a few days now and keep putting it off and putting it off until eventually it’s 4 AM and the sex is going to take 2 hours and the baby will be in 4, so porn doesn’t get watched because ain’t nobody got time for that shit!
But last night, we made time. Honestly though, the porn barely got watched.
It started on the couch. I had already been ready to go for a long time and when he pulled his cock out of his pants, I happily went about licking and sucking it while he picked videos – although really, he just flipped through 20 pages of videos until finally I just threw one on. He’s really enjoying trying to shove as much of himself as he can into my mouth and I have honestly been sucking at deepthroating lately, which is so not me! I get to a certain point and then just close up entirely. I don’t know if he’s noticed or not, but he sure is enjoying it lately.
In between watching the porn or kissing him or licking him, I was desperate to talk. Kept telling him to “tell me something interesting” or asking him questions. I’ve been having a lot of fantasies lately and I was curious if he’s had any. He doesn’t really have a lot of fantasies because he likes his sex rather boring. But for a long time FFM threesomes have been on both of our lists. After the week of the anal sex fantasy that I was having, I suddenly switched hardcore into FFM threesomes and so when he said it, I literally laughed out loud. He’s so in my head.
It wasn’t long before we were saying that we should go upstairs.
I was on top first and neither of us wanted full on penetration yet. I was incredibly wet though and placed him between my lips and let him slide around underneath of me. Our hands were everywhere. I remember his in my hair and mine on his lips, at some point he was holding me up under my boobs and I couldn’t reach him, and then his thumb nestled onto my clit.
I came quickly and much faster than I had wanted to. But, he wasn’t done!
I allowed him to enter me during my orgasm and his face lit up as I gently circled my hips on him. I leaned back, it was getting so hot and I was absolutely covered in sweat. He sat up and shoved my breast in his mouth as he rocked beneath me, his hands all over my back and in my hair. He laid me back and made sure my head was all supported and brought his lips right up to my ear.
I knew he was going to say something and I held my breath in anticipation.
It seemed to take forever. He pulled back just enough to be able to see my face, he wanted to watch my response. In possibly the hottest voice he’s ever had during sex, he half-whispered, half-grunted, “Are you going to be my good little slut tonight?“. Ugh, just writing it out and I can feel it in my clit. There are very few times he calls me the names I really like being called during sex. To him, calling a person a slut or whore or bitch is disrespectful, even if they are literally begging for it!
It’s one of those things that I absolutely love and hate about him.
I answered, “I’ll try!“, knowing that he was asking permission to try for anal. We’ve never tried it with me on my back before, even though it’s been a recurring fantasy of mine. We’ve tried and failed a lot with anal and the times that we have been successful either involve me on my stomach or while spooning. So, I honestly didn’t think it was going to happen. He said knowingly, “You’ll do it!” and his encouragement made me smile.
He grabbed the lube and put some on me and some on him. Almost immediately, I felt like I wasn’t going to make it. I could feel my whole body tighten up the moment he went for it and thank goodness for him in those moments. He put his hands on my chest, right above my breasts and pushed me down as he slowly and steadily pushed on. Every time I looked at him he would say sweet words that would relax me entirely. “You’re doing fine“, “You’re such a good little slut“, “You’re almost there“, “Good girl!” and when I suddenly tensed up and tried to pull off, he just kept me still and talked to me in that voice that makes me tingle.
When he was almost all the way in, he said, “I’m going to come kiss you now” and I nodded never taking my eyes off his.
Again, anal is one of those things that I like a lot more in fantasy than reality. Don’t get me wrong, when we’re doing it and we’re in the moment of it, it’s the hottest thing ever. And I love how, (because we don’t do anal very often…) when we do have a successful go at it, it becomes the thing that is talked about and spurs many more sexperiences. It’s a hot thing that we reminisce about it. But when it comes down to it, I find it to be uncomfortable sex for the most part.
There’s a point where it starts feeling really good, but often that point is completely overshadowed by the discomfort.
The change in position though, from him more leaning back while on top of me, to him up on top of me in our usual missionary position, definitely makes things slide a little easier and he finally gets past that uncomfortable point of penetration. And now he’s sliding in and out of me with ease and we both look at each other with surprise. That has never ever happened.
By this point, it feels like dirty kinky sex, even though it’s really not.
He’s still whispering/grunting sexy words into my ear or kissing my neck and jaw. My hands are mostly on his face or arms and I’m holding onto him rather tightly. It’s really very intimate and we’ve barely had a moment without eye contact. The exact conversation between us is a little hazy, but essentially I tell him I want him to cum in my ass and he calls me a slut again and then I respond with something like, “Fill up your cum dumpster” – which is so entirely unlike me, no idea where it came from. I swear we both literally stopped for a second, took in the word and like had to split-second decide how we felt about it.
Apparently, it worked very much for him and he quickly began pounding into me.
My hand tried to rub my clit as he swelled inside of me, the sensation almost entirely overwhelming me and I pushed my heels into his hips and grabbed roughly at the flesh on his back. He lifted his body up off of mine, both of us drenched in sweat and he moaned, “You need to cum on my cock!” and I frantically went to work on my clit. He stroked my legs, whispering that I was a good girl and that I was doing such a good job. He was almost completely limp by this point but still managing to keep himself buried comfortably inside of me.
I came very hard and without meaning to, dug my nails hard into his arms, hard into his back.
He held my head against his chest as I thrashed about beneath him and moved my hair out of my face as I panted and heaved against him. I could feel my nails tearing at his flesh as he began to slide out of me and I bucked wildly at the incredible sensation of him slipping out while I was still mid-anal orgasm. I couldn’t let him go and even though he was now moving away from me, I simply followed him, nails still desperately gripping his arms.
He stroked my hair and whispered, “You were such a good little slut“. He kissed me and I literally shivered!
But then it was all over. I released his arms, he laid down in his spot, asked if I wanted to lay on his chest. I did and within seconds, he was sound asleep. His arm wasn’t even wrapped around me or anything and I suddenly felt all vulnerable and filled with shame. I had to roll away from him because I couldn’t help but feel slightly mad at him for just leaving me here, in this space.
I slept really well, surprisingly. I haven’t been sleeping well for awhile now and especially since he’s been on holidays. Our bed is just not big enough for all of us. We woke up this morning and one of the first things he said to me was, “Mmm cum dumpster” and I felt a sense of awkwardness. I cuddled into his arm and nothing. He got up and went about getting coffees. That shameful feeling loomed.
To me, anal sex is kinky sex. And even if it wasn’t, intense sex deserves aftercare. And I desperately needed some!
After anal sex, I always feel like I need extra attention. I need a lot of reassurance that I did a good job and that I was pleasing and that I was sexy while it was happening. I need the reassurance that happened during it to be carried on – often for a good day afterwards. Even now, a whole day later, I’m still feeling like I need him to give me extra kisses or touch me extra softly. Because I feel breakable.
And a lot of times, even when he’s giving and giving, I’ll still feel like he’s not giving me the right kind of attention. Like he’s not saying the right words or touching me the right way. And honestly, I think that’s just me after anal sex or really any sex that leaves me feeling a little bit vulnerable and exposed. I also have to say that I kind of love the sex that leaves me feeling that way and even though the day after feels unbearable while I’m in it, I do enjoy being in it.
It took until late this afternoon before I felt like he had given me the attention I had needed.