Incredibly Interesting

The Rantings - For Adults 18+

I’m probably wrong when I say this, but it feels like we have been having more sex than we’ve ever had, ever!

And it’s not just that it’s a lot of sex. It’s a lot of very interesting, out-of-the-box, incredibly hot sex. I don’t know if he feels like he’s pushing his own personal boundaries a lot, but he definitely is. I feel like I’ve never experienced him like this – and straight up, I’m not complaining for one second.

Yesterday, we both checked a fantasy off our list. It’s something we’ve often joked about doing when we’re watching porn. Or when we make home movies for our own personal use. And so a quick 11-second clip was uploaded to Pornhub. We spent all day obsessing. He was chalk full of ideas and has listed a ton more videos that he wants to do.

He’s decided he wants to do an “Off the Beaten Path” series. I’m jealous that he came up with the idea long before I did! I don’t think I’ve ever looked at him with such adoration.

He had asked me not to cum after we had taken that walk. He was also mean and sent me all sorts of sexy messages before I went to bed. I had been on a week-long masturbating streak. So, the denial felt more epic than anything. The next day, I kept having sudden very noticeable twinges and gushes of wetness, but I was finding it hard to be aroused. More annoyed than aroused.

http://valerieraynetumbles.tumblr.com/post/161469985111/when-theboyfriend-is-at-work-and-wont-let-me-cum

Waiting for “release” during the next day, while also watching our clip get views, and being in this continual state of flirting and sexual tension with The Boyfriend, was incredibly sexy and when it was finally time to get started, I was beyond ready.

He wanted to start with a spanking. He wanted to make videos. I got dressed up, he got dressed up. He insisted I looked “innocent” with my mini skirt, lace and pigtails. I insisted he looked “incredible” with his vest, jeans and forearms. While it was a short spanking, it was a good spanking. We had cameras at two different spots in the room and it was interesting to see the spanking from these varying perspectives. It’s always very interesting to me when we watch back through these videos and the parts that I really don’t like are usually his favorites. It’s awfully funny how perception works!

My legs got an epic workout last night and I discovered muscles I forgot I had. Bent over the couch, unintentionally on my tip toes, I got a cramp in the back of my calf. Kneeling beneath him, feet under my bum and legs spread, I felt my ankles tingle, signaling they were beginning to fall asleep. One leg on the floor, the other lifted up onto the couch, I felt the whole back of my thigh burn.

Needless to say, positions were switched up frequently.

He was also trying to get a variety of videos and pictures during the whole thing – which I’m absolutely loving that he’s getting into. I said yesterday on FetLife, and I’ve alluded to it in the past, that I love when he plays photographer and I get to play model. Unfortunately, I often feel too shy, in front of him,to be as good of a model as I know I can be – so a lot of the pictures get vetoed by me before he even gets to see them. However, it doesn’t take away from the fact that it is definitely a huge turn-on for me. Huge!

We ended up losing a bunch of videos that were made that night. Neither of us can figure out how it happened and are sure that they must be somewhere, but where that is exactly, not sure. I haven’t been able to keep focus long enough to have the patience to figure it out, so we ended up just going with what we have, and ended up uploading another Pornhub clip… (although let’s be real, we can just call this one a video…!).

After the video was uploaded, we went upstairs to have more sensual and intimate sex than we’ve been having. Or at least that was the plan. It started with me on top and it was full of kissing and hands and eye contact. It’s been a long while since we had sex in, what I think is called, reverse cowgirl – me on top facing his toes. This particular position is rarely used because I often don’t feel very confident in the view – it’s a very open position, especially being that I tend to lean more forward – which is great when I’m in the mood to be looked at, not so much when I’m not.

This proved to be a lot for both of us and the next thing I knew, I was being mounted and fucked from behind. He wanted me to be noisy so he could get a recording of it. I came rather quickly, my hand just barely rubbing my clit but his cock hitting just the right angle inside of me. The recording continued as he pounded into me while I muttered all sorts of dirty things to him about filling me up and giving me his cock. The sensation of him cumming caused me to shudder beneath him.

This morning, he woke me up to 420 views on our second video, The Smoky Blowjob. We had expected to get more than our first video, but not hundreds¬†more. We’ve been checking into Pornhub all day to watch our views climb and see the comments on our videos. It’s been a great deal of fun.

Probably my most favorite thing though, is this exploration of fantasy that’s happening between us. The constant open communication about sexual things – like desires and limits. Being able to feel comfortable checking in with one another, “And how are you feeling about that?“, and not feeling shame in anyway. The sexual dialogue, which is what I’ve always wanted, is just being incredible right now. It’s making me feel all sorts of lovely things about him and us.

I’m definitely having fun during all of this, although it is kinda hard to feel connected to all of it. It’s interesting to me how the idea of “authentic sexuality” has re-appeared so much in my thoughts, after so long of not thinking of it. It’s interesting that the things that I keep saying most have a lot to do with being authentic and that that seems to be at the front of my mind. And in a way it feels like it’s not me and him experiencing these things – but like other people, people who aren’t us. It’s an interesting sensation and experience, one that has me largely in silence.

The Boyfriend keeps asking, “How are you doing?” and I keep not knowing how to respond, because I’m just kinda meh… I’m equating it to the post-sex blues and we’ll see how I feel after his first night back at work to see if it’s anything more. I’m definitely not looking forward to spending the night away from him and imagine it’ll be an early bedtime because I’ll decide I’m missing him too much.

We plan on getting more videos this weekend and are impatiently awaiting the arrival of our restraints and my Blog-A-Holic bra and underwear, because we have tons of ideas surrounding those things. Also interesting that clothing seems to be spawning fantasies for us… I feel like I’m learning a lot of about me, him, and us during all of this!

What I Learnt From A Month of Orgasms

The Rantings - For Adults 18+

It’s always been #FucketListed for me to orgasm everyday for an entire month.

I mean, sure, I’d love to do it everyday for the rest of my life, but I was trying to be realistic. However, I never really thought I would do it but then I realized a couple days ago that I’m 3 weeks into orgasming everyday at least once a day and figured I should just hold out for 7 more days and then I can un-#FucketListed this!

Sometimes, I had an orgasm during sex and sometimes I had an orgasm from masturbation. Almost always I came from manual (hands/fingers) stimulation of my clit – except for the odd oral orgasm. Sometimes, The Boyfriend was there, actively participating or falling asleep and sometimes, he was at work and I was alone. Every single time was in my bed.

So, what I have learnt about myself, my body and my sexuality over this month-long sexperiment?

  1. The More I Masturbate, The Longer It Takes

    Week 1, I would spend typically 15 – 20 minutes to get to The Big O¬†– unless The Boyfriend was lying next to me sleeping, in which case, it would normally take longer. This last week (so Week 3/4), I haven’t had a single night take me less than 45 minutes

  2. My Mind Runs Wild

    When it comes to sex, The Boyfriend and I typically tend to do the same things over and over again. Not like we have gotten into some rut, but because we both know what we like and we like to do the things that we enjoy. So, we do them!

    But during this month of orgasming daily, my mind has been going wild with all sorts of interesting things. Some nights, I like to stick to fantasizing about what we actually do. But other nights, my mind dips into fantasies I didn’t even know that I had and I’m always surprised at how it keeps coming up with all new things.

    I’ve never had so many sexual fantasies on my brain all the time!

  3. Orgasms Feel Really Good

    After a long and stressful day of cooking and cleaning and dealing with the kids and a baby, nothing feels better than crawling into bed and reaching my hands down my pants. And even though getting to the orgasm can sometimes feel like an unbearable amount of work and I sweat more during the mission than at any other time, that release is the best feeling ever!

    When my muscles all contract and things pulse. I just feel so good. And sleep comes so quickly after working towards my goal for 45 minutes and then achieving it. So much peace!!

  4. Periods Suck!!!

    So, orgasming for 3 weeks… That shit was easy! Week 4 is going to be a challenge. And I never considered this prior to experiencing it, but I forgot entirely that every month, you bleed for a week! Probably because I was just pregnant and didn’t bleed for a long time, but man oh man.

    Orgasms feel incredibly good when you’re on your period. They ease a lot of the unpleasant symptoms of menses. However, there is nothing less arousing than having to push your pad out of the way and hope that you don’t get blood all over your fingers.

  5. One Is Almost Never Enough

    I’m absolutely a 2-orgasm kinda girl. That first orgasm just doesn’t do it for me. It’s like foreplay for me, it just turns me on more. The wetness from that first orgasm always makes where a second is necessary. Only when I was so exhausted that I couldn’t move anymore did I not go for a second.

    Sometimes, a second isn’t even good enough and I had a number of nights where there were upwards of five. The more I did it, the more I felt like I could do more. And when I didn’t go for more when I felt the urge to, I felt like it wasn’t as great of a night, wasn’t as successful, wasn’t as pleasurable. Rarely was the first orgasm good enough to just leave it at that.

I thought after having an orgasm everyday for a month that I would have some sort of cathartic experience where I knew my body and my soul better. I would be in touch with some sort of deeper me. But the reality is, the most prolific thing that I learnt during this sexperience, is that I really love orgasms!

I really love the act of working towards an orgasm. I love exploring the dirty thoughts in my mind and just giving myself over to the pleasure. I love the involuntary rocking and pulsing and throbbing and buildup and release. I love “the final paroxysm” and the way my body tightens and contracts in this amazing rhythm that feels like my own personal symphony. And I love that floaty head feeling, when all your limbs are limp and your heartbeat returns to normal and you can feel the heat of your flushed cheeks.

Could I go for longer than a month? I don’t think so. Could I go for a year? I definitely don’t think so. Would I learn something new if I went longer? Maybe… Orgasms take a lot out of you for how wonderful and amazing they are. It’s not only physically exhausting to be having one or more orgasms everyday, it’s also mentally exhausting. Does the experience make me want more orgasms? Yes, absolutely.

This is Not The Role Reversal Your Looking For…

The Rantings - For Adults 18+

For many years, through thousands of awkward conversations and more than a handful of disappointing moments, I have been the one with the high sex drive while The Boyfriend’s was almost non-existent. Rarely did this ever change and definitely not for longer than a couple nights off.

For many years, I have been the one complaining there wasn’t enough sex (even though the calendar said there was) and I’m the one who’s been openly expressing my fantasies and thinking about sex all day. It’s what I’m used to and where I’ve been at for a really long time. It’s normal for me.

But, we’re going on over a month now, where I seem to have little to no sexual desire at all and he seems to be a raging ball of sexual energy. My eyebrows have been raised many times by his overt expressions of arousal. I’m not used to it from him and apparently it is absolutely throwing me off my game…

We may not be having a whole heck of a lot of sex right now, although if he had his way and wasn’t a such a slave to a good sleep, we’d be having it multiple times a day. And I honestly have no idea what has caused the sudden change and he likes to theorize that maybe we switched statistical genders – where his sex drive is peaking in his late 20’s/early 30’s and my sex drive is dwindling off, as if I was a teenage boy in heat back in the high sex drive years.

In terms of my sex drive, I’m not really sure what’s caused the extreme shift for me. It’s been a really slow and gradual process for me. I remember one night being incredibly aroused during masturbation. Then, I remember that the next night I masturbated not because I had any desire to do so, but because I felt like it would help me sleep. Ever since that night, it’s been a little touch and go.

For the most part, it’s not affecting me much at all. I had one night of issues during sex of not being able to keep myself lubricated. I just was not turned on enough to stay wet and nothing either of us was doing seemed to be helping. It didn’t mean that we stopped or anything and the sex was still great sex and he didn’t really seem to notice a big difference, but I found it to be most unusual. I just chalked it up to lack of fluids or exhaustion and basically ignored it. I had a few more nights of masturbating to put myself to sleep, with hardly any “sexual thoughts” and now it’s been more days than I’ve gone in quite awhile without an orgasm.

And somehow, I’m not craving it…

To be honest, it’s quite disorienting. I haven’t gotten to the point where I’m worried about it, because I’m still able to have sex and orgasm and feel sexual pleasure, but it feels weird to not be in a state of constant arousal and it feels weird to have no real sexual thoughts throughout the day. It feels abnormal for me to have to work so hard to get aroused and stay that way. It doesn’t feel precisely right.

And it especially hits me, how absolutely weird it is, when The Boyfriend starts going off about his sexual thoughts. It’s like I have to hear him say it twice to believe that it’s actually coming out of his mouth. That not only is he having these thoughts but that he’s also openly expressing them frequently. And I didn’t even mention his almost constant half-chubs that he’s walking around with all day!¬†You’d think that I’d be getting turned on by all the sensual passion floating around here lately. Typically, this would make me a wet mess! But it’s just not working out that way.

The concept of role reversal has always been a big interest of mine in the kink-sense. Power exchange has been on my list of things to do since day one! But this is absolutely not the type of role reversal I was looking for at all!¬†Maybe I’ll end up appreciating it or learning something from it at some point.