The Rantings - For Adults 18+

This is Not The Role Reversal Your Looking For…

For many years, through thousands of awkward conversations and more than a handful of disappointing moments, I have been the one with the high sex drive while The Boyfriend’s was almost non-existent. Rarely did this ever change and definitely not for longer than a couple nights off.

For many years, I have been the one complaining there wasn’t enough sex (even though the calendar said there was) and I’m the one who’s been openly expressing my fantasies and thinking about sex all day. It’s what I’m used to and where I’ve been at for a really long time. It’s normal for me.

But, we’re going on over a month now, where I seem to have little to no sexual desire at all and he seems to be a raging ball of sexual energy. My eyebrows have been raised many times by his overt expressions of arousal. I’m not used to it from him and apparently it is absolutely throwing me off my game…

We may not be having a whole heck of a lot of sex right now, although if he had his way and wasn’t a such a slave to a good sleep, we’d be having it multiple times a day. And I honestly have no idea what has caused the sudden change and he likes to theorize that maybe we switched statistical genders – where his sex drive is peaking in his late 20’s/early 30’s and my sex drive is dwindling off, as if I was a teenage boy in heat back in the high sex drive years.

In terms of my sex drive, I’m not really sure what’s caused the extreme shift for me. It’s been a really slow and gradual process for me. I remember one night being incredibly aroused during masturbation. Then, I remember that the next night I masturbated not because I had any desire to do so, but because I felt like it would help me sleep. Ever since that night, it’s been a little touch and go.

For the most part, it’s not affecting me much at all. I had one night of issues during sex of not being able to keep myself lubricated. I just was not turned on enough to stay wet and nothing either of us was doing seemed to be helping. It didn’t mean that we stopped or anything and the sex was still great sex and he didn’t really seem to notice a big difference, but I found it to be most unusual. I just chalked it up to lack of fluids or exhaustion and basically ignored it. I had a few more nights of masturbating to put myself to sleep, with hardly any “sexual thoughts” and now it’s been more days than I’ve gone in quite awhile without an orgasm.

And somehow, I’m not craving it…

To be honest, it’s quite disorienting. I haven’t gotten to the point where I’m worried about it, because I’m still able to have sex and orgasm and feel sexual pleasure, but it feels weird to not be in a state of constant arousal and it feels weird to have no real sexual thoughts throughout the day. It feels abnormal for me to have to work so hard to get aroused and stay that way. It doesn’t feel precisely right.

And it especially hits me, how absolutely weird it is, when The Boyfriend starts going off about his sexual thoughts. It’s like I have to hear him say it twice to believe that it’s actually coming out of his mouth. That not only is he having these thoughts but that he’s also openly expressing them frequently. And I didn’t even mention his almost constant half-chubs that he’s walking around with all day! You’d think that I’d be getting turned on by all the sensual passion floating around here lately. Typically, this would make me a wet mess! But it’s just not working out that way.

The concept of role reversal has always been a big interest of mine in the kink-sense. Power exchange has been on my list of things to do since day one! But this is absolutely not the type of role reversal I was looking for at all! Maybe I’ll end up appreciating it or learning something from it at some point.

The Rantings - For Adults 18+

No Expectations = Good

It was such an odd night last night. The Boyfriend was on his night off from work, we had gotten rid of two out of four of the kids (and all of the ones that hate how loud we can get), and all of this seemed to over-excite him. Normally, his desire makes me desire, but I just wasn’t feeling it at all last night – although I wasn’t about to turn him down.

I was completely weirded out by my lack of interest. Usually, he runs the tip of that one finger up my inner thigh and I’m shivering in anticipation. Last night, I really could’ve taken or left it. So, when he undid his belt and whipped off his pants as I was lounging on the couch, I was not even close to ready for penetration. When he roughly entered my less lubricated nether region, I clawed at him and gasped. Naturally, I became wetter and wetter, but my head still wasn’t in it. I was just going through the actions.

Wasn’t Expecting That!

He came quicker than I was expecting. Honestly, I wasn’t expecting him to cum at all, but he did. He was gentle and sweet as he helped clean me up and got me back into comfiness on the couch. Then we both went back to doing our things, me on my computer and him on his games. We ended up staying up a good two hours later than we were expecting to and I was sure that he would pass out the moment his head hit the pillow.

Again, my brain just wasn’t in the game. He was not ready for sleep but was immediately ready for his round two. He rolled me onto my side and began quickly pounding me and I gripped at the sheets, begging my pussy to just get wet. He rolled me onto my back and flung my legs up around his shoulders and the deepness of him sent my hands to his hair where I pulled hard until his head was all the way back. “Let me up!“, I winced and he hastily rose off me.

I went and got a drink, went to the bathroom and checked to make sure there were no reasons why I wasn’t getting as lubricated as I normally do. All was good, so I went back upstairs worrying about my level of desire. I laid down next to The Boyfriend, even though he was anticipating being mounted, and he rolled to caress my legs. He asked, his voice soft and smooth, “Do you wanna roll onto your stomach?” and I nodded and rolled as he worked himself behind me.

Didn’t Expect That!

My fingers went to work on my clit, and I lazily wriggled my hands between my legs. Even though I didn’t feel it, he whispered into my ear, “You’re so wet!“. He slid out of me precisely a moment later and as he thrust forward my hand was smothered in the slick liquid. Just as easily as he had slid out, he slid back in and I sighed audibly with relief, my fingers now working with more effort towards their goal.

His hands suddenly felt so rough on my back and ass, moving back and forth in various configurations, pushing down here and there. I buried my face in my pillow as he grabbed one ass cheek hard on with one hand and my opposite shoulder blade with the other hand, half pulling me back, half pushing me down – the fabric barely muffling the moans as they escaped with each thrust. He kept trying to kiss my neck or my cheeks, but my hair kept getting in the way, or I’d move just as his lips got near.

Both hands gripped at my ass and as he pulled, his cock slid out between my cheeks. I thought for sure he was going to try for anal, especially being there was now an abundance of natural lubrication. Instead, he pushed my cheeks together and sensually ran himself between them and I quivered and cooed beneath him. When he pulled my cheeks apart again, he slid right back into my waiting pussy and held my flesh tightly between his clenched fists.

Kinda Expected That…

A few thrusts later, I pushed back onto him roughly as my orgasm rippled through my chest and as it reached my ribs, he thrust hard and deep and unloaded himself, the shockwaves lashing through him until he collapsed onto my back, breathing heavy with exhaustion. My orgasm had stopped at his first shot and felt tight in my whole abdomen. All I could think about was releasing that feeling.

I began to roll and he rolled off of me and I immediately went to work on my clit. He half dozed off/half caressed my inner thighs or sporadically tweaked my nipple, and eventually I turned my head away and closed my eyes doing everything I could to tune everything else, save for the sensations circling my clit, out. I struggled and I remember wanting to give up as a cramp nestled into my masturbating arm and my boob kept sticking to the sweat on my non-masturbating arm. But the feeling in my gut kept me going and going and going.

I felt it coming for what felt like forever and The Boyfriend must’ve too, because he seemed to completely wake up and his hands gently ran up and down my legs, tugging every so often. The tip of his finger slid across that area where thigh meets vulva, and my whole body froze for a second before quaking through an orgasm that left my whole body tight. I collapsed back from the almost ball-like state I had convulsed into and panted through the remaining twitches, suddenly realizing how utterly exhausted I felt.

Lesson Learnt: No Expectations = Good

He curled up nice and tight next to me, keeping me as warm as he could with his arms on my breasts. I put my cold toes against his calves and it was mere moments before we were both dead to the world asleep. It was a much shorter sleep than we were expecting to get, by a lot, but it was a really deep sleep and we were both surprised at how well we’ve functioned today. He’s already talking about more sex tonight and what he has in store for me – even his humor is dirtier than usual. At least my brain’s a little more in the game tonight 😉