The Rantings - For Everyone

Looking Forward to 2018

Over the last couple of posts, I’ve been looking to the past as most of us do, as one year comes to an ending and another begins. First, I looked at some of my stats for my 2017 in Review and then I took a walk down memory lane and looked back over some of the more memorable moments of the year in Looking Back on 2017.

But now, there’s no more looking back to be done. There’s only time for looking ahead!

I’ve got some pretty big goals coming up this year. I had hoped to get a lot more done in 2017 than I did, especially in terms of blogging-related goals, but it ended up being a much busier year in real life. This year is also going to be pretty busy, but I’m getting sick of all these things sitting on the back burner.

So, here’s some of the things I have planned to do in 2018.


  • Start publishing WTMFI Wednesdays on Wednesdays

    I currently publish each session of WTMFI Wednesdays whenever I get around to it. At the time of publishing this post, I’m 3 sessions behind! I’d love to start publishing these on Wednesdays! Gotta catch up first…

  • Start doing other memes or bring back past memes

    I love memes, like a lot. They are a great way to get constant inspiration and to consistently post on your blog. I have done a few of these in the past and would like to start adding more to my repertoire. Some of them, I’d like to participate in regularly and some just every once and awhile.

    • #MasturbationMonday

      Hosted by Kayla Lords, Masturbation Monday challenges you to “write a steamy hot post about masturbation or so hot, it’ll make people want to masturbate.” I’ve never done this one, but would love to!

    • #TMITuesday

      In the vein of WTMFI Wednesdays (and probably about as old), TMI Tuesday “is a confessional of sorts where people come to reveal too much information–sexy secrets, dirty deeds, and more.” I’ve never done this one, but have always wanted to!

    • #WickedWednesday

      Wicked Wednesday is a “place where you can share your wicked sexiness or your sexy wickedness! Be creative and share!” I’ve never done this one, but think it could be fun to do every once and awhile.

    • #ThrowbackThursday

      I previously did these recap posts of my #ThrowbackThursday’s on Facebook. I still haven’t found an easy way to be able to just see these posts, so I was collecting them up myself! I want to start doing this again!

    • #FridayFavorites

      I’m a lot of places all over the web. Sometimes it’s hard to keep up with what I’m doing everywhere. So, #FridayFavorites served as a place to show you all of the stuff – from my favorite Tumblr post of the week to my favorite Tweet. I really enjoyed doing these, so I’m bringing it back!

    • #SaturdaySerenade

      #SaturdaySerenade used to be a poetry hashtag used by The Erotic Writers Group. I’m stealing it and also transforming it into a song hashtag. I plan to use it every Saturday to share musical-type things with you. You can expect to see song lyrics written by me or song lyrics that I just absolutely love and YouTube cover videos.

    • #TumblrFavorites

      Back in the day, every 3 months, you could expect to see a #TumblrFavorites post. I’d do a rundown of all the best posts to my Tumblr over that time period. I seriously miss doing these and I miss Tumblr, so I’m bringing it back!

  • Publish my first book of erotic limericks

    I’ve been working on this project for about half a year now. I decided awhile ago that it was on the list to publish my first book and also decided that that first book would be a collection of erotic limericks written by me. They’re my favorite type of poem, I love writing them and that’s why it’s going to be my first book!

  • Finish The Mermaid

    I was challenged by a member of The Erotic Writers Group last year to write a story about a mermaid. And I’ve been working mighty hard on this story on and off since I was challenged. I’m determined to have this finished this year!!!

  • Complete the first draft of The Brighton Tales

    The Brighton Tales has been a story in my head for almost a decade. I have every intention of getting this at least somewhat more complete this year. I want to get it to the point where I have the whole thing down on paper and out of my head!

  • Re-launch The Erotic Writers Group (I say this every year)

    Every year I say it and every year I mean it!

    As the creator and founder of The Erotic Writers Group, it’s my responsibility to maintain and expand this community for readers and writers of erotica. Some years, I’m absolutely amazing and the group thrives and does great. Other years, I’m a total slacker and basically just let the group do it’s thing.

    For years, I’ve been wanting to really dedicate a lot of my effort into this group. Get the website that I’ve been talking about going, post regularly and make products and publish books and the list really goes on and on and on.

    This year, I want to buckle down hard!!! Prioritize this like crazy and finally, finally bring my vision to life!!!

  • Start posting videos on Pornhub again…

    It’s been quite awhile since The Boyfriend and I posted videos on Pornhub. It wasn’t a planned experience, so we didn’t plan to keep posting. But we’ve both expressed an interest in doing more. We’ve got tons of ideas and now it’s just a matter of following through.

  • Take a lot more pictures of everything!!!

    I keep getting Facebook memories that make me think, “I should’ve gotten a picture of that!“. There’s so many memories that we’re missing out on. Plus, there’s a new baby about to be a part of our family. Always good to take lots of pictures during that time, since it goes so fast! I also want to become a better photographer and practice makes perfect.

  • Make more products for my Zazzle store

    I bet you didn’t even know I have a Zazzle store... I do and I even have some products. When I do work on this, I work pretty hard. However, I’m likely to forget it even exists for a long time. More designs, more products, more promotion!!!

  • Start playing a Sims 4 Legacy Challenge

    Way back in March, I had asked which legacy challenge I should do as my first Sims 4 challenge after my hiatus. However, I never got around to starting any challenges. I recently ran a poll on my Facebook page asking if I should even bother with the Sims 4 on ValerieRayne.com.

    Either way, I want to play a Sims 4 Legacy Challenge – even if I don’t blog about it!

  • Write something erotic once a week

    Currently, I publish erotica all willy-nilly. I want to do it a lot more!!! I think if I could dedicate myself to writing one erotic thing once a week, I’d be very happy.

  • Write a poem or song once a week

    I used to write poems/songs daily. Now, I’m lucky if it happens once or twice a year. Honestly, this year I’d just like to be more creative in general. And I really want to expand my original songs repertoire, because right now, it’s super tiny!

  • Record a new cover or original to YouTube once a month

    It’s always been a goal of mine to become more active on my YouTube channel. I’d love to be able to add a new video at least once a month. Eventually, I’d love to do a daily vlog too, but really I just need to get comfortable with a little bit more consistency on there!

  • Check into my Tumblr at least once a week

    I was doing a great job of this for quite a long time. And then, I went through a period of rarely ever being aroused and Tumblr really went to the way back burner. I haven’t even looked at it in a few weeks now… It’s time to get back to the good ole days and check into my Tumblr more often!!!

  • Participate in the Goodreads reading challenge

    I have been participating in this for a few years now. Usually, I set the bar way too high and never come even close to the mark. Last year, I set the bar incredibly low with only 1 book to read and of course, did it. This year, I want to actually challenge myself but also make it a reachable goal, so I’ve chosen to try to read 13 books (one for each month and one for good luck 😉)

  • Buy and review an erotic eBook once a month

    Currently, I don’t read any erotica. I never seem to be able to find the time or the space to just sit down and do it. But I really want to support some of the people who have supported me over the years – especially members of The Erotic Writers Group. I also want to try my hand at writing reviews 😉

  • Figure out a way to offer audio of all of my blog posts

    I don’t know why, but I’ve been obsessed with this idea for about half a year now. First of all, I think sometimes my writing comes off as confusing because you can’t get my tone or inflection through commas and exclamation points! Also, I know there is an audience, especially for posts like my erotica or sexperiences.

    I haven’t figured out how I want to do this or what exactly I want it to be like (so if you have any suggestions…), I just know that I’ve been obsessed with the idea and so I have to figure out how to do it!


Ultimately, we can sum up all my goals for the year into three words: More, Consistency and Creativity.  I want to be more consistent and I want to be more creative. I want to finish something, not just start it. Now, it’s just a matter of getting it done!!!

The Rantings - For Everyone

5 Things That Happened During My Hiatus

My hiatus officially began in the fall of 2016 and by Christmas, I had shut down my blog and turned its maintenance feature on. I went silent on social networks for awhile and allowed The Erotic Writers Group (which at the time had about 750 members and of which I am the sole moderator) to run itself. I explained the reasons why in the post Welcome Back… Finally!!!, so today I wanted to tell you about 5 relatively major life events that happened during my hiatus.

  1. Cazzwell’s Birth

    We had hoped it wouldn’t happen in September and he heard us and came on the last day of August. I woke up from contractions in the late afternoon. Kaeidyn insisted we wake The Boyfriend up and he insisted we go straight to the hospital the moment he saw my face.

    In what was called a “precipitous labor” (which Google has informed me means a labor that takes less than 3 hours from start to finish), we welcomed Cazzwell into the world. The first few weeks were an adjustment to say the least. He took awhile getting back up to his birth weight, so there were more doctors visits and home visits than we had been anticipating, which made things more stressful. The kids all wanted to be such big help but hadn’t had much experience with newborns, so lots of heart stopping moments. And, there was a new baby in our house for the first time seven years… So, there was that…

    In the last almost 6 months, he’s grown exceptionally fast. Sprouted his first tooth at 4 months, he sits up all by himself and now he’s figuring out crawling – already up on the hands and knees, kinda rocks himself and then falls forward onto his belly. You’d be amazed at how far across a room he can make it like that! Everywhere we go, all anyone can talk about is how quickly he’s growing up.

  2. I Turned 30

    The best thing about turning 30 was definitely The Boyfriend! After the kids broke my last laptop, he went out and got me a new one. Then, spent the day making me feel like his sexy older woman, because that’s a thing now until he turns 30 (very soon – muwhahaha!). The kids were all sweet before school, waking me up with Happy Birthdays but after school, they were their normal usual bratty selves.

    I had made a lot of plans for things that I wanted to have done in my life by the time I was 30. I wanted to be married – even telling The Boyfriend that if he hadn’t married me by the time I was 30, it wasn’t going to happen. I wanted to have a career and be on my way to owning a home and have my driver’s licence and know where my g-spot is…

    Alas, that was not what coming into 30 has been like, at all. I’m still only common-law and at this point probably always will be. I’m jobless in a rented townhouse being driven around by my much-more-amazing-than-I-deserve boyfriend and I still orgasm from clitoral stimulation only! I honestly thought I would be a lot more upset about it. And I was, on the 13th day of November, devastated. But then, when I woke up the next day, I was washed in gratitude and so far, that is what 30 has been for me. Everyday, I look at what life has given and is giving me and I am just so grateful!

  3. Got a Guitar

    I posted on Facebook that I missed having a guitar. I do it every time I’m without a guitar for any length of time. One of my maternal aunts, who I sadly never talk to anymore, commented asking when I’d be home. A day or two later, she brought over a guitar.

    It’s nothing crazy special and she’s not super amazing, but holding a guitar in my hands again feels really good! I’ve been doing terribly at playing her and am saddened when I think about how much time she spends put away. But it’s been a long time since I’ve played and so often times, it feels like I’m having to relearn everything I already know or like I just absolutely suck. And sometimes, I can have fun in that place where I’m sucking and just go with it and smile, but other times, it just makes me not want to play for a while.

    Plus, none of the people in my house seem to have any respect for a guitar session!! I can play through a lot of things, but lately, it has been exceptionally hard to play through my family.

    From The Boyfriend, who not only doesn’t listen to me play at all (which always bothers me a little bit) but also has to leave the volume up just enough on his games to be completely distracting, to the older children who decide that the moment I start playing is the moment to ask me questions and tell me every detail about whatever game it is they are playing (or in the case of Kaeidyn, which anime she’s watching…) to the baby who apparently isn’t very fond of guitar (or maybe it’s the guitar over top of all the other noises) because I have only had one session so far that wasn’t interrupted by a total tantrum.

  4. Almost Baby #6

    Sometime near the middle of January, we discovered that we were pregnant again. Definitely not what we had wanted or were expecting. I was literally shaking and sweating as I took the second test, because we didn’t trust the first one. We waited a week until we told his sister and mom and then we told the kids. Kaeidyn literally broke down in tears and told us we “can’t have anymore kids!” and only Carter seemed excited. We didn’t tell my mom until…

    Two weeks later, I had a day of some pretty intense cramps and some bleeding and about a week after that, I – as the doctors put it – “expelled the tissue”. I cried hard, really hard. Harder than I had expected to. Not because I was upset that I had lost the baby. That I was mostly relieved by because I don’t feel ready to have a Baby #6. I was upset because I had miscarried. Because I had had to feel it and experience it. Because I couldn’t maintain a life. Because, yet again, I had failed.

    Ultimately, I haven’t been all that affected by it. I spent a few days in a constantly-near-tears state and The Boyfriend was there every time to hold me tight and I came to terms with it relatively easily. Again, not expecting that. I was just saying to The Boyfriend today that I’m glad we weren’t trying, because we aren’t entirely devastated over it. I think if we were trying or even if it was like the other kids where we weren’t necessarily trying but we weren’t doing anything to prevent it, then I think we would have both been ruined by it – I know I would.

  5. #ReDesign2017

    I fell out of love with my blog. It happens more often than I’d like to admit. In the olden days, I would’ve just started a new blog. But I have a domain now, I pay for stuff, I have commitments. So, I undertook the epic challenge of redesigning ValerieRayne.com.

    Honestly, it took a heck of a lot longer than I wanted it to and it was a heck of a lot harder than I was anticipating! Right now though, I’m feeling like it was totally worth it. It inspired me to pick up projects that I had been neglecting, inspired me to start doing #ThrowbackThursdays on Facebook, and I have pages and pages of thoughts and ideas to continue inspiring me. I have fallen back in love with my blog.

    I’ve got lots of plans over the next little while. You’ll see the return of #FridayFavorites and #TumblrFavorites – both even better than they were before. New erotica will be coming your way, especially as The Erotic Writers Group heats up for 2017. I officially started working on The Brighton Tales again and maybe another book *wink*. Some of my biggest goals here this year center around The Sims, The List and The Gallery – all of which I’d like to see a lot more posts in! And as always, I invite you to leave me comments and let me know what you’d like to see more of and I’ll do my best!

The beginning of my life as a 30-year-old mom of five in 2017 (there’s 3 changes in a sentence!) has been filled with ups and downs and weird squiggly lines. It’s been filled with changes and tears and so much gratitude and love. And I’m just so excited glad to be back from my  hiatus. I’m looking forward to 2017 on ValerieRayne.com! Are you?

The Rantings - For Everyone

Down Three Kids

Well, we dropped the three older kids off yesterday. The drive out to Leduc was nice and the highways were clear. The kids were all pretty tired, so they mostly dozed or sat quietly in the back. Even though we got lost in Leduc (mainly because The Boyfriend and I never trust my navigating instincts – mainly because I’ve proven I suck at it), it was a good time and the kids were all super excited to get to go to their Dad’s, or in Carter’s case, get rid of the kids.

The Boyfriend went to sleep once we got home because he had to work that night and my plan was to stay up with Carter. About an hour later, I was dozing off on the couch while Carter played games. He must’ve realized how tired I was because he sat down quietly next to me and let me nap for the next two hours and it was beautiful. Then we had my brother over and Carter had a great night hanging out with Uncle.

Today, The Boyfriend and I ended up sleeping basically the entire day away. Just couldn’t wake ourselves up for anything. Luckily, my brother stuck around and played with Carter and it was a generally great sleep. I feel a lot more rested now than I have in a while.

Honestly, I’ve been feeling all sorts of exhausted, all the time. It doesn’t help that I’m not eating properly, not getting out of the house enough, basically not taking very good care of myself AND that my sleep schedule has shifted from normal to graveyard. I’ve been finding it very hard to fall asleep any earlier than six in the morning, even when I head up to bed hours earlier. And while this is the most routine sleep schedule that I’ve been on in years, I can just feel it kicking my ass.

Once I’m awake, I just don’t want to do anything, at all. Motivating myself to do any of the things that I’m supposed to be doing is incredibly difficult right now. All I want to do is wrap myself up in warmth and veg. And I spend all of that time that I’m vegging, beating myself up for not doing all the things that I’m supposed to be doing. Of course, instead of just getting up off my ass and doing those things, I just sit there down-talking myself and my actions. It’s unproductive and adds to the exhausted feeling.

In other, less depressing news, we’ve got big plans to get the house cleaned while we’re down three kids. I’ve already decided that we’re taking a portion of our gift cards to get ourselves a device that will make our floors easier to clean. We’ve been using mops but we haven’t been able to find one that works good enough. So, I want to look for other options for getting these floors clean. I’m also hoping that we’ll finally take all the broken or unused pieces of furniture to the dump, because it’s been on my to-do list all year and it’s absolutely time. We can’t start replacing all the crap stuff until we get rid of it!

I’m not sure how long the kids are going to be gone at this point. I like to play it by ear instead of setting a specific date. Sometimes, I end up missing the kids a lot and want them back sooner. Sometimes, plans get made and it’s easier to have them stay longer. Sometimes, their Dad needs to send them home earlier or wants to keep them an extra couple days. Sometimes, the weather is bad. So, we play it by ear. I know it’s going to be at least a week and The Boyfriend has a couple of those days off, so we should be able to go all of my cleaning to-do list done and I’m quite excited about it.

But for today, he has one night off and for him, that means it’s a gaming night. I’m glad to have him distracted right now because for the last couple of nights, all he’s wanted to do is talk about is Star Wars. While I have great respect for Star Wars and would consider myself a fan, I’m nowhere near obsessed as he is and it is incredibly exhausting to “fake” interest. And I put “fake” in quotations because it’s not that I’m faking, it’s that I’m not nearly as interested as he is.

For example, I don’t care enough to watch every trailer before the release of the movie. I figure, I’ll see the movie when it comes out. I don’t care to pick apart those trailers to try to figure out the movie before it’s released. I figure, I’ll see the movie when it comes out and figure it out at that point (and all the times that I watch it after that first time…). However, that stuff is exciting for him and important to his experience. So, I pay attention to what he’s telling me so that I can ask him questions about those interests, “faking” this extreme interest, because it’s important for him to be able to share that experience with me. It’s one of my favorite parts of being me in a relationship, but I sure do love getting a break!

Now I just have to figure out what I’m going to do while he’s gaming it up 😉

#FridayFavorites - For Everyone

#FridayFavorites: For the Week of December 11 – 18

Ever wanted to be able to see what I’m up to all over the web without actually having to go all over the web? Well, now you can with #FridayFavorites. Join me every Friday to see my favorite finds and posts over the last week.


Favorite Tumblr Find

Everything you find on my Tumblr will be absolutely NSFW and totally intended for adults only! But here’s my favorite PG-13 find from this week and be sure to check out my #TumblrFavorites posts.

http://valerieraynetumbles.tumblr.com/post/135483746051/bestof-society6-art-prints-by-fariedesign

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Favorite Tweet

In the same week that I got my expansion, The Boyfriend got Fallout 4. I’ve been enjoying playing on and off, but I’ve come to this realization:

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Favorite Instagram Update

There’s a store at Kaeidyn’s school and she decided to get everyone, including the parents, Christmas presents. This year, I got an awesome ugly Christmas sweater!

I have the best 11-year-old daughter ever! Got me an #UglyChristmasSweater 😉

A post shared by Valerie Rayne (@valerierayne) on

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Favorite YouTube Video

It’s been a constant stream of conversations about Star Wars in the last few weeks in our house as everyone gears up for seeing the seventh movie. We also get a kick out of Jimmy Fallon, so it only makes sense to share:

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Favorite Posts Over the Last Week

In case you might’ve missed them over the last little while, here’s my favorite posts from around here over the last week…

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Well, that’s my #FridayFavorites.

I encourage you to follow me wherever you are and if you have favorites that are different from mine, let me know what you loved in the comments below! And be sure to join me next Friday for another installment of #FridayFavorites – what will I find?

This post is from The List and is for everyone.

TO DO: Online

I’ve spent a lot of time over the last couple of days mindlessly clicking around on the computer, not really sure what to do or where to go. I’ve been writing a lot of posts that aren’t getting finished and I’ve just generally been feeling a huge lack of motivation and inspiration, even though it’s literally staring me in the face!

I think the biggest problem is that there are just so many things that I want to be doing, so many things that I should be doing and so many things that I could be doing, that it’s just a little bit overwhelming. I decided I needed to get the to-do list out of my head so that maybe I can make some progress, any progress…

Things I Want to Be Doing Online:

  • Listening to podcasts

    I subscribe to a few different podcasts always with the thinking that I’m going to listen to, but I just never seem to find the moment or desire to listen to them, so they just sit there piling up on me…

    In a perfect world: I’d love to listen to podcasts live. I’d even be happy with one night a week listening to podcasts. Ideally, I’d spend an hour every night listening to podcasts – since I follow enough to fill up that schedule quickly…

  • Reading articles

    There are so many things to read on the internet. I’ve always wanted to read articles from my favorite blogs and relevant to my interests. And while I’ll occasionally click, the reality is that I’m missing huge amounts of content because I’m not regularly reading those articles.

    In a perfect world: I’d save any articles that I was interested in reading (using something like Pocket) and spend a minimum of an hour every night going over the reading I had saved up for the day.

  • Instagram-ing

    Currently, I post to Instagram and check in on it whenever I post a picture. As those who follow me may notice, I rarely ever post pictures. I’d like that whole entire thing to change!

    In a perfect world: I’d like to take one selfie, one landscape photo and one picture of the kids every single day – that would be ideal for me.

  • Publishing a Book

    This is so high up there on my list right now! I’ve been thinking about it constantly and debating the pros and cons of my options and I just feel like I’m not closer to anything. But, I really want to publish a book and make my first $0.99 sale and the ultimate goal is to one day hold my work in a print book in my hands!

    In a perfect world: By the end of 2016, I’d really like to have a plan to accomplish this goal!

  • Releasing YouTube Videos

    I used to release cover videos on a relatively regular basis, back when I had a guitar. Then, my guitar broke and I basically stopped putting out videos. I miss the good ole days and I’d like to go back to them.

    In a perfect world: More than just covers, I’d like to release a few different kinds of videos. It’d be fun to release vlogs of life with the family, covers and original songs, as well as some things about my biggest interests – sexuality, erotica and The Sims 4. I’m thinking, release a video at least twice a week.

There are, of course, a number of other “goals” I have for online, such as a certain number of Tweets per week or certain types of content on Facebook, for example. However, those aren’t really things that I’d like to be doing so much as things that I’m currently attempting to do – maybe I’ll go into that in a different post. But these are just a few of things that I’d like to be doing online.

#FridayFavorites - For Everyone

#FridayFavorites: For the Week of September 4 – 11

Ever wanted to be able to see what I’m up to all over the web without actually having to go all over the web? Well, now you can with #FridayFavorites. Join me every Friday to see my favorite finds and posts over the last week.

“I’ve been dealing with a lot of stress this week, WAY too many firsts. It resulted in me being completely unaware that it was Friday yesterday and therefore I missed this week’s #FridayFavorites . Oh well, next week…”
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Favorite Google+ Update

With back-to-school well underway, there’s lots of lists being made and lots to do. Including goals for the rest of the year…

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Favorite Pinterest Board

I recently ran across a bunch of vintage stuff on Pinterest and this spurred the creation of the All Things Vintage board, which literally has everything vintage!

Follow Valerie’s board All Things Vintage on Pinterest.


Favorite Song

I literally just heard this song thanks to Spotify and it’s suggestions and I think it’s going to end up on my regularly listened to lists very soon! Enjoy “The Wire” by HAIM.


Favorite Tumblr Find

Everything you find on my Tumblr will be absolutely NSFW and totally intended for adults only! But here’s my favorite PG-13 find from this week and be sure to check out my upcoming #TumblrFavorites post.

#TumblrFavorites: Top 5 Tumblrs – September 2015 (View on Tumblr)

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Favorite Facebook Update

It seemed like we spent the entire weekend celebrating Keirnan’s eighth birthday and there was a lot of talking about how long ago it seemed like he was a baby, how much he’s grown.

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Favorite Tweet

I spent part of the week working on stuff for The Erotic Writers Group, which meant that I jumped onto Zazzle for a little bit. While I didn’t get anything done that I had intended to, I did do this…

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Favorite Posts

In case you might’ve missed them over the last little while, here’s my favorite posts from around here over the last week…

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Well, that’s my #FridayFavorites.

I encourage you to follow me wherever you are and if you have favorites that are different than mine, let me know what you loved in the comments below! And be sure to join me next Friday for another installment of #FridayFavorites – what will I find?