The Rantings - For Adults 18+

Incredibly Interesting

I’m probably wrong when I say this, but it feels like we have been having more sex than we’ve ever had, ever!

And it’s not just that it’s a lot of sex. It’s a lot of very interesting, out-of-the-box, incredibly hot sex. I don’t know if he feels like he’s pushing his own personal boundaries a lot, but he definitely is. I feel like I’ve never experienced him like this – and straight up, I’m not complaining for one second.

Yesterday, we both checked a fantasy off our list. It’s something we’ve often joked about doing when we’re watching porn. Or when we make home movies for our own personal use. And so a quick 11-second clip was uploaded to Pornhub. We spent all day obsessing. He was chalk full of ideas and has listed a ton more videos that he wants to do.

He’s decided he wants to do an “Off the Beaten Path” series. I’m jealous that he came up with the idea long before I did! I don’t think I’ve ever looked at him with such adoration.

He had asked me not to cum after we had taken that walk. He was also mean and sent me all sorts of sexy messages before I went to bed. I had been on a week-long masturbating streak. So, the denial felt more epic than anything. The next day, I kept having sudden very noticeable twinges and gushes of wetness, but I was finding it hard to be aroused. More annoyed than aroused.

http://valerieraynetumbles.tumblr.com/post/161469985111/when-theboyfriend-is-at-work-and-wont-let-me-cum

Waiting for “release” during the next day, while also watching our clip get views, and being in this continual state of flirting and sexual tension with The Boyfriend, was incredibly sexy and when it was finally time to get started, I was beyond ready.

He wanted to start with a spanking. He wanted to make videos. I got dressed up, he got dressed up. He insisted I looked “innocent” with my mini skirt, lace and pigtails. I insisted he looked “incredible” with his vest, jeans and forearms. While it was a short spanking, it was a good spanking. We had cameras at two different spots in the room and it was interesting to see the spanking from these varying perspectives. It’s always very interesting to me when we watch back through these videos and the parts that I really don’t like are usually his favorites. It’s awfully funny how perception works!

My legs got an epic workout last night and I discovered muscles I forgot I had. Bent over the couch, unintentionally on my tip toes, I got a cramp in the back of my calf. Kneeling beneath him, feet under my bum and legs spread, I felt my ankles tingle, signaling they were beginning to fall asleep. One leg on the floor, the other lifted up onto the couch, I felt the whole back of my thigh burn.

Needless to say, positions were switched up frequently.

He was also trying to get a variety of videos and pictures during the whole thing – which I’m absolutely loving that he’s getting into. I said yesterday on FetLife, and I’ve alluded to it in the past, that I love when he plays photographer and I get to play model. Unfortunately, I often feel too shy, in front of him,to be as good of a model as I know I can be – so a lot of the pictures get vetoed by me before he even gets to see them. However, it doesn’t take away from the fact that it is definitely a huge turn-on for me. Huge!

We ended up losing a bunch of videos that were made that night. Neither of us can figure out how it happened and are sure that they must be somewhere, but where that is exactly, not sure. I haven’t been able to keep focus long enough to have the patience to figure it out, so we ended up just going with what we have, and ended up uploading another Pornhub clip… (although let’s be real, we can just call this one a video…!).

After the video was uploaded, we went upstairs to have more sensual and intimate sex than we’ve been having. Or at least that was the plan. It started with me on top and it was full of kissing and hands and eye contact. It’s been a long while since we had sex in, what I think is called, reverse cowgirl – me on top facing his toes. This particular position is rarely used because I often don’t feel very confident in the view – it’s a very open position, especially being that I tend to lean more forward – which is great when I’m in the mood to be looked at, not so much when I’m not.

This proved to be a lot for both of us and the next thing I knew, I was being mounted and fucked from behind. He wanted me to be noisy so he could get a recording of it. I came rather quickly, my hand just barely rubbing my clit but his cock hitting just the right angle inside of me. The recording continued as he pounded into me while I muttered all sorts of dirty things to him about filling me up and giving me his cock. The sensation of him cumming caused me to shudder beneath him.

This morning, he woke me up to 420 views on our second video, The Smoky Blowjob. We had expected to get more than our first video, but not hundreds¬†more. We’ve been checking into Pornhub all day to watch our views climb and see the comments on our videos. It’s been a great deal of fun.

Probably my most favorite thing though, is this exploration of fantasy that’s happening between us. The constant open communication about sexual things – like desires and limits. Being able to feel comfortable checking in with one another, “And how are you feeling about that?“, and not feeling shame in anyway. The sexual dialogue, which is what I’ve always wanted, is just being incredible right now. It’s making me feel all sorts of lovely things about him and us.

I’m definitely having fun during all of this, although it is kinda hard to feel connected to all of it. It’s interesting to me how the idea of “authentic sexuality” has re-appeared so much in my thoughts, after so long of not thinking of it. It’s interesting that the things that I keep saying most have a lot to do with being authentic and that that seems to be at the front of my mind. And in a way it feels like it’s not me and him experiencing these things – but like other people, people who aren’t us. It’s an interesting sensation and experience, one that has me largely in silence.

The Boyfriend keeps asking, “How are you doing?” and I keep not knowing how to respond, because I’m just kinda meh… I’m equating it to the post-sex blues and we’ll see how I feel after his first night back at work to see if it’s anything more. I’m definitely not looking forward to spending the night away from him and imagine it’ll be an early bedtime because I’ll decide I’m missing him too much.

We plan on getting more videos this weekend and are impatiently awaiting the arrival of our restraints and my Blog-A-Holic bra and underwear, because we have tons of ideas surrounding those things. Also interesting that clothing seems to be spawning fantasies for us… I feel like I’m learning a lot of about me, him, and us during all of this!

The List - For Adults 18+

No Longer #FucketListed: An Over-The-Knee Spanking

Since the very beginning of my creation of bucket lists, I have had “get an over-the-knee spanking” at the very top.

When I was pregnant with Carter (about 8ish years ago), The Boyfriend had agreed to spank me. It was a short-lived situation that was a lot of fun for me. But after we had Carter, spankings went completely out the window. And that over-the-knee spanking stayed on the list.

Well, no longer!!!

He’s been spoiling me a lot lately. We’ve had some stuff going on aka “the crap we’re going through” (I’m attempting to write posts about this, but its taking some serious time, so I’m not going to go into too much detail), but in one way or another, things are changing for us. I think he feels very insecure in our relationship right now – and not without cause – and so he’s over-compensating in other ways in an attempt to save what feels to him like a failing relationship. Although, I assure you and him both that I am not going anywhere and have no desire to!!!

Anyways, back to the point of this post…

So, the spoiling started a few days ago. We went on a trip to Wal-Mart to pick up a few things and I walked out with basically an entire summer wardrobe. A few shirts, pants and shorts and a bunch of new thongs that I picked out because I knew he would like them. Then of course, there was the trip to Drumheller and that whole experience (which I’m also writing a post about…). On his last night off, I decide to slip into one of the dresses we got and one of the thongs.

We’re sitting on the couch and he decides to moisturize my feet and legs. This doesn’t happen very often anymore, but used to be a regular occurrence for us. After he’s done, he tells me to lay across his lap. I figure he’s just planning on moisturizing the backs of my thighs or maybe give me a nice ass massage. He lifts up the hem of my dress and then…

Hard, hard, hard slap right on my left cheek.

I squirmed, I kicked, I yelped. He liked that and the next thing you know, we’re having a good long spanking session. A hard spanking session. No real warm-up, no gentleness. He had said earlier in the day during an intense discussion that we were “going to have angry sex tonight“, and his hands felt angry¬†but there was a tenderness in all the hardness.

I was all over the place on the couch across his legs. After the first few hits, every single one felt incredibly intense. My whole ass felt red everywhere, even though he had been hitting almost the exact same spot over and over on each cheek – save for the one closest to him. A few hits, just the edge of his palm or his fingertips, would nick between my legs and I would heave frantically – pain shooting through my insides and then subsiding in a way that literally made me feel the color red.

One good slap on my right cheek, sent me up on all fours and I collapsed with my head on his lap curled up in a ball. He wasn’t done with the spanking yet and continued to give me sporadic hard slaps in between drinking our coffees and smoking. When I laid back across his lap, in quick succession, three hard slaps on my left cheek. By now, that side felt fine for the most part – stingy but nicely numbing. So, the three hard slaps were gentle squirms, pleasurable wiggles, cooing. But then three hard slaps befell my right cheek. The second one caused me to kick up my legs and hold out my arms above my head, arch my back and squeal out. He had to hold my legs down to land the third hit and I swear I’ve never moved away from him faster.

He wanted pictures and told me to bend over the couch. Bright purple lines had begun forming all over both cheeks, especially the left one. You could see where he had hit hardest. Then, out of nowhere, the hardest slap. So hard that I still have a hand print leftover the next day! He was so sad that he didn’t get a video of my reaction. I flew forward and clasped onto the couch, bent down and moaned and groaned and whined, laughed out loud at the sensation, kept trying to stand up but the pain kept me crouching, gripping the couch for dear life!

He giggled and watched me squirm and wiggle and admired his handiwork. He came up behind me and stroked the hair out of my face and helped me to stand. Sitting on the couch was very hard, especially since I could feel the fabric of the couch through the soft dress that I was wearing, the coarse fabric scraping the welts that were now forming.

The sex afterwords was out of this world! My pussy actually ached when he woke me this morning for another round. I was bent over the arm of the couch, tied up for a short period, spread wide open and scrunched up in a tiny ball. He was on top, I was on top. Hands were absolutely everywhere and we were both drenched in sweat.

And I got so much amazing oral sex – like, I’m talking learned-new-things-about-how-wonderful-pleasure-can-be-type amazing!!! He spent time licking and kissing and sucking on things and in places that are rarely ever touched and kept doing this lovely thing with his lip coming up under my clit that would have my toes fiercely pointed. It was intimate and sensual and we were both surprised at how long it took me to cum. Which happened the first time kneeling over top of his face, with his hands going absolutely wild all over me.

There were so many intensely wonderful things happening everywhere. The crazy amount of eye contact – which typically isn’t a huge thing for The Boyfriend and I – during the fisting or the blowjob. His frequent use of his thumbs to either rub my clit or penetrate with, which I had told him that I had recently been fantasizing about a lot. There was also a lot of opportunity for each of us to admire each other – to admire his amazing body or to admire my vocalizations – especially being that we recently got a new picture taker AND for the first time in a few years brought the laptop up to make a home movie ūüėČ

All-in-all, it was one of the greatest nights in our sexperiences, although like I said to him after the spanking, I’m sad that it will always be remembered directly along with the “crap we’re going through“. I’m sad that it’s a marred spanking. However, on the other hand, it’s greatness supersedes that sadness. It was almost everything you want in a sexperience. It was hours and hours and hours of some of best sex The Boyfriend and I have ever had. Not only was there great sex, but there was really great discussions had throughout.

At one point, there was just playful teasing while we browsed Amazon for sex toys – specifically restraints, because he’s apparently really into that right now (no complaints here ūüėČ ūüėČ ūüėČ ). Lots of questions about interests and limit-setting – neither of us is interested in enemas, hard limit! Another point, he gave me two options: go up to bed, get tied up and fucked, or go on cam and get fucked (which is inline with the “crap we’re going through“) and I immediately said “no” to option number two.

It always fascinates me how an emotionally-charged declination of consent can still result in amazing sex!

Because of the “crap we’re going through“, there were some incredibly awkward points of the sexperience. After the spanking and some of the beginning not-orgasm-focused oral and sex, he abruptly said, “I better never catch you with another man” – which stopped everything dead in its tracks and resulted in a good cuddling/comfort session. Or when I tried to explain, through very cryptic and broken sentences, that I absolutely hated that it took me breaking his heart to, nine years later, finally get an over-the-knee spanking or that I was worried that in some way he had felt obligated to spank me to be able to keep me – that he didn’t do it because he wanted to but because he felt like he had to. There were deep conversations mixed into all the sexiness going on and it made everything feel all that much more intense.

The worst part for both of us was when he came. We were trying really hard to cum together. He held off for so long and let me have two orgasms already. So, by the time he’s getting ready to cum and I’m on top and working on that third orgasm, it’s just not happening. He ends up cumming first at my encouragement. He’s decided he absolutely doesn’t like when this happens, because he ends up falling asleep without meaning to. He felt really bad afterwards that he had had to force himself to stay awake for my third and final orgasm of the night. I assured him that it hadn’t changed how I felt about the night.

We were open and vulnerable and wounded. It was beautiful and it hurt. It made me feel so much. And I desperately needed that!

I was expecting to feel more of the post-sex blues that I typically have the day after really mind-blowing sex between us. I was expecting to feel exhausted from the lack of sleep. I was expecting to be reeling mentally when I had time to think about all the things that happened last night. I was expecting to need some serious aftercare or for him to need it. But today, aside from aching thighs and a very tender, gently bruised backside, I feel really good. I feel full of love and optimistic and just really good. Waking up to another dose of sex and then spending the morning exchanging adoring glances with The Boyfriend has just really made everything feel blissful.

The List - For Everyone

#BucketListed: Publish My First Book

I’ve long talked about my desire to write a book. It’s something I’ve always wanted to do.

I even have books in the works. By in the works, I mean that they are sitting in folders – some of them only just started, some of them just outlined and some of them with thousands of unedited words.

However, I would in no way say that I’m anywhere near the point of publishing said first book yet. Not even close!

Being an author is a way of immortalizing yourself Рmore than almost any other medium. Words live for centuries!  You can still read the words of authors and philosophers written from thousands of years ago. I was always a big fan of journaling, to remember myself, to remember who I was. To immortalize and preserve myself for myself.

What began as journaling evolved into writing. It’s how I started blogging. I wasn’t doing it to reach out to readers or start conversations, I was just writing in my online journal. Then I began publishing erotica and can now, sorta, put myself into the writer category. Sorta.

In terms of what types of books I want to publish, it ranges and varies. Generally, I want to stick to sex-based subjects, because it’s what I think I know. And what I’m passionate about – which is ultimately what matters. From erotic novels to non-fiction sexual education-type books.

Does that mean that this should be #FucketListed?

To which, my answer is, no it shouldn’t be. Because it’s not a sexual want/desire/aspiration. It’s a very day-to-day mundane interaction – writing a book, that is. Publishing a book is not sexual, even if it’s content may be. And if I only wanted to publish erotica, then maybe. But again, that’s not all I can write!

More than anything though, I want to feel my book in my hands. I struggle with publishing an eBook alone because I want to feel the weight of my words. I want to hear my finger slide down the page and the spine crack! I want to turn the crisp pages and have that memorable smell waft towards my nose. I want to make it to the final page and experience the ending in the way only closing a book can allow. I want to set it down and feel completed.

The List - For Adults 18+

#FucketListed: Sex in Public

In TO DO: Sex in the Great Outdoors, I talked about all the outside spaces that I would love to have sex – like the forest or under the stars and in the rain or on the side of the road. I promised at the end of that post that I would later write a post about all the public spaces that I would to have sex, so now, I’m making good on my promise!

In a Dressing Room

We’ve all seen the porn. Girl takes boyfriend to lingerie store. Invites him in to help her try on her bra. Thong gets pulled to the side as he thrusts into her, both of them struggling not to get caught. Hot!

At a Club

I’ve written erotica about it. I regularly use it as masturbatory fodder. Dancing is honestly one of my favorite things. Drunk slutty dancing, being ogled and groped by strangers, the bass… Yup, definitely want this!

At the Strippers

Okay, so really, there’s a variety of different club-venues that I’d like to have sex at.

The previous one, “a club” would just be a regular normal vanilla nightclub. The strippers would be amazing. It would be especially amazing if we went on amateur night and I got brave enough to get up on stage. Then, the dancing turns us both on so much that we can’t help but run off to the bathroom or some booth somewhere!

At a Sex Club

The point is to get naked and have sex with people. Maybe just us in a room, maybe us being watched by a gang of people in a room or maybe having sex with other people or some type of variation of sex at a sex club.

At a Fetish Club

After the dungeon has been explored, after new sensations have been discovered, after we have gone up and come down, after it all – just me and him at a fetish club – people can watch, but I’d really love for it to be intimate and sensual.

In a Hotel

While the hotel room sex would be fun, and I suppose technically belongs on this list, I’m specifically talking about areas of the hotel that you aren’t typically supposed to be having sex. The elevator, the hallways, the stairwell, the hotel pool ūüėČ

During a Concert

A very common theme in my indoor fantasies is apparently music… At a rock show, a classical opera, an indie folk jam, even an epic music festival. If you’ve ever seen the scene from SLC Punk where Sandy tells Steve-O to fuck her like a man – that! (And if you haven’t seen SLC Punk, I strongly suggest you do!!)

At the Doctors/Hospital

There is a lot of time wasted while you’re waiting for a doctor. I don’t know if I could ever be brave enough to do full out sex in the doctors office or even in a hospital room (unless it was for some sexual study), but I could definitely manage some hand stuff!

At the Movie Theater

It’s a little clich√©, I know. But it’s literally the perfect public place to again, do some hand stuff. If you were to wait for the right amount of time, you could basically have an empty theater to go wild in!

Keep in mind that these are only indoor spaces. You can see outdoor spaces in this post. There’s probably more that I didn’t think of and if I remember any, I’ll add them as I remember.

So, tell me, where are some other places or ways that you could have sex in public spaces? Ever done any of the above or wanted to do any of the above? What do you think are some things to keep in mind when you’re having sex in public? Should you plan ahead or should it be spontaneous. Leave your thoughts about sex in public in the comments below!

The Rantings - For Adults 18+

What I Learnt From A Month of Orgasms

It’s always been #FucketListed for me to orgasm everyday for an entire month.

I mean, sure, I’d love to do it everyday for the rest of my life, but I was trying to be realistic. However, I never really thought I would do it but then I realized a couple days ago that I’m 3 weeks into orgasming everyday at least once a day and figured I should just hold out for 7 more days and then I can un-#FucketListed this!

Sometimes, I had an orgasm during sex and sometimes I had an orgasm from masturbation. Almost always I came from manual (hands/fingers) stimulation of my clit – except for the odd oral orgasm. Sometimes, The Boyfriend was there, actively participating or falling asleep and sometimes, he was at work and I was alone. Every single time was in my bed.

So, what I have learnt about myself, my body and my sexuality over this month-long sexperiment?

  1. The More I Masturbate, The Longer It Takes

    Week 1, I would spend typically 15 – 20 minutes to get to The Big O¬†– unless The Boyfriend was lying next to me sleeping, in which case, it would normally take longer. This last week (so Week 3/4), I haven’t had a single night take me less than 45 minutes

  2. My Mind Runs Wild

    When it comes to sex, The Boyfriend and I typically tend to do the same things over and over again. Not like we have gotten into some rut, but because we both know what we like and we like to do the things that we enjoy. So, we do them!

    But during this month of orgasming daily, my mind has been going wild with all sorts of interesting things. Some nights, I like to stick to fantasizing about what we actually do. But other nights, my mind dips into fantasies I didn’t even know that I had and I’m always surprised at how it keeps coming up with all new things.

    I’ve never had so many sexual fantasies on my brain all the time!

  3. Orgasms Feel Really Good

    After a long and stressful day of cooking and cleaning and dealing with the kids and a baby, nothing feels better than crawling into bed and reaching my hands down my pants. And even though getting to the orgasm can sometimes feel like an unbearable amount of work and I sweat more during the mission than at any other time, that release is the best feeling ever!

    When my muscles all contract and things pulse. I just feel so good. And sleep comes so quickly after working towards my goal for 45 minutes and then achieving it. So much peace!!

  4. Periods Suck!!!

    So, orgasming for 3 weeks… That shit was easy! Week 4 is going to be a challenge. And I never considered this prior to experiencing it, but I forgot entirely that every month, you bleed for a week! Probably because I was just pregnant and didn’t bleed for a long time, but man oh man.

    Orgasms feel incredibly good when you’re on your period. They ease a lot of the unpleasant symptoms of menses. However, there is nothing less arousing than having to push your pad out of the way and hope that you don’t get blood all over your fingers.

  5. One Is Almost Never Enough

    I’m absolutely a 2-orgasm kinda girl. That first orgasm just doesn’t do it for me. It’s like foreplay for me, it just turns me on more. The wetness from that first orgasm always makes where a second is necessary. Only when I was so exhausted that I couldn’t move anymore did I not go for a second.

    Sometimes, a second isn’t even good enough and I had a number of nights where there were upwards of five. The more I did it, the more I felt like I could do more. And when I didn’t go for more when I felt the urge to, I felt like it wasn’t as great of a night, wasn’t as successful, wasn’t as pleasurable. Rarely was the first orgasm good enough to just leave it at that.

I thought after having an orgasm everyday for a month that I would have some sort of cathartic experience where I knew my body and my soul better. I would be in touch with some sort of deeper me. But the reality is, the most prolific thing that I learnt during this sexperience, is that I really love orgasms!

I really love the act of working towards an orgasm. I love exploring the dirty thoughts in my mind and just giving myself over to the pleasure. I love the involuntary rocking and pulsing and throbbing and buildup and release. I love “the final paroxysm” and the way my body tightens and contracts in this amazing rhythm that feels like my own personal symphony. And I love that floaty head feeling, when all your limbs are limp and your heartbeat returns to normal and you can feel the heat of your flushed cheeks.

Could I go for longer than a month? I don’t think so. Could I go for a year? I definitely don’t think so. Would I learn something new if I went longer? Maybe… Orgasms take a lot out of you for how wonderful and amazing they are. It’s not only physically exhausting to be having one or more orgasms everyday, it’s also mentally exhausting. Does the experience make me want more orgasms? Yes, absolutely.