Incredibly Interesting

The Rantings - For Adults 18+

I’m probably wrong when I say this, but it feels like we have been having more sex than we’ve ever had, ever!

And it’s not just that it’s a lot of sex. It’s a lot of very interesting, out-of-the-box, incredibly hot sex. I don’t know if he feels like he’s pushing his own personal boundaries a lot, but he definitely is. I feel like I’ve never experienced him like this – and straight up, I’m not complaining for one second.

Yesterday, we both checked a fantasy off our list. It’s something we’ve often joked about doing when we’re watching porn. Or when we make home movies for our own personal use. And so a quick 11-second clip was uploaded to Pornhub. We spent all day obsessing. He was chalk full of ideas and has listed a ton more videos that he wants to do.

He’s decided he wants to do an “Off the Beaten Path” series. I’m jealous that he came up with the idea long before I did! I don’t think I’ve ever looked at him with such adoration.

He had asked me not to cum after we had taken that walk. He was also mean and sent me all sorts of sexy messages before I went to bed. I had been on a week-long masturbating streak. So, the denial felt more epic than anything. The next day, I kept having sudden very noticeable twinges and gushes of wetness, but I was finding it hard to be aroused. More annoyed than aroused.

http://valerieraynetumbles.tumblr.com/post/161469985111/when-theboyfriend-is-at-work-and-wont-let-me-cum

Waiting for “release” during the next day, while also watching our clip get views, and being in this continual state of flirting and sexual tension with The Boyfriend, was incredibly sexy and when it was finally time to get started, I was beyond ready.

He wanted to start with a spanking. He wanted to make videos. I got dressed up, he got dressed up. He insisted I looked “innocent” with my mini skirt, lace and pigtails. I insisted he looked “incredible” with his vest, jeans and forearms. While it was a short spanking, it was a good spanking. We had cameras at two different spots in the room and it was interesting to see the spanking from these varying perspectives. It’s always very interesting to me when we watch back through these videos and the parts that I really don’t like are usually his favorites. It’s awfully funny how perception works!

My legs got an epic workout last night and I discovered muscles I forgot I had. Bent over the couch, unintentionally on my tip toes, I got a cramp in the back of my calf. Kneeling beneath him, feet under my bum and legs spread, I felt my ankles tingle, signaling they were beginning to fall asleep. One leg on the floor, the other lifted up onto the couch, I felt the whole back of my thigh burn.

Needless to say, positions were switched up frequently.

He was also trying to get a variety of videos and pictures during the whole thing – which I’m absolutely loving that he’s getting into. I said yesterday on FetLife, and I’ve alluded to it in the past, that I love when he plays photographer and I get to play model. Unfortunately, I often feel too shy, in front of him,to be as good of a model as I know I can be – so a lot of the pictures get vetoed by me before he even gets to see them. However, it doesn’t take away from the fact that it is definitely a huge turn-on for me. Huge!

We ended up losing a bunch of videos that were made that night. Neither of us can figure out how it happened and are sure that they must be somewhere, but where that is exactly, not sure. I haven’t been able to keep focus long enough to have the patience to figure it out, so we ended up just going with what we have, and ended up uploading another Pornhub clip… (although let’s be real, we can just call this one a video…!).

After the video was uploaded, we went upstairs to have more sensual and intimate sex than we’ve been having. Or at least that was the plan. It started with me on top and it was full of kissing and hands and eye contact. It’s been a long while since we had sex in, what I think is called, reverse cowgirl – me on top facing his toes. This particular position is rarely used because I often don’t feel very confident in the view – it’s a very open position, especially being that I tend to lean more forward – which is great when I’m in the mood to be looked at, not so much when I’m not.

This proved to be a lot for both of us and the next thing I knew, I was being mounted and fucked from behind. He wanted me to be noisy so he could get a recording of it. I came rather quickly, my hand just barely rubbing my clit but his cock hitting just the right angle inside of me. The recording continued as he pounded into me while I muttered all sorts of dirty things to him about filling me up and giving me his cock. The sensation of him cumming caused me to shudder beneath him.

This morning, he woke me up to 420 views on our second video, The Smoky Blowjob. We had expected to get more than our first video, but not hundreds more. We’ve been checking into Pornhub all day to watch our views climb and see the comments on our videos. It’s been a great deal of fun.

Probably my most favorite thing though, is this exploration of fantasy that’s happening between us. The constant open communication about sexual things – like desires and limits. Being able to feel comfortable checking in with one another, “And how are you feeling about that?“, and not feeling shame in anyway. The sexual dialogue, which is what I’ve always wanted, is just being incredible right now. It’s making me feel all sorts of lovely things about him and us.

I’m definitely having fun during all of this, although it is kinda hard to feel connected to all of it. It’s interesting to me how the idea of “authentic sexuality” has re-appeared so much in my thoughts, after so long of not thinking of it. It’s interesting that the things that I keep saying most have a lot to do with being authentic and that that seems to be at the front of my mind. And in a way it feels like it’s not me and him experiencing these things – but like other people, people who aren’t us. It’s an interesting sensation and experience, one that has me largely in silence.

The Boyfriend keeps asking, “How are you doing?” and I keep not knowing how to respond, because I’m just kinda meh… I’m equating it to the post-sex blues and we’ll see how I feel after his first night back at work to see if it’s anything more. I’m definitely not looking forward to spending the night away from him and imagine it’ll be an early bedtime because I’ll decide I’m missing him too much.

We plan on getting more videos this weekend and are impatiently awaiting the arrival of our restraints and my Blog-A-Holic bra and underwear, because we have tons of ideas surrounding those things. Also interesting that clothing seems to be spawning fantasies for us… I feel like I’m learning a lot of about me, him, and us during all of this!

Truly Living – My FetLife Poem

The Writing - For Adults 18+

Today, I updated my FetLife profile because for the first time in over a year, The Boyfriend and I had pictures to add (post to come about that later tonight because I have stuff to do right now…)! So, I didn’t want to add them to a basically abandoned profile.

While I was updating, I came across this poem that I had written about a year ago and felt like I wanted to share it here – for all of the people who can’t see my FetLife profile.

His hand wrapped around my throat, and I felt safe.
His fingers pressed into me, my breath suspended.
He watched me closely, waiting for the signal.
I tapped out and he stroked my hair.
I gasped and felt truly alive.