#WTMFIWednesdays - Session #9 Cover Photo (1)

#WTMFIWednesdays: Session #9 – Before He Cheats


WTMFI (Way Too Much F***ing Information) Wednesdays

WTMFI (Way Too Much F***ing Information) Wednesdays

A weekly sex meme arousing discussions on sexuality


The Rules


  •   Write a post answering as many of the questions as you’d like
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  •   Tag your post #WTMFIWednesdays
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The Questions & My Answers


Question 1:
Have you ever been cheated on?

I only know for sure of one time that I’ve been cheated on, although I’ve suspected that 2 out of 3 of my boyfriends have cheated on me.

Surprisingly, even though I had long suspected that he had cheated on me with girls, the only time that I know about was him sleeping with another man. It came as no surprise since it had always been a curiousity of his and I didn’t find out about it until over a year after it happened, so I wasn’t really upset either.

Question 2:  
Have you ever cheated on a partner?

Unfortunately the answer to this question is yes.

For the first four-ish months of The Boyfriend and I’s relationship, I was still sleeping with the older kids’ Dad, Alfie. It wasn’t what I wanted to be doing (see my answer for the bonus question…) and I wasn’t doing it to try to hurt The Boyfriend or Alfie in anyway. At the time, I thought it was what was needed for people’s protections – mostly the kids.

It was an incredibly complicated situation that makes absolutely no sense to me almost a decade later and I’m just glad that we all made it through the way that we did, because stuff could’ve turned out very differently…

Question 3:
Have you ever faked an orgasm?

Yes. And not even for my partner’s benefit, but for my own. It’s not like a go-to thing either. I won’t just fake an orgasm for the sake of faking an orgasm. I’m perfectly happy most of the time to go without an orgasm and be completely honest with everyone (including myself) that I didn’t orgasm and that’s okay.

But sometimes, you’ve worked so hard, you’ve gone so long, you’ve put so much effort in!

Question 4:
Have you ever fallen in love with someone who didn’t love you back?

Not that I know of.

Question 5:
Have you ever had an STI?

No.

BONUS:
Have you ever had sex with someone when you didn’t want to?

Technically, yes. Although, it was not rape. And you’re like, “Wait… How’s that now?“, but you’d be wrong… I’ve had sex a lot when I didn’t really want to.

In some cases, it’s like the faked orgasm thing. Sometimes you force yourself to get over the hump of lack of sexual arousal because nothing else seems to work. When you’re deep in depression, deep in the fog, for example. When pain in your back or knees or legs is telling you not to do it, but you know it’s the only thing that’ll help (literally just experienced this last night!!!). When anxiety or responsibilities or life is making arousal impossible. Sometimes, you push through that!

The four months that I cheated on The Boyfriend, it wasn’t like I was enthusiastically still sleeping with the ex. Looking back on it now, I would describe it as something akin to “dutiful“. Almost as if the whole time I was thinking, “I must do this, for so and so’s benefit/protection/happiness” – although in no way was I ever saying “No“. Time and perspective and healing has given me that view of the situation.

So yes, I’ve had sex when I didn’t want to, under a whole variety of circumstances.


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