Days Off

The Rantings - For Adults 18+

Sunday, Monday and Tuesday cannot come fast enough!

The Boyfriend has three days off, finally! It feels like it’s been a really long time since he last had longer than two days off and when it’s two days, they go so fast that it’s just not enough. I’m hoping, crossing my fingers hard, that he’ll get a decent amount of sleep one of the nights to be awake enough to actually enjoy a day off together.

His last two days off, we only had sex once. Normally we try to have sex on both nights off to hold us over until his next nights off. But this time, the second night we were both way too exhausted. Our heads hit the pillow and we were asleep before we could even attempt to try for anything.

However, because my body hates me, my period decides to start yesterday. It’s unlikely that it’ll be done by his days off. I spent a good hour upset about it today while I was thinking about all the fun we could have on these days off. I’m getting over it though, because there’s still fun to be had. It’s just unlikely to be vaginal sex.

Honestly, I’m down for just some seriously good cuddling. I want to lie on his chest while he strokes my hair. I want to sleep with his arm wrapped around me. I want to lay on his lap while we’re watching TV. I just want him near me and touching me. I’m desperate to just feel him.

Sunday, Monday and Tuesday cannot come fast enough!

Weekend Full of Love

The Rantings - For Everyone

It was honestly such a great weekend with the kids – I mean, there were lots of headache inducing moments and I have been in a bit of a “funk” – the kids made the whole entire thing seem like just such a wonderful weekend. I don’t know what is going on lately, but I’m a very popular girl with them lately!

Kenzie’s an Emotional Bomb

Kenzie was an extreme emotional rollercoaster ride this weekend. We had one day, where I spent half the day yelling at him for getting everyone else in trouble and the other half of the day, he was snuggled up in my lap giving some of the best cuddles I’ve ever gotten! Today, we had an epic meltdown when Kaeidyn joked that the girl that Kenzie’s been hanging out with a lot lately was his girlfriend, which resulted in crying and yelling and storming off to his room to try and sleep, avoiding being anywhere near Kaeidyn.

When he was a bit younger, the extreme mood changes would normally signify that he desperately needed a nap. Now, a nap doesn’t seem to help nearly as much as removing him from the situation and cuddling the crap out of him. Out of all the kids, he is definitely the most emotional. And he has absolutely no problem showing it!

Kaeidyn’s Talkative

Kaeidyn has been incredibly talkative lately. I mean, she’s always talkative. She’s always been talkative. This weekend just seemed multiplied by a thousand. Every chance she had to talk, she talked. And then she talked some more. Honestly, I can’t even slightly remember any of the things that she talked about. I do know that multiple times I had to ask her to stop because my brain was literally turned to mush from the amount of stuff it was suddenly filled with.

We had a few days of drama over the school week, as her “boyfriend” was texting her some stuff that we weren’t too happy to see. Nothing all that crazy inappropriate, but they kept messaging each other back and forth asking when they were going to kiss. Then there was some talk about “what would we do if the parents weren’t around“, to which no real response was given.

When The Boyfriend read the messages, he responded back before I could even stop him, that he would have to meet Kaeidyn’s two Dad’s before getting a kiss. Kaeidyn often seems done with this “boyfriend” and seems to keep him around just so that she can say she has a boyfriend. So when he called and they finally got to talk and he kept pushing kissing her in secret, she decided to break up with him. It go a little weird after that, he said she hated Americans and said that she was leaving him for another guy (which Kaeidyn chalked up to him implying she was a slut) and went off about how he was going to flirt with one of his teachers to make her jealous. She was surprisingly unphased by it and we’ll see how it goes tomorrow after school.

Carter’s a Pain, But So Cute!

Carter has been a pretty big pain in the butt lately. Some of the things are cute pains in the butt and others are just incredibly annoying. He’s been having a lot of nightmares. He claims they are Five Nights of Freddy (a computer game that his favorite YouTuber, JackSepticEye, plays) dreams. He forces himself to stay awake much later than he should because he’s terrified to go to sleep. We’ve been trying lots of different things to try and get him to sleep. Last night, I took him up to bed and tucked him in and sat beside his bed. I told him to close his eyes and said tonight he had to dream that we all went to the beach.

I sat up there for a good twenty minutes describing us playing at the beach. I felt so full of joy and love as he laid there with his eyes closed and a huge grin on his face as I whispered, “Mommy would splash you and you would scream at me ‘It’s so cold!’, before splashing me back” and he whispered, “Okay” after every sentence. He only slept for an hour or two before coming downstairs and falling asleep on the couch next to me, but that didn’t harsh my happiness high.

He’s also been really terrible for picking on everyone else right now. He always wants everyone to be paying attention to him and talking to him and playing with him. He wants to be the center of attention. So he’s in everyone’s face. He’s also enjoying play fighting more and more and really gets a kick out of the fact that he’s so much stronger than everyone. He loves going up behind the other kids, bear hugging them and then half throwing them to the floor. Sometimes the other kids laugh and think it’s hilarious and will try to do it back to him and it’s a great fun time, other times, they whine and cry and get really upset. It probably doesn’t help that there’s a lot of blame placed on Carter from the other kids about everything!

Keirnan’s Quiet

Keirnan has basically been really quiet – which is absolutely no surprise. We’ve started his home reading program from school and he’s doing so amazingly. Unlike Kenzie, who is still struggling with reading, especially having any interest in it, Keirnan seems to really enjoy it. And he’s definitely not having many struggles at all. I expected that his speech impediment would’ve held him back more, but it seems to not even be having an effect. And I can’t even say he has a speech impediment anymore, being that his speech is pretty darn perfect. That kid has had the odds stacked against him since the day I went into premature labor and he has just done so amazing and hasn’t let any of it get in his way or stop him.

As I said previously, I’ve been in a bit of a “funk” lately. I think it’s mostly PMS, although I’ve spent a lot of time searching for some other explanation, rather unsuccessfully. I’m getting bogged down by cleaning again, and even though we’re doing way better than we’ve ever done before on any of it, I just feel overwhelmed by it. I didn’t notice it until I went to clean my fridge yesterday and the weight of the to-do list just kinda buckled down on me.

Finances Suck Right Now…

 

Then, our finances right now are absolutely abysmal. Since The Boyfriend went back to graveyards, we’ve had it pretty comfortable. We have periods every month where it seems like it’s going to be tight, but for the most part, we’ve managed really well. Then, this back-to-school season crept up on us way faster than we were expecting, and the tightness seems almost suffocating. The one wonderful thing that helps a lot is that The Boyfriend and I have always had an agreement that when it gets like this, he takes over and I get kept in the dark about every financial move until it’s over.

It sounds like a stupid plan, but I tend to get even stupider about money the moment it starts going bad. And instead of dealing with the problems, I let the stress consume me until I literally can’t breathe. I cause myself epic panic attacks, that often aren’t even necessary, because the solutions are often incredibly simple. The Boyfriend is able to keep  his head on straight when looking at those problems and can communicate his needs better in those moments. It’s a system that we’ve discovered works for us and I’m sure there are some areas where he gets left in the dark while I deal with it (although, off the top of my head, I can’t think of a single one…).

Tomorrow, he starts his days off, which we’re incredibly excited about. It was his long stretch of days, so the break is desperately needed. We’ve got lots of cleaning-related plans for the next two days, because I really want to get the floors mopped. They are in dire need of it and are totally due for it, and I’ve had it on the to-do list for way too long! That’s priority one. I’m also hoping we’ll get our bookshelf tidied up again, because even though it’s not messy, my books don’t look organized and pretty and that makes everything feel messy.

So, I had a good weekend. How was yours?