In February, I tweeted:
Well, this is just sad… Paragraph detailing how hard women have to work to orgasm more made me "ugh". Wear more lingerie… https://t.co/DU7aZb7DXv
— Valerie Rayne (@ValerieRayne13) February 22, 2017
The “wear more lingerie” line stuck out to me, because 2 years ago, The Boyfriend and I were going through a lull – as we do from time to time. In Awkward Conversations, “he praddled off his ideas of how we could fix this problem – including me buying lingerie, me being more forceful, me kicking him off of games earlier, me wearing a bra (so he has something to take off, not that he takes off any of the clothes I currently wear…), me doing this and me doing that and me working my ass off to make him attracted to me.“.
And every time I read studies like this, I am just always shocked how the sexual health of a relationship is always put on the woman’s shoulders. Okay, and obviously not always, but more often than not!
I am a woman who doesn’t wear underwear. If you didn’t know that about me, now you do!
I grew up with very small breasts. Basically, I had nipples. I would wear bras, but the smallest sizes were still too big for me. I still wore them though because I had been absolutely convinced that if I didn’t, even my tiny breasts would sag. I had Kaeidyn and began wearing bras because I had jumped from under an A cup to a C cup and attempted to breastfeed and then stopped abruptly and the whole entirety of my social circle yelled at me that without a bra, my breasts would sag and look terrible.
Then, I had Kenzie. With Kaeidyn, I didn’t get to breastfeed even though I had desperately wanted it. I tried for a few days but my milk had become infected. Kenzie took to the breast with ease and I was able to go for a couple months with him. But then, he stopped getting anything nutritional from me and would spend hours sucking away and getting nothing. He was constantly starving and my chapped nipples couldn’t keep up. Two days into this and I became incredibly engorged.
The bra came off and never went back on!
Underwear is a sporadic thing for me. I always have a couple pairs on hand for period week and if I get a yeast infection or am wearing jeans, I won’t go without them. But, for the most part, I’m always without my underwear. I basically moved out of my Mom’s house and it became a thing to do every once and awhile and now, probably because of laziness more than anything, I hardly ever wear underwear.
And why can’t that be just as sexy as the girl who chooses to wear lace and crotchless panties?
I ranted on Facebook around the same time as the awkward conversation two years ago, “You know what’s annoying about lingerie…?
They do not show it on bodies of Mom’s, who have curves in all the “wrong” places – so everything that even hints at the showing off a baby belly immediately feels like it’s just “not for you”.
Then, they show these beautiful pristine models in these awkward poses that no way in hell the average woman is going to do – hell, even know to do.
And seriously, why do we all have to be barbie dolls for our men?!? He can wear boxers that cost him $5, I have to wear lingerie that costs me $50 and isn’t even flattering to who I am as a person….”
I freaking love lingerie. I look at it all the time. I imagine myself wearing it regularly. I hope to one day make some of my own! I don’t, by any means, hate lingerie. But sometimes, I seriously hate that I’m SUPPOSED to love it. And that I’m SUPPOSED to wear it to keep my man interested in me!!!