#WTMFIWednesdays: Session #10 – Having Sex


WTMFI (Way Too Much F***ing Information) Wednesdays

WTMFI (Way Too Much F***ing Information) Wednesdays

A weekly sex meme arousing discussions on sexuality


The Rules


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The Questions & My Answers


Question 1:
Could you write about your sexperiences? Would you?

I could definitely write about my sexperiences and I do!

I’ve technically been writing about my sexual experiences since I was 11-years-old and got my first journal. I wrote about my first fingering experience when I was 14. I wrote about sex with Alfie the first time at 16. And so, when I started regularly blogging, it just naturally evolved to writing about my sexperiences.

It brings me a lot of joy to write about them, especially when years later I can look back over those posts and remember that evolution of my sexuality. Only a small part of it has anything to do with enjoying other people reading them and enjoying them 😉

Question 2:
Should you always pee after sex?

I generally tend to think yes. I always pee after sex, because I have to. I tend to think it’s more important for girls than it is for guys, just because there’s stuff going in us more actively than in them. The Boyfriend rarely ever pees after sex. So, to each their own.

Question 3:
Would you ever have sex in front of people? Under what circumstances?

It is an absolutely huge fantasy of mine to have sex in front of people.

In one sense, my Pornhub videos are me having sex in front of people. But I would love to have sex in front of a real, live audience. Whether that be an intimate group of 4 or 5 people who I know and love or in front of a thousand strangers – I’ve fantasized frequently about them both!

I think that I would absolutely love to do this, under almost any circumstance!

Question 4:
Should you always use a condom when having sex?

I think that should be up to the partners involved.

I personally rarely ever use a condom. I don’t often use safe sex methods at all. However, I’m in a monogamous relationship and we aren’t trying to prevent pregnancy.

I would use condoms, if I were sleeping with multiple partners or if I was preventing pregnancy. I have used condoms in the past. Just don’t need to right now.

Question 5:
Could you ever see yourself as a sex worker?

Absolutely. By uploading videos to Pornhub and previously being on cam, one could argue that I am a sex worker – although I definitely wouldn’t put myself in that category. I’m more of a hobbyist.

I’ve long thought that the ideal career for me was in sex work.

BONUS:
What would you do if you didn’t enjoy the oral sex your partner was giving you?

It would honestly depend on the type of mood I was in.

If I was feeling kinda powerful or in control (which I normally do if I’m getting oral sex), then I would most likely either verbally or physically direct the person to where I want them to go. I’m not often very shy in saying, “Oh, that doesn’t feel right. Let’s try this instead.“.

There are rare nights where I will be feeling more shy or timid (which normally only happens if he suggests the oral), then I might subtly move myself into a position that feels a little better – lifting my hips or scooching to the left a little.

A lot of times, if I’m not enjoying oral (which almost never happens!), then it’s because of me and my head. A lot of focus and concentration often get me out of this spot. Focusing in on what the sensations actually feel like rather than what I think they feel like. Concentrating on the particular movement of his tongue or his hands on my hips. Often holding hands is a great way to get me past my mind.


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#WTMFIWednesdays: Session #9 – Before He Cheats


WTMFI (Way Too Much F***ing Information) Wednesdays

WTMFI (Way Too Much F***ing Information) Wednesdays

A weekly sex meme arousing discussions on sexuality


The Rules


  •   Write a post answering as many of the questions as you’d like
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The Questions & My Answers


Question 1:
Have you ever been cheated on?

I only know for sure of one time that I’ve been cheated on, although I’ve suspected that 2 out of 3 of my boyfriends have cheated on me.

Surprisingly, even though I had long suspected that he had cheated on me with girls, the only time that I know about was him sleeping with another man. It came as no surprise since it had always been a curiousity of his and I didn’t find out about it until over a year after it happened, so I wasn’t really upset either.

Question 2:  
Have you ever cheated on a partner?

Unfortunately the answer to this question is yes.

For the first four-ish months of The Boyfriend and I’s relationship, I was still sleeping with the older kids’ Dad, Alfie. It wasn’t what I wanted to be doing (see my answer for the bonus question…) and I wasn’t doing it to try to hurt The Boyfriend or Alfie in anyway. At the time, I thought it was what was needed for people’s protections – mostly the kids.

It was an incredibly complicated situation that makes absolutely no sense to me almost a decade later and I’m just glad that we all made it through the way that we did, because stuff could’ve turned out very differently…

Question 3:
Have you ever faked an orgasm?

Yes. And not even for my partner’s benefit, but for my own. It’s not like a go-to thing either. I won’t just fake an orgasm for the sake of faking an orgasm. I’m perfectly happy most of the time to go without an orgasm and be completely honest with everyone (including myself) that I didn’t orgasm and that’s okay.

But sometimes, you’ve worked so hard, you’ve gone so long, you’ve put so much effort in!

Question 4:
Have you ever fallen in love with someone who didn’t love you back?

Not that I know of.

Question 5:
Have you ever had an STI?

No.

BONUS:
Have you ever had sex with someone when you didn’t want to?

Technically, yes. Although, it was not rape. And you’re like, “Wait… How’s that now?“, but you’d be wrong… I’ve had sex a lot when I didn’t really want to.

In some cases, it’s like the faked orgasm thing. Sometimes you force yourself to get over the hump of lack of sexual arousal because nothing else seems to work. When you’re deep in depression, deep in the fog, for example. When pain in your back or knees or legs is telling you not to do it, but you know it’s the only thing that’ll help (literally just experienced this last night!!!). When anxiety or responsibilities or life is making arousal impossible. Sometimes, you push through that!

The four months that I cheated on The Boyfriend, it wasn’t like I was enthusiastically still sleeping with the ex. Looking back on it now, I would describe it as something akin to “dutiful“. Almost as if the whole time I was thinking, “I must do this, for so and so’s benefit/protection/happiness” – although in no way was I ever saying “No“. Time and perspective and healing has given me that view of the situation.

So yes, I’ve had sex when I didn’t want to, under a whole variety of circumstances.


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#WTMFIWednesdays: Session #8 – #RelationshipGoals


WTMFI (Way Too Much F***ing Information) Wednesdays

WTMFI (Way Too Much F***ing Information) Wednesdays

A weekly sex meme arousing discussions on sexuality


The Rules


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The Questions & My Answers


Question 1:
#RelationshipGoals: What TV show would you and your partner be on?

In a way, I’ve always related our relationship to Luke and Lorelei from Gilmore Girls – although only really parts of it. He even sometimes looks like Luke…

We knew each other for a long time before we started dating, although always from a distance. After Alfie and I finally broke up, him and I started spending a lot of time together. One day, we’re sitting on the couch and somebody punched somebody, our hands locked and we’ve been holding hands ever since.

I’ve never really thought about all the ways in which we are similar or our relationship is similar to Luke and Lorelei, but if we were on any TV show, that would be the one that we’d want. During our relationship, we’ve probably watched the whole show from beginning to end about 7 times!

Question 2:
#RelationshipGoals: Which literary couple would you most like your relationship to be like?

I have simply not read enough to be able to answer this question accurately!

Question 3:
#RelationshipGoals: Which movie couple would you most like to have a relationship like?

I don’t ever think I’ve seen a movie where I was like, “That’s a great relationship!“. Maybe it’s the type of movies I watch or something, but they are always normally pretty dysfunctional or have these wicked highs and lows.

The Boyfriend and I aren’t like that. It’s just this comfortable, relaxed and very mellow relationship – outside of all the kid-related stress. When it’s just the two of us, it would make for a boring movie!!!

Question 4:
#RelationshipGoals: What song would be the theme song for your relationship?

Over the years of our relationship, I have picked many different songs as theme songs for our relationship. For awhile, I looked at Bound to You by Christina Aguilera as being the song to describe our relationship and was a little obsessed because of it. ASAP Science on YouTube once did a video called “The Science Love Song“, which I insisted was written about us because we are both kinda science nerds.

Generally, I think every good love song was written about us 😉

Question 5:
#RelationshipGoals: Do you want your relationship to have any rituals or traditions?

When I think of rituals and traditions, I immediately start thinking of kinky rituals that I would like us to add to our relationship. Greeting at the door, eye-contact or speech restrictions, etc.

I guess we do have some rituals. We always fall asleep the same way, him spooning me and always with an “I love you” before we pass out wrapped up in each other. He gives me at least three quick kisses before he leaves the house anywhere and gets quite upset if I pull away before that.

BONUS:
#RelationshipGoals: What do you hope the future of your relationship is like?

The biggest thing I’m looking forward to in the future of my relationship with The Boyfriend is growing old together. Finally having all the kids out of the house and finally just being able to spend our time enjoying each other. Our whole relationship has been nothing but taking care of and worrying about kids.

I always hope that one day he’ll propose to me, even though I have no intention of getting married. But I’ve always really wanted someone to publicly proclaim their love for me, some big romantic gesture. I don’t think it will ever happen, since neither of us really care about marriage. But it’s one of those things that I just can’t completely eradicate from my mind.

I hope our future continues to be a lot like our present.


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#WTMFIWednesdays: Session #7 – Feet or Hands?


WTMFI (Way Too Much F***ing Information) Wednesdays

WTMFI (Way Too Much F***ing Information) Wednesdays

A weekly sex meme arousing discussions on sexuality


The Rules


  •   Write a post answering as many of the questions as you’d like
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  •   Tag your post #WTMFIWednesdays
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The Questions & My Answers


Question 1:
Would you rather kiss a foot or kiss a hand?

I would rather kiss a foot. I am not a huge fan of the idea of my lips against feet or anyone’s lips against mine!

Question 2:
Would you rather look at pictures of hands or feet?

Feet. I’m a big fan of footography. I especially like looking at my own.

Question 3:
Would you rather shoes or gloves?

I think I would rather shoes. If I’m going to go window shopping online for anything, it’d be shoes. And it ties into the footography thing.

Question 4:
Would you rather lick the sole of a foot or suck on a toe?

Lick the sole of a foot. Toes are kinda weird to me. They look weird, they feel weird. Just not really my bag. So, definitely lick the sole of a foot.

Question 5:
Would you rather have a foot fetish or a hand fetish?

I would say that I have more of a foot fetish than a hand fetish – although I technically have neither. I’m just more attracted to the foot than the hand. But a hand fetish would be very interesting!

BONUS:
Would you rather being slapped or stepped on?

Definitely would rather being slapped. I enjoy being slapped quite a bit. It makes an invigorating sound. It’s stingy and thuddy. Getting stepped on would be more compression-y, and I’m less into that.


View Session #7 of WTMFI Wednesdays


#WTMFIWednesdays: Session #6 – Pornography


WTMFI (Way Too Much F***ing Information) Wednesdays

WTMFI (Way Too Much F***ing Information) Wednesdays

A weekly sex meme arousing discussions on sexuality


The Rules


  •   Write a post answering as many of the questions as you’d like
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  •   Tag your post #WTMFIWednesdays
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The Questions & My Answers


Question 1:
Who are your favorite porn performers?

I don’t really have favorite porn performers. Honestly, I don’t think I watch enough porn to be able to accurately choose a favorite. My tastes in porn also fluctuate frequently, therefore so do my preferences for appearance, performance, ability, etc. My favorite porn performers, at any given time, always look like they enjoy being there. Even if they’re crying or screaming out in pain, they still look like they are enjoying it.

I’d be lying if I didn’t say that one of my favorite porn performers is myself. While I’m highly critical of myself (which is why I only have 6 videos posted out of my home library on Pornhub, even though I have at least a dozen more), when I think I’m hot, I think I’m really hot! I enjoy watching myself enjoying myself!

Question 2:
What is your favorite type of porn?

My favorite type of porn changes constantly. Sometimes, I can’t get enough of lesbian porn and then sometimes I don’t want to watch it at all. I’ll go through periods of only wanting to watch hetero-couples where the girl must be a brunette. At times, I really enjoy watching porn that absolutely pushes my limits and makes me cringe and shudder in disbelief.

Ultimately, my favorite porn is intriguing porn. It doesn’t just stimulate my genitals, it stimulates my mind. I don’t care too much about storyline or plot, quality of production isn’t as important to me. But if it makes me go “Hmm” at any point, I’m likely to enjoy it a lot more.

Question 3:
Where do you typically consume your porn? Describe the setting.

I almost always watch porn in my living room. I have a big couch that I like to stretch out on. I usually use my Xbox One to connect to Pornhub – although we’ll sometimes venture elsewhere. We’re just really most comfortable with it. Then, I lounge and watch porn with the volume relatively low on my 42″.

Question 4:
When do you typically watch porn?

I don’t get to watch porn nearly as often as I would like to. In a perfect world, I’d watch it daily. But the reality is, I rarely ever feel like watching porn. It happens every couple of months, I’ll normally go on a bit of a two week binge, and then don’t look at it or think about it again.

In terms of time of day, I almost always watch porn at night.

Question 5:
Why do you like the porn you like?

My favorite types of porn always make me think about my own sexuality. Make me question things like, “Am I into that?“, “Could I do that?“, “I wonder what that would feel like?“. It’s more immersive than just getting aroused. I can get aroused all on my lonesome, the porn has to add something to it.

BONUS:
How do you typically consume your porn? Describe the experience.

A typical night of porn consumption:

The Boyfriend and I cuddle up on the couch and scroll through Tumblr as he’s finishing up playing games. I point out all the things I like and think are interesting as he shoots bad guys. Then, Pornhub gets turned on.

This is generally a long boring part of the night. We try to only pick videos that are longer than 20 minutes, unless something really catches our eye. It takes us a long time to pick even one video and we spend most of this time just scrolling through the pages talking about the various titles and video thumbnails. Sometimes, we’re teasing each other throughout, but sometimes we’re just scrolling.

The porn usually gets left on while we’re having sex, although it’s almost always completely ignored.


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#WTMFIWednesdays: Session #5 – Speaking of Sex


WTMFI (Way Too Much F***ing Information) Wednesdays

WTMFI (Way Too Much F***ing Information) Wednesdays

A weekly sex meme arousing discussions on sexuality


The Rules


  •   Write a post answering as many of the questions as you’d like
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The Questions & My Answers


Question 1:
Should we teach children about sexuality? When? How?

I’m a pretty big believer in teaching everyone about sexuality. When it comes to kids, it’s a tricky situation and ultimately every kid is going to be taught differently, but that doesn’t mean that it shouldn’t be done.

I can only really speak about teaching my own kids about sexuality, because I’ve never really taught anyone else. But I was always determined to be honest with my kids about everything. Obviously I’ve learned that that’s not always possible and the truth is very subjective, but when it came to their bodies…

Penises were always called penises. If I was on my period and they came into the bathroom and had questions, they were told exactly what was happening. When they overheard The Boyfriend and I having sex, it was talked about openly and honestly. And now, as I’m dealing with a very curious 13-year-old, masturbation and fetishes are talked about almost daily (and when these conversations are going down, none of the younger children are shielded from them).

Kids kinda all start to show interest in their bodies and other people’s bodies at different points. I have one kid who was endlessly curious about sex from the time she was young and I have another who still “eewwss” at the mention or sight of nipples. So, you give them as much as they are seeking. When she was 5-years-old and came home from Kindergarten talking about rape, there were certain things she needed to know – so the basic “What is rape?” conversation was had. Now that she’s in middle school, the rape conversation is WAY different. Not only are there different points in their interest levels, there are different points in their understanding and comprehension levels.

So, in terms of my own personal experience with educating kids about sexuality, you tailor it individually for your kids interest and comfort levels. But, you still talk about. I’m also a big supporter of sex education for the school curriculum. I thoroughly enjoyed sex ed as a kid, and all my kids have come out of it and any questions they still had, they felt comfortable enough to come ask me.

I think just treating sex and sexuality like a normal natural part of our existence and experience is the best way to teach kids about sex.

Question 2:
Would you feel comfortable talking to a doctor about your sexuality?

I’ve had 5 kids… What do you think?!?

Part of the reason I have the views I have about sex education and children is because I strongly believe that doctors can do they’re job best when patients are educated. There’s a huge difference between my labia or some part of my vulva hurts and my vagina hurts. Even if you’re thinking about, horrifically, a court of law looking at a child making rape accusations and testifying in court and because they don’t have the language to accurately describe what’s happened… ugh just thinking about it.

I believe in absolute transparency with my doctor especially. That person is my healer and isn’t here to judge me. And even if he does… that doesn’t make much of a difference to me. He needs to know everything so that he can do his job to the best of his ability. So yeah, I feel comfortable talking to my doctor about sexuality.

Question 3:
Could you talk to your parents about sex?

Yes. I can talk to anyone about sex!!!

Sometimes, I wish my parents felt a little less comfortable talking to me about sex – talk about way too much f**ing information…

Question 4:
Would you attend a sexuality conference?

I would love to attend a lot of sexuality conferences. I’ve never had the opportunity to do so, but you can bet that if I ever get the opportunity, I’ll be there! In a heartbeat!

Question 5:
Should sex be talked about on the daily?

Why shouldn’t it be?!? I have a passion for sexuality. Why shouldn’t I be allowed to talk about my passion on the daily. It’s also, again, a supernatural part of existence. So yeah, why shouldn’t it be?!?

BONUS:
If you could talk to anyone about sex, who would you want to talk to?

This list is so incredibly extensive. I have so many idols in the sex-world, from sex educators to researchers to authors and bloggers, there are literally so many people. Probably the top of my list, the number one person I would love to talk about sex with, would be Alfred Kinsey. I find him to be a great inspiration and just think him and I could have some really great conversations.

Again, there are so many people I would add to this list. It’s kinda hard to think where to start. I think I’ll give this one some thought and write a post about it later. But I can think of so many!!!


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#WTMFIWednesdays: Session #4 – Lick or Spit?


WTMFI (Way Too Much F***ing Information) Wednesdays

WTMFI (Way Too Much F***ing Information) Wednesdays

A weekly sex meme arousing discussions on sexuality


The Rules


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The Questions & My Answers


#Q1: Would you rather... give or receive oral sex?
#Q1: Would you rather… give or receive oral sex?

#A1:

I would definitely rather give oral sex. Don’t get me wrong, I love receiving oral sex. But I’ve always considered myself a bit of an artiste when it comes to blowjobs (and I imagine cunnilingus too, just have no proof for that particular experience) and derive a lot of serious pleasure from the act of giving oral sex. I’ve written plenty about it and I even have the quotes to prove it 😉

Session #4 - #Q2: Would you rather... lick up spit or cum? - #WTMFIWednesdays
#Q2: Would you rather… lick up spit or cum?

#A2:

Definitely cum.

I’ve never really been all that into spit. I get really grossed out when watching porn when they do the whole spitting on cock or vag – even if it’s for the functional purpose of lube. I use spit as lube, but I’m not about to literally let my spit dribble out of my mouth for the purpose. I’m not a fan of ball gags solely because of the idea of drool. Just not a big fan of spit.

But cum, that’s a whole other game. I like just about everything about cum. And while I’m not a fan of the taste of cum after it’s had a chance to cool (which happens really fast…), I’d be much more comfortable with that.

Had a cute moment when Kaeidyn saw these questions:

Session #4 - #Q3: Would you rather... spit out cum or swallow cum? - #WTMFIWednesdays
#Q3: Would you rather… spit out cum or swallow cum?

#A3:

Absolutely swallow cum.

From a very young age, even before I actually started giving blowjobs, I have always thought that if you get it in your mouth, you might as well swallow it. Also, refer to question 2 – the longer cum sits, the quicker it gets cold and cold cum is not good cum. And another thing, I’d have to like regurgitate cum from my throat to be able to spit it out, it’s normally so far back there that there is no point in spitting it out. Plus, it’s good for me, so why would I spit it out?!?

Session #4 - #Q4: Would you rather... vagina-to-anus sex or anus-to-vagina sex? - #WTMFIWednesdays
#Q4: Would you rather… vagina-to-anus sex or anus-to-vagina sex?

#A4:

I would rather no anal sex.

But, purely for health/hygiene reasons, vagina-to-anus.

Session #4 - #Q5: Would you rather... squirting or non-squirting orgasms? - #WTMFIWednesdays
#Q5: Would you rather… squirting or non-squirting orgasms?

#A5:

First things first, I’m happy with any kind of orgasm. However, it has always been on my list to have a squirting orgasm. Never had one before, but I don’t know if I’d want it to be an every time thing either. Squirting for special occasions or certain types of sex or something.

Session #4 - #BONUS: Would you rather... be caught masturbating or giving oral sex? - #WTMFIWednesdays
#BONUS: Would you rather… be caught masturbating or giving oral sex?

#BONUS:

I think I would rather be caught masturbating. I’ve actually been thinking about this question for a few days, trying to picture it in my head. And I keep thinking, probably masturbating. I can’t exactly pinpoint why I’d rather be caught masturbating than giving oral sex, but probably mostly because then I’d only have to worry about my own embarrassment and not my partners. It also feels less intimate to me and it’s easier to play off like you weren’t doing anything.

It’s funny though, because if you had asked if I’d rather be watched masturbating or giving oral sex, where like all parties were consenting to this experience, I’d have picked giving oral sex over masturbating any day!!!


View Session #4 of WTMFI Wednesdays


#WTMFIWednesdays: Session #3 – Masturbation


WTMFI (Way Too Much F***ing Information) Wednesdays

WTMFI (Way Too Much F***ing Information) Wednesdays

A weekly sex meme arousing discussions on sexuality


The Rules


  •   Write a post answering as many of the questions as you’d like
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  •   Tag your post #WTMFIWednesdays
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The Questions & My Answers


Question 1:
What was your first time masturbating like?

I don’t know if I remember my very first time. I remember two of the very first times, but I can’t be sure that they were the very first – just the first ones that I remember.

One time was with my favorite stuffed toy, that became just about my most favorite pervertible ever. It had a nice hard nose that felt so good to grind against. The next time, I was supposed to be laying down for a nap, but couldn’t sleep, so grinded against my fingers and the mattress.

Question 2:
When and how often do you typically masturbate?

I go through phases. Sometimes, I’m masturbating constantly – multiple times a day for days on end. Other times, I can go weeks without even thinking about it. 

Generally, I get bitchy if I don’t orgasm every three days, so I am to either have sex or masturbate that often.

Question 3:
Who, if anyone, do you typically fantasize about when you masturbate?

Almost always, I fantasize about The Boyfriend. 

When I fantasize about other people, which normally only happens in the context of threesomes or group sex with The Boyfriend, other guys typically are faceless versions of The Boyfriend. He really does have my favorite type of body to fantasize about! If there’s a girl there, which sometimes happens, she’s basically a faceless version of me. 

I almost never see faces when I’m fantasizing. Lips up-close, sometimes. But never a full-out face.

Question 4:
Where do you typically masturbate? Describe the setting.

So, there’s basically three spots that I like to masturbate in. 

The first, and probably most used, is the bathtub. I can lock the door and that’s probably the biggest reason I like it. Our bathroom right now is pretty small and the bathtub is pretty small and you can almost never get a full bath of hot water, but again, it locks.

The next is my bedroom. It’s a really boring bedroom. I’m not one for decorating, so there’s literally a mattress on the floor. But I have just about the best comforter in the world and it’s a comfy place to do pretty much anything sexual.

Finally, on the couch, in front of the computer. It doesn’t happen often here, but if I’m having one of those super horny streaks, the couch in the living room gets used a lot more than I’d like to admit!

Question 5:
How do you typically masturbate?

I’ve been masturbating the same way for a really long time now. It’s what works best for me. It’s always right hand, three fingers (pointer, middle and ring), firmly on my clit with periodic dips into my vag for lubrication. Sometimes, especially if I’m having a hard time getting there, I’ll use my left hand to pull everything taut or push/pull things to the perfect spot. 

BONUS:
Are there any reasons, other than arousal, that you masturbate?

Definitely, although I think it normally always turns into arousal. It can be started to relieve stress or headaches, if I’m feeling incredibly bored and lonely or if I’m just having a hard time feeling sexy in my skin. Sometimes, if I’m having bad insomnia, I’ll use it as a way to put myself to sleep – although that normally results in having to go 3 or 4 times, which works, but is exhausting!!!


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#WTMFIWednesdays - Session #2 Cover Photo

#WTMFIWednesdays: Session #2 – I Touch Myself


WTMFI (Way Too Much F***ing Information) Wednesdays

WTMFI (Way Too Much F***ing Information) Wednesdays

A weekly sex meme arousing discussions on sexuality


The Rules


  •   Write a post answering as many of the questions as you’d like
  •   Add one of the WTMFI Wednesdays Badges
  •   Tag your post #WTMFIWednesdays
  •   Link up with us by adding your link to the original post
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The Questions & My Answers


Question 1:
Have you ever masturbated in front of someone else?

Regularly! 

A lot of times after the actual sexual intercourse and after The Boyfriend’s orgasm, I like to masturbate to have normally my second orgasm – to just kind of close out the night.

Question 2:
Have you ever masturbated in a room full of people?

No, but it is absolutely a fantasy and on my list of things to do. As a bit of an exhibitionist, I’ve always wanted to do all sorts of sexual things surrounded by people – watching and enjoying me doing what I do 😉

Question 3:
Have you ever masturbated at work?

I never have, but probably mostly because I haven’t worked in a really really long time.

Would I do this? Probably. 

Question 4:
Have you ever masturbated using an object that wasn’t intended for that purpose?

Absolutely!

For a long time, I didn’t have access to sex toys – especially as an exploring teenager. So, stuffed puppy dogs were a favorite for a long time. Hairbrush handles were a short-lived obsession. I went through a phase where I would only use pervertibles because I didn’t think my pleasure should cost me anything or involve me going out of my way or above and beyond.

Question 5:
Have you ever masturbated enough to cause yourself injury, no matter how small?

Yes… Unfortunately, I have done this a few times. Normally, really small “injuries”. Nicks from a nail, almost like chaffing from going for too long and too hard, a soreness feeling near my perineum from tugging too much on the area I had stitches. Luckily, nothing serious!

BONUS:
Have you ever masturbated to porn that didn’t turn you on?

No, I’m pretty picky about porn. And I will turn it off the second there is something that I don’t like or that doesn’t turn me on or that doesn’t intrigue me in some way. 


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#WTMFIWednesdays - Session #1 Cover Photo

#WTMFIWednesdays: Session #1 – The First Time


WTMFI (Way Too Much F***ing Information) Wednesdays

WTMFI (Way Too Much F***ing Information) Wednesdays

A weekly sex meme arousing discussions on sexuality


The Rules


  •   Write a post answering as many of the questions as you’d like
  •   Add one of the WTMFI Wednesdays Badges
  •   Tag your post #WTMFIWednesdays
  •   Link up with us by adding your link to the original post
  •   Share your posts using our hashtag #WTMFIWednesdays

The Questions & My Answers


Question 1:
What was your first time kissing like?

My first time kissing happened on New Years’ back in 2000 into 2001. It was with my very first boyfriend. We had been dating for quite awhile by this point and my Mom, in her New Years’ Eve drunkenness, insisted that I had to kiss him that night. I was glad she did, because honestly, I was super scared to have my first kiss. It felt like a really serious move to me.

I remember thinking at the time that it was the best thing I had ever experienced. Even though our little trailer was filled with about thirty people and music was blaring and dogs were barking and everyone except us was drunk, the whole world just kinda stood still for us to have a great intimate moment. I don’t think we ever had another kiss like that with each other.

Question 2:
Did you orgasm the first time you masturbated?

The first time that I can remember masturbating, I had discovered the hard nose of one of my stuffed toy dogs. It was not the type of orgasm I know now, it was more of a quick shudder. I remember becoming absolutely obsessed with that dog until the day that I discovered that water coming from the tap in the bathtub…

Question 3:
What was it like giving oral sex the first time?

So, again with the same first boyfriend mentioned above. We used to go to his Dad’s house about once a month for a big dinner. It was usually food that I hated, but we got to spend quite a lot of time alone there. I remember that the movie Black Sheep was playing in the background. He kept insisting I needed to watch this movie, but we were both far too distracted. I still couldn’t tell you what that movie is about…

I remember thinking that I was exceptionally skilled at it – probably why I’m still so cocky about it today. It just felt very natural and comfortable and right. I immediately knew that I would want to do that again!

Question 4:
Did you think you were good or bad at sex the first time?

Our first time having sex, again with the same boyfriend in all my other firsts, was generally awkward.

It was at a party. Everyone in attendance knew the plan was for us to have sex that night. Everyone was basically cheering us on. My sister had brought along a huge pack of condoms. Again, everyone except us was drinking.

There were a lot of interruptions. Almost as soon as I got my shirt off, my sister barged in and snapped pictures of us (which my Mom later developed and this is how she got confirmation that we had had sex – I had told her ahead of time that it was going to happen). During some pretty intense foreplay, a drunk girl stumbled in insisting I was Crystal. Needless to say, it was hours upon hours upon hours before we finally got down to it.

It was awkward and funny, but I definitely didn’t think I was bad at it. I thought that practice would make us better 😉

Question 5:
What was your first time falling in love like?

Crazy…

We were together for about 2 years, give or take. And I fell really hard. It took me a really long time to get over him. We were both incredibly passionate people – not just in terms of loving each other, but about everything. So, our love was kinda crazy. It was tumultuous.

BONUS:
How do you feel now about your first sexual experiences?

I’ve always felt really good about my first sexual experiences. They happened exactly as I wanted them to at the time, and I don’t think I ever felt uncomfortable about a single one of them.

I was with someone who loved me and whom I loved. We both respected each other and each other’s bodies. Although our first sexperiences weren’t overly romantic and weren’t made out to be these “special moments”, they were perfect and there was no pressure and I think they gave me a really great foundation for my future sexplorations.


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The Rantings - For Adults 18+

Accidental Anal

The Boyfriend and I have not had very much sex lately.

We’ve had plenty of time and lots of opportunity and make plans to have sex frequently, but we’ve both been more focused on cuddling and sleeping. We’ve been making up for it immensely with makeout sessions like we’re new lovers and tons of beautiful snuggling.

But today, I was pretty desperate. So, when we had a chance to take a nap, I quickly whipped off my pants and stuck my ass out for him to touch. And of course, one thing led to another.

I was wet. Like drenched. Soaking. Absolutely wet.

It started on our sides and then we both started liking how it was feeling when he would get deeper. So, up on his knees he went and slowly I was pushed forward until I was basically on my stomach. The position was awkward, but allowed him to perfectly shove his fingers in my mouth, deeply pound my pussy and since I was so wet, easily slide a single finger in my ass.

He’s really gotten into this lately. Quite possibly because it really does make me cum so fast. I absolutely hate that it works so well – and for me, it’s not necessarily the finger in there as much as it is the finger around there – but it’s almost like a trick to speed up my orgasm. After the last time we had unsuccessful anal sex, he told me I would have to tell him when I wanted it.

As he adjusted, I flipped over entirely on my stomach and he quickly penetrated me. I clenched all my muscles, partially because I was playing with my clit and partially because it feels so good when he’s coming at me from behind. The ridge of the head of his cock tugs so wonderfully in this position. It also usually results in some kind of anal play – normally just cock rubbing around that area. But, I kinda figured that I could clench tight enough to make the transition from vaginal sex to anal sex pretty easily.

It’s never worked so well before!

He thrust into my pussy once more, pulled back just enough and literally popped into my ass. Not knowing he had done it entirely (as I said, things were ridiculously wet), he pushed forward again as he began to cum and I literally jumped up and pushed him off, digging my nails into his chest and curling my legs up underneath me. He continued to cum as he sat there seriously confused about what exactly had just happened. At first he thought I was cumming and then he realized what happened and immediately felt bad. It was entirely a ruined orgasm for him. I felt terrible!

The sensation was one of the most intense things I’ve ever felt. The only time I’ve ever experienced anything like it was when I was young and fell on a bicycle seat. I had to fight back tears and it immediately made me feel hot all over my body. It took forever for me to be able to move, my whole body just frozen. He sat and waited patiently for me and then we laid down for our nap.

I couldn’t resist finishing up my orgasm, since I was so close prior to the whole accidental anal incident. It took a really long time to get there and even though The Boyfriend managed to stay awake during the whole thing, I had to completely block him out to get there. Once I was done, he fell asleep in seconds. It took me another hour of tossing and turning.

I spent two days afterwards sore all over, especially in my anal region. And I don’t know if was necessarily the sex or the kids being home or the news at the time or the stuff going on with my family right now, but I spent those two days in the worst kind of funk. Terrible sleeps, terrible dreams, terrible days. Just right down and out.

The Rantings - For Adults 18+

Why I Posted Videos on Pornhub

After promoting my Pornhub profile on Google+, a very close follower asked why The Boyfriend and I chose to begin adding videos to the site as part of our sexperiences.

I decided to share my answer and expand on some thoughts with everyone.


The first time I ever remember watching porn was a video entitled something like “Anal Explorations” or something of that sort. I vividly remember ejecting the VHS from the VCR and thinking, “I want to do that!!!“. Not only does my desire to be a total anal whore mostly stem from this experience, but I thought there could be no better job in the world than getting to make these types of films. I don’t know why, 11 or 12-year-old me was attracted to it.

And it wasn’t just a one-time thought. It’s a thought, been a thought, every time I watch an amazing porn or every time I watch a documentary about the porn industry or every time I research a new favorite pornstar. It’s something that follows me, almost haunts me – or at least it did.

Since I turned 14, I’ve been in a series of long-term monogamous relationships with guys who don’t like to share at all (save for the threesomes with Alfie). Mostly possessive, jealous, “you’re mine” types. Plus, I had babies really young and body image issues and the list really goes on of things that have held it back prior to know. Otherwise, you probably would’ve seen my name on Pornhub when I turned 18!

And let’s be real, it’s not like I’m really new to the world of porn. Just this medium…

I never expected that The Boyfriend and I would ever discuss the concept of uploading videos to Pornhub. It was never something that was on my radar. And up until very recently, I didn’t even know that it was an option. However, it’s not necessarily my first jaunt into the world of porn.

The first time I had sex, there was a picture taken – not in some pornographic way, but in some drunk teenage party way. Every boyfriend I’ve ever had has gotten sexy images. And, I began uploading photos when FetLife became a thing. And we’ve been making home movies for our own personal use for years now!!! And let’s not forget that I write some incredibly graphic details about a large majority of mine and The Boyfriend’s sexperiences already!

“Sharing my sexuality – it’s just what I do!”

To me, it is no different than writing about our sexperiences or sharing pictures from my sexperiences. The only difference is the medium.

Honestly, it was a spur of the moment decision. It wasn’t some laid out plan that had a lot of thought behind it. I don’t even know if we consciously decided to upload more than one. We were both feeling aroused by our stint of exhibitionism and wanted to keep that feeling going is the best I can come up with. And what better way than to upload a video to tube site!

So… Why? Really, the simplest answer is: We felt like it… We wanted to… And we could 😉

The Rantings - For Adults 18+

The Porn Pathway

You know how sometimes, you’re tumbling down the Porn Pathway, and you come across things that make you question or think about your sexuality. The content does more than arouse you or turn you on.

Sometimes, I travel down the Porn Pathway just to have those moments. Actually, a large number of times. Tonight, I was on one.

I’ve been a little obsessed with rape play and consensual non-consent posts. This isn’t really a surprise for me. I seem to go through periods of enjoying this kind of porn, probably because it’s rougher and sometimes, I really like it rough. Sometimes, it makes me question why I like to see women humiliated and tossed around and beaten up and used and abused. Or why I enjoy aspects of each of those things in my own sex?

Speaking of “going through periods“, I think I’m starting to notice some trends – maybe they’re hormonally based or environmentally based or something else entirely, but I seem to go through periods on the Porn Pathway.

For awhile, all I’ll want to see is Daddy/Daughter posts – as in the sexual roleplay Daddy/Daughter posts – and then for a long while, I won’t want to see it at all and it will actually turn me off entirely. For awhile, I’ll be super into cocks and wanting to see them everywhere and then I won’t want to see them unless their inside of womanly parts.

I’ve also really decided that I don’t like certain words used to describe porn – especially in terms of using those labels for myself. I tweeted that I wouldn’t want to be called a MILF, even though I hope that I am one… But the image that the word is associated with in my mind just does not suit what I think I am and I’m also not attracted to that image.

I also absolutely hate the word creampie to describe a man cumming inside of a woman – and I’ll almost never click on a video with such a word in the title – even though I absolutely love to be cummed inside of. I mean, absolutely!!! But if he were to say “I’m going to give you a creampie” over “I’m going to cum in you“, I’d probably be turned right off. It would be the one time his voice wouldn’t do it for me…

All of these stops along the Porn Pathway bring up a lot of questions for me about sexuality and pornography. It also answers a lot of questions about my own sexuality or my curiousities about other’s sexuality. I’m personally a huge supporter of the Porn Pathway simply because it allows me to explore sexuality in a very safe way.

The Rantings - For Adults 18+

The Colors of a Spanking

One thing that really attracts me to spanking in particular is the way in which I feel sensations during them.

It doesn’t happen with things like cropping or flogging, although a similar state is achieved, it’s not the same. During a spanking, it often feels like I have a lot more than five senses. And those five senses, plus all the other new ones, are heightened dramatically.

Sounds become sharper, smells become stronger, I become hyper aware of everything. And, most notably, I begin to feel a specific color.

I’m not talking like my ass starts to feel a particular color. I’m talking like my whole being and surrounding space feels that color. When his hand touches me, it feels like he is splashing me in that color. When I open my eyes, it’s what I see – everything tinted that color. I feel like I’m emitting that color from my skin, like I’m sprayed in the perfume of that color.

The first time he spanked me after our seven year hiatus, I felt red. The marks from the spanking were more of a purple welted color, but my whole being felt red for two days. During The Spanking – Pt. 2, I began feeling pink. Pink I had felt before, red I hadn’t.

I’m convinced that I know that there will be certain colors. Purple will be for the slightly heavier than red spanking, the one that leaves you kicking and writhing – big leftover bruises. Black will be for the first spanking ever experienced where you pass out or push far past a limit. And white, which I’ve decided is my ultimate goal color, is where I believe subspace lies.

I’m also convinced there will be colors that I haven’t imagined yet (and probably don’t want to), like green or blue – the first I imagine, knowing my luck will happen the first time he gets to spank another girl and me at the same time (sad laugh) and the second, I imagine will come after an exceptionally emotional spanking that results in tears and aftercare (above and beyond what is usually required).

I know, for me anyways, that there are for sure two colors that I have personally experienced in my spankings. Pink was very floaty and playful. Red was passionate and serious. I know that there are possibilities for many more emotional sensations during spankings. And I’m desperate to explore all the colors of a spanking!

Do you experience colors during spankings, outside of the color of your ass? Do you experience other heightened sensations during spankings or other sensations that don’t fit within the box of the five senses? 

The Rantings - For Adults 18+

9 Things The Boyfriend Does That Turn Me On

It wasn’t originally meant to be, but in honor of our 9-year anniversary:


The Boyfriend is probably the best lover I’ve ever had. I say probably, because it’s not really something you can compare – or at least not fairly.

I don’t think he knows that he’s so good. I mean, he’s a confident guy who doesn’t really question these things. I would imagine that he thinks he’s just as good as everybody else is – nothing special. Even when I’m raving about his skill, I think he often doubts that I’m telling the truth. Maybe that also has something to do with his greatness – his humility.

I was sitting here thinking about all of the things he does that really turn me on, that really set him on that best lover pedestal. So, I decided it would be fun for me to make a list.

  1. He’s Surprisingly Intuitive

    Which you wouldn’t expect from just his day-to-day being. He’s kinda oblivious outside of the bedroom. But he seems to know what I want long before I’m even fully aware that I want it. Fisting is a perfect example. Just days before, I was saying that I didn’t really think it was an interest, but then it happened and it felt beyond incredible and it was exactly what my pussy had been longing for. And he knew that!

  2. Those Whispers

    He does this talking thing during sex. I’ve tried to describe it many times, I feel like I’ve always failed at getting the description right. I’ve never heard anyone talk the way he does during sex and one day, I’m determined to get a recording of it!! He can literally say anything to me in that voice and it will be utterly erotic to me. We’ve tried it, it’s true!I don’t know what it is about it. The raspiness of his half groan-half whisper. The way certain letters dangle from his lips onto mine – this almost hypnotic need to repeat him. The desperate control in his tone as he breathes out the last syllable. The way it calms me, soothes me, entices me, excites me. It’s so good!

  3. He’s Sensitive, Balanced, Flexible

    I don’t know if those things all go hand-in-hand or not but… He walks this amazing balance between gentle and firm. He makes me feel tiny and beautiful, using only his hands and that voice that drives me wild. He can tell, without a single utterance from me, whether he’s being too rough or to soft and has the ability to adjust in the moment without me even realizing.

    He picks up on the subtle changes, he’s almost never too much of one thing or not enough of another, and he’s able to change directions at the drop of a hat.

  4. He Has Amazing Hands

    Seriously…! When he does just about anything with his hands – it sends a shiver down my spine and right to the tip of my clit! He has this ability to touch me with those hands that can make me immediately wet. When he softly caresses me and I can feel that electrical exchange between us. When he roughly grabs at my flesh and takes in giant handfuls of me. His hands are strong and yet, they can be so delicate.

  5. He’s Creative

    His creativity knows no bounds in the bedroom – even though he really is a vanilla prude sexually. Even with that huge restriction though, he invents new positions on the fly and continues, nine years into it, to surprise me with moves and tricks and ways of discovering each other that I don’t think I could come up with on my own.

  6. He Knows “My Spots”

    He absolutely knows exactly where and how to touch me to achieve certain things. He knows my buttons and precisely when and how to press them. He can take me from focused on anything but sex to soaking between the legs, just with a gentle trace of a specific spot. He can switch me from playful to primal or from on the edge to over it, just by knowing exactly when and how to hit my spots.

  7.  He Watches Me Closely

    It’s surprising to me that I enjoy it at all. I get a very embarrassed type of feeling when he’s watching me. I become hyper aware of everything happening. But, it absolutely turns me on. When I open my eyes as he’s thrusting above me and he’s watching my lips or when I’m going for that second orgasm and he’s down there watching my wetness or when I’m on top and he’s soaking up the view of my bouncing bosom.Probably the hottest thing though, is when our eyes meet and we lock on each other. It brings great focus to a sexperience and an immediate intimacy. I think he would like if we looked in each others eyes more during sex – it doesn’t happen a lot – but when it does happen, ugh! So good!!!

  8. He’s a Great Dad

    On top of all the things he does inside the bedroom that turn me on, he does a lot of things out of the bedroom that really turn me on. First and foremost, he is a great Dad!

    Any time I see him playing with our kids or taking care of them or talking to them, not only does it bring a smile to my face but it definitely makes my ovaries twitch! He does so many things for this family and always does it without complaint. He goes above and beyond for his kids, kids that aren’t biologically his, our family

  9. He’s Crazy Intimate With Me

    Speaking of the out of the bedroom things he does that absolutely turn me on – he’s a super affectionate and very intimate guy, which fits perfectly with my super affectionate and very intimate-ness. People often say we’re “attached at the hip“, as if it’s a terrible thing, but we personally love it like this. We’re passionate about loving each other, in and out of the bedroom. It’s incredibly hot to be able to exchange little moments of intimacy with each other, to stop time together, in this chaotic life of ours.

Of course, this is only a small list of the things he does to turn me on. Not to mention all the ways and things about him that turn me on – like his forearms or the way that he raises his eyebrow when you’ve made him think when he wasn’t expecting it. Obviously, I could go on and on for days!!!


However, in honor of our 9-year anniversary, I’ll leave it at 9 things he does that turn me on.

And if you’re interested, you can look back over our these past anniversary posts:

The Rantings - For Everyone

Wanted for a Decade

NOTE: This post was written over a month ago. The “crap that we’re going through” has not really been an issue for awhile now and I’m still working on reading through both these books. But, this post deals with other posts that I plan on publishing, so I’m publishing it!


I have had these two books #WishListed for over a decade!!!

The average bookstore in the towns I’ve lived don’t offer these kinds of books. I don’t travel and until recently we didn’t order things off the internet. However, now we do order things off the internet and now, I hold in my hands a copy of Dossie Easton and Catherine A. Liszt’s “When Someone You Love Is Kinky” and Dossie Easton and Janet W. Hardy’s “The Ethical Slut“.

It’s a little weird that I got these books at this exact time in my life. Feels a little profound and cathartic.

I’ve alluded to the “crap that we’re going through” and in it all, he is convinced that this whole thing is spurred by my desire to be polyamorous and kinky – and his inability to give me these things. I keep saying that that’s not where it was all coming from, but when it’s pointed out to me, it’s like… “Hmmm… Maybe it was…” (I’m still attempting to write about this whole “crap that we’re going through”, so please be patient with me…).

For a really long time, I have been utterly complacent about my authentic sexuality.

I literally went through an entire process of neglecting it. I went from having a clear definition of what my sexuality was and what I wanted, to ignoring and restraining any urges or desires that came my way that The Boyfriend might deem “freaky”. To calling myself a “Wannabe Kinkster” and changing all of my sexual identifiers to “Unsure“. And yes, it was because of him…!

It was because of this beautiful life, this beautiful relationship that we have together, this beautiful love. It’s always been like this for us. From the first time that whoever grabbed the other’s hand (we never can remember…), it just felt comfortable and natural and right. The whole broken world fell into place.

He was/is vanilla. And I understood/stand that my kinks are not his kinks – and for the most part, I am okay with that. Sure, I struggle. I struggle a lot sometimes. Less now than I used to, but it’s always looming there that I am not being authentic, that the sex we are having is not the sex I want to be having.

Don’t get me wrong. Our sex is incredible. Our sex is out-of-this world amazing. Our sex is mind-boggling. I’ve said it before, I’ll say it again and I don’t see that changing anytime soon. It keeps getting better and better with each passing year and as our relationship deepens. If I were vanilla, I would want for nothing!

But… Alas… I am not vanilla.

It feels weird to get these books in the midst of the “crap we’re going through“, because it feels like yet another loaded move on my part. I can just imagine how The Boyfriend is feeling right now. Like he will never be good enough, like I’m always looking for a kinky guy to come and kidnap me and take me away from him, like I’m unfaithful, disloyal, untrustworthy, a heartbreaker. And getting books about all the things that he’s afraid of must be weighing, to some degree, so heavily on him.

The Rantings - For Adults 18+

Incredibly Interesting

I’m probably wrong when I say this, but it feels like we have been having more sex than we’ve ever had, ever!

And it’s not just that it’s a lot of sex. It’s a lot of very interesting, out-of-the-box, incredibly hot sex. I don’t know if he feels like he’s pushing his own personal boundaries a lot, but he definitely is. I feel like I’ve never experienced him like this – and straight up, I’m not complaining for one second.

Yesterday, we both checked a fantasy off our list. It’s something we’ve often joked about doing when we’re watching porn. Or when we make home movies for our own personal use. And so a quick 11-second clip was uploaded to Pornhub. We spent all day obsessing. He was chalk full of ideas and has listed a ton more videos that he wants to do.

He’s decided he wants to do an “Off the Beaten Path” series. I’m jealous that he came up with the idea long before I did! I don’t think I’ve ever looked at him with such adoration.

He had asked me not to cum after we had taken that walk. He was also mean and sent me all sorts of sexy messages before I went to bed. I had been on a week-long masturbating streak. So, the denial felt more epic than anything. The next day, I kept having sudden very noticeable twinges and gushes of wetness, but I was finding it hard to be aroused. More annoyed than aroused.

http://valerieraynetumbles.tumblr.com/post/161469985111/when-theboyfriend-is-at-work-and-wont-let-me-cum

Waiting for “release” during the next day, while also watching our clip get views, and being in this continual state of flirting and sexual tension with The Boyfriend, was incredibly sexy and when it was finally time to get started, I was beyond ready.

He wanted to start with a spanking. He wanted to make videos. I got dressed up, he got dressed up. He insisted I looked “innocent” with my mini skirt, lace and pigtails. I insisted he looked “incredible” with his vest, jeans and forearms. While it was a short spanking, it was a good spanking. We had cameras at two different spots in the room and it was interesting to see the spanking from these varying perspectives. It’s always very interesting to me when we watch back through these videos and the parts that I really don’t like are usually his favorites. It’s awfully funny how perception works!

My legs got an epic workout last night and I discovered muscles I forgot I had. Bent over the couch, unintentionally on my tip toes, I got a cramp in the back of my calf. Kneeling beneath him, feet under my bum and legs spread, I felt my ankles tingle, signaling they were beginning to fall asleep. One leg on the floor, the other lifted up onto the couch, I felt the whole back of my thigh burn.

Needless to say, positions were switched up frequently.

He was also trying to get a variety of videos and pictures during the whole thing – which I’m absolutely loving that he’s getting into. I said yesterday on FetLife, and I’ve alluded to it in the past, that I love when he plays photographer and I get to play model. Unfortunately, I often feel too shy, in front of him,to be as good of a model as I know I can be – so a lot of the pictures get vetoed by me before he even gets to see them. However, it doesn’t take away from the fact that it is definitely a huge turn-on for me. Huge!

We ended up losing a bunch of videos that were made that night. Neither of us can figure out how it happened and are sure that they must be somewhere, but where that is exactly, not sure. I haven’t been able to keep focus long enough to have the patience to figure it out, so we ended up just going with what we have, and ended up uploading another Pornhub clip… (although let’s be real, we can just call this one a video…!).

After the video was uploaded, we went upstairs to have more sensual and intimate sex than we’ve been having. Or at least that was the plan. It started with me on top and it was full of kissing and hands and eye contact. It’s been a long while since we had sex in, what I think is called, reverse cowgirl – me on top facing his toes. This particular position is rarely used because I often don’t feel very confident in the view – it’s a very open position, especially being that I tend to lean more forward – which is great when I’m in the mood to be looked at, not so much when I’m not.

This proved to be a lot for both of us and the next thing I knew, I was being mounted and fucked from behind. He wanted me to be noisy so he could get a recording of it. I came rather quickly, my hand just barely rubbing my clit but his cock hitting just the right angle inside of me. The recording continued as he pounded into me while I muttered all sorts of dirty things to him about filling me up and giving me his cock. The sensation of him cumming caused me to shudder beneath him.

This morning, he woke me up to 420 views on our second video, The Smoky Blowjob. We had expected to get more than our first video, but not hundreds more. We’ve been checking into Pornhub all day to watch our views climb and see the comments on our videos. It’s been a great deal of fun.

Probably my most favorite thing though, is this exploration of fantasy that’s happening between us. The constant open communication about sexual things – like desires and limits. Being able to feel comfortable checking in with one another, “And how are you feeling about that?“, and not feeling shame in anyway. The sexual dialogue, which is what I’ve always wanted, is just being incredible right now. It’s making me feel all sorts of lovely things about him and us.

I’m definitely having fun during all of this, although it is kinda hard to feel connected to all of it. It’s interesting to me how the idea of “authentic sexuality” has re-appeared so much in my thoughts, after so long of not thinking of it. It’s interesting that the things that I keep saying most have a lot to do with being authentic and that that seems to be at the front of my mind. And in a way it feels like it’s not me and him experiencing these things – but like other people, people who aren’t us. It’s an interesting sensation and experience, one that has me largely in silence.

The Boyfriend keeps asking, “How are you doing?” and I keep not knowing how to respond, because I’m just kinda meh… I’m equating it to the post-sex blues and we’ll see how I feel after his first night back at work to see if it’s anything more. I’m definitely not looking forward to spending the night away from him and imagine it’ll be an early bedtime because I’ll decide I’m missing him too much.

We plan on getting more videos this weekend and are impatiently awaiting the arrival of our restraints and my Blog-A-Holic bra and underwear, because we have tons of ideas surrounding those things. Also interesting that clothing seems to be spawning fantasies for us… I feel like I’m learning a lot of about me, him, and us during all of this!

The Rantings - For Adults 18+

Off the Beaten Path: A Quick Walk in the Woods

For as long as I can remember, The Boyfriend and I have talked about getting me a short skirt.

But we’ve never really looked for a short skirt. Typically, we don’t buy clothes with mainly sex in mind. We buy clothes with comfort in mind. We buy clothes with days with the kids in mind. So, if I get a skirt, it’s a long skirt that’s good for covering things up. But, we really wanted a short skirt.

After a night of talking about wants and desires, we ended up on Amazon browsing around and made a couple impulse purchases. He got a vest, which I’ve always said that I wanted to see him in, and I got a short skirt. It turns out it’s a very short skirt – like don’t-even-think-about-bending-over-a-little-bit-short (which is basically what I was looking for, but I think he had a little longer in mind).

As I expected it would, this skirt has spawned a great deal more fantasy-talking. Lots of ideas coming from both of us all from this one little skirt…

We’ve also both been enjoying taking walks around the beautiful trails. He will sacrifice hours of sleep for us to go hang out down by the river or stand in the forest.

These two things have resulted in the obvious fantasy of wearing the skirt out for one of our walks. We’ve both had varying degrees of the fantasy, me probably more than him, simply because I have more time to fantasize. Needless to say, arousal levels have been incredibly high around here as we wait to be able to put my skirt to use. After describing all the dirty thoughts on my mind, we decided to go walk down by the river and see if wearing my skirt down there on his next days off would even be a possibility.

The List - For Adults 18+

No Longer #FucketListed: An Over-The-Knee Spanking

Since the very beginning of my creation of bucket lists, I have had “get an over-the-knee spanking” at the very top.

When I was pregnant with Carter (about 8ish years ago), The Boyfriend had agreed to spank me. It was a short-lived situation that was a lot of fun for me. But after we had Carter, spankings went completely out the window. And that over-the-knee spanking stayed on the list.

Well, no longer!!!

He’s been spoiling me a lot lately. We’ve had some stuff going on aka “the crap we’re going through” (I’m attempting to write posts about this, but its taking some serious time, so I’m not going to go into too much detail), but in one way or another, things are changing for us. I think he feels very insecure in our relationship right now – and not without cause – and so he’s over-compensating in other ways in an attempt to save what feels to him like a failing relationship. Although, I assure you and him both that I am not going anywhere and have no desire to!!!

Anyways, back to the point of this post…

So, the spoiling started a few days ago. We went on a trip to Wal-Mart to pick up a few things and I walked out with basically an entire summer wardrobe. A few shirts, pants and shorts and a bunch of new thongs that I picked out because I knew he would like them. Then of course, there was the trip to Drumheller and that whole experience (which I’m also writing a post about…). On his last night off, I decide to slip into one of the dresses we got and one of the thongs.

We’re sitting on the couch and he decides to moisturize my feet and legs. This doesn’t happen very often anymore, but used to be a regular occurrence for us. After he’s done, he tells me to lay across his lap. I figure he’s just planning on moisturizing the backs of my thighs or maybe give me a nice ass massage. He lifts up the hem of my dress and then…

Hard, hard, hard slap right on my left cheek.

I squirmed, I kicked, I yelped. He liked that and the next thing you know, we’re having a good long spanking session. A hard spanking session. No real warm-up, no gentleness. He had said earlier in the day during an intense discussion that we were “going to have angry sex tonight“, and his hands felt angry but there was a tenderness in all the hardness.

I was all over the place on the couch across his legs. After the first few hits, every single one felt incredibly intense. My whole ass felt red everywhere, even though he had been hitting almost the exact same spot over and over on each cheek – save for the one closest to him. A few hits, just the edge of his palm or his fingertips, would nick between my legs and I would heave frantically – pain shooting through my insides and then subsiding in a way that literally made me feel the color red.

One good slap on my right cheek, sent me up on all fours and I collapsed with my head on his lap curled up in a ball. He wasn’t done with the spanking yet and continued to give me sporadic hard slaps in between drinking our coffees and smoking. When I laid back across his lap, in quick succession, three hard slaps on my left cheek. By now, that side felt fine for the most part – stingy but nicely numbing. So, the three hard slaps were gentle squirms, pleasurable wiggles, cooing. But then three hard slaps befell my right cheek. The second one caused me to kick up my legs and hold out my arms above my head, arch my back and squeal out. He had to hold my legs down to land the third hit and I swear I’ve never moved away from him faster.

He wanted pictures and told me to bend over the couch. Bright purple lines had begun forming all over both cheeks, especially the left one. You could see where he had hit hardest. Then, out of nowhere, the hardest slap. So hard that I still have a hand print leftover the next day! He was so sad that he didn’t get a video of my reaction. I flew forward and clasped onto the couch, bent down and moaned and groaned and whined, laughed out loud at the sensation, kept trying to stand up but the pain kept me crouching, gripping the couch for dear life!

He giggled and watched me squirm and wiggle and admired his handiwork. He came up behind me and stroked the hair out of my face and helped me to stand. Sitting on the couch was very hard, especially since I could feel the fabric of the couch through the soft dress that I was wearing, the coarse fabric scraping the welts that were now forming.

The sex afterwords was out of this world! My pussy actually ached when he woke me this morning for another round. I was bent over the arm of the couch, tied up for a short period, spread wide open and scrunched up in a tiny ball. He was on top, I was on top. Hands were absolutely everywhere and we were both drenched in sweat.

And I got so much amazing oral sex – like, I’m talking learned-new-things-about-how-wonderful-pleasure-can-be-type amazing!!! He spent time licking and kissing and sucking on things and in places that are rarely ever touched and kept doing this lovely thing with his lip coming up under my clit that would have my toes fiercely pointed. It was intimate and sensual and we were both surprised at how long it took me to cum. Which happened the first time kneeling over top of his face, with his hands going absolutely wild all over me.

There were so many intensely wonderful things happening everywhere. The crazy amount of eye contact – which typically isn’t a huge thing for The Boyfriend and I – during the fisting or the blowjob. His frequent use of his thumbs to either rub my clit or penetrate with, which I had told him that I had recently been fantasizing about a lot. There was also a lot of opportunity for each of us to admire each other – to admire his amazing body or to admire my vocalizations – especially being that we recently got a new picture taker AND for the first time in a few years brought the laptop up to make a home movie 😉

All-in-all, it was one of the greatest nights in our sexperiences, although like I said to him after the spanking, I’m sad that it will always be remembered directly along with the “crap we’re going through“. I’m sad that it’s a marred spanking. However, on the other hand, it’s greatness supersedes that sadness. It was almost everything you want in a sexperience. It was hours and hours and hours of some of best sex The Boyfriend and I have ever had. Not only was there great sex, but there was really great discussions had throughout.

At one point, there was just playful teasing while we browsed Amazon for sex toys – specifically restraints, because he’s apparently really into that right now (no complaints here 😉 😉 😉 ). Lots of questions about interests and limit-setting – neither of us is interested in enemas, hard limit! Another point, he gave me two options: go up to bed, get tied up and fucked, or go on cam and get fucked (which is inline with the “crap we’re going through“) and I immediately said “no” to option number two.

It always fascinates me how an emotionally-charged declination of consent can still result in amazing sex!

Because of the “crap we’re going through“, there were some incredibly awkward points of the sexperience. After the spanking and some of the beginning not-orgasm-focused oral and sex, he abruptly said, “I better never catch you with another man” – which stopped everything dead in its tracks and resulted in a good cuddling/comfort session. Or when I tried to explain, through very cryptic and broken sentences, that I absolutely hated that it took me breaking his heart to, nine years later, finally get an over-the-knee spanking or that I was worried that in some way he had felt obligated to spank me to be able to keep me – that he didn’t do it because he wanted to but because he felt like he had to. There were deep conversations mixed into all the sexiness going on and it made everything feel all that much more intense.

The worst part for both of us was when he came. We were trying really hard to cum together. He held off for so long and let me have two orgasms already. So, by the time he’s getting ready to cum and I’m on top and working on that third orgasm, it’s just not happening. He ends up cumming first at my encouragement. He’s decided he absolutely doesn’t like when this happens, because he ends up falling asleep without meaning to. He felt really bad afterwards that he had had to force himself to stay awake for my third and final orgasm of the night. I assured him that it hadn’t changed how I felt about the night.

We were open and vulnerable and wounded. It was beautiful and it hurt. It made me feel so much. And I desperately needed that!

I was expecting to feel more of the post-sex blues that I typically have the day after really mind-blowing sex between us. I was expecting to feel exhausted from the lack of sleep. I was expecting to be reeling mentally when I had time to think about all the things that happened last night. I was expecting to need some serious aftercare or for him to need it. But today, aside from aching thighs and a very tender, gently bruised backside, I feel really good. I feel full of love and optimistic and just really good. Waking up to another dose of sex and then spending the morning exchanging adoring glances with The Boyfriend has just really made everything feel blissful.

The Rantings - For Adults 18+

Days Off

Sunday, Monday and Tuesday cannot come fast enough!

The Boyfriend has three days off, finally! It feels like it’s been a really long time since he last had longer than two days off and when it’s two days, they go so fast that it’s just not enough. I’m hoping, crossing my fingers hard, that he’ll get a decent amount of sleep one of the nights to be awake enough to actually enjoy a day off together.

His last two days off, we only had sex once. Normally we try to have sex on both nights off to hold us over until his next nights off. But this time, the second night we were both way too exhausted. Our heads hit the pillow and we were asleep before we could even attempt to try for anything.

However, because my body hates me, my period decides to start yesterday. It’s unlikely that it’ll be done by his days off. I spent a good hour upset about it today while I was thinking about all the fun we could have on these days off. I’m getting over it though, because there’s still fun to be had. It’s just unlikely to be vaginal sex.

Honestly, I’m down for just some seriously good cuddling. I want to lie on his chest while he strokes my hair. I want to sleep with his arm wrapped around me. I want to lay on his lap while we’re watching TV. I just want him near me and touching me. I’m desperate to just feel him.

Sunday, Monday and Tuesday cannot come fast enough!