This post is from The List and is for everyone.

#WishListed: Listography

As you are probably well aware (since you are reading from The List), I really enjoy lists.

I enjoy making lists and do so for a lot of different things. My Google Drive folders are full of just lists. I use them to keep track of things and ideas, I use them to organize my life and thoughts and I often like to break big concepts down into really tiny detailed lists.

So, it will come as no surprise to you that I fell in love with these the moment I saw them. I desperately want these!!! My immediate thought when I saw them was that they would probably inspire a lot of blog posts. Some of the titles for the some of the lists really caught my attention and I could absolutely see myself turning to these again and again.

Without further adieu, check out these Listography books, which are now officially #WishListed!


Listography Journal: Your Life in Lists

Listography: Your Life in Lists
Listography: Your Life in Lists

Why I Want It:

With lists like “greatest accomplishments, memorable co-workers, places you’ve lived, guilty pleasures, and greatest acts of kindness“, Your Life in Lists sounds like a great way to take a walk down memory lane – which we all know I’m obsessed with! #NostalgiaJunkie


My Future Listography: All I Want To Do in Lists

My Future Listography
My Future Listography

Why I Want It:

Encouraging users to envision future goals and aspirations” list topics “range from the practical (places to visit, habits to break, good deeds to perform) to the more thoughtful (what you hope people say at your funeral, experiences you would love to have again).”. It’s essentially The List in paperback!


Love Listography: Your Love Life in Lists

Why I Want It:

The blurb says there are “topics ranging from sweet (favorite love songs, best dates) to cringe-worthy (relationship pet-peeves, worst break-ups) to downright naughty.” I’m curious about the downright naughty!!!


Music, Literary and Film Listographies

Why I Want It:

Music – “Loaded with music-inspired list topics ranging from traditional (top 20 favorite albums) to eclectic (songs you thought were about you) to experimental (concerts you wish you could time travel back to), this journal gives music lovers a backstage pass to hours of list-making fun” – sells itself!

Literary – List topics range “from the quintessential (books that made me cry, special book stores) to the lovably idiosyncratic (fictional crimes I’ve witnessed, favorite reading spots)“, this one would be fun for tracking my reading experiences.

Film – Topics ranging “from the classic (favorite films of all time, favorite actors) to the lovably idiosyncratic (top so-bad-it’s-good movies, scenes that made you cringe, characters you are most like)” are likely to make me delve deeper into my film experiences.


Spirit Listography: My Inner Self in Lists

Spirit Listography: My Inner Self in Lists
Spirit Listography: My Inner Self in Lists

Why I Want It:

Spirit Listography serves as a unique memoir and bucket list for those interested in self-reflection and mindful action (appropriate for all spiritual practices).” Some lists include things I’m grateful for and favorite things to smell.


Parenthood Listography: My Kid in Lists

Parenthood Listography: My Kid in Lists
Parenthood Listography: My Kid in Lists

Why I Want It:

It would not be okay for me to get just one of these books. I’d need at least 5 of them for each of the kids.

And then I could keep memories of them in neat lists, like “things your kid should know about their parents, your child’s favorite songs and imaginary tales they told” or “A List of Personality Traits I Aspire To Have As a Parent, A List of Things You Destroyed, List of Your Talents, List of Funny Things You Said, Places I Hope To Take You Someday“. So many great parenting-related lists!!!


There are other books in the Listography series, including a travel journal and lists for foodies. There’s even a boardgame that you can play with friends!!! However, these were the ones that really set my heart on fire and I could see myself using regularly.

Which one(s) would you want the most? Are you a lover of lists? Do you have any of these? Do you love them?

The List - For Adults 18+

No Longer #FucketListed: An Over-The-Knee Spanking

Since the very beginning of my creation of bucket lists, I have had “get an over-the-knee spanking” at the very top.

When I was pregnant with Carter (about 8ish years ago), The Boyfriend had agreed to spank me. It was a short-lived situation that was a lot of fun for me. But after we had Carter, spankings went completely out the window. And that over-the-knee spanking stayed on the list.

Well, no longer!!!

He’s been spoiling me a lot lately. We’ve had some stuff going on aka “the crap we’re going through” (I’m attempting to write posts about this, but its taking some serious time, so I’m not going to go into too much detail), but in one way or another, things are changing for us. I think he feels very insecure in our relationship right now – and not without cause – and so he’s over-compensating in other ways in an attempt to save what feels to him like a failing relationship. Although, I assure you and him both that I am not going anywhere and have no desire to!!!

Anyways, back to the point of this post…

So, the spoiling started a few days ago. We went on a trip to Wal-Mart to pick up a few things and I walked out with basically an entire summer wardrobe. A few shirts, pants and shorts and a bunch of new thongs that I picked out because I knew he would like them. Then of course, there was the trip to Drumheller and that whole experience (which I’m also writing a post about…). On his last night off, I decide to slip into one of the dresses we got and one of the thongs.

We’re sitting on the couch and he decides to moisturize my feet and legs. This doesn’t happen very often anymore, but used to be a regular occurrence for us. After he’s done, he tells me to lay across his lap. I figure he’s just planning on moisturizing the backs of my thighs or maybe give me a nice ass massage. He lifts up the hem of my dress and then…

Hard, hard, hard slap right on my left cheek.

I squirmed, I kicked, I yelped. He liked that and the next thing you know, we’re having a good long spanking session. A hard spanking session. No real warm-up, no gentleness. He had said earlier in the day during an intense discussion that we were “going to have angry sex tonight“, and his hands felt angry but there was a tenderness in all the hardness.

I was all over the place on the couch across his legs. After the first few hits, every single one felt incredibly intense. My whole ass felt red everywhere, even though he had been hitting almost the exact same spot over and over on each cheek – save for the one closest to him. A few hits, just the edge of his palm or his fingertips, would nick between my legs and I would heave frantically – pain shooting through my insides and then subsiding in a way that literally made me feel the color red.

One good slap on my right cheek, sent me up on all fours and I collapsed with my head on his lap curled up in a ball. He wasn’t done with the spanking yet and continued to give me sporadic hard slaps in between drinking our coffees and smoking. When I laid back across his lap, in quick succession, three hard slaps on my left cheek. By now, that side felt fine for the most part – stingy but nicely numbing. So, the three hard slaps were gentle squirms, pleasurable wiggles, cooing. But then three hard slaps befell my right cheek. The second one caused me to kick up my legs and hold out my arms above my head, arch my back and squeal out. He had to hold my legs down to land the third hit and I swear I’ve never moved away from him faster.

He wanted pictures and told me to bend over the couch. Bright purple lines had begun forming all over both cheeks, especially the left one. You could see where he had hit hardest. Then, out of nowhere, the hardest slap. So hard that I still have a hand print leftover the next day! He was so sad that he didn’t get a video of my reaction. I flew forward and clasped onto the couch, bent down and moaned and groaned and whined, laughed out loud at the sensation, kept trying to stand up but the pain kept me crouching, gripping the couch for dear life!

He giggled and watched me squirm and wiggle and admired his handiwork. He came up behind me and stroked the hair out of my face and helped me to stand. Sitting on the couch was very hard, especially since I could feel the fabric of the couch through the soft dress that I was wearing, the coarse fabric scraping the welts that were now forming.

The sex afterwords was out of this world! My pussy actually ached when he woke me this morning for another round. I was bent over the arm of the couch, tied up for a short period, spread wide open and scrunched up in a tiny ball. He was on top, I was on top. Hands were absolutely everywhere and we were both drenched in sweat.

And I got so much amazing oral sex – like, I’m talking learned-new-things-about-how-wonderful-pleasure-can-be-type amazing!!! He spent time licking and kissing and sucking on things and in places that are rarely ever touched and kept doing this lovely thing with his lip coming up under my clit that would have my toes fiercely pointed. It was intimate and sensual and we were both surprised at how long it took me to cum. Which happened the first time kneeling over top of his face, with his hands going absolutely wild all over me.

There were so many intensely wonderful things happening everywhere. The crazy amount of eye contact – which typically isn’t a huge thing for The Boyfriend and I – during the fisting or the blowjob. His frequent use of his thumbs to either rub my clit or penetrate with, which I had told him that I had recently been fantasizing about a lot. There was also a lot of opportunity for each of us to admire each other – to admire his amazing body or to admire my vocalizations – especially being that we recently got a new picture taker AND for the first time in a few years brought the laptop up to make a home movie 😉

All-in-all, it was one of the greatest nights in our sexperiences, although like I said to him after the spanking, I’m sad that it will always be remembered directly along with the “crap we’re going through“. I’m sad that it’s a marred spanking. However, on the other hand, it’s greatness supersedes that sadness. It was almost everything you want in a sexperience. It was hours and hours and hours of some of best sex The Boyfriend and I have ever had. Not only was there great sex, but there was really great discussions had throughout.

At one point, there was just playful teasing while we browsed Amazon for sex toys – specifically restraints, because he’s apparently really into that right now (no complaints here 😉 😉 😉 ). Lots of questions about interests and limit-setting – neither of us is interested in enemas, hard limit! Another point, he gave me two options: go up to bed, get tied up and fucked, or go on cam and get fucked (which is inline with the “crap we’re going through“) and I immediately said “no” to option number two.

It always fascinates me how an emotionally-charged declination of consent can still result in amazing sex!

Because of the “crap we’re going through“, there were some incredibly awkward points of the sexperience. After the spanking and some of the beginning not-orgasm-focused oral and sex, he abruptly said, “I better never catch you with another man” – which stopped everything dead in its tracks and resulted in a good cuddling/comfort session. Or when I tried to explain, through very cryptic and broken sentences, that I absolutely hated that it took me breaking his heart to, nine years later, finally get an over-the-knee spanking or that I was worried that in some way he had felt obligated to spank me to be able to keep me – that he didn’t do it because he wanted to but because he felt like he had to. There were deep conversations mixed into all the sexiness going on and it made everything feel all that much more intense.

The worst part for both of us was when he came. We were trying really hard to cum together. He held off for so long and let me have two orgasms already. So, by the time he’s getting ready to cum and I’m on top and working on that third orgasm, it’s just not happening. He ends up cumming first at my encouragement. He’s decided he absolutely doesn’t like when this happens, because he ends up falling asleep without meaning to. He felt really bad afterwards that he had had to force himself to stay awake for my third and final orgasm of the night. I assured him that it hadn’t changed how I felt about the night.

We were open and vulnerable and wounded. It was beautiful and it hurt. It made me feel so much. And I desperately needed that!

I was expecting to feel more of the post-sex blues that I typically have the day after really mind-blowing sex between us. I was expecting to feel exhausted from the lack of sleep. I was expecting to be reeling mentally when I had time to think about all the things that happened last night. I was expecting to need some serious aftercare or for him to need it. But today, aside from aching thighs and a very tender, gently bruised backside, I feel really good. I feel full of love and optimistic and just really good. Waking up to another dose of sex and then spending the morning exchanging adoring glances with The Boyfriend has just really made everything feel blissful.

The List - For Everyone

#BucketListed: Publish My First Book

I’ve long talked about my desire to write a book. It’s something I’ve always wanted to do.

I even have books in the works. By in the works, I mean that they are sitting in folders – some of them only just started, some of them just outlined and some of them with thousands of unedited words.

However, I would in no way say that I’m anywhere near the point of publishing said first book yet. Not even close!

Being an author is a way of immortalizing yourself – more than almost any other medium. Words live for centuries!  You can still read the words of authors and philosophers written from thousands of years ago. I was always a big fan of journaling, to remember myself, to remember who I was. To immortalize and preserve myself for myself.

What began as journaling evolved into writing. It’s how I started blogging. I wasn’t doing it to reach out to readers or start conversations, I was just writing in my online journal. Then I began publishing erotica and can now, sorta, put myself into the writer category. Sorta.

In terms of what types of books I want to publish, it ranges and varies. Generally, I want to stick to sex-based subjects, because it’s what I think I know. And what I’m passionate about – which is ultimately what matters. From erotic novels to non-fiction sexual education-type books.

Does that mean that this should be #FucketListed?

To which, my answer is, no it shouldn’t be. Because it’s not a sexual want/desire/aspiration. It’s a very day-to-day mundane interaction – writing a book, that is. Publishing a book is not sexual, even if it’s content may be. And if I only wanted to publish erotica, then maybe. But again, that’s not all I can write!

More than anything though, I want to feel my book in my hands. I struggle with publishing an eBook alone because I want to feel the weight of my words. I want to hear my finger slide down the page and the spine crack! I want to turn the crisp pages and have that memorable smell waft towards my nose. I want to make it to the final page and experience the ending in the way only closing a book can allow. I want to set it down and feel completed.

The List - For Adults 18+

#FucketListed: Sex in Public

In TO DO: Sex in the Great Outdoors, I talked about all the outside spaces that I would love to have sex – like the forest or under the stars and in the rain or on the side of the road. I promised at the end of that post that I would later write a post about all the public spaces that I would to have sex, so now, I’m making good on my promise!

In a Dressing Room

We’ve all seen the porn. Girl takes boyfriend to lingerie store. Invites him in to help her try on her bra. Thong gets pulled to the side as he thrusts into her, both of them struggling not to get caught. Hot!

At a Club

I’ve written erotica about it. I regularly use it as masturbatory fodder. Dancing is honestly one of my favorite things. Drunk slutty dancing, being ogled and groped by strangers, the bass… Yup, definitely want this!

At the Strippers

Okay, so really, there’s a variety of different club-venues that I’d like to have sex at.

The previous one, “a club” would just be a regular normal vanilla nightclub. The strippers would be amazing. It would be especially amazing if we went on amateur night and I got brave enough to get up on stage. Then, the dancing turns us both on so much that we can’t help but run off to the bathroom or some booth somewhere!

At a Sex Club

The point is to get naked and have sex with people. Maybe just us in a room, maybe us being watched by a gang of people in a room or maybe having sex with other people or some type of variation of sex at a sex club.

At a Fetish Club

After the dungeon has been explored, after new sensations have been discovered, after we have gone up and come down, after it all – just me and him at a fetish club – people can watch, but I’d really love for it to be intimate and sensual.

In a Hotel

While the hotel room sex would be fun, and I suppose technically belongs on this list, I’m specifically talking about areas of the hotel that you aren’t typically supposed to be having sex. The elevator, the hallways, the stairwell, the hotel pool 😉

During a Concert

A very common theme in my indoor fantasies is apparently music… At a rock show, a classical opera, an indie folk jam, even an epic music festival. If you’ve ever seen the scene from SLC Punk where Sandy tells Steve-O to fuck her like a man – that! (And if you haven’t seen SLC Punk, I strongly suggest you do!!)

At the Doctors/Hospital

There is a lot of time wasted while you’re waiting for a doctor. I don’t know if I could ever be brave enough to do full out sex in the doctors office or even in a hospital room (unless it was for some sexual study), but I could definitely manage some hand stuff!

At the Movie Theater

It’s a little cliché, I know. But it’s literally the perfect public place to again, do some hand stuff. If you were to wait for the right amount of time, you could basically have an empty theater to go wild in!

Keep in mind that these are only indoor spaces. You can see outdoor spaces in this post. There’s probably more that I didn’t think of and if I remember any, I’ll add them as I remember.

So, tell me, where are some other places or ways that you could have sex in public spaces? Ever done any of the above or wanted to do any of the above? What do you think are some things to keep in mind when you’re having sex in public? Should you plan ahead or should it be spontaneous. Leave your thoughts about sex in public in the comments below!

The List - For Everyone

#WishListed: Blog-A-Holic Boyshorts & Sports Bra

I don’t often wear underwear or bras, but I would love to prance around my house in these adorable boyshorts and this comfy looking sports bra. These are products I made for my Zazzle shop, Valerie Rayne’s Swag. Products are slowly being added, but I loved these so much that I wanted to share them with you now.

I plan on getting them before summer!

The sports bra is available in white and yellow – although I personally like the white better. The boyshorts however, are available in white, black, red and blue and I like it on all of them! I plan to get a pair in each of the available colors – because honestly, I could wear anything that says “Blog-A-Holic” on it every single day!

If you would like to view anymore details about these or any of the other products available, please visit Valerie Rayne’s Swag. And to see more items for blog-a-holics, check out the Blog-A-Holic Collection. And now, I wanna know…

Which color boyshorts would you get first? 

This post is from The List and is for everyone.

TO DO: Online

I’ve spent a lot of time over the last couple of days mindlessly clicking around on the computer, not really sure what to do or where to go. I’ve been writing a lot of posts that aren’t getting finished and I’ve just generally been feeling a huge lack of motivation and inspiration, even though it’s literally staring me in the face!

I think the biggest problem is that there are just so many things that I want to be doing, so many things that I should be doing and so many things that I could be doing, that it’s just a little bit overwhelming. I decided I needed to get the to-do list out of my head so that maybe I can make some progress, any progress…

Things I Want to Be Doing Online:

  • Listening to podcasts

    I subscribe to a few different podcasts always with the thinking that I’m going to listen to, but I just never seem to find the moment or desire to listen to them, so they just sit there piling up on me…

    In a perfect world: I’d love to listen to podcasts live. I’d even be happy with one night a week listening to podcasts. Ideally, I’d spend an hour every night listening to podcasts – since I follow enough to fill up that schedule quickly…

  • Reading articles

    There are so many things to read on the internet. I’ve always wanted to read articles from my favorite blogs and relevant to my interests. And while I’ll occasionally click, the reality is that I’m missing huge amounts of content because I’m not regularly reading those articles.

    In a perfect world: I’d save any articles that I was interested in reading (using something like Pocket) and spend a minimum of an hour every night going over the reading I had saved up for the day.

  • Instagram-ing

    Currently, I post to Instagram and check in on it whenever I post a picture. As those who follow me may notice, I rarely ever post pictures. I’d like that whole entire thing to change!

    In a perfect world: I’d like to take one selfie, one landscape photo and one picture of the kids every single day – that would be ideal for me.

  • Publishing a Book

    This is so high up there on my list right now! I’ve been thinking about it constantly and debating the pros and cons of my options and I just feel like I’m not closer to anything. But, I really want to publish a book and make my first $0.99 sale and the ultimate goal is to one day hold my work in a print book in my hands!

    In a perfect world: By the end of 2016, I’d really like to have a plan to accomplish this goal!

  • Releasing YouTube Videos

    I used to release cover videos on a relatively regular basis, back when I had a guitar. Then, my guitar broke and I basically stopped putting out videos. I miss the good ole days and I’d like to go back to them.

    In a perfect world: More than just covers, I’d like to release a few different kinds of videos. It’d be fun to release vlogs of life with the family, covers and original songs, as well as some things about my biggest interests – sexuality, erotica and The Sims 4. I’m thinking, release a video at least twice a week.

There are, of course, a number of other “goals” I have for online, such as a certain number of Tweets per week or certain types of content on Facebook, for example. However, those aren’t really things that I’d like to be doing so much as things that I’m currently attempting to do – maybe I’ll go into that in a different post. But these are just a few of things that I’d like to be doing online.

This post is from The List and is intended for adults 18+.

TO DO: Sex in the Great Outdoors

As a young-ish teenager without a bed to hump on, it was common and frequent that the great outdoors became my first boyfriend and I’s favorite place to get freaky. Blowjobs thigh-deep in snow or feet knocking on branches from the bushes around us, abandoned stairwells lit by the moon or wide open fields where gentle kisses were exchanged.

Part of it was necessity. If we wanted to have sex, we had to have it outdoors, because we definitely weren’t allowed to be having it indoors! With no bed to hump on, we took the streets, during and after school hours and traveled our little northern city in search of the perfect fuck spot. As a teenager, I thought the only reason we did it was necessity. I know now that a big part of it was excitement surrounding the fear of getting caught.

I was caught, once (assuming we’re not counting all the times we were caught doing things that aren’t sex – oral, vaginal or anal – but verge very closely to it). I got over it really quickly.

As a slightly older teenager/young adult, I had a bed to hump on but sometimes, the moment just called for spontaneous sex. As a new/newer Mom and with a relationship that was chaotically swinging out of control, when the opportunity for sex presented itself (even if it was at 3 AM in the morning… After a girl called you disgusting…  And the whole bar saw your thong because your skirt ripped up the back) you took it (even if it was on the steps of a church), because you never knew when that window might open again.

Almost all of the things I’ve done, sexually speaking, with The Boyfriend, I’ve done with boyfriends before him. Obviously, the experiences were entirely and completely (and I mean, ENTIRELY) different. But, one thing The Boyfriend and I have never done that any of my other boyfriends have is have outdoor sex. Car sex, we’ve had (good times). Pressed-up-against-a-window sex, we’ve had. But never have we ventured out into the wild for an encounter. Always been just outside of the outdoors. Not even a blowjob in the park!

And it’s not for lack of amazing places to have outdoor sex. On almost every outdoor walk we’ve taken as a couple, it’s like we’re sex spot hunters on the prowl. We name off great little nooks and crannies all around us and it’s probably the biggest reason why every summer we love to go on so many walks – lots of fantasizing. And I know it’s not for a lack of interest. As described above, I’m obviously down and The Boyfriend has always said that he’d love to do it. I guess the biggest hindrance is likely opportunity, especially being that I can only remember a couple walks that we took without kids along.

There are a lot of places and ways that I’d like to have outdoor sex, including (but not limited to):

While I’m Camping

I’m not a big fan of camping and I’ve never gone and had a good time camping. I hate all the things about camping, especially nighttime surrounded by nature. However, I’ve always always always wanted to give a blowjob at a campfire and have loud sex in a tent under the stars!

Surrounded By Trees

My favorite thing about walking through forests is picking out spots where there’s a little cluster of trees almost forming a room among the mossy mounds. Not far off the path through the woods but deep enough to hide nude humans.

On a Park Bench

Just a regular ole park bench quickie, nothing fancy.

At The Beach

I know, it’s so cliché. And in reality, I’d be hard-pressed to do this one for fear of sand entering my vagina. But every time I see a porn with sex on the beach, it is honestly such a huge turn on. The waves, the water, the sun – it just sounds so good!

On The Side of the Road

You know –  you go on a long ride somewhere. You have to pull over to stretch your legs. You get out your door and lean up against the side of the car. He comes around visibly aroused and when he turns you around and slams you up against the door, BLAM! On the side of the road!

On a Hill

Not a super steep one, just a gentle rolling one. Preferably looking out over nature – more hills, even just grass. First with our feet facing towards the bottom of the hill, then with our feet facing up to the top. There’s this perfect hill across the street from our house, but I couldn’t see either of us being brave enough to conquer it!

On a Roof

And not just any roof, but a roof on a really tall building.

In the Snow

I want to be warm or have extreme warmth (like a fire and hot chocolate) to return to, but a sexy meeting in our snowsuits or a gloved-hand handjob could be a lot of fun. And the activity is sure to help with the whole keeping me warm thing.

In the Rain

It’s raining, it’s pouring and all I hear is moaning! And, I want to have sex in all the different types of non-destructive rains, like the soft rain on a sunny day or the first heavy downpour or the big gloppy wet rain or the near-slush early spring.

In a Parking Lot

Everyone’s going about their thing, they’re not going to notice the two people on the far side of the lot going at it, right? We’d have to start with barely busy lots and work our way up to more crowded, I think.

When the Sun Rises and Sets

To be outdoors, on your back, while the sun rises and/or sets, with your lover blissfully pounding away just seems like a beautiful experience to me. Especially if you consciously choose to be aware of that rising/setting sun during the encounter. I think it’d be precious.

Under the Stars

Again, a degree of consciousness would add that extra bit of special to this experience. It could end up being really romantic and intimate, especially under the vastness of twinkling darkness. Ideally, as far away from city lights as possible!

Keep in mind that this list only includes outdoor locations, not public spaces – that’s for a whole other post! And, in a perfect world, these wouldn’t be once-in-a-lifetime spur-of-the-moment occurrences. They would be sought after adventures that added that extra something to our sex life.

So, tell me, where are some other places or ways that you could have sex outdoors? Ever done any of the above or wanted to do any of the above? What do you think are some things to keep in mind when you’re having sex outdoors? Should you plan ahead or should it be spontaneous. Leave your thoughts about sex in the great outdoors in the comments below!

This post is from The List and is for everyone.

TO DO: Fall De-Cluttering and Re-Decorating

So, let’s be honest. In terms of decoration, my house has none. Some of you may remember my one piece of wall art. Not even that exists anymore. And in terms of clutter, my house has an abundance of it. This is really a project of epic proportions, especially when you consider my house has three floors, four bedrooms and we’ve lived in it for almost five years.

Get Rid of Junk Furniture

Currently, we have an abundance of junk furniture. We have a reclining chair and washing machine in our basement, both of which do not work. We have broken dressers all over the place upstairs and all of our living room furniture is in dire need of replacement. For so long, we’ve just moved unusable furniture off to the side and out of the way, but now that we have the van, we need to dispose of the useless stuff.

Clear the Clutter

Between the milk crates and boxes stuffed full of records and the bookshelf filled with a bunch of books I’ll never read to the boxes packed to the brim with wires and the laundry scattered through the entire house, there is a lot of clutter taking up space in our place. It’s not just about organizing the clutter, it’s also about getting rid of all the excess stuff. The clothes, the papers, the books, the stuff.

Super Deep Clean

Every Spring and every Fall, we have an inspection that takes place. For this inspection, we super deep clean our house. A clean happens about every two or three days, a good clean happens about every week and a half or so, a deep clean happens about once a month (sometimes longer or shorter, depending on how well we’ve managed the other stages of cleaning) and a super deep clean happens around inspection time or when other special things are happening. We know we’ve got an inspection coming up soon, so it’s definitely that time again. Plus, after clearing everything out and organizing it properly, the super deep clean is going to be needed.

Zone the House

In almost every article I’ve ever read about getting your house organized, there is usually a section that talks about setting up “zones” or specific areas for specific things. For example, I know that I’m going to leave out my front door and come back in through my front door. I know that when I get in, I’m going to empty my pockets. I can then setup a “zone” in that area with a bowl and garbage can; the bowl to throw my pocket junk into and the garbage can for when I pull the bits of paper out of the bowl…

In our house, there are a few different “zones” that need to be created, especially the area I just described, although with stuff for the whole family. We need a front-door zone, a homework zone, a bathtime zone, a cleaning zone, a laundry zone and then the usuals, like the living room, kitchen, bedrooms, etc. Most of this is just creating the space for them, and some of it might include having to replace furniture or buy things to accommodate the zone.

Decorate My Zones

I started this post talking about decoration and then haven’t even mentioned it yet. Everything needs to be cleaned first and once the zones have been figured out, I’d like to add a personal touch of decoration to the spaces. Back at our front-door zone again (because it’s a great example area), I’d love to have a little mirror and a perfectly set up calendar, maybe even a nice chipper plant. I’ve seen some amazing zoning decoration ideas on Pinterest (See: Spaces to Die For) that I’d love to modify to work for our family, so it’s a matter of configuring our zones with what we have and then adding in the decorations.

Set Up a Schedule

It goes on the same premise of many of my other to-dos about setting up manageable routines. This one, more specifically to keep down on clutter and manage the cleanliness of the house between super deep cleans. This particular schedule consists of seasonal or annual chores, like changing out the winter closet with summer stuff or going through all the stuff to rid ourselves of junk. It should also include monthly chores like flipping the mattresses or changing the furnace filters. And finally, things we can do daily or weekly to keep up on the clutter and cleanliness, like using our zones or going through the mail immediately.

There’s a lot of printables around the web with these types of schedule and zoning practices, which I might use. Although like I said in my post about setting up a home management system, I’m not sure what method is going to work best for us, so it’s time to figure that out! And then work it until it works!

It doesn’t look so daunting when I put it into these big chunks like this and that makes me happy. However, I know that each of these headings has a huge list of to-dos beneath it and I know that once we start, that happy feeling will disintegrate entirely and will be replaced with an extreme lack of motivation. I figure each step will take at least a day and a half, but when it’s done and we’re just at the following the schedule point, it’ll be a hell of a great day!

This post is from The List and is for everyone.

When I Grow Up… I’ll Get a Degree

I’m going to start this post off by saying that when it comes to post-secondary education, I basically know nothing. Although I vividly remember having a desire to attend Harvard at an incredibly young age, by high school, I knew that I would never attend college and my fate was basically sealed when I dropped out two weeks into my twelfth year.

I did return to a community-type college a few years later in hopes of becoming a unit clerk. My interests have always been based around medicine in some way and while I don’t believe I could ever become a doctor, I could sure as heck do everything that was required of a unit clerk. Unfortunately, this whole entire plan failed miserably and I wasn’t able to complete that either.

Part of my biggest issue with going back to school in anyway has always been a lack of a sense of direction. Not knowing what I need to do to get to where I want to go and not knowing for sure that where I want to go is where I want to be. Although I do have to say that in recent years that has changed somewhat, however the opportunities for what I want to do, seem far less available to me.

For a few years now, I’ve been highly interested in becoming a sex therapist and/or sexologist. Both areas tend to interest me and honestly, I’d like to become an expert in both fields. I know that there are a large number of ways to achieve this and a variety of different educational paths to go down to get to that ultimate goal. Which only makes the sense of direction that much more lacking.

While I don’t think you need a degree to be a grown up, when I grow up, I’d really like to have one. I’d like to have one for my career prospects (which at the present are rather abysmal), I’d like to have one to show off to all the people, I’d like to have one to show off to myself! I’d love to go through the dedication and commitment it takes to earn a degree and I’d like to come out on the other side feeling like a much more rounded and educated person.

In a perfect world, I would really love to have a degree in psychology with a focus on sexuality in some way. However, I don’t know if I would ever qualify to even attempt to obtain a psychology degree. One day, I’ll visit my local college and see a knowledgeable guidance counsellor and find out what I can do and how I can do it. Previously, I’ve gone to employment and education services that have no idea how to go about doing anything of a sexual nature and look at me like I’m a lunatic upon the suggestion. Maybe the reaction will be different among academics. For now, I’ll just dream about the day when I’m all grown up!

The List - For Adults 18+

TO DO: Re-Launch The Erotic Writers Group

As you probably read somewhere around here, I am the founder of The Erotic Writers Group. This has always been a Google+ community for #EroticWriters and #EroticReaders (our official hashtags) that allows them to connect, share, learn and inspire.

The Erotic Writers Group has gone through various stages, as all of my blogging adventures have. Originally, it was going to be a members-only group on a now defunct adult writers website. Then, Google+ came along and was the perfect platform for it and we’ve been there ever since. We’ve also ventured off and had our blog, Challenge Central and a ton of other offerings over the years.

However, a few months back, we stepped back and let the group just kind of run itself. Stopped all of our “stuff” and took a break from the hustle and bustle of it all. It’s a necessary mistake sometimes. That being said, the work has not stopped! Over the past few months, I’ve been hard at it to think of what I really want for the future of The Erotic Writers Group, what our members have said that they want and we’re starting to build a really nice foundation.

There’s still lots to be done though!

  1. Look for Help

    This one sounds so darn easy, doesn’t it? For some reason, it’s always the hardest part of it for me. Right now, I need help with everything, so narrowing it down isn’t easy.

  2. Finish the Website

    You’re hearing it here first (so, shhh!!!), but the website has been set up. I’ve worked really hard to get everything just perfect and now it’s time to start adding all the content.

  3. Run Some Tests

    Again, this is going to involve asking for help, so not easy. However, the site will need to be tested once all the content is added so that we can fix anything that isn’t working.

  4. Figure Out Exactly What We’re Offering

    I’ve got ideas… Lots and lots and too many ideas! I want to offer everything and anything that a writer or reader might need. Alas, that isn’t wise nor is it possible…

  5. Figure Out How We’re Monetizing

    The reality is: the group deserves to have a source of income – especially when she’s in full-blown active mode. There are so many options here and I just can’t decide on the right one for me/us.

  6. Get Back to Social

    Although I have been participating as a member of the group, I haven’t touched the official group social accounts in months. That includes Google+, Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest, YouTube, etc.

  7. Get the Anthology Going Again

    It’s always been a goal of the group to release a group anthology. We have a lot of really talented writers and tons of interested readers, now all we need is the right people to bring the idea together.

  8. Tell the World About Us!

    I want to do a real website launch for The Erotic Writers Group. I want it to be a big deal for our members and I want it to expose us to new writers and readers. Again, tons of ideas lying in wait.

Of course, there are tons of other things that need to be done. I mean, I’ve only scratched the very surface of the to-do list and basically summed up a ton of things that really require a great deal of baby steps. It’s not going to be easy, but it will be worth it once it’s done.

The List - For Adults 18+

TO DO: Sexual Enhancement Routines

I’ve always looked at sex as something so much more than sex – almost as if it’s a way to achieve some sort of  enlightenment, the ultimate nirvana. I use these particular words, because I have no other to explain the way that I feel about the act and art of having sex.

Like any other act that requires a great deal of mastery, I think that sex is like a marathon you train for. Yes, we are all naturally able to have great sex and we don’t need to work at it – just like we’re all able to throw a punch and hit our target. But if you train your muscles and your mind, your fists can endure stacks of bricks. In the same way, your sex can go from great to nirvana.

Now, I’m not saying that I have the answers to enlightenment. I really don’t and I don’t think anyone does. However, there are a few things that I’ve always wanted to do to improve myself as a partner in a relationship, a lover in (and out) of the bedroom and as a sexual being.

Orgasm Daily

Orgasms have a wide array of health benefits which have been proven over and over again by science. Everything from lowering cholesterol to decreasing your chances of becoming depressed. And, they feel damn good!

Plus, after completing all the other stuff on this list, I’d probably have to orgasm just so that I wouldn’t spend the day in a state of arousal…

Do 100 Kegels a Day

Kegel exercises involve tightening the pelvic floor muscles and decrease the likelihood of incontinence as we age, among a number of other benefits, including a more controlled orgasm. Kegels are easy to do and can be done anywhere and I really do love to do them!

I’d like to aim to do 100 of them, in intervals of 10 or 20 at a time. Wake up, do my kegels, check. Eat, do my kegels, check. Do the dishes, do my kegels, check. Write a blog post, do my kegels, check. You get the point 😉

Sexercise

As I get older (and lazier…), my body just doesn’t move in the way it used to. I mean, I can still get into all the crazy positions and he flops me about like a ragdoll, but it just doesn’t move the same way it used it. Sometimes, it gets sore or my hip locks up mid-pounding or I get a cramp in my leg at the worst possible moment.

Stretches and yoga-esque moves seem to be the best options here. The core strength is necessary for maintaining my balance and the flexibility will help when he decides to throw my legs above my head!

Wear Ben-Wa Balls or Alternatives

In the same vein as the Kegels, I’d like to wear ben-wa balls or some other alternative like the Lelo Luna Beads (both of which I’ve owned in the past). I’d like to wear these separate from the 100 Kegels and I’d like for this time to be a very meditative time, where I’m more focused more on the sensations of the experience.

Kegels can be done rather mindlessly. I’d like to wear ben-wa balls mindfully.

Self-Exam Sessions

Prior to the hustle and bustle of kids, it was common for a quick breast exam or a mirror inspection of my vulvular area. I was also regularly visiting my physician. These things happen far less often (really… never…) and I’d really like to go back to the days of knowing my girlie parts like the back of my hand.

Once a month breast fondling and mirror time is not only a great way to ensure my bits are as healthy as they should be but also wonderful for reassuring me of the beauty of my vagina and breasts 😉

Luckily, every single thing on this list, save for the ben-wa balls, is 100% free and accessible for me – for anyone really, so checking these ones off The List shouldn’t be too hard. It’s just a matter of reminding myself to do them and get them done!

What are some other routines that you could employ to enhance your sex life? Leave your thoughts in the comments below!

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The List - For Everyone

TO DO: Get Back-To-School Ready

This year is probably going to be one of the most stressful years of back-to-school that we’ve ever experienced. Even more than our first child going off to Kindergarten and even more than our last child graduating Kindergarten, this year marks some pretty major milestones and/or struggles for all the kids, and therefore, all the adults.

Kaeidyn goes from being an elementary school student to a middle school student, which means that she’s moving schools and will most likely be taking a city bus by herself for the first time in her life. Carter goes from half-days in Kindergarten to full days in Grade 1. Keirnan jumps from the grade where, as all the teachers say, “you’re learning to read“, to the grade where, “you’re reading to learn“. And Kenzie, who struggled with his reading quite a bit, goes into the next grade and we see how good or bad his reading ends up being.

There are so many things we need to do to get ready for this wonderful (and yet, totally terrifying) school year. Honestly, I’m not even sure where to start – so the following is listed in no order of importance, really, no order other than what my chaotic brain spits out.

Make Doctors Appointments

This has been on The List for so long and it still needs to be done, and especially as we go into this school year. All of us need to go in for physicals because we haven’t had one in over four years and not for lack of necessity, just for lack of motivation…

And not just general physicians. We all need to go see an optometrist as well and we already know that The Boyfriend is going to end up needing glasses. Finally, getting everyone in to see a dentist. Keirnan’s the only kid who has ever seen one and that’s something I seriously want to change.

We’ve already agreed that The Boyfriend has to set me up a spa day as a reward for making these calls.

Find Out About Middle School

They had an information night before school ended, but we weren’t able to go. Now I’m wishing I would’ve done more to ensure that I was there, because I feel like we are so ill prepared for Kaeidyn’s first day of school. She keeps talking about needing this and that, I have no idea where I’m supposed to put this and that. It’s all just a stressful ball of unknowingness.

Get School Supplies

We’re waiting for the lists to come out on this one and hopefully we won’t leave it to the last minute like we’ve done almost every year prior to this. It’s always amazing to us how hard this process can be and how much of a headache it causes everyone.

Along with the regular school supplies, every year we get the kids two new pairs of shoes (one for indoors and one for outdoors) and a first day of school outfit. This year, they are probably also likely to need new backpacks and at least one of them has grown out of their jackets from last year. Hopefully we’ll get the masses of laundry under control so that we’ll have a better idea of what’s needed in terms of clothing before school starts.

Adjust Sleeping Schedules

As soon as summer hit, all of our sleep habits became completely erratic. The older three left for the month to their Dad’s and followed his late evening work schedule, often staying up until he got home from work after midnight. The Boyfriend, Carter and I completely and easily adjusted to The Boyfriend’s graveyard sleeping schedule and are more likely to be sleeping during the day and waking during the night.

It’s especially important with Carter going into full days this year that we adjust our sleep schedules and in a better time frame than the night before school starts. We’re hoping to start making all the kids stick to their normal, regular, school-time bedtimes after this weekend and hopefully I won’t take long to follow in their footsteps.

Create a General Routine

Many of you know, it’s long been a goal of mine to create routines in my life and I generally tend to suck intensely at doing it. I’m not saying it has to be perfect or even good, but I’d like to have some sense of organization going into this school year.

Big important things include a regular laundry schedule, a regular homework and reading time (in which Mommy ensures their agendas get signed and any papers that I need to know about get seen – because it was such a big problem every year before this…), a set dinnertime and specific chores that the kids have to do to help us keep the house clean during the school year, because it always seems to go downhill then.

Clean, Clean, Clean!

Since we’re on the subject, I really would like to get the house clean as part of the back-to-school readiness. I’d like for the first day back at school, not a single one of us stressing out over any messes. I’d like all the laundry to be done, all the dishes to be put away, the floors to be mopped and the cobwebs to be vacuumed out of the corners of our basement.

I want my table set up and ready for the kids to use for homework, I want my bookshelf neatly organized with a space specifically for all the books they’ll be bringing home. I want to get rid of all the crappy, worn-out, raggedy furniture that we’ve currently got and replace it with less crappy, worn-out and raggedy furniture. I want all the stuff to have its place and be tidy.

In a Perfect World…

If we lived in a perfect world, I wouldn’t have to worry about any of this stuff because I would be homeschooling my kids year round. Alas, that will always remain the elusive dream.

In a less perfect, and yet still entirely perfect world, I wouldn’t have to deal with middle school because we’d live closer to where I grew up and there was no such thing as middle school.

And finally, in a perfect world, I would not leave so many things until a month before school starts…