#WTMFIWednesdays: Session #10 – Having Sex


WTMFI (Way Too Much F***ing Information) Wednesdays

WTMFI (Way Too Much F***ing Information) Wednesdays

A weekly sex meme arousing discussions on sexuality


The Rules


  •   Write a post answering as many of the questions as you’d like
  •   Add one of the WTMFI Wednesdays Badges
  •   Tag your post #WTMFIWednesdays
  •   Link up with us by adding your link to the original post
  •   Share your posts using our hashtag #WTMFIWednesdays

The Questions & My Answers


Question 1:
Could you write about your sexperiences? Would you?

I could definitely write about my sexperiences and I do!

I’ve technically been writing about my sexual experiences since I was 11-years-old and got my first journal. I wrote about my first fingering experience when I was 14. I wrote about sex with Alfie the first time at 16. And so, when I started regularly blogging, it just naturally evolved to writing about my sexperiences.

It brings me a lot of joy to write about them, especially when years later I can look back over those posts and remember that evolution of my sexuality. Only a small part of it has anything to do with enjoying other people reading them and enjoying them 😉

Question 2:
Should you always pee after sex?

I generally tend to think yes. I always pee after sex, because I have to. I tend to think it’s more important for girls than it is for guys, just because there’s stuff going in us more actively than in them. The Boyfriend rarely ever pees after sex. So, to each their own.

Question 3:
Would you ever have sex in front of people? Under what circumstances?

It is an absolutely huge fantasy of mine to have sex in front of people.

In one sense, my Pornhub videos are me having sex in front of people. But I would love to have sex in front of a real, live audience. Whether that be an intimate group of 4 or 5 people who I know and love or in front of a thousand strangers – I’ve fantasized frequently about them both!

I think that I would absolutely love to do this, under almost any circumstance!

Question 4:
Should you always use a condom when having sex?

I think that should be up to the partners involved.

I personally rarely ever use a condom. I don’t often use safe sex methods at all. However, I’m in a monogamous relationship and we aren’t trying to prevent pregnancy.

I would use condoms, if I were sleeping with multiple partners or if I was preventing pregnancy. I have used condoms in the past. Just don’t need to right now.

Question 5:
Could you ever see yourself as a sex worker?

Absolutely. By uploading videos to Pornhub and previously being on cam, one could argue that I am a sex worker – although I definitely wouldn’t put myself in that category. I’m more of a hobbyist.

I’ve long thought that the ideal career for me was in sex work.

BONUS:
What would you do if you didn’t enjoy the oral sex your partner was giving you?

It would honestly depend on the type of mood I was in.

If I was feeling kinda powerful or in control (which I normally do if I’m getting oral sex), then I would most likely either verbally or physically direct the person to where I want them to go. I’m not often very shy in saying, “Oh, that doesn’t feel right. Let’s try this instead.“.

There are rare nights where I will be feeling more shy or timid (which normally only happens if he suggests the oral), then I might subtly move myself into a position that feels a little better – lifting my hips or scooching to the left a little.

A lot of times, if I’m not enjoying oral (which almost never happens!), then it’s because of me and my head. A lot of focus and concentration often get me out of this spot. Focusing in on what the sensations actually feel like rather than what I think they feel like. Concentrating on the particular movement of his tongue or his hands on my hips. Often holding hands is a great way to get me past my mind.


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The Rantings - For Everyone

Must Be Pregnant

This post was written in September 2017 during the beginning of my pregnancy with Baby #7.

The Boyfriend and I basically knew we were pregnant (although hadn’t taken a test yet) and Kaeidyn was catching on. At the time, I was considering “If I’m pregnant, I’m having an abortion. And if I’m not pregnant, I’m getting my tubes tied!” but I was struggling, because I wasn’t sure that I felt that way or was making those considerations because it was what I wanted or because it was what other people wanted.


I haven’t been feeling very well lately. I think it’s mostly just because of the time of the year – weather changing, back-to-school, etc. – but it’s been resulting in me sleeping a lot, having back and stomach pain lots and just generally being in a funk.

Every time that I exhibit any of these “symptoms“, Kaeidyn goes into hardcore, “You’re pregnant!” mode. She’ll ask if I’m sick, I’ll say that I’m not feeling well, she’ll say, “Must be pregnant!” – and while she’s never been right, she always follows up with, “If you get pregnant again, I’m packing my bags and moving out!“.

And I get it! She’s sick of me having babies. Everyone is and I get it. I hear them all shouting at me, “Get your tubes tied! Screw the depression from being on the pill, get on it! Have an abortion!“. I hear it all being screamed at me and I understand where everyone else is coming from and blah blah blah!

But I couldn’t help it. Last night, after hearing almost every day for a week now that I’m pregnant and that is going to result in my 13-year-old daughter running away from home (when none of us even know at this point if I am pregnant, being that I still have a week before we can even count me as being late…), and I just snapped at her.

At first, I was like, “It just breaks my heart that that’s where you go!” and I was just going to leave it at that. But her face, in response to my words, just pissed me off. I suddenly went on a rant – “How anti-feminist of you! Forcing me to make a choice that I don’t want to make about my reproductive life!” and she didn’t seem to care about that argument – which only surprised me because she’s usually so feminist-minded on other issues.

So then I said, and even while I was saying it, I was thinking this isn’t the right argument, but then I said, “How would you feel if I would’ve aborted you when everyone was telling me to? Or any of your brothers? Should I just make all my decisions off of everyone else’s thoughts and opinions?!?“. She basically decided to end the conversation at that point and went up to her room to go to bed. It was already midnight by this point, so after her bedtime anyways.

But now I can’t get the whole thing out of my head.

It’s not that I want another baby. Like I said last night, I think my only response to finding out that I was pregnant again would be to cry for days. I don’t think I want anymore kids, even though The Boyfriend and I have long said that we would like to try for a girl. But I don’t want to end up with 17 boys just to get a girl… And honestly, I’m tired of having babies!!!

I’m ready to do something else with my life other than be pregnant. I’m ready to just raise the family I have instead of continuing to expand it. But I also don’t want the decision to be made for me by my 13-year-old daughter. I don’t want to constantly be threatened with losing her because I don’t want to get my tubes tied or I don’t want to go on birth control. And I know, I know, those aren’t the only options. I know that safe sex is important. I know that I have ways to not get pregnant and if I don’t want kids anymore, I should be using them and blah blah blah. I freaking get it!

But I want to come to the decision to use those methodologies, all on my own. I want to get to the point where I make that decision – not where I’m coerced or forced into making that decision. And it always pisses me off when other people think they should get to have a say in my life, when I’m the one who has to live it, not them.

#WTMFIWednesdays: Session #9 – Before He Cheats


WTMFI (Way Too Much F***ing Information) Wednesdays

WTMFI (Way Too Much F***ing Information) Wednesdays

A weekly sex meme arousing discussions on sexuality


The Rules


  •   Write a post answering as many of the questions as you’d like
  •   Add one of the WTMFI Wednesdays Badges
  •   Tag your post #WTMFIWednesdays
  •   Link up with us by adding your link to the original post
  •   Share your posts using our hashtag #WTMFIWednesdays

The Questions & My Answers


Question 1:
Have you ever been cheated on?

I only know for sure of one time that I’ve been cheated on, although I’ve suspected that 2 out of 3 of my boyfriends have cheated on me.

Surprisingly, even though I had long suspected that he had cheated on me with girls, the only time that I know about was him sleeping with another man. It came as no surprise since it had always been a curiousity of his and I didn’t find out about it until over a year after it happened, so I wasn’t really upset either.

Question 2:  
Have you ever cheated on a partner?

Unfortunately the answer to this question is yes.

For the first four-ish months of The Boyfriend and I’s relationship, I was still sleeping with the older kids’ Dad, Alfie. It wasn’t what I wanted to be doing (see my answer for the bonus question…) and I wasn’t doing it to try to hurt The Boyfriend or Alfie in anyway. At the time, I thought it was what was needed for people’s protections – mostly the kids.

It was an incredibly complicated situation that makes absolutely no sense to me almost a decade later and I’m just glad that we all made it through the way that we did, because stuff could’ve turned out very differently…

Question 3:
Have you ever faked an orgasm?

Yes. And not even for my partner’s benefit, but for my own. It’s not like a go-to thing either. I won’t just fake an orgasm for the sake of faking an orgasm. I’m perfectly happy most of the time to go without an orgasm and be completely honest with everyone (including myself) that I didn’t orgasm and that’s okay.

But sometimes, you’ve worked so hard, you’ve gone so long, you’ve put so much effort in!

Question 4:
Have you ever fallen in love with someone who didn’t love you back?

Not that I know of.

Question 5:
Have you ever had an STI?

No.

BONUS:
Have you ever had sex with someone when you didn’t want to?

Technically, yes. Although, it was not rape. And you’re like, “Wait… How’s that now?“, but you’d be wrong… I’ve had sex a lot when I didn’t really want to.

In some cases, it’s like the faked orgasm thing. Sometimes you force yourself to get over the hump of lack of sexual arousal because nothing else seems to work. When you’re deep in depression, deep in the fog, for example. When pain in your back or knees or legs is telling you not to do it, but you know it’s the only thing that’ll help (literally just experienced this last night!!!). When anxiety or responsibilities or life is making arousal impossible. Sometimes, you push through that!

The four months that I cheated on The Boyfriend, it wasn’t like I was enthusiastically still sleeping with the ex. Looking back on it now, I would describe it as something akin to “dutiful“. Almost as if the whole time I was thinking, “I must do this, for so and so’s benefit/protection/happiness” – although in no way was I ever saying “No“. Time and perspective and healing has given me that view of the situation.

So yes, I’ve had sex when I didn’t want to, under a whole variety of circumstances.


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#WTMFIWednesdays: Session #8 – #RelationshipGoals


WTMFI (Way Too Much F***ing Information) Wednesdays

WTMFI (Way Too Much F***ing Information) Wednesdays

A weekly sex meme arousing discussions on sexuality


The Rules


  •   Write a post answering as many of the questions as you’d like
  •   Add one of the WTMFI Wednesdays Badges
  •   Tag your post #WTMFIWednesdays
  •   Link up with us by adding your link to the original post
  •   Share your posts using our hashtag #WTMFIWednesdays

The Questions & My Answers


Question 1:
#RelationshipGoals: What TV show would you and your partner be on?

In a way, I’ve always related our relationship to Luke and Lorelei from Gilmore Girls – although only really parts of it. He even sometimes looks like Luke…

We knew each other for a long time before we started dating, although always from a distance. After Alfie and I finally broke up, him and I started spending a lot of time together. One day, we’re sitting on the couch and somebody punched somebody, our hands locked and we’ve been holding hands ever since.

I’ve never really thought about all the ways in which we are similar or our relationship is similar to Luke and Lorelei, but if we were on any TV show, that would be the one that we’d want. During our relationship, we’ve probably watched the whole show from beginning to end about 7 times!

Question 2:
#RelationshipGoals: Which literary couple would you most like your relationship to be like?

I have simply not read enough to be able to answer this question accurately!

Question 3:
#RelationshipGoals: Which movie couple would you most like to have a relationship like?

I don’t ever think I’ve seen a movie where I was like, “That’s a great relationship!“. Maybe it’s the type of movies I watch or something, but they are always normally pretty dysfunctional or have these wicked highs and lows.

The Boyfriend and I aren’t like that. It’s just this comfortable, relaxed and very mellow relationship – outside of all the kid-related stress. When it’s just the two of us, it would make for a boring movie!!!

Question 4:
#RelationshipGoals: What song would be the theme song for your relationship?

Over the years of our relationship, I have picked many different songs as theme songs for our relationship. For awhile, I looked at Bound to You by Christina Aguilera as being the song to describe our relationship and was a little obsessed because of it. ASAP Science on YouTube once did a video called “The Science Love Song“, which I insisted was written about us because we are both kinda science nerds.

Generally, I think every good love song was written about us 😉

Question 5:
#RelationshipGoals: Do you want your relationship to have any rituals or traditions?

When I think of rituals and traditions, I immediately start thinking of kinky rituals that I would like us to add to our relationship. Greeting at the door, eye-contact or speech restrictions, etc.

I guess we do have some rituals. We always fall asleep the same way, him spooning me and always with an “I love you” before we pass out wrapped up in each other. He gives me at least three quick kisses before he leaves the house anywhere and gets quite upset if I pull away before that.

BONUS:
#RelationshipGoals: What do you hope the future of your relationship is like?

The biggest thing I’m looking forward to in the future of my relationship with The Boyfriend is growing old together. Finally having all the kids out of the house and finally just being able to spend our time enjoying each other. Our whole relationship has been nothing but taking care of and worrying about kids.

I always hope that one day he’ll propose to me, even though I have no intention of getting married. But I’ve always really wanted someone to publicly proclaim their love for me, some big romantic gesture. I don’t think it will ever happen, since neither of us really care about marriage. But it’s one of those things that I just can’t completely eradicate from my mind.

I hope our future continues to be a lot like our present.


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The Rantings - For Everyone

Kids and Their Freaking Cellphones

I’m officially nearing the end of my rope with these kids and their freaking cellphones.

Ever since Kaeidyn got her cellphone back it has been nothing but attitude and fighting between us. And then a couple days ago, Kenzie found her old phone and started using it. It has been nothing but attitude and fighting between all three of us now…

It is so stupid how unhappy cellphones are making me and I don’t even freaking have one!!!

I’m seriously getting to the point where I am considering taking the phones away from all of them and saying that there will be no more cellphones under my roof unless they are used for work purposes only (because The Boyfriend has to have one for work). Because I’m sick of my kids acting like a bunch of dramatic junkies.

I’m most sick of Kaeidyn who can’t seem to fucking live her life because of this thing that is endlessly glued to her face. She can’t get her homework in on time and she can’t go to bed at a decent hour and she can’t talk to a single person without so much snark and crudeness in her voice. In the last two days, all we’ve talked about is her attitude and that damn cellphone.

Kenzie doesn’t even have the phone for a whole day before his face is glued and all he can talk about is the damn thing. And of course, his attitude suddenly goes into overdrive because now the other kids are jealous that he’s got a cellphone and has games that he gets to play whenever because apparently the rule of no games on school days goes entirely out the window, because it’s a fucking cellphone!!!

And I know I’m not fucking powerless here. I can’t be fucking powerless here. But in the moment that I’m dealing with them and all their cellphone shit, it feels like they have control and I don’t and where the fuck is that coming from?!?

My pregnant body cannot handle the stress that these damn electronics are causing me. It literally feels like the thing that is ruining my life right now. I wake up angry, I go to bed angry and all because of some stupid tiny device and a bunch of wannabe adults.

I’m officially nearing the end of my rope with these kids and their freaking cellphones.

The Rantings - For Everyone

For Way Too Long

It has been too long with all the kids home… way too long!

Way back in the beginning of December, they all got really sick. It hit every single person in the house, even The Boyfriend who normally doesn’t get sick. They missed almost an entire month of school! And then Christmas holidays began…

They have been home for way too long!

While they were home sick, it wasn’t so bad. Everyone was sick, so it was a lot of laziness and cuddling. But they were too sick to have energy. Then, a few days after Christmas break started, they all started feeling better.

They have been home for way too long!

Almost immediately they were unmanageable. I could feel my hair graying on probably the second or third day of healthiness. But they would have these moments, where you were almost grateful they were home and you were getting to experience them like this.

They have been home for way too long!

But then, they got to this point, where they couldn’t stand each other. Carter is seriously a handful and a half. I mean, the kid has energy for days, he’s tough as balls and he likes to be the center of attention. So, him being up in everyone’s face was really starting to get on everyone’s last nerve. Awhile ago…

They have been home for way too long!

And now, it’s just out of control. They have been home for way too long now. They have had too many days pent up in the house. They have had too much togetherness. It’s just too much…

They have been home for way too long!

I feel like I spend all day yelling at them, trying to convince them to be good and ultimately end up with my head in my hands and tears in my eyes. On more than one occasion, I have just stopped fighting with them, arguing with them, trying with them and let them beat the crap out of one another until someone is crying.

They have been home for way too long!

Kaeidyn’s barely been at home at all. She’s been babysitting a lot. There was awhile there where she didn’t have a cellphone and things were going great between us. She was even nice when she found out I was pregnant again. But then she got her phone back and all I’ve gotten from her is attitude, dirty looks and ignorance.

They have been home for way too long!

And don’t even get me started on how messy the house seems now that they’re always in it. Between Keirnan’s LEGO all over the place, Carter’s papers strewn about every single surface and the mess they all seem to make any time they get themselves food, I just feel surrounded by the mess of them.

They have been home for way too long!

And because it’s a break and holiday, their bedtimes are all absolutely screwed up and yet they seem to still wake up at the crack of dawn. Tonight, we were literally fighting with them to go to bed at 2 AM!!! I’m too old to be going to bed at two o’clock in the morning… On a regular basis…

They have been home for way too long!

There have been some benefits to them being home so much. They’re all around all the time, so whenever I suddenly get the urge to clean, I have a bunch of little helpers (not that they’re much help, but at least I don’t feel like I’m doing it alone). Kenzie really likes to take Cazzwell in the morning, so The Boyfriend and I normally get to sleep in a little bit (which is great because I’ve been having terrible sleeps).

But let’s be honest, they have been home for way too long!

The Rantings - For Everyone

Looking Forward to 2018

Over the last couple of posts, I’ve been looking to the past as most of us do, as one year comes to an ending and another begins. First, I looked at some of my stats for my 2017 in Review and then I took a walk down memory lane and looked back over some of the more memorable moments of the year in Looking Back on 2017.

But now, there’s no more looking back to be done. There’s only time for looking ahead!

I’ve got some pretty big goals coming up this year. I had hoped to get a lot more done in 2017 than I did, especially in terms of blogging-related goals, but it ended up being a much busier year in real life. This year is also going to be pretty busy, but I’m getting sick of all these things sitting on the back burner.

So, here’s some of the things I have planned to do in 2018.


  • Start publishing WTMFI Wednesdays on Wednesdays

    I currently publish each session of WTMFI Wednesdays whenever I get around to it. At the time of publishing this post, I’m 3 sessions behind! I’d love to start publishing these on Wednesdays! Gotta catch up first…

  • Start doing other memes or bring back past memes

    I love memes, like a lot. They are a great way to get constant inspiration and to consistently post on your blog. I have done a few of these in the past and would like to start adding more to my repertoire. Some of them, I’d like to participate in regularly and some just every once and awhile.

    • #MasturbationMonday

      Hosted by Kayla Lords, Masturbation Monday challenges you to “write a steamy hot post about masturbation or so hot, it’ll make people want to masturbate.” I’ve never done this one, but would love to!

    • #TMITuesday

      In the vein of WTMFI Wednesdays (and probably about as old), TMI Tuesday “is a confessional of sorts where people come to reveal too much information–sexy secrets, dirty deeds, and more.” I’ve never done this one, but have always wanted to!

    • #WickedWednesday

      Wicked Wednesday is a “place where you can share your wicked sexiness or your sexy wickedness! Be creative and share!” I’ve never done this one, but think it could be fun to do every once and awhile.

    • #ThrowbackThursday

      I previously did these recap posts of my #ThrowbackThursday’s on Facebook. I still haven’t found an easy way to be able to just see these posts, so I was collecting them up myself! I want to start doing this again!

    • #FridayFavorites

      I’m a lot of places all over the web. Sometimes it’s hard to keep up with what I’m doing everywhere. So, #FridayFavorites served as a place to show you all of the stuff – from my favorite Tumblr post of the week to my favorite Tweet. I really enjoyed doing these, so I’m bringing it back!

    • #SaturdaySerenade

      #SaturdaySerenade used to be a poetry hashtag used by The Erotic Writers Group. I’m stealing it and also transforming it into a song hashtag. I plan to use it every Saturday to share musical-type things with you. You can expect to see song lyrics written by me or song lyrics that I just absolutely love and YouTube cover videos.

    • #TumblrFavorites

      Back in the day, every 3 months, you could expect to see a #TumblrFavorites post. I’d do a rundown of all the best posts to my Tumblr over that time period. I seriously miss doing these and I miss Tumblr, so I’m bringing it back!

  • Publish my first book of erotic limericks

    I’ve been working on this project for about half a year now. I decided awhile ago that it was on the list to publish my first book and also decided that that first book would be a collection of erotic limericks written by me. They’re my favorite type of poem, I love writing them and that’s why it’s going to be my first book!

  • Finish The Mermaid

    I was challenged by a member of The Erotic Writers Group last year to write a story about a mermaid. And I’ve been working mighty hard on this story on and off since I was challenged. I’m determined to have this finished this year!!!

  • Complete the first draft of The Brighton Tales

    The Brighton Tales has been a story in my head for almost a decade. I have every intention of getting this at least somewhat more complete this year. I want to get it to the point where I have the whole thing down on paper and out of my head!

  • Re-launch The Erotic Writers Group (I say this every year)

    Every year I say it and every year I mean it!

    As the creator and founder of The Erotic Writers Group, it’s my responsibility to maintain and expand this community for readers and writers of erotica. Some years, I’m absolutely amazing and the group thrives and does great. Other years, I’m a total slacker and basically just let the group do it’s thing.

    For years, I’ve been wanting to really dedicate a lot of my effort into this group. Get the website that I’ve been talking about going, post regularly and make products and publish books and the list really goes on and on and on.

    This year, I want to buckle down hard!!! Prioritize this like crazy and finally, finally bring my vision to life!!!

  • Start posting videos on Pornhub again…

    It’s been quite awhile since The Boyfriend and I posted videos on Pornhub. It wasn’t a planned experience, so we didn’t plan to keep posting. But we’ve both expressed an interest in doing more. We’ve got tons of ideas and now it’s just a matter of following through.

  • Take a lot more pictures of everything!!!

    I keep getting Facebook memories that make me think, “I should’ve gotten a picture of that!“. There’s so many memories that we’re missing out on. Plus, there’s a new baby about to be a part of our family. Always good to take lots of pictures during that time, since it goes so fast! I also want to become a better photographer and practice makes perfect.

  • Make more products for my Zazzle store

    I bet you didn’t even know I have a Zazzle store... I do and I even have some products. When I do work on this, I work pretty hard. However, I’m likely to forget it even exists for a long time. More designs, more products, more promotion!!!

  • Start playing a Sims 4 Legacy Challenge

    Way back in March, I had asked which legacy challenge I should do as my first Sims 4 challenge after my hiatus. However, I never got around to starting any challenges. I recently ran a poll on my Facebook page asking if I should even bother with the Sims 4 on ValerieRayne.com.

    Either way, I want to play a Sims 4 Legacy Challenge – even if I don’t blog about it!

  • Write something erotic once a week

    Currently, I publish erotica all willy-nilly. I want to do it a lot more!!! I think if I could dedicate myself to writing one erotic thing once a week, I’d be very happy.

  • Write a poem or song once a week

    I used to write poems/songs daily. Now, I’m lucky if it happens once or twice a year. Honestly, this year I’d just like to be more creative in general. And I really want to expand my original songs repertoire, because right now, it’s super tiny!

  • Record a new cover or original to YouTube once a month

    It’s always been a goal of mine to become more active on my YouTube channel. I’d love to be able to add a new video at least once a month. Eventually, I’d love to do a daily vlog too, but really I just need to get comfortable with a little bit more consistency on there!

  • Check into my Tumblr at least once a week

    I was doing a great job of this for quite a long time. And then, I went through a period of rarely ever being aroused and Tumblr really went to the way back burner. I haven’t even looked at it in a few weeks now… It’s time to get back to the good ole days and check into my Tumblr more often!!!

  • Participate in the Goodreads reading challenge

    I have been participating in this for a few years now. Usually, I set the bar way too high and never come even close to the mark. Last year, I set the bar incredibly low with only 1 book to read and of course, did it. This year, I want to actually challenge myself but also make it a reachable goal, so I’ve chosen to try to read 13 books (one for each month and one for good luck 😉)

  • Buy and review an erotic eBook once a month

    Currently, I don’t read any erotica. I never seem to be able to find the time or the space to just sit down and do it. But I really want to support some of the people who have supported me over the years – especially members of The Erotic Writers Group. I also want to try my hand at writing reviews 😉

  • Figure out a way to offer audio of all of my blog posts

    I don’t know why, but I’ve been obsessed with this idea for about half a year now. First of all, I think sometimes my writing comes off as confusing because you can’t get my tone or inflection through commas and exclamation points! Also, I know there is an audience, especially for posts like my erotica or sexperiences.

    I haven’t figured out how I want to do this or what exactly I want it to be like (so if you have any suggestions…), I just know that I’ve been obsessed with the idea and so I have to figure out how to do it!


Ultimately, we can sum up all my goals for the year into three words: More, Consistency and Creativity.  I want to be more consistent and I want to be more creative. I want to finish something, not just start it. Now, it’s just a matter of getting it done!!!